


Losing Makoto

by Tinni



Series: Delphinidae [3]
Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Future Fic, M/M, cause really, everybody being huge makoto fans, lots of makoto, makoto being awesome, makoto being oblivious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-16
Updated: 2014-03-17
Packaged: 2017-12-26 18:39:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 39
Words: 126,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/968974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tinni/pseuds/Tinni
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Makoto get's scouted by a talent agent to be a model and moves to Tokyo to pursue a career in modelling and music. Suddenly Haru faces the prospect of losing Makoto and is spurred into action to chase the man he has loved since age 4. At the same time Rin finds himself in Tokyo as part of the National Swimming program but he is surrounded by hostile teammates with his Australian past coming back to haunt him but Makoto has become his source of warmth and happiness that he doesn't want to lose. Meanwhile, Makoto remains oblivious to the fact that he's the love interest of both Rin and Haru! How can he be so dense? Who will he choose? How much angst can I visit upon Makoto, Haru and Rin before this story reaches its conclusion? Find out by reading today!</p><p>M rated for angst (no smut)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Assuming the Free! series is set in this year, which I think it is, the time frame for this fic is that Makoto gets scouted roughly in October 2013 and the fic will stretch until October 2014 because October 2014 is when the Asian games are going to be held in South Korea.
> 
> Asian games would be one of the international competitions Rin would have to perform well in to be get on the radar of the Japanese Olympic Committee for the games in 2016. I roughly know what the last chapter is going to be like and for it to have the full impact, I think it would be fun to have Makoto, Haru and Rin in South Korea and some bad things to happen to Makoto. Look forward to it!

It was a typical lazy Iwatobi day that Makoto was spending window shopping along Iwatobi’s main shopping street. He wasn’t looking for anything particular but Makoto knew some birthdays were coming-up, as were his parents anniversary and he wasn’t the type of guy to leave things last minute. For one thing, he didn’t have a lot of money as his allowance wasn’t large and because being a swimmer wasn’t cheap. Even with Makoto supplementing his allowance doing odd jobs from time to time, usually down at the fishing port and sometimes at the beachfront stores, he still had to budget carefully for presents. So when Makoto had a chance, like he had today, he made a point of looking for bargains, sales etc on nice things that his friends and family would love.

 

Makoto came across a sweet store and stopped to decide if there was something he would like to bring back for Ren and Ran, maybe something for Haru too. Caught-up trying to remember how much money he had with him, since he wasn’t really comfortable pulling out his wallet and counting how much had on him, as well as trying to decide what he should get - Makoto didn’t notice that a strange looking man was inching closer and closer to him. Not until the man had invaded his personal space enough that Makoto felt the man’s breath on the side of his neck.

 

“Ah!” exclaimed Makoto as he jumped back and faced the man with a look of confusion mingled with fear on his face, “What…”

 

“You are gorgeous!” the man declared, as he took steps to bridge the gap Makoto had just created between them, “Absolutely, stunningly gorgeous! I bet you have a lovely body! Yes, I can tell, its all muscular and sexy as hell. I want to see it! Every inch of it!”

 

“Ehhhhhh,” exclaimed Makoto as he slowly started to back away.

 

Makoto was about ready to turn and run when the man actually grabbed him in a surprisingly strong grasp, “Don’t run! And don’t be afraid! I am not going to hurt you! I just want your body!”

 

“Huh!!!!!” Makoto exclaimed as he desperately looked around for Haru, only to remember Haru wasn’t here.

 

But then, “Oi,” came a low dangerous voice.

 

The man holding Makoto turned towards the street side and then was met with a solid fist to his guts that left him winded but otherwise unhurt. “Rin!” cried Makoto in patent relief as he jumped behind Rin, thus placing the shark between himself and the strange aggressive man.

 

Rin sighed, “Honestly Makoto, you are a freaking giant that’s made of muscles but still the biggest potential rape victim I know!”

 

“Huh?” started Makoto, “Do potential rape victims have a specific type or something?”

 

“Sort of,” said Rin, before sighing again, “You are too gentle for your own good. Anyway, let’s get out of here.”

 

“Wai….wait,” wheezed the man, “Don’t go! Please don’t go! I can’t let such a find like you go without tests shots!” Rin cracked his knuckles, the man got the hint and started to explain, “I am sorry if I came across a little weird, but I just couldn’t help myself. You are so gorgeous!” he once again said to Makoto, “But,” he added quickly, eyeing Rin carefully, “I wasn’t thinking any perverted thoughts. I am actually not into that kind of thing. I just liking looking, which is why I am so good at what I do! Scouting out models!!!!”

 

“Huh!” both Rin and Makoto exclaimed.

 

The man by this time had recovered enough to stand properly, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his card, “I am Tanaka Lory! I work for a Kyo-Kon talent agency’s modelling section and I want to explore the potential of putting that gorgeous body of yours to work for my agencies clients!”

 

Rin and Makoto both gave blank stares before Rin exclaimed, “This is like an intro to a porno!”

 

“No I swear I am legitimate!” said Tanaka, “You can do searches on my company and call them up to verify my credentials. In fact,” he looked at Rin, “You can come as a bodyguard to make sure I don’t do anything to your boyfriend.”

 

“He’s not my boyfriend,” both Rin and Makoto exclaimed in unison, before Rin added, “Speaking of boyfriends, where is Haru? Shouldn’t he be here making sure you don’t get in trouble?”

 

“Haru’s not my boyfriend either!” exclaimed Makoto, slightly irritated.

 

“Could have fooled me,” said Rin evenly, “The way you too act, you might as well be married.”

 

Makoto’s eyes twitched, “Are you making fun of me?”

 

“No just stating facts,” said Rin with a grin, “Anyway, let’s go.”

 

“No wait please,” Tanaka blocked Makoto’s path, “Just take my card and think about it! There could be good money in it for you. Just some test shots! And you can bring whoever you like to the session! Just… just come and let us take some pictures that we can add to our portfolio. We can’t pay you for the session but we will happily provide you with digital copies of the photos. These will be professional shots, so they are worth something!” Tanaka proceeded to press his card into Makoto’s hands, saying, “Just think about it! And if you are at all interested, give me a call and we can work out a suitable time. But mind you, I am always travelling so the sooner you call the better!”

 

* * *

 

“Just throw away the card and forget it,” Rin had advised Makoto before they had parted but Makoto’s curiosity had gotten the better of him. Instead he had come home and researched the talent agency and dug around the web for information on Tanaka Lory.

 

Tanaka Lory was a legitimate talent scout as well as a legitimate weirdo who did like ogling both men and women. But he had a good eye and so the company tolerated his eccentricities. As for the company, they had a good reputation and had a helpful “what to expect when starting to model” section on their website that laid bear the uncertainties, low pay and costs the model had to pay from their own pocket etc. Makoto is left with no delusion and he can respect a company that doesn’t try to sugarcoat reality. Yet…

 

Makoto thinks about all the things he wants to give his friends and family. He would love to be able to join a gym with an indoor pool with Haru and watch Haru swim all year long. He wants to give Ren and Ran more toys, more sweets, more books and more of everything. He would love, absolutely love to be able to send his parents on a long vacation for their anniversary that’s coming-up. Plus there is the future to think about. He could do with some money.

 

Not that Makoto thought he was going to land any jobs. But was it really okay not to try? The test shot sessions were not going to cost him anything but some time. Maybe he should go… but he didn’t really want to go alone… at the sametime he didn’t want to tell any of his friends because the whole thing was making him a bit self-conscious. But Rin already knew so…

 

Makoto texted Rin, “Rin, I think I want to do the test shot session thing. But I really don’t want to go alone and I don’t want to tell Haru and the others if I don’t have to. Could you come with me?” As Makoto hit send he wondered if Rin would agree. If he didn’t… should Makoto ask Haru? Would Haru come with him? Makoto was certain Nagisa would come and would probably drag Rei, Gou and even Haru long because this is the kind of thing that would make Nagisa excited. Which is exactly why he didn’t want the whole gang there.

 

Makoto sighed, if Rin said no, he would ask Haru and if Haru said no, Makoto would forget it. With that resolution, Makoto headed to bed but just then his phone rang, “Hello Rin,” he said, having noticed the caller ID.

 

“Why are you doing this?” Rin demanded, getting straight to the point.

 

“I could use the money,” said Makoto frankly, “Well, assuming I get anywhere that is and this is not just a dead end. But its likely to be more fun than helping unload fish and a lot less smelly.”

 

“I don’t know, models wear a lot of perfume,” Rin offered dryly. Makoto laughed. Rin sighed, “I’ll go with you but I still think this is a bad idea.”

 

“Don’t worry,” said Makoto gently, “I doubt I’ll get anywhere. I mean, would you buy a product my face was peddling?”

 

“Makoto, you really have no idea do you, how many men would turn gay for you and how many women would go to the ends of the earth to have you all to themselves,” wondered Rin.

 

“Zero?” offered Makoto.

 

Rin laughed, “Don’t change,” he told him, “Text me the details when you have them,” and with that they hung-up. Afterwards Makoto went happily to bed, but Rin stayed-up with an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Just three days after Makoto’s strange encounter with the talent scout Tanaka Lory, Makoto and Rin found themselves standing in-front of an inconspicuous looking house. It looked just like a residential property, so Rin couldn’t help asking, “You sure you got the right address?”

 

“I think so,” said Makoto, double checking the email he was sent on his phone, “Let’s knock and find out.”

 

They barely finished knocking when the door was enthusiastically opened by a thoroughly excited Tanaka, “Tachibana-kun! Come in, come in and I see you brought your handsome not-boyfriend protector with you too!”

 

Rin rolled his eyes but said nothing while Makoto laughed nervously, “Thank you for having us,” Makoto said politely.

 

“No, no, thank you for calling,” said Tanaka, “Let me introduce you to our photographer,” he lead them inside and it was then that they realised that the inside of the house had been completely remodelled into a photographic studio, “Ah here is the genius with the lens, Hayate Asami! Asami-chan let me introduce you to… Tachibana Makoto and um...”

 

“Matsuoka Rin,” Rin introduced himself.

 

Asami acknowledged them both with a nod before turning to Makoto and studying him carefully and closely. She began to slowly walk around him, studying him like an artist would study the medium they were about to carve, mold or otherwise shape into art. Makoto felt more than a little uncomfortable under her gaze. Finally she nodded, “Time to strip,” she finally stated.

 

“Eh!” gasped a shocked Makoto.

 

“We are leaving!” declared Rin, as he gave the evil eye to Tanaka - who had started drooling.

 

Asami sighed, “Let me elaborate,” she pulled back a curtain to reveal a changing room, “Please go in there and put on one of the three outfits there. Than we can get started.”

 

Now that he was here, Makoto started to feel a rising panic. What the hell was he doing? Was modelling just about putting on different clothes and standing in front of a camera? Of course not! If it was, anyone could do it. He knew nothing about posing and stuff like that. What on earth was he doing?

 

“Haru,” he found himself mentally calling out, “Haru,” But Haru wasn’t there and he had no one to draw strength fro…

 

“Don’t overthink it,” Rin interrupted his thoughts bluntly, “Not like anyone is expecting you to be a supermodel from the get go. Beside, we can just leave if you really don’t want to do it anymore.”

 

“Yes, yes, that’s exactly right!” interjected Tanaka, “Well at least the part about no one expecting you to know everything from the start! The leaving part is wrong! Don’t leave! Just put one of the outfits on and let Asami-chan ogle you with her camera!”

 

“Why do I get the impression this day is going to end with me punching you again,” said Rin, addressing Tanaka.

 

“Again?” wondered Asami.

 

Tanaka laughed self deprecatingly, “I got a little over enthusiastic when we met. Enough of that,” he started to pull Makoto towards the change room, “Get dressed! Get dressed!”

 

They started with getting Makoto to just stand naturally before coaxing him into striking different poses, making different facial expressions etc, etc. They got him to wear all three outfits in-turn and did similar things. But as the session wore on, they also asked him to think of poses that he thought best suited the outfit he was in or just to strike a pose he naturally would in the outfit in question. Makoto did his best and hoped he wasn’t disgracing himself too badly.

 

Standing at the back of the room, Rin found a feeling of unease at the pit of his stomach. Especially since he could see the laptop that was connected to Asami’s digital camera and where a copy of the pictures she was taking were also displayed. Rin did not know much about photography and even less about fashion but it was obvious even to him that Makoto was terribly photogenic and he was learning very, very quickly to pose and emote.

 

Why was he uneasy? Wasn’t it a good thing that Makoto was showing potential in modelling? Afterall, he couldn’t spend his life being Haru’s conduit to the world beyond water, not to mention other people. Eventually Makoto was going to find something all his own. It might as well be modelling! Yet the unease did not lessen.

 

* * *

 

“I am sorry it took so long Rin,” said Makoto, the whole session had taken about two and a half hours, “I really thought it would be done sooner.”

 

Rin shrugged, “Wasn’t your fault.”

 

“Let me buy you dinner,” said Makoto, “It’s the least I can do and you must be hungry. What do you want to eat?”

 

“Ramen sounds good,” said Rin. They found a ramen place and sat down to dinner. They talked about random things of no consequence. Before finally Rin brought-up the topic weighing him down, “I think you are going to be pretty successful as a model Makoto.”

 

“Thanks, that’s very kind of you to say,” Makoto replied with a smile.

 

  
“I am serious,” said Rin, “Anyway, you should tell Haru and take him with you… um… next time. I mean you are doing this for him aren’t you.”

 

“Well not just for Haru but,” Makoto smiled that smile, the smile he has on his face when he looks at Haru or, as he was now, thinking about Haru, “I didn’t care when he quit competitive swimming. That was, afterall, never his thing. But our old swim club closed about the same time and suddenly Haru didn’t have a place to swim since the school pool was only for the club. There was only so many times we could break into the pool after hours. I… don’t really want that to happen again. So if I can earn enough to get us into a gym with an indoor pool, well then, it’ll all be worth it!”

 

“Will it?” wondered Rin and then Makoto’s full speech registered, “Also, why did Haru quit competitive swimming anyway? Seems like a daft thing to do.”

 

“Ah well…” Makoto realised he couldn’t just tell Rin that Haru had quit because Rin had been hurt. For one it wasn’t his place. So Makoto just smiled and said, “Ask Haru sometime,” he said, “As for it being worth it,” Makoto smiled that thinking-of-Haru smile again, “Watching Haru swim and be happy is always worth it.”

 

Rin said nothing and returned to eating his ramen. Makoto took the hint and changed the topic to something Rin would be interested in, like the upcoming swim trials for the national team, “Are you going to go?”

 

“Of course,” replied Rin, “Captain Mikoshiba is also going,” Rin sighed, “We’ll be sharing a dorm room while at the trials… I am going to have to listen to him gush over Gou for an entire week!” Makoto smiled in sympathy and they continued on the topic of the swim trials, including events Rin was going to take part in and his chances of success for the rest of their meal.

  
After they parted, Makoto decided that no matter what happened with the modelling thing. He was glad he decided to do the test sessions, if only because it was nice to spend time with Rin without Rin being all angsty, troubled and so very, very angry. Makoto, afterall, did miss the sweet smiling innocently romantic Rin of the past. But the current badass, sexy, broody Rin wasn’t bad either, in fact, he was pretty cool. Overall, Makoto was glad Rin was back, even if Rin did have a tendency to disturb Haru’s peace of mind.


	3. Chapter 3

Three days on from the test shots, the only people other than Rin who knew about Makoto’s parents. At least Makoto assumed his father knew. He had in fact told only his mother a heavily edited version of his encounter with the Tanaka the scout, leaving out the ogling and Rin’s punch, and expressed his desire to go the test session just to see where the path might lead. His mother had given him her enthusiastic support but was surprised that Rin, not Haru, was the one going with him. Indeed his mother had a hard time remember who Rin was but eventually remembered that Rin was the “cute little red-haired butterfly swimmer who smiled a lot”. Makoto commented that Rin was no longer little but rather tall and more handsome than cute but he didn’t have the heart to tell her that he didn’t smile much anymore.

Apart from a “How did it go?” from his mother straight after his return, Makoto hadn’t talked about his brush with modelling. Figuring he would let Ren, Ran and Haru in on the story once he received the email containing the photographs from the test session. They would have a look at the pictures together, Makoto would get laughed at and teased and that’ll be that. Because every passing day was convincing Makoto more and more of how absurd the whole concept of boring old him being a model. Makoto wasn’t totally oblivious to his looks but models were super hot right? Or at least looked super hot in fashionable cloths and so make you want to emulate them and so buy the clothes, the perfume, the gum or whatever else it is that they are selling. Who would want to emulate him, Makoto wondered.

So it was that Makoto was completely and utterly shocked when his phone, which he never put on silent because mostly Haru and his family ever called him and if they were calling him - Makoto needed to pick-up no matter what he was doing, went off during lunch and it was the photographer Hayate Asami on the other end, “It’s lunch time right? It’s been awhile since I was in school.”

“Ah, yes, umm… Hayate-san?” ventured Makoto since Asami hadn’t jumped straight to asking him about lunch and so Makoto had, had to place her voice.

“Call me Asami,” she said, “You have some awesome karma,” she declared.

“Ha?”

“Yesterday Tanaka made his monthly scouting finds presentation to HQ in Tokyo and your pictures were of course included. Just as your gorgeous smile was lighting-up the room the creative director Go Out magazine, who was in our offices for a meeting, walked by and saw you picture through the glass wall of our meeting room. He decided you were the kind of person who would be able to pull off the edgy styles they are known for. Plus you looked like someone who had an appreciation of the outdoors,” she explained before adding, “Do you?”

“Well my family do camp out every summer,” offered Makoto with a forced laugh, his head spinning because Go Out was a popular magazine.

“Well that’s just perfect,” said Asami, “I am heading to Tokyo this afternoon. Get packed, and meet me at train station by 7 PM. You can bring the red-head if you like. The office is happy to advance you money for two tickets. You’ll stay the night at one of the apartments our office rents for guests, out of town models and for shoots. You’ll have to share a double bed though, if you bring your friend but I imagine that’s not going to be a problem.”

“Ah, I have school tomorr…” started Makoto.

“Get used to skipping,” said Asami, “See you at 7,” with that she hung-up.

Makoto held the phone to his ears long after Asami had hung-up, just listening to the disconnected tone. His mind reeling. Tanaka had told him that his first jobs were likely to be catalogue work and maybe some of the small magazines but instead he was off to Tokyo tomorrow to take part in a shoot for Go Out? This was unbelievable!

“Mako-chan,” Nagisa gently prodded, “Are you okay?”

This brought Makoto back to reality and made him notice that all three of his friends were looking at him with worried gazes. He quickly put away his phone quickly and forced himself to smile, “I am fine! I just… won’t be at school tomorrow,” he said as he looked away.

Nagisa pouted and was clearly about to ask why but Haru jumped Nagisa to the gun and demanded, “Why? And who’s Hayate-san?”

“Are you having an affair with an older woman?” Nagisa asked suddenly.

“Huh! Why did your mind go there Nagisa!” demanded Makoto.

“I saw something like that in one of my sisters shoujo mangas,” Nagisa said cheerfully, “So, so, Mako-chan, is that why you are skipping school tomorrow?”

“Nagisa-kun!” exclaimed the exasperated Rei as Haru’s expression tightened. 

Makoto swallowed and decided to just come clean and told them everything. This time he didn’t bother to censor anything either.

“Wow! Mako-chan is going to be a model!” exclaimed Nagisa, “That’s great!”

“Congratulations senpai,” said Rei, “Modelling is a truly beautiful profession,” he declared.

Nagisa then turned to Haru and asked, “So Haru-chan, I guess you’ll be going with Mako-chan right?”

“He can take Rin,” Haru said in his deadpan voice but Makoto felt the full force of Haru’s anger.

“Haru…” he started but he couldn’t really continue in front of Nagisa and Rei. Fortunately, they were not as bad at reading the mood as people believed them to be and excused themselves before long, leaving Makoto and Haru alone.

“Haru,” Makoto started again, “I am really, really sorry I ended-up going with Rin. It’s just that…” Makot sighed, “I was embarrassed and Rin already knew… it seemed easier just to ask him. But while I was there, I was really scared and then I thought of Haru and thinking of Haru calmed me down and I was able to do my best. That’s why, that’s why I would really appreciate it if you would come with me to Tokyo, Haru.”

There was a moment of silence that seemed to extend even to Haru’s mind because Makoto had not a clue what Haru was thinking. Finally Haru asked, “What are you trying to do?”

Makoto blinked, hadn’t Haru asked this before? Yes, Haru had asked it of Rin when Rin had told them he was going to Australia. “I don’t have any big dream or set goals,” admitted Makoto, “I just want to follow this road for a while because it seems fun and collect some coins along the way. If I get enough coins, I would like to get my parents a big present for their anniversary and do something nice for Ren and Ran,” Makoto explained, he hesitated for a moment before adding, “I also would like to do something nice with Haru-chan. Maybe join a gym with an indoor pool so I can swim with Haru-chan all year long or go with Haru-chan to that new water amusement park and…”

“Makoto,” Haru interrupted, “You shouldn’t do these things for other people. You should think of yourself more.”

“But I am thinking about myself, Haru-chan,” said Makoto, “Because nothing makes me happier than seeing the people I love happy. Especially Haru-chan,” and that Haru knew to be the absolute truth.

For reasons Haru could never comprehend, Makoto’s own enjoyment of something was always heightened when he saw Haru was also enjoy it. Whether it be gazing at the reflecting of the stars on a puddle of rain water or swimming in the relay together or simply enjoying a festival, no matter how happy the activity was making Makoto, if Haru was also happy, Makoto was happier.

“I’ll go with you,” Haru finally said, “Besides, school would be a pain without you anyway.” 

Makoto smiled one of his big smile and all was right between them… until the next day when Haru watched in Makoto during the magazine photoshoot and felt… Haru wasn’t sure what he was feeling but he didn’t like it. He didn’t like it one bit. Because the Makoto who stood underneath the glare of the spotlights, striking poses as instructed by Asami did not feel like Makoto, even if Makoto’s eyes were frequently tracking to Haru and Haru knew Makoto was drawing strength and courage from Haru like he would normally, Haru felt uneasy. He didn’t like this. He didn’t like this at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go Out is an actual Japanese magazine. I actually looked up “Japanese men’s magazine” and as soon as I saw Go Out I knew it was the magazine for Makoto would most likely model for. The description of it I found on the web is “Go Out is filled with modern, cutting edge outdoors gear in all sorts of mad colours.” it seems to be the kind of thing they dress Makoto in, in official artwork. So… yeah!


	4. Chapter 4

Like many of Haru’s epiphanies, his epiphany regarding why he did not approve of Makoto’s bygoning modelling career had come in the pool. In a Tokyo pool of the apartment complex where he and Makoto were staying during Makoto’s second call-up to Tokyo. This time it had been during a weekend and so Makoto had not hesitated to ask Haru again. Makoto had felt very guilty about the first time because Haru had missed school. He had worked hard to get notes for the indifferent Haru and made sure Haru would not fall behind due to Makoto’s selfishness. But since the second time was during a weekend, Makoto had allowed himself to be selfish and had all but begged Haru to come with him again.

 

Haru had gotten bored of watching Makoto’s shoot and so had wandered back to the apartment complex and had made his way to the pool. He wasn’t really swimming as he was drifting on his back and that’s when it hit him, Makoto was drifting. Makoto was drifting away from Iwatobi and Haru and Makoto didn’t even realise he was doing it. Haru righted himself and started to tread water so he could remain upright, as a sort of panic filled him.

 

He knew this may be coming since their future beyond high school was not necessarily intertwined but he had hoped, prayed that he would still have the rest of high school to enjoy being besides his best friend. But now, now Haru realised he had taken for granted that Makoto wouldn’t change, wouldn’t start to drift away, at least until the end of high school. Haru swam to the edge of the pool and was about to pull himself out when, “Haru-chan,” Makoto was there, holding out his hand to pull Haru-up, “I hope you weren’t too bored. Sorry I couldn’t get away sooner. Are you hungry?”

 

Haru let himself be pulled up and said, “Makoto, you should probably get used to coming to Tokyo without me,” it hurt to say, “I mean, I can’t always be beside you. Especially if you are serious about this.”

 

“I am sorry Haru-chan,” whispered Makoto, “I was being very selfish wasn’t I? Dragging you here with me, I mean. I am really sorry.”

 

“Don’t be,” said Haru, “I wanted to come too. I wanted to support you and if this is what I want to do…” Haru trailed off. Even though they were still holding hands, Haru felt a growing distance between them.

 

“Hey Haru-chan,” Makoto suddenly asked, “Do you realise how long we have been together?”

 

“13 year, six months and 12 days,” offered Haru.

 

“I think the months and days might be a bit much Haru-chan,” said Makoto, picking up on the fact that Haru was making a joke to try and lighten the mood, “And besides, how can you calculate the days and months when we can’t remember when we met exactly. I mean, for me, you were always just there.”

 

It was the same for Haru as well. All he really remembered was starting to call Makoto, Makoto around kindergarten. Haru wasn’t even sure what he called Makoto before that, just that since kindergarten Makoto has been Makoto and he has been Haru-chan. Kindergarten was 13 years ago. They have been together since the age of four. No wonder they were often teased as being the old married couple by their schoolmates.

 

“The point is, Haru-chan,” Makoto continued, “I don’t want us ever to part but I know we probably will after we graduate. I don’t even know what you want to do after graduation and if I don’t know, I can’t follow you… and that’s assuming you are okay with me following you and don’t think I am being some sort of creepy, clingy, stalker who is weirdly dependent on you and…”

 

“Makoto,” said Haru, “If you ever call yourself those things again, I swear I will never speak to you. Think about it Makoto, a lifetime of the silent treatment!”

 

Makoto laughed, but then became serious, “I don’t know what I want to do. Not right now and certainly not what I want to do after graduation. Except that I want to be besides you always. So for now, I want to try walking along this road and see where it leads. I… probably will have to walk alone because I can’t keep dragging Haru-chan with me to Tokyo and,” Makoto blushed, “It seems I might be coming to Tokyo a lot.”

 

Haru blinked, just how far had Makoto drifted already? the Go Out magazine wasn’t even out yet! “Did something else happen?” wondered Haru.

 

“Few more people showed interest,” said Makoto, “But nothing serious. They want to wait for the Go Out issue to come out and also the ad I shot today to start running before they sign me up for anything. Makes sense, I might totally bomb with the consumers.”

 

For a moment Haru almost wished Makoto would bomb. Almost, but his better feelings caught-up with him and checked the wish. Instead Haru said as sincerely as he could, “I’ll be cheering for you.”

 

Makoto smiled, “Thanks Haru-chan, but for now. Let’s just return to Iwatobi and resume our everyday lives.”

 

To this Haru readily agreed, adding, “I don’t know what I want to do after graduation yet, Makoto,” explained Haru, “So don’t worry too much about it. But what I do know is that I don’t want to part from you either,” and that made Makoto smile, really genuinely smile. They headed back to their apartment. They had an early train to catch in the morning.

 

About a week after Haru and Makoto returned to Iwatobi, the ad Makoto had shot ran in a weekly magazine. Two weeks after that, the Go Out magazine came out. Both were hits and Tachibana Makoto landed a year long contract with Go Out and that was just the start.

 

* * *

 

Dear Rin,

Thanks for coming with me to the test session. Sorry it took me five weeks to find a way to properly thank you.

 

“Actually Makoto, I think you thanked me by buying dinner,” Rin thought but kept reading the letter he had unexpectedly received from Makoto, about six weeks after he had accompanied Makoto to the test session. In that six week Rin received one text thanking him again and informing him Makoto was off to Tokyo for his first shoot with Haru and that had been it. It was actually one text more than Rin had expected because… well, he wasn’t exactly close friends with any of them any more.

 

I don’t know if you have seen any of the stuff I appeared in...

 

Rin glance at the few magazines on his table, that otherwise was spartanly neat and tidy and generally only had his school books. Yeah, he might have kept abreast of Makoto’s modelling activities...

 

...but my next job is for an amusement park. I managed to get day passes for everybody. The day passes also act as transport passes which is great because the park is a bit far and you have to take a Shinkansan. I sent you two. I hope you can make it. You don’t have to meet-up with us if you don’t want to. You can always just meet-up with Gou-chan. I gave two to Gou-chan so she can go with her friend, Hanamura Chigusa. Have you met Chigusa-chan? She’s kind of cute, I think you’ll like her. Of course Gou-chan might decide to go with Captain Mikoshiba. ^.^

 

“Don’t even joke about that Makoto,” Rin chastised mentally, “And I also hope you and Gou aren’t trying to set me up with this Chigusa-chan. I don’t have time for dating crap.”

 

Anyway, hope you can make it and if you like, come and watch me prance around pretending to be on a date with the model Hinamori Chizuru. Have you seen her work? They think we look good together so I keep getting paired with her. Haru doesn’t like her.

 

“Of course he doesn’t, you dolt!” thought Rin, “I get jealous and I am not your other half.”

 

\- Makoto

 

Rin sighed and looked at the passes he was sent. He stared at it for a good five minutes before calling out, “Nitori!”

 

Nitori jumped and instinctively slammed shut his journal, into which he was writing his Rin related observation from the day, “Yes!” he called back from the top bunk.

 

“What are you doing this sunday?”

 

“Umm…” Nitori had no plans but he felt he should maybe say he was going to do something productive like training or studying. That’s the kind of thing is perfect senpai Matsuoka Rin would be doing on a sunday right?

 

“What to go to an amusement park with me?” Rin asked.

 

Nitori tilted down from his bunk and gave Rin a surprised look, double checking that he was not being toyed with. Rin stared back impassively, but that seemed to be enough to satisfy Nitori who smiled a radiant smile and replied, “Yes, of course! Let’s have fun senpai.”

 

“Whatever,” replied Rin and turned away to text Gou to let her know he would be at the park and wasn’t averse to meeting-up with her for part of the day if she wanted to spend some time with her brother.

 

* * *

 

Rin didn’t want to admit it but he was having fun. Gou’s friend was cute to look at and she had the good grace to keep Nitori company as Gou herself clung to Rin, delighting in being able to spend some quality time with her older brother.

 

They saw Haru, Makoto and Makoto’s family in the distance with Nagisa and Rei tagging along but Rin changed course so he at least wouldn’t run into them. Dealing with Makoto was one thing, dealing with the whole gang together… especially Haru… just the thought soured Rin’s mood. But it soon lifted as Gou dragged him away to ride a roller coaster with her. Rin liked roller coasters, though Nitori was green by the end of the ride.

 

Sometime in the afternoon Gou got a text from Nagisa telling her they were about to start shooting Makoto’s commercial and gave her the location to come if she wanted to watch. She did, Rin didn’t but Gou insisted, he went along because he didn’t have the energy to argue but made the point of putting on his baseball cap and hanging back so he didn’t ran into Haru and Nagisa. Gou took the hint and silently agreed to the compromise.

 

Still, from Rin’s position, he not only had a good view of Makoto and the model Hinamori, who had a habit of clinging onto Makoto even between takes and Makoto was of course too nice to shake her off, but also of Haruka. Rin was not as adept as reading Haru’s mood as Makoto but even he could tell that Haru was getting more on edge and annoyed the longer the commercial shoot lasted.

 

“Action,” cried the director for the tenth time.

 

Makoto took his position in front of a visitors map that served to discreetly advertised the name of the park while the camera captured Makoto casually lounging. “Damn he’s sexy,” thought Rin, “When the hell did this happen?” he wondered, “When did our cute Mako-chan become… become like this? Damn you puberty!”

 

On cue Hinamori run into the shot calling-out an apology and asking, “Have you been waiting long?”

 

And there it was, the Makoto smile, warm and comforting but this time tinged with something indefinably sexy with bedroom eyes thrown in for good measures as he extended his arm to Hinamori and said simply, “Not at all, let’s have fun…”

 

And for the tenth time in a row, Hinamori fumbled her bit. Rin rubbed his forehead, why the hell could the girl not manage the simple task of smiling back and going, “Let’s!” and walking off arm in arm with Makoto? Wasn’t she supposed to be a professional?

 

“I guess Hinamori-chan is struggling because this is her first TV commercial,” Gou’s friend Chigusa pipped in, “She’s only done print stuff so far.”

 

“Are you a fan, Chigusa-kun?” asked Gou.

 

Chigusa nodded, “Just a little,” she said with a smile before turning back to watch Hinamori, who was apologising again to Makoto and the director. Makoto was being understanding, the director clearly was running out of patience. “Mind you though,” Chigusa added, “If Tachibana-senpai looked at me like that, I would forget my lines too! I wonder if he’s thinking of anyone when he makes that face.”

 

“Haru.”

 

“Haruka-senpai,” said Rin and Gou respectively, simultaneously.

 

“Eh? Are they going out?” wondered Chigusa.

 

Gou didn’t know how to answer that but Rin said, “I don’t think they are going out. Maybe they should, maybe they will or maybe they never will and eventually find a pair of girls who can accept the ridiculously closeness they share and settled down with said girls. But right now, there is only one person Makoto could be thinking of to bring out that look of love and that’s Haru,” and admitting that kind of hurt but what else was new. Thinking of Haru, Makoto and Nagisa did have a habit of making Rin’s heart hurt.

 

“Speaking of Haruka-senpai,” said Gou, “I think he’s about to pull something.”

 

Sure enough, on cue Haru started stripping for a nearby fountain. “Haru!” screamed the flustered Makoto and ditching the set ran forward to stop his friend from doing something that was going to get him kicked out of the park.

 

“I swear he does it just to gain Makoto-senpai’s attention,” said Gou.

 

“Of course he does,” said an exasperated Rin before starting to wander off, “I am going to the restroom.”

 

“We’ll wait here!” called back Nitori. Rin was kind of relieved. He liked Nitori more or less but he would have been really creeped out if Nitori had suddenly decided he needed the restroom too.

 

* * *

 

Just as he got out, Rin got a text that the the director had called a short break so Hinamori could calm down and collect herself and Makoto could take Haru to the indoor wake-pool to calm him down. Rin texted back that he was going to walk around a bit and would meet-up with them later. Rin spent about ten minutes randomly walking around when he unexpectedly came across Makoto, alone, leaning against a tree. He looked exhausted.

 

Rin wasn’t sure what possessed him but he snuck-up behind Makoto and called his name softly. As soon as Makoto turned a bit, Rin leaned forward and pretty forcefully kissed Makoto on the lips. Makoto was too stunned to react at first but then quickly broke and kiss and demanded, “Rin! What was that for?” he wondered.

 

Rin blinked, no anger, just confusion, “Really Makoto, just a little anger would be nice.”

 

“Ha?”

 

“I just forced a kiss on you and all you are is confused? That’s just wrong!”

 

“I don’t get it,” replied Makoto honestly.

 

“Makoto, you are now part of the cut throat hyper sexual world of fashion. You really should be more on your guard and not let random people kiss you.”

 

“But you are not a random person,” Makoto pointed out.

 

“That doesn’t mean you can trust me. I mean, for all you know I dream of nothing but tying you up and raping you. You can’t really trust anyone Makoto. Not teammates, not teacher and certainly not coaches.”

 

“Teammates, teachers and Coaches?”

 

Shit, thought Rin. He had meant to just say the generic friends and family.

 

“Rin, did something happen?” asked Makoto gently, “I mean, your mind seems to be running along one very specific track. I mean, this is the second time you suggested I might become a rape victim and last time, you suggested I fit some sort of profile for a rape victim. What’s up?”

 

Rin turned away, and seemed to change the subject, “Where’s Haru?”

 

“At the wake pool,” replied Makoto, “I left him there with Nagisa, Rei and my sibling, Ren and Ran. I have to go back to the set. Hopefully Hinamori-chan will have settled down and we can wrap things up. Haru is pretty upset.”

 

“I would be too if my boyfriend was being clung to by a ditzy girl who couldn’t even remember simple lines,” replied Rin.

 

Makoto didn’t even bother pointing out Haru and he were not going out, Rin knew that perfectly well afterall, instead Makoto said, “Hinamori-chan is not a ditz. She’s a very nice girl who is just having a bad day.”

 

“Sure, sure,” said Rin, “By the way, hope that kiss I gave you wasn’t your first.”

 

“No,” replied Makoto, blushing slightly as he looked away.

 

“Let me guess, Haru.”

 

Makoto blushed more, “Everybody was talking about first kisses a lot in middle school and silly me started freaking out about it. Wondering if I would ever get to kiss anyone, wonder if I would mess-up. So one day Haru just kissed me and said, that now that we were each others first - I could stop thinking so much about it,” Makoto laughed, “Shortly after I started dating Zaki-chan, who ironically was probably the one girl I could have had my first kiss with without you know, embarrassing myself.”

 

“Zaki? You mean Yazaki Aki from our class and swimming club,” Makoto nodded, Rin was surprised, “Haru was okay with this.”

 

“Why wouldn’t he be?” wondered Makoto, “It was Zaki-chan. I mean, she loved us both, me and Haru but was with me because… well Haru’s Haru. But she understood our relationship and never got in the way. In fact it was the opposite, she rounded us off. It was nice.”

 

Now that Rin thought about it, Zaki was probably the only girl Makoto could date without Haru getting jealous or Haru could have dated without breaking Makoto’s heart. “Why did you guys break-up?”

 

“We had no choice,” replied Makoto, “Her father worked at the same company as Haru’s father and they were both transferred at the same time. Haru stayed, Zaki didn’t. I didn’t think it was fair to tie her down in a long distance relationship so we broke-up. I miss her sometimes.” admitted Makoto sheepishly.

 

“My first kiss was with a girl called Anne,” replied Rin, “When I got to Australia my english was good enough to be a understood but needed to be a lot better. One of the teachers jokingly suggested I get a Australian girlfriend so I can improve my english quickly. I took the suggestion seriously and first chance I got, I confessed to who I thought was the cutest girl in class. That was Anne. She had eyes like Haru’s but smiled like you and she was overflowing with energy just like Nagisa. She also swam breast like Nagisa and like you used to. I was genuinely in love with her.”

 

Rin sighed before continuing, “We were together for a long time for mere kids dabbling in their first love. But after… after I couldn’t beat Haru I… I focused so much on training that I didn’t have any time for her. Eventually we decided to break-up but before we did, we decided to be each others first time. I mean, we loved each other and so why not? After that, I didn’t have any proper relationships. I mean, I hooked-up a lot but it was mostly stress relief, occasionally it was fun and I actually cared about the person I was doing it with. Most of the time I didn’t even care who was under me or for that matter, what gender they were.” Rin stopped and wait for Makoto to say something.

 

Makoto didn’t but wordlessly encouraged Rin to keep going, keep talking and maybe finally, finally let his old friend back into his heart, “I was so focused on training, on improving and my distant goal of the olympics that at times seemed so, so unreachable that I didn’t notice… but we weren’t friends anymore… but we were teammate and I did still care about her…” Rin closed his eyes as his shoulders slumped, “About six months before I returned to Japan, Anne suddenly asked me to take her out on a date. To pretend for one night that we were still together, that we hadn’t broken-up over swimming.”

 

“I was surprised but I agreed. We had a good time and it really was like we had never broke-up. At the end of the night she kissed me and said that she wished it was real, the fact that we hadn’t broken-up and were still together. But that she understood that I had a dream that I had to run towards with all my might. She wished me good luck and told me she’ll be watching for me to not only get to the Olympics but win medals by the bucketload. It felt like farewell but I couldn’t bring myself to question her, she seemed so sad.” Rin sighed again, “Three days later, she killed herself.”

 

“Wait what!” cried Makoto, he was not expecting the story to take this turn.

 

“In her suicide note she talked about how she had been repeatedly raped by her breaststroke coach. But how nobody believed her. Not her parents, not the school and not even her teammates and friends. When she tried to go to the police directly, the school had threatened her… well… with me.”

 

“You?”

 

“Remember how I said I hooked-up a lot? That wasn’t exactly keeping with school or swim team policy. All the students had to sign a code of conduct that said we had to act morally all the time. Casual indiscriminate hook-ups aren’t exactly going to win you prizes for morality. The school turned the other cheek if you kept up your grades and kept winning medals and trophies but I wasn’t one of their stars. They could afford to sacrifice me.”

 

“But the people you did it with…”

 

“It was probably a hollow threat if you think about the collateral damage,” said Rin, “Alternatively, they could have sacrificed some mediocre swimmers to expel me and thus carry out their threat. Whatever the truth, Anne believed them and since she still cared about me, she kept silent until she just couldn’t.”

 

Rin laughed a hollow painful laugh, “Even at the end she didn’t name me by name, just said something like ‘the only person she still cared about’. I knew it was me because that’s what she had told me during our last date, that I was the only person she still cared about…”

 

“Makoto,” Rin gripped his shirt, near his heart as he continued, “If I don’t make it to the Olympics… it would all have been for nothing. My mother, my single mother is drowning in debt from paying for my schools, my training. By the time my grandmother died, she had already spent just on me the inheritance meant for both myself and Gou. Anne actually died trying to protect my dream and I…” still can’t move forward.

 

Rin took a deep breath and released it slowly, “Point is Makoto, you can’t trust anyone,” said Rin as he slowly turned to face Makoto, “You are an angel and you’ll be playing with devils. They will want to tear out your wings and rip away your halo if only for the hell of it. They won’t need any reason beyond that but if they wanted more reasons, I am sure they could find them. Jealousy, envy, lust…” Rin smirked, “I know because I am one of them.”

 

“You are not,” said Makoto firmly.

 

Rin laughed dismissively, “I think you are meant to be on set.”

 

Makoto yelped and checked his phone, sure enough there were texts demanding to know where he was. “I’ll see you later Rin!” Makoto called as he ran.

  
“Yeah,” said Rin. He stayed where he was for a few minutes to compose himself, before checking his own phone and heading to meet-up with Gou and the others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yazaki Aki or Zaki-chan is a character from High Speed! the prequel novel to Free! that is focused on the elementary school relay that keeps getting reference in Free! Zaki of course doesn’t appear in Free! but I think if she had, she would definitely have been a love interest for either Makoto, Haru or Rin. Most likely Haru who nearly drowned trying to retrieve her scarf and despite her white scarf becoming horribly discoloured, Zaki kept wearing it. So yeah, I am not making her up.


	5. Chapter 5

Yamagami Shiori was a manager of considerable talent, which was a good thing because her cold, calculating and manipulative nature did not make her friends. She liked making stars more than working with stars. The reason was simple enough. She hated dealing with the insufferable egos stars tended to develop as they become successful and tended to drop her charges as soon as they started acting like entitles divas. Yet Tanaka Lory had specifically requested her to be Makoto’s manager and the photographer Hayate Asami, who had the dubious title of being Shiori’s only friend, had agreed.

 

Shiori herself had been reluctant. She already had four other charges with two of them had just recently had a breakthrough and she was busy trying to help them build upon their successes. She had gathered from Asami that Makoto was not interested in modelling per say and so Shiori had concluded that Makoto was just in it for the money. Shiori had better things to do then work with a person who had no passion for the craft they were engaged in. However, Asami and Tanaka had insisted and finally her boss had just ordered her to work with Makoto, at least for the time being.

 

Having worked with Makoto for couple of months now, she was willing to admit she had been wrong. Very, very wrong. Makoto was too humble to realise the full extent of his own appeal and as a result, the fact that modelling might be a career option for him never occurred to him. However, now that he was modelling, he was taking his job seriously. At least, Shiori thought unamused, when he was actually taking jobs. If there was one thing Shiori hated about Makoto, it was how he refused to take his foot out of Iwatobi. He was still enrolled in Iwatobi High, still returned home after almost every job, even though he now had an apartment in Tokyo and there was Nanase Haruka. Just thinking of Haruka gave Shiori a headache. But at least Haruka was a good bargaining chip because unlike what Shiori had first assumed, Makoto wasn’t all the interested in the money.

 

O he liked the fact he was earning a lot more money than he was from his previous part-time jobs working at beach shacks, hauling fish back in Iwatobi and he spent what he earned generously on his friends and family, keeping for himself the bare minimum he needed to pay for his Tokyo apartment (a six tatami dump far, far, far below what Makoto could afford), Tokyo living expenses and this train tickets back and forth between Tokyo and Iwatobi. But what it did mean was that Shiori could not dangle large paychecks in front of Makoto to get him to take more jobs or specific jobs she thought he should take. Not if it meant Makoto would have to stay in Tokyo for more than a week at a time. Since Makoto wasn’t interested in the fame aspect of modelling either, Shiori was forced to use Makoto’s love for his friends and family, more specifically Nanase Haruka, to get him to dance to her tune.

 

Right now Shiori’s was using the soon to open Dubai underwater hotel to get Makoto to do his first catwalk show. Valentines day was coming-up and a bunch of designers and stores were doing valentines themes fashion shows all around Tokyo. It was a perfect venue to get Makoto some experience.

 

Shiori’s bait to Makoto was quite simple, it would be about a month and a half until the underwater hotel in Dubai would open. To celebrate, the hotel was going to put on some shows, including hold a fashion program to show off their event facilities. Some of the Japanese fashion houses were more than keen to make further inroads in the Dubai fashion scene and had eagerly signed-up for show slots. If Makoto could prove he could work the catwalk, Shiori would do her best to get booked to walk the catwalk in Dubai and he could take Haruka with him. Of course staying at the underwater hotel was out of the question but she would get them on a VIP tour of the place and Dubai did have beachs. Needless to say Makoto took the bait eagerly.

 

And so here they were, at the first rehearsals for the catwalk show for one of the larger Tokyo retail chains which sold both daywear and evening wear, including some edgy stuff generally meant for clubs and stuff. Thus the creative director had come-up with the concept “Angels and demons” for the show and was explaining it to the models.

 

“First will come the angels,” he was saying, “So you will all start off modelling the daywear, the kind of clothes you would wear to dates at an amusement park or to have coffee and other wholesome activities that your parents would totally approve of. Everybody will make one pass and then three of you, ah… Inoue, Kurosaki and Tachibana,” Makoto jumped at the mention of his name, “Will make the final daywear pass and during this pass, the accompanying girls will strip off their daywear on stage to reveal their edgy, sexy and unangelic clubwear and will push the angels off the catwalk, and that’s when the devils will appear and we’ll start the clubwear modelling run. Inoue, Kurosaki and Tachibana will not be included in the devils but they would have made two passes as angels so it’ll all be fair.”

 

“How do we exit the stage after we are thrown off the catwalk?” asked Inoue, “Just get-up and run back.”

 

“I was getting to that, you aren’t actually going to be allowed to fall on the floor you know,” the director pointed to three circular platforms at a slightly lower level than the catwalk, “You’ll be ‘pushed’ on to those platforms and are to remain there for the rest of the show watching the devils like guys who have been dumped. In this show, we are trying to communicate that being an angel is not enough! You need to also have a dark side to hold on to the girl!”

 

Shiori rolled her eyes but she supposed as a fashion show concept it could have been worse. They started the rehearsal and Shiori switched all her attention to Makoto. He had been given a crash course in catwalk modelling last weekend. He had done his best to absorb everything but he clearly also practiced in his own time because he was walking well. He also did a convincing job of falling when he was “pushed” away by his date and… dear god what the hell was Makoto thinking of!

 

Shiori blinked as the look on Makoto’s face fully registered. Inoue and Kurosaki wore looks of indignation and anger but not Makoto. He was still smiling but it was an absolute heartbreaking smile tinged with the sadness of rejection but at the sametime acceptance. Makoto was looking at the poor unfortunately girl who had, had to push him as if he was saying “its alright, I wasn’t good enough. So it’s alright, go on, be happy and…”

 

“I can’t do it!” cried the girl Makoto had been paired with, “The internet will roast me alive if I dump Tachibana-san.”

 

“What?” asked the irritated director, “What are you on about?”

 

“Look at his face,” the girl said, “Any girl who dumped a man for such flimsy excuse as not dark enough is already not a nice person. But at least if the man was angry or something, it would be… I don’t know better. But Tachibana-san is not angry! He’s, he’s… being supportive and encouraging! As if its somehow his fault that I am supposed to be a shallow idiot! I can’t do it! No one woman in her right mind would ever dump Tachibana-san,” Makoto blushed at the compliment but kept his silence as it was not his turn to speak.

 

“They would if they were into devils!” the director pointed out.

 

“Yes but then they wouldn’t date him in the first place,” the girl pointed out.

 

Director rubbed his forehead, “Tachibana-san can you please not um… give that look? Try and look angry or something.”

 

“But would an angel be angry?” wondered Makoto. Fair question, Shiori thought.

 

“Now that you mention it,” said Inoue, “Tachibana is right. I was just being myself and I would be angry if I got suddenly dumped like that for a crappy reason. But an angel or a person with good traits like an angel probably would be more understanding.”

 

The director huffed, “Just look sad! That’s enough for the purposes of the show,” they all agreed and the rehearsal resumed. Unfortunately, Makoto had decided to go for the sad kicked puppy look for the ‘just look sad’ instruction and this time the girl outright asked to be swapped out. It took awhile before a director could find a volunteer among the girls who was comfortable enough to ‘dump’ Makoto on stage.

 

“You are going to get eaten alive by his fangirls you know,” Shiori heard one of the girls tell Makoto’s new partner backstage.

 

“I know but at least they will be talking about me. That’s enough for now, ” she replied. Smart girl, thought Shiori.

 

She finally located Makoto, who was typing something on his phone, “Chatting with Haruka,” she guessed.

 

Makoto smiled, “Just letting Haru-chan know how today went.”

 

“Does he reply?” Nanase Haruka did not strike Shiori as someone who talked a lot, even via text.

 

“Not to every text,” admitted Makoto, actually Haru generally sent one email at the end of the day and it wasn’t particularly long but it never failed to make Makoto’s day, “But that’s okay. I feel better just letting Haru-chan know what’s happening.”

 

Shiori had nothing more to say on the topic of texting, “Let’s get going,” she said, “I’ll drop you at your apartment.”

 

“Thanks Shiori-san,” said Makoto with a smile.

 

They headed to Shiori’s car, “What were you thinking about?” Shiori asked, “When you made that face? I mean, I doubt you have ever been dumped.”

 

“Ah well, I have only had one girlfriend and we, ah, broke-up because we had to,” explained Makoto, “So I guess that doesn’t really count as being dumped. I mean, we both cried and wished we could be still together. But she was moving away and I had to let her go. I guess I was thinking of her a little,” admitted Makoto, “Having to let go of a person because it wasn’t fair to keep them caged out of your needs but I also thought of what it would be like if Haru-chan ever got sick of me. I worry about that a lot. Haru deciding he didn’t want me around,” Makoto got that look again, a look of sad resignation and acceptance, “I want Haru to be happy, always and if that means I have to leave his side and never show my face to him ever again… well…” Shiori was certain that the smile on Makoto’s face was the saddest thing she had ever seen.

 

Flipped out her phone and took a picture. “Hey!” protested Makoto.

 

“Needs to go in your portfolio,” said Shiori indifferently, “Well obviously my phone’s photo quality won’t be good enough. But next time we can book in some studio time with Asami to take some independent shots, we’ll try to recreate this face and get it properly captured. So this is a reference shot,” Shiori explained.

 

Makoto huffed. But he didn’t mind working on his portfolio because he usually did it with Haru. They had put one, a digital portfolio using the talent agencies special software and published through the agency for potential clients to browse, together some months ago but it had to be constantly updated as new shots were added to Makoto’s library. Makoto had a habit of just shoving everything in. Haru had a better eye for the whole thing, thinking about themes and grouping things together based on the themes. He was also good at leaving stuff out. Makoto sighed, he missed Haru.

 

* * *

 

You would think that as an introvert, Haru would handle his separation from Makoto better but he wasn’t. He missed Makoto constantly. Everyday he would get-up and check his phone to see if there was a text from Makoto telling him he was heading home. Haru had also gotten in the habit of carrying his phone and the habit of checking it frequently throughout the day. It usually had a message from Makoto.

 

_Heading to the first catwalk rehearsal. Wish me luck._

 

“Good luck,” this one Haru actually texted to Makoto, getting a smiley face in return.

 

_I am going to get dumped live on stage! The catwalk concept is angels and devils. I am an angel who is going to get dumped for a devil. I am supposed to be sad about it and so I thought of something really sad. But it upset the girl who was paired with me. :( I guess I should think of something less sad than Haru-chan leaving me forever._

 

“Idiot,” thought Haru, “As if that would ever happen.” Although Haru didn’t bother texting that.

 

_Catwalk show rehearsal just wrapped-up. Heading back to the apartment. Wish I was going home instead. I miss Haru-chan._

 

“Then come back already,” Haru thought but this too he didn’t text. Damn. Haru didn’t think he was capable of feeling lonely but there it was. He was lonely. The last text for the day Haru received from Makoto was just before bed. It read simply,

 

_Good night, Haru-chan. I miss you._

 

“Then come back already,” Haru couldn't hold back this time and ended up texting his desire.

 

_I will soon._

 

For Haru, it could not be soon enough. Haru sighed and reached for the printout Gou had given him. It had the instructions on taking part in the swim trials for the national team. Gou had already signed him up for the swim trials and was encouraging him to go and not pullout. She wanted Haru there chiefly because she thought it would motivate her brother to do his best, since Rin had a dark sort of obsession with Haru that he will never fully get over. But to Gou’s credit, she wasn’t just thinking of her brother and genuinely believed it would be good for Haru to just go and try.

 

Haru didn’t really care about making the National Team but he knew Makoto wouldn’t be able to return until after valentines day. That was two weeks away. If he went to the trials, he would have an excuse to be with Makoto, to crash at his apartment. Haru decided he was going to go. He would take the trials seriously of course. It would be an insult to the water if he entered it half-heartedly but he wouldn’t lie to himself. This time, being in the water was secondary to being with Makoto.

 

“I am coming to Tokyo,” he texted to Makoto, “I want to take part in the swim trials to get into the national team training program. Let me crash at your place,” Haru didn’t need the ecstatic reply to know Makoto would be delighted to have him.


	6. Chapter 6

When Gou told Rin that Haruka would also be going to the national team trials, Rin didn’t know how to react. Truth be told Rin was afraid, afraid that Haru who still trained half-assedly would go in and blitz his event and make it in while Rin himself, who had been working so hard wouldn’t be able to make it. But this feeling, this fear, these thoughts of inadequacy were nothing new and Rin had gotten good at literally running them off. So he was running, doing extra laps of the campus than usual to calm himself down, strengthening his legs to heighten the one advantage he had over Nanase Haruka, a strong kick. It also helped that Rin had decided to concentrate mainly on butterfly. 

Oh he would also be swimming the freestyle trials but they were going to be his secondary events. He just had to get into the training program afterall, once he got into the training program he would ask continue specialising in both butterfly and freestyle front crawl and see what the coaches said. But really, even excluding Haruka, with people like Mikoshiba around his chances of making the program through freestyle was very low. Whatever, butterfly was his stroke anyway.

He returned to the dorm of find Nitori reading something on his tablet while lying on his stomach in his bunk bed. “Welcome back, senpai,” Nitori said as way of greeting, “I was just reading Tachibana-san’s fan forums.”

“He has a fan forum? Already?” wondered Rin, “Also, how did YOU know about it?”

“It recently started and doesn’t have a lot of members,” explained Nitori, “Just twenty or so people but they seem very enthusiastic and post everything they can find about Tachibana-san. They even posted some of the photos from the prefecture and regional tournaments. That’s how I found them,” Nitori went on to explain, “I am helping maintain our clubs website and we have a ping-back bot enabled for when people link to us. We had some pictures up that had Tachibana-san in them and they posted them on their site. I saw the ping-backs and saw we were being linked to a site called ‘I love Mako-chan’, so I checked it out.”

Rin nodded, “Makoto’s doing well then,” he said, as he threw himself on his bed, feeling utterly exhausted.

“I don’t know much about idols so I can’t tell,” said Nitori, “But these girls seem to think Tachibana-san is doing well for a model who only made his debut a few months ago. They think he’ll explode soon and are rather proud that they are his first fans. I think one of the girls might be Tachibana-san’s classmate. She seems to know him, know him and posted a whole bunch of stuff about him and Nanase-san. Actually she said some pretty mean things about Nanase-san.”

“Haru?” Rin was surprised, “Why would anyone not like Haru? I mean, he doesn’t talk much and doesn’t suffer fools but he’s very kind hearted. Makoto’s not the only saint in that pair.”

“Well she thinks Nanase-san is gay for Tachibana-san,” said Nitori, “But she doesn’t think the feeling is mutual since Tachibana-san had a girlfriend in middle school. A pretty serious and long term girlfriend, according to her. She think Tachibana-san isn’t dating right now because he’s still hung-up on her and because Nanase-san hogs all his time and attention and so keep Tachibana-san from moving on and getting a new girlfriend.”

Rin snorted, “That girl is an idiot.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” said Nitori, “I mean, if Nanase-san is gay for anyone, it’s probably senpai!”

“Huh!”

Nitori had not meant to say that out loud, “I mean… I mean… senpai and Nanase-san has such an intense relationship and its a… it sort of a… looks like a plot of a BL manga!”

“How do you know what the plot of a BL manga looks like?”

“Ah… I… I read them sometimes…,” admitted Nitori, “Because they have good plots and stories sometimes! I specially like Senpai and Kohai stories!”

“Senpai and Kohai stories...” repeated Rin a tad suspiciously.

Nitori was mortified, he REALLY hadn’t meant to let that slip. “It’s not like I have a senpai I am in love with,” Nitori insisted loudly, rather happy that he was sitting on the top bunk and Rin was on the bottom bunk and thus could not see his cherry red face, “I just like the character dynamic of those types of stories! Because… because I have so many wonderful senpais that I could fall for… I mean if I was gay… which I am not!” he hastily added, “Not that I think there is anything wrong with being gay but I definitely like girls! Really!”

Rin sighed and decided to put Nitori out of his misery, “Nitori, enough,” he said, “You don’t have to justify yourself or your sexual preferences to me. You can be gay, straight whatever. Doesn’t bother me. But just in-case that was a weird-ass confession,” continued Rin as Nitori went still, “I’ll tell you this. I am not interested in relationships with anyone at the moment.”

“But… but would you date a… a man,” wondered Nitori and was greeted with silence from the bottom bunk, “Ah sorry senpai! That was a really personal question! Please forgive me for overstepping my bounds. I just got carried away because we were talking about BL and…” 

“I would date Makoto,” Rin replied honestly, “Hell I could probably see myself dating Haru too. Although he would be an absolute pain to have as a boyfriend with his bullshit water fetish! But honestly, they are the only ones,” said Rin, “I had a girlfriend whom I really loved. She… died.”

Nitori gasped at that but Rin ignored him and continued, “But everytime I think back at what we shared I get warm and fuzzy inside. I would like to feel that again. Makoto,” Rin let himself smile because he knew Nitori couldn’t see him, “Makoto is the only person I can think of who would make me feel warm and fuzzy inside if we were dating. Maybe Haru could too but I can’t be sure. Haru and I don’t always get each other and end-up hurting each other without meaning to. So yeah, I would turn gay for Makoto.” 

Rin didn’t bother mentioning that he had been with guys in Australia. Mostly because he hadn’t really see those encounters as “gay”, just as he hadn’t seen his encounters with girls (apart from Anne that is) as “straight”. They had simply been warm bodies that made him warm when he felt cold inside and out.

“Just… just Tachibana-san?” wondered Nitori, a little despondently.

“Just him,” Rin emphasised.

“Then you should go for him!” said Nitori, “I will do my best to support and cheer you on!”

Rin laughed, “Didn’t I say I wasn’t interested in a relationship at the moment? Swimming first Nitori, swimming first. Besides, trying to win Makoto’s heart would be a pain in the ass. A time consuming pain in the ass. Definitely something I don’t have time for.”

“But senpai if you wait…”

“Nitori, you misunderstand me,” said Rin, “I am not in love with Makoto at the moment. Just saying he is someone I can see myself be in love with. I am not in love with anyone at the moment. So it doesn’t bother me if Makoto ends up in a relationship by the time I get to a position when I am ready to start dating and stuff,” Rin explained, “Who knows, I might have found someone more warm and fuzzy then Makoto by that time.”

“I hope you do Senpai because I don’t want Senpai to be cold,” Nitori said sincerely. 

“You too Nitori, you too,” said Rin, having said and shared more than he had ever meant to, Rin let the conversation drop.


	7. Chapter 7

 

Makoto: I can't wait for you to get here Haru-chan. It’ll be a like a sleepover that lasts two weeks or maybe it’s more like camp. ^.^

 

Haru: I am bringing Mackerels and borrowing a sleeping bag from your parents.

 

Makoto: Ah! But I already bought a futon for Haru-chan! I am also going tomorrow with one of the girls from the talent agency to buy fresh mackerels for Haru.

 

Haru: Don’t do anything unnecessary. Especially with random girls.

 

Makoto: Are you jealous? ^.^

 

Haru: No

 

Makoto: ^.^ Megumi-san practices LOHAS. She’s going to help me buy fresh organic mackerels. She says it more delicious than ordinary mackerels. So I thought I would get some for you.

 

Makoto: I’ll grill some for you or would you rather have it cooked in miso?

 

Makoto: Haru-chan’s not responding.

 

Makoto: Let me guess, you are thinking “Makoto you idiot, mackerel is just mackerel”

 

Makoto: Haru-chan, I can’t keep reading your mind from this distance you know.

 

Haru: So I win!

 

Makoto: Lol, are we playing that game again? You still haven’t explained the rules to me.

 

Haru: You read my mind, I win if you fail or aren’t 100% accurate.

 

Makoto: Can I even win this game?

 

Haru: If you are losing it just means you are not paying enough attention to me!

 

Makoto: Lol, I suppose that's fair.

 

Haru: Did you contact Aki?

 

Makoto: Why would I contact Zaki-chan?

 

Haru: You miss her don’t you? And you are in Tokyo, she’s in Tokyo and…

 

Makoto: Are you trying to set me up?

 

Haru: No.

 

Makoto: Haru-chan...

 

Haru: I don’t want you to have regrets.

 

Makoto: I don’t have any regrets. Not about Zaki-chan. I miss her but not enough to drop into her life and see if she’s single and still has a soft spot for me.

 

Haru: Do you want a new girlfriend?

 

Makoto: Where are these questions coming from?

 

Haru: <sends link to fan forum post>

 

Makoto: Oh Haru-chan! I am so, so sorry! I am so sorry you got dragged into this and they said such mean things about you! Honestly, you are not the reason why I don’t have a girlfriend. I just don’t know any girls I want to date. If anything, I am the one holding Haru-chan back!

 

Haru: I don’t care what they say about me and I am happy with you.

 

Makoto: That makes me so happy! But how did you find that place?

 

Haru: Nagisa found it.

 

Makoto: So that’s who BigCutePenguin is? The one who is defending you and tearing that poor girl apart.

 

Haru: He seems to be enjoying himself.

 

Makoto: He seems to be quite the troll… I mean he seems to be just bashing the poor girl at this point. I should tell him to stop. She said some mean things about Haru-chan but I am sure he made her realise her mistake 20 posts ago.

 

Haru: I’ll tell him to stop.

 

Makoto: Thanks Haru-chan. I am looking forward to seeing you again.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Makoto met Haru at the train station late saturday night and that night Makoto cooked Haru some of the “organic” mackerel he had gotten,  while Haru had a bath.

 

“Sorry the bath tub isn’t very big,” Makoto said when haru came out with a towel wrapped around his waist. Contrary to popular believe he did not always wear his swim suit or always wear his swim suit in the bath. In fact, since he started swimming again, he wore his swimsuits in the bath less and less.

 

“It’s fine,” he said, as he went to his bags and started taking his sleeping clothes out.

 

Makoto set the table while Haru got dressed. They sat down to eat and discussed their schedule for the coming two weeks, “I have two shows tomorrow,” said Makoto, “Nothing big. Just something one of the bigger malls is putting on to entertain their customers and promote the cloths of the retailers. I do one at noon and another at 3PM, then I am free to do anything Haru-chan wants.”

 

Haru nodded, “Kou got me into a gym nearby for the two weeks. I can train and swim there leading-up to the the trails.”

 

“Great!” said Makoto, “I have a lot of shoots and other shows lined-up with the big one, the angels and devil show I was telling you about being schedule for the 11th. I have a few shoots after that but no shows. But I’ll definitely be able to come watch you swim on the 13th.”

 

“You don’t have to,” replied Haru, looking away slightly.

 

“I want to,” said Makoto smile that smile he usually only smiles at Haru but this time Haru returned the smile. Making Makoto’s heart jump and his smile bigger.

 

After dinner and the clean-up, they put away the table by resting it against the wall and laid out the futons side by side. They crawled in.

 

“I am cold,” complained Haru.

 

“I am sorry,” whispered Makoto, starting to get out, “I’ll turn the heater back… Haru?” Haru had simply crawled onto Makoto’s futon and under his quilt and then put his own quilt over both of them as he transferred his pillow so that it was mostly on makoto’s futon with the spillage being on Haru’s futon.

 

“It good like this,” he said through an yawn.

 

Makoto smiled, “Okay, Haru-chan,” he laid back down.

 

“I am glad Makoto doesn’t have a girlfriend,” Haru suddenly said.

 

“Huh? Why?”

 

“I would feel a little guilty if I did this while Makoto had a girlfriend,” Haru confessed.

 

“But why? We are childhood friends. We have slept like this lots of time. Plus not like we are about to do anything perverted,” Makoto pointed out, “We are just going to go to sleep.”

 

“A girl might still get jealous,” replied Haru.

 

“I wouldn’t date a girl who got jealous of something like this,” Makoto declared in a huff.

 

“Still,” said Haru, “I am glad I don’t have to share Makoto.”

 

Makoto smiled at that but only said, “Goodnight, Haru-chan.”

 

“Goodnight… Mako-chan,” Haru replied in a tone that he would normally use to say drop the -chan.

 

But Haru’s plan backfired because Makoto just laughed, “I feel like I am four again!”

 

“Idiot!”

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

“So what’s the progress on Tachibana Makoto, Yamagami-san?” asked Shiori’s boss.

 

“We have had good success so far,” Shiori started, “Tomorrow he will be walking in the angels and devils valentines show. After that we have a few more shoots but then he’s returning to Iwatobi for exams and to finish out the rest of his current school year. But he’s returning during spring break for more shoots and a few shows.”

 

“Is he transferring to Tokyo for his 3rd year? He should. This back and forth is limiting our potential to use him,” her boss pointed out.

 

“No but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. We don’t want him over exposed,” Shiori pointed out.

 

His boss made a noise that was semi-disapproving but didn’t say anything. Instead he turned on a video recording of Makoto that they had made to showcase his TV commercial potential.

 

“Hi, I am Tachibana Makoto,” Makoto was saying in the video with a huge smile plastered on his face, “I am 17 years old. I study at Iwatobi High and I am a member of the swim club. I have been swimming since I was about 8 years old. I really enjoy it. My best friend in all the world is a boy called Nanase Haruka. We have been friends for as long as I can remember. He is a swimming prodigy. I am not a prodigy though. In fact, I am a little afraid of the water but especially of the ocean,” his face and smile took on a achingly vulnerable quality, “That’s why I swim the backstroke, its good for people who are afraid of the water.”

 

Cheering back-up, “I don’t have any special talents but I can sing a little and play the guitar. I enjoy music very much and its one my best subject along with maths. But then maths and music are related so that makes sense. But my absolute best subject is Japanese Language.”

 

Someone off camera asked Makoto to sing something. Makoto looked embarrassed and protests he’s not that good but after a little pressing says, “Well I wrote a song for our middle school talent contest. I guess I can sing that. Since I wrote it, I won’t be insulting anyone by singing it badly,” he said with an apologetic smile. Then taking a deep breath he started,

 

Kokoro wo saa / ashita he tsunagu you ni

Egaite motto motto / jiyuu na jounetsu de

Oretachi nara / dokomademo ikeru

Shinjite mezashite susundeku / sorezore no sutorooku

 

Kitto shizen na nariyuki de

Dakedo, kou nareba ii na to omotta yo

Minna to tsukutta kono basho ha

Dare hitori kaketa tte nanika chigatteta ne

 

Shiori’s boss paused the video and leaned back on his chair, “How is someone this ridiculously talented, this ridiculously unaware of his own talents?”

 

“I think he knows at some level,” said Shiori, “Nor else he wouldn’t have mentioned he could sing but the humility is genuine. Makoto meant it when he said he choose to sing one of his own songs because he wouldn’t insult anyone by butchering their song. But probably because we unexpectedly asked him to sing. If we gave him time to prepare, I think he would have sang whatever we gave him.”

 

The boss nodded and unpaused and video. Listening to the rest of the song. When Makoto finished the off screen voice asked him if he won the talent contest back in Middle school, “I did with Haru-chan,” he said with a big smile, “I was going to sing alone because Haru-chan didn’t want to take part but I really wanted to win the playstation 3 for my siblings. But then Haru-chan agreed to do a duet with me and we ended-up singing a different song and winning!”

 

“I was really glad,” Makoto continued, “I don’t think I would have won without Haru-chan.”

 

Shiori’s boss paused his video again, “This Haru-chan…”

 

“Annoying obstacle or good leverage,” said Shiori, “He tends to oscillate between the two on a daily bases.”

 

“Not what I was going to ask,” replied the boss, “I mean, are they… involved?”

 

“Absolutely not!” said Shiori a little annoyed, “They are just best friends.”

 

“Oh good,” said the boss, “We want the fangirls to think they have a chance with 'Mako-chan'. Do let Tachibana know we prefer he NOT be dating at the moment and if he absolutely has to date someone, girl or boy doesn’t really matter, he has to be super discreet!”

 

“I’ll let him know but I don’t think there is any danger of him dating,” said Shiori, “He’s… too picky,” but then she thought for a moment, “Although I am yet to meet Mr Shark-teeth so maybe I shouldn’t get too ahead of myself. ”

 

“Mr Shark-teeth?”

 

“I can’t remember his name or if I was even told his name, just that Asami said he had shark like teeth,” explained Shiori, “He punched Tanaka when Tanaka came on too strongly with Makoto during their first meeting and then came with Makoto to Asami’s studio. But I have never met him. Not even during the amusement park shoot - during which I pretty much got to meet almost everybody important to Makoto.”

 

Her boss did not look happy, “Find out who this shark-teeth person is and if he’s something we have to manage. Tachibana could be big and very profitable for our agency. I don’t want to be blindsided by anything. New talent, Yamagami-san, new talent is like a fragile bud that can be easily trampled on.”

 

Shiori nodded in agreement, like she always did when her boss brought-up the “new-talent is like fragile flower” analogy. They turned to the other talents under Shiori’s charge.

 

 

* * *

 

 

At about the time Shiori was meeting with her boss. Mr Shark-teeth aka Matsuoka Rin found himself staring-up at a billboard showing Makoto pulling on a clean white shirt while walking. It was supposed to advertise a body spray but it took Rin full 5 minutes to tear his eyes away from Makoto and pay attention to the rest of the billboard to pick-up on that.

 

Rin swore under his breath as he finally turned away and headed to the restaurant that had been recommended to him, “Yep,” he found himself thinking, “If I had the time to be dating, I would definitely turn gay for Makoto.”


	8. Chapter 8

_I know you are busy with swim trials but if you have some time I have a big fashion show on the 11th. Haru will be there. Three of us could go for dinner after, maybe?_

 

It was the 10th and Rin had just finished his butterfly trials. He won his heat, as well as his quarterfinals and semifinals but only managed to come second after the current national high school butterfly champion. Rin had not competed in the butterfly during the last high school tournament, obsessed as he had been with beating Haru in the 100m freestyle. So he had not gone head to head with the 3rd year before. Rin knew he was good but still losing stung.

 

However, 2nd was still good enough to move on to the next round and the next round was extensive round of medicals, which included both a physical and a psychic evaluation. There would also be interviews to gauge his level of commitment and other things. Currently the “other things” part was worrying Rin because apparently the national team was concerned about burn-out, having lost a couple of promising athletes, on whom a lot of time and money had been spent, in the past year to burn-out. So they wanted new athletes who were going to be accepted into the program to have a bit more “balance”.

 

At least that’s what Rin had heard from Mikoshiba who had gentle pointed out to Rin on the train from Iwatobi that Rin’s life was basically school, swimming and more swimming with little outside interest and that might not go down too well this year. Rin had protested that he could chill with the best of them and wind down with friends all the time. Mikoshiba had challenged him to name one instance of when Rin was “chilling”, Rin mentioned the day at the amusement park with Nitori, Gou and Gou’s friends. Mikoshiba was incredulous and being Mikoshiba had actually called Nitori then and there to confirm. Rin had been annoyed but at the sametime grateful that he had not been pressed to name a second day of fun because Rin didn’t have one.

 

What would happen if the Swim team management actually did press him to name some interests outside of swimming? Rin signed and texted back, “I’ll be there. I am dropping out of the Freestyle trials anyway. So after a few administrative stuff tomorrow, I am done.”

 

There, now he could honestly answer the damn management that he hung-out with friends in totally non-swimming related places like fashion shows with a straight face and even give a specific example to convince them that he wasn’t lying and just telling them what they wanted to hear. He would also mention his love of reading and watching english movies and surely that was more than enough?

 

As these thoughts swirled his Rin’s head, he received a reply from Makoto, _Congratulations! That was from both me and Haru. See you tomorrow!_

 

“How did you know I did well?” Rin texted back.

 

 _You dropped out of the freestyles and have admin stuff to do. Haru told me the process. You wouldn’t have to do admin stuff if you hadn’t done well._ Makoto replied back.

 

Right, it was a straightforward deduction when Rin thought about it. “I am not in yet. Management still have to approve me but I am a step closer,” Rin replied back.

 

_You’ll get in!_

 

For some inexplicable reason. That simple reply made Rin really, really happy. “A crap,” he found himself thinking as he tossed his phone away, “This is so not a good development,” he rolled over and buried his face in his pillow. But the happy feeling refused to go away. Well, at least he was no longer stressed and nervous.

 

* * *

 

“Absolutely no stripping and jumping into the fountains,” Shiori warned Haru as they got closer to the show venue. Haru rolled his eyes as Makoto sniggered.

 

“I mean it!” said Shiori, “I bought handcuffs!”

 

“Handcuffs?” asked Makoto suddenly alarmed.

 

“Yes handcuffs,” said Shiori, “I am fully prepared to handcuff Nanase-kun to the nearest fixed railing if he does not behave!”

 

“Please don’t do that,” begged Makoto, “Haru will be good, won’t you Haru?”

 

“Depends,” replied Haru, deadpan.

 

“On what?” wondered Makoto, getting slightly alarmed.

 

“On how pretty the fountains are,” answered Haru with a mischievous grin.

 

“Haru!” whined Makoto. But Haru only smiled as Shiori seriously contemplated using the handcuff.

 

Rin was waiting for them at the venue. One look at his teeth and Shiori figured out Rin was Mr Shark Teeth. She immediately started to observe him closely but he just seemed like a mutual friend and so she relaxed. Rin was not an issue that needed managed. At least at this stage.

 

“You have an hour or so before you have to go backstage,” Shiori told Makoto, “Enjoy yourself but don’t wander too far and keep your phone close.”

 

* * *

 

Rin was worried that things between the three of them would be awkward. He underestimated Makoto’s power of conversation and Haru’s power of silence. They got drinks, which Makoto insisted on paying for. Found a fountain they could sit near. Haru gently played with the water as Makoto asked Rin about his trial experience. Rin described his results briefly and talked a bit about the interviews he had, had that morning.

 

“You may want to dial down the water fetish for the interviews, Haru,” Rin advised Haru, “I am not sure how, ‘I just want to feel the water’ would go down with management.”

 

Haru gave Rin a look that Rin couldn’t begin to fathom. So Makoto translated, “Haru-chan wouldn’t want to swim for people who didn’t understand his love of water.”

 

“I suppose its not a big deal for you,” conceded Rin, “Actually, come to think of it. The fact that dreams of olympic glory don’t get you up in the morning is likely to be a bigger hindrance for you. If I was sitting in the panel judging your fitness for the National Team, I would seriously worry about your motivation.”

 

Haru shrugged. “I don’t think it really matters to Haru,” Makoto elaborated on the shrug, “I think Haru just wants to see how far he can go. But that’s a kind of motivation too, isn’t it?” adding his own thoughts, “I mean, a medal is a nice concrete goal but there is something to be said about a more abstract goal of ‘doing my best’. At least that’s what I think.”

 

This time Rin shrugged dismissively before segwaying, “You know, Haru, I always wanted to know, what the hell would you do on dates? You can’t take Makoto with you to translate for you.”

 

“I talk,” Haru mildly protested, “Besides, isn’t listening more important on dates?”

 

“First date maybe,” said Rin, “But even then you are supposed to get to know each other. But if only the girl talks, she’s not going to learn anything about you.”

 

“I wouldn’t date a stranger,” replied Haru.

 

“Even if you dated a friend you would still have to learn to connect as a couple,” Rin pointed out, “Besides, you aren’t friends with any girls besides Gou and you can’t date Gou,” Rin informed him, “My sister is off-limits!”

 

“You should worry about Mikoshiba and Nagisa more than,” replied Haru indifferently.

 

“Huh? Nagisa???”

 

Makoto laughed, “They can be cutely in-sync,” admitted Makoto, “But I don’t think its romantic. They are both just very enthusiastic and so are first to agree and react to each others suggestions. But we all get pulled along by their overflowing energies.”

 

“Nagisa doesn’t have enough muscles for her anyway,” Rin commented, “Seriously though, Haru,” Rin said as he returned to teasing Haru, “What are you going to do once you start dating?” Haru choose not to answer.

 

Rin turned to Makoto, “Eh…” Makoto stared at Haru for sometime before venturing, “Haru’s not interested in dating anyone…” offered Makoto slightly hesitantly.

 

“Like not now or like never?” wondered Rin, “I mean you aren’t seriously going to spend your life like one of those loner shut-ins are you?”

 

This time Haru looked straight at him and said, “I have Makoto.”

 

“Haru-chan…” whispered Makoto, smiling sweetly as Rin felt a small stab in his heart, “That makes me so happy! But…”

 

“So its official thing,” wondered Rin, talking to distract himself and maybe make the pain subside, “You two are going to start dating and move in together and spend the rest of your life together and shit like that?”

 

Makoto sighed, “I don’t think that’s what Haru-chan meant,” Haru flinched ever so slightly, which Makoto would have normally noticed but didn’t on account of being preoccupied talking to Rin, “Well not exactly anyway. I mean, I want to be best friends with Haru until I die and I hate living in Tokyo while Haru is in Iwatobi. I am just too used to having Haru-chan live near enough to… look out my window and see his house at least. It would be great if we could always be together.”

 

Both Rin and Haru stared at Makoto trying to decipher what he meant exactly because they both felt as if Makoto was on a totally different wavelength. “Wh… what?” wondered Makoto, “Did I say something wrong?”

 

Haru sighed, “You really are a wishy-washy guy, you know that Makoto.”

 

“Eh?”

 

“Seriously,” agreed Rin, “You could and totally do make people unconsciously fall in love with you and just as unconsciously break their hearts.”

 

“Eeeh?”

 

“But it doesn’t matter for now, I suppose,” said Rin, feeling happy again upon concluding that Makoto was not in-love with Haru and thus fair game… if Rin was interested in dating, which he totally wasn’t at the moment.

 

“Just don’t remain wishy-washy forever,” added Haru, deciding he was okay for the moment to let Makoto be surprisingly dense and imperceptive of Haru’s feelings, “Or else you’ll always get dumped for mackerels.”

 

Before either Rin or Makoto could comment, Makoto’s alarm went off and he excused himself to head backstage. Wanting to be where he was supposed to be at least 5 minutes early. Leaving Rin and Haru in a somewhat awkward silence.

 

After a moment, Haru broke the silence with a smile and said, “I am glad we are friends again.”

 

Rin let out a sigh and smiled back slightly, “Yeah well, the night’s just starting. Wait until after Makoto’s show and dinner before deciding us being all friendly is a good thing. But,” Rin added with a smile of his own, “So far, I am glad I came.”

 

They made their way towards the stage and found their place. Soon after they were joined by Shiori looking somewhat concerned.

 

Haru looked at her questioningly while Rin straight-up asked, “Everything okay?”

 

“Yes and no,” she replied, “I missed the dress rehearsal yesterday,” she explained, “So I did not know where they were going to place the cameras for the webcast or, for that matter, the final walk pattern.”

 

“Oh?” prompted Rin since so far Shiori had explained nothing.

 

“You’ll see soon enough,” said Shiori, “Just watch…” as she said that the music started and the show began.


	9. Chapter 9

Back in Iwatobi, Nagisa, Rei and Gou gathered in Nagisa’s house to watch the webcast of Makoto’s fashion show. They had decided to make a night of it with pizza, popcorn and lots and lots of strawberry shortcakes.

 

“It’s really amazing to think how far Makoto-senpai has gone in such a short time,” comment Rei.

 

“It’s also very sad,” Nagisa piped in, “I don’t like seeing Haru-chan sad and he would be sad if Mako-chan went away for good.”

 

“I don’t think Makoto-senpai would leave Haruka-senpai behind,” protested Gou.

 

“Although if he did I would have Haru-chan all to myself!” said Nagisa enthusiastically but then quickly deflated, “A sad, lonely Haru-chan who wouldn’t be very Haru-chan,” suddenly Nagisa got determine and declared, “If Mako-chan hurts Haru-chan, I’ll never forgive Mako-chan and avenge Haru-chan by destroying Mako-chan’s reputations as BigCutePenguin!!!!”

 

“Destroy his reputation with what?” wondered Rei, “Stories of his overwhelming kindness?”

 

Nagisa pulled a face, “I could spread rumours about how he’s a scaredy cat.”

 

“Wouldn’t that just make him more adorable?” wondered Gou, “Like a big cuddly cute dog that’s afraid of loud noises? Plus it’s not like he’s not brave. He might be afraid of ghosts and stuff but if his friends and family were in trouble or danger, he would totally jump in and protect them.”

 

Nagisa pouted as Rei pointed out, “He did jump in and try to save me back during camp. Even though he’s afraid of the ocean.”

 

Nagisa was deflated for less than a minutes before his energy returned with a vengeance, “Well BigCutePenguin will find dirt on Mako-chan for Haru-chan’s sake!”

 

“I am surprised you weren’t banned from Makoto-senpai’s fan forums after the prolonged trolling you engaged in,” commented Rei.

 

“I was banned, I appealed!” explained Nagisa with a mischievous grin, “With cute pictures of Mako-chan from the swim club.”

 

“That’s just wrong,” Rei opined.

 

“Oh!” exclaimed Gou, “It’s starting!”

 

The show started with upbeat totally sugary sweet pop music as the stage was flooded with simulated sunlight as beautiful girls and boys walked the catwalk holding hands and looking like happy couples out for a strolled.

 

“Oh! There is Mako-chan!” cried Nagisa, “He looks good!” Indeed he did in stylish casual day wear holding hands with a happy smiling girl, his face was half turned towards her and half turned towards the audience and the camera but still managed to look as if he was giving all his attention to her, “I hope this is not upsetting Haru-chan!”

 

“Haruka-senpai is not that petty,” replied Rei exasperated, “I mean, he likes to mess with Makoto-senpai but he wouldn’t actually do anything to seriously sabotage Makoto-senpai’s work.”

 

“He did strip and create a minor scene during the amusement park commercial shoot,” Gou pointed out.

 

“Makoto-senpai’s manager, Yamagami-san, okayed that!” Rei revealed.

 

“Huh?”

 

“She was getting annoyed with Hinamori-chan’s antics and told Haru-chan that if he felt like making a scene she wasn’t going to complain this time,” Nagisa piped in. “So Haru-chan did. Before he was just going to take-off and let Mako-chan finish-up,” he paused and added, “Yamagami-san is kind of scary.”

 

“But at least she has Makoto-senpai’s back,” said Rei, “Sort of… as long as he remains handsome, healthy and model quality at least.”

 

“Oh Mako-chan is back!” and he was, in another smart casual day wear but this time the girl was wearing a trenchcoat of sorts and then, she suddenly whirled on Makoto and pushed him off the catwalk on a small platform directly facing the camera and the majority of the life audience, “Wha… what is she doing?” wondered Nagisa.

 

The girl’s face took on a fierce look as she artfully stripped out of her trench coat and tossed it at Makoto’s feet, revealing a skimpy clubwear in which she struck a sexy, confident pose as a guy also dressed in clubwear came-up and claimed her and they strutted down the catwalk and off again. But Nagisa, Rei and Gou were not watching her or her new partner. Their gaze was glued on to Makoto’s face, Makoto’s sad but understanding face and watched riveted as his hand seemingly unconsciously went to the discarded trench coat and caressed it…

 

“That’s… that’s so sweet!” exclaimed Gou, “He misses her!”

 

“I don’t like that girl,” said Nagisa, “How dare she dump Mako-chan.”

 

“You guys are taking this show entirely too seriously,” declared Rei.

 

“Rei-chan is so cold! I mean, look! Look at Mako-chan’s face! It’s making my heart hurt,” Nagisa said in a mockingly sad voice.

 

Rei rolled his eyes, “Still,” he added, “That was not beautiful.”

 

* * *

 

Back in Tokyo, “What the fuck,” said Rin, “What moron thought this was a good idea? I mean, I don’t particularly want to buy any of these cloths if it’ll attract shallow girls like that chick.”

 

Haru nodded in agreement, “Makoto said there was going to be three people getting ‘dumped on stage’, so how come only he was dumped?”

 

Shiori replied grimly, “The creative director decided, quite accurately, that having three male models sit on their asses for the entire second half of the show was just a waste and decided to only have Makoto be dumped since Makoto looked weird in the club wear they wanted to showcase,” she explained.

 

“Too masculine?” Rin guessed, eyeing the cloths the male models were wearing in mild disgust, “I guess Haru might look good in these. I would look ridiculous, my muscles would just bulge out and not in a good way.”

 

“Pretty much,” admitted Shiori, “On the upside, Makoto is spotlighted, on the downside, MAKOTO is spotlighted.”

 

“I don’t understand,” commented Rin.

 

“Models are supposed to show off the cloths they are supposed to be promoting. They aren’t necessarily supposed to attract attention to themselves in a way that detracts from the cloths,” Shiori pointed out, “Right now, a significant amount of attention is on Makoto and due to the terribly shortsighted concept, a lot of people are feeling like you are Matsuoka-san. So right now, Makoto is a detrimental distraction to the show. That said,” added Shiori, “He is following the script he was given and it is not his fault the show’s concept was flawed from the start. Plus he’s doing a great job selling that trench coat. Still...”

 

“This could hurt Makoto?” wondered Haru.

 

“You should almost happy,” Shiori accused.

 

“I am not,” protested Haru, adding, “I miss our normal lives but I don’t want Makoto to get hurt.”

 

“This is a double edged sword,” replied Shiori, “We’ll have to wait to see how it cuts.”

 

* * *

 

Things were a bit tense backstage when Shiori went to collected Makoto. The director was seething and really, really wanted to take his disappointment out on someone. Preferably Makoto since it was clearly all his fault. But the director was rather afraid of Shiori, who had plainly called him an idiot before the show and more or less accurately predicted the topic that would dominate the show’s hashtag on twitter during the second half of the show.

 

Sure enough, people live tweeting the show could only talk about Makoto during the “devil” portion of the show. On the upside, the trench coat that Makoto had so sadly caressed was totally sold out, with girls tweeting things like “I am going to wear it and imagine Mako-chan is caressing me!” or “Just managed to get my order in. Such a sweet coat, just like Mako-chan!” or “I had that coat from before but now I’ll always think of Mako-chan when I wear it.”

 

Plus deep down the director knew he was the one who had messed-up and so resorted to silently glare at Makoto. Who was looking downcast and apologetic. Shiori rolled her eyes and told Makoto to go have fun with his friends, “Do you need me to drop you back to your apartment?” she asked.

 

“No, no, we’ll take the train,” replied Makoto and with that Makoto went to find Haru and Rin. But Shiori lingered to have a word or two with the director.

 

* * *

 

“It’s not your fault,” Rin assured him as they ate ramen, “The concept was stupid.”

 

Haru nodded, “I wouldn’t buy any of those cloths.”

 

“You don’t date and I bet you have never been in a club,” Rin pointed out, “You are not the intended audience.”

 

“We went to a club once,” said Haru.

 

“Please don’t bring that up,” protested Makoto.

 

“What happened?” asked Rin.

 

“Nagisa said a cool new dance club opened couple of town over,” said Makoto, “And wanted us to sneak in. Haru agreed because supposedly being in the club made you feel like you were underwater due to the lighting. That part turned out to be true but what Nagisa hadn’t told us was that it was a weird S&M dance club or something. There were half naked men wearing strange S&M themed leather cloths with gas masks! They kept coming on to me,” Makoto added looking traumatised.

 

Rin howled with laughter, “Remind me never to take Nagisa’s advice on anything.”

 

“The lighting was still cool though,” commented Haru quietly.

 

“When are you returning to Samezuka?” Makoto asked Rin.

 

“Tomorrow afternoon. You guys?”

 

“I have some photo shoots scheduled for tomorrow but then I am done. So I get to watch Haru-chan swim on the 13th,” said Makoto, with a soft smile, “Hopefully Haru-chan will be called for medicals and interview. But whichever way, we should be heading back on the 14th. Just a matter of how late or early the train we take is.”

 

“What happens if you get in?” asked Haru, realising he didn’t actually know what getting into the national teams training program meant.

 

“I can stay enrolled in Samezuka and take part in their distance education program,” said Rin, “But I would move into a dorm here and start training with the national team if I got in. Goal would be to secure a spot on the representative team for the Asian games. But our medal winning senpais from the last games are still with us. So it’ll be an uphill battle.”

 

“For what its worth, I’ll be cheering for you!” said Makoto with a sweet smile.

 

“Thanks,” Rin replied, trying not to betray how much it meant to him. Haru was caught-up in his own thoughts, but he opted not to voice them and more or less left the conversation to be carried on by Makoto and Rin.

 

Makoto ended-up paying for dinner too, which resulted in Rin insisting they get dessert at the train station and that he treat the other two too. Haru protested and they ended-up going halves on Makoto’s cake, while paying for their own deserts themselves. As they parted to catch different trains Rin commented, “This was fun. Thanks for inviting me.”

 

“Thanks for coming,” Makoto said but Rin knew he was speaking for both himself and Haru because they were a pair and they approached the world as one more often than not.

  
Rin smiled and did not let depressing thoughts of how Haru and Makoto could not be easily broken-up cloud his mind. With swimming taking-up his time and being an uphill battle, he couldn’t also take on the challenge of Makoto. So it didn’t matter how hard he was falling for Makoto, it was a mute point. Still, he wanted to hangout again with both Makoto and Haru, and that was enough for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically the club Makoto was describing is the club from the ending music video, which does have some strange people dancing in the background.


	10. Chapter 10

“Are you upset about what happened at the show still?” asked Haru, later that night when they were in bed.

 

He was lying on his side on his own futon, watching Makoto who had his back to Haru. Makoto never slept on his side. Ever. So it was obvious to Haru that Makoto was anything but asleep.

 

“I… I am sorry I inconvienced people,” replied Makoto, “And I am especially sorry that I won’t be able to take Haru-chan to Dubai.”

 

“Dubai?” Haru wondered.

 

“Ah… sorry, I hadn’t mentioned anything before had I?” whispered Makoto, still not turning to face Haru, “Shiori-san said that if I did a good job she would try and get me a job in Dubai. It was a long shot and so I didn’t want to say anything. But as I tried to do my best, I got kind of excited. It’s kind of stupid and embarrassing when I think about it,” he said with an awkward self deprecating laugh, “I mean, even if I got the job and asked you to come with me, you might not have wanted to, or just not able to come. But still, I dreamt of seeing Haru-chan swimming in a new sea, of taking Haru to see the Dubai underwater hotel and maybe plan how one day we might come back there and get to stay in the hotel. I bet staying in one of those rooms would be like living underwater!” he paused and added softly, “I really wanted to see what kind of face Haru would make in one of those rooms.”

 

“Makoto… do you remember that orca plushie you had in Kindergarten?” asked Haru suddenly.

 

“Ah? Ori-chan? Sure I do. Ran claimed Ori-chan for herself but poor Ori-chan didn’t survive long with her. Ran and Ren can be rough on toys,” Makoto said with a small laugh. Haru though he detected a note of sadness. It made sense, Makoto was remarkable attached to things and though the practical side of him knew nothing lasts forever, he never let go of anything without a struggle.

 

Haru left his futon and crawled in with Makoto, “Haru-chan?” wondered Makoto, unused to this amount of physical affection from Haru.

 

“Do you remember what I said to you when you offered me Ori-chan to play with?” Haru asked.

 

Makoto had to think for a moment because he couldn’t recall off hand what Haru was talking about but eventually he remembered a vague memory of tears and bullies and Haru protecting him in his own way and soothing Makoto’s tears in a way only Haru ever could, “You would rather play with me,” Makoto repeated what Haru had told him all those years ago.

 

“That’s also true of the beaches of Dubai, underwater hotels and everything like that,” whispered Haru, “I won’t lie and say those things don’t interest me. They do but I rather have Makoto.”

 

“Haru…” before Makoto could continue his phone rang and shattered the peace of the room.

 

Both Haru and Makoto jumped. Instinctively Makoto reach for it, “It’s Shiori-san,” explained Makoto as he answered, “Shiori-san, what’s the matter?” wondering what disaster had befalling for Shiori to be calling him at 11 PM.

 

“Are you a virgin?” she asked.

 

“Eh?”

 

“Have you kissed someone? Can you look like sex on two legs?” demanded Shiori impatiently, “It’s late, Makoto, so just answer the questions.”

 

His face burning bright and very mindful of Haru next to him, Makoto whispered, “I had a girlfriend remember Shiori-san. So… um… no to your first question and yes to your second and no idea to your third question,” what on earth did sex on two legs even mean? Did it mean sexy? So… did she mean Makoto had to pretend to be like someone like… Rin?

 

“That’s good enough I guess,” she replied, “I am texting you a hotel location. But a car is being dispatched to pick you up but if it isn’t there within 15 minutes, catch a taxi. Don’t worry if you don’t have the money for the taxi, the company will pay for it and so I’ll meet you at the hotel entrance to settle the charge.”

 

Makoto’s head was spinning. He was tired, he wanted to sleep. It was cold. He didn’t want to leave his bed, specially now that Haru was sharing it and making it even warmer and more comfortable. Especially for something that sounded like, “Is this a porn shoot?” Makoto blurted out.

 

Shiori huffed, “Don’t be ridiculous!” and hung-up.

 

“Makoto?” asked Haru, his name layered with multiple unspoken questions.

 

“Haru-chan,” whispered Makoto, “I am sorry but I have to go out again. They are sending a car. It seems I have another shoot.”

 

“It’s 11 PM and why did you mention porn?” wondered Haru getting-up.

 

“It… nothing,” whispered Makoto, “Please go to sleep Haru-chan. You only have a day before your trials. You need your rest.”

 

“Makoto…” don’t go anywhere. Stay with me but if you can’t, I’ll go with you. Haru wanted to say all that but at the same time didn’t want to say any of that. He didn’t want to hold Makoto back. He didn’t want to make Makoto feel guilty. He didn’t want to lose Makoto. He hated this! Why the hell couldn’t Rin punch that damn talent scout hard enough to make him lose consciousness? Why did Rin go with Makoto for those test shots? Why was Makoto so gorgeous? It was all so… unfair! “You are not allowed to do porn!” Haru said finally.

 

“Eh! I would never…” started Makoto.

 

“Or do nude shots! Not even your your back!” declared Haru.

 

“I wasn’t going…”

 

“I mean it Makoto! You are absolutely not allowed to do those things!” Haru all but commanded.

 

Makoto breathed in deeply and let it out slowly, then he smiled, “I won’t do anything Haru-chan doesn’t want me to. Besides,” he said with a laugh, “I want my parents and siblings to be able to see everything I do. So that pretty much rules out porn and nudes, even the artistic kind. It would be too embarrassing!”

 

“Good!” declared Haru as he went back to his own futon and pulled the cover all the way over his head.

 

Makoto dragged himself out of bed and started to get ready, “Good thing I am a teenage boy who is full of energy,” thought Makoto.

 

The car came and driver, who looked exhausted and put-upon filled Makoto in on the nightmare shoot he was about to walk into. “It’s supposed to be a simple shoot for a perfume!” explained the drive, “It’s from a big European fashion house. So they flew in an actress from hollywood and wanted her paired with a Japanese actor. But the actress they got has a bad attitude and she was six hours late to the shoot. The Japanese actor they had, had to leave after four hours because he had other commitments but the actress is flying out tomorrow. So they called-up a bunch of up and coming models, actors, singers, whoever they thought was handsome and would look good next to the actress and would accept a last minute job because most established talents worth having would either be booked or reluctant to accept something on this short a notice. At least with a new talent, they can offer publicity for the talent and claim that they are highlighting up and coming Japanese stars as extra goodwill and publicity.” explained the driver.

 

“But the director is demanding and is set on capturing the essence of seduction, whatever that mean, because the perfume is called seduction. He can’t fire the actress so he’s been cycling through the males. You are the 10th person I have picked-up today,” said the driver, in an utterly exhausted tone, “I hope you know what the essence of seduction is because I am tired and would like to go home.”

 

Makoto gulped. Essence of seduction? Makoto had not the foggiest clue. Although Shiori’s questions suddenly made more sense. If he was a virgin or someone who had never even kissed anyone, he really would be out of his depths when it came to the essence of seduction. Although Makoto had never had to seduce anyone. Zaki had confessed to him and they had been friends for years before they got together. It was… it wasn’t a seduction but friendship turning into something else or so Makoto had always thought.

 

Besides which, Zaki had been beautiful and earthly. His love life with Zaki had been sweet and grounded. It was always slow and… sensual might be the word that applied to how he and Zaki had made love. But surely that’s not what was being asked for now. What had Shiori asked him? Can you look like sex on two legs... Sex on two legs? Once again Rin was the first person that popped into Makoto’s head. Because Rin would be all passion and fire. He wouldn’t need to know someone to make them burn and melt. Even the kiss Rin had stolen from him to make a point had burnt with heat and passion.

 

What about Haru? Makoto suddenly thought. Haru had given Makoto his first kiss and Makoto still remembered it vividly. There had been a certain amount of confidence behind it. Confidence that Haru would not be rejected and kissing Makoto was the most natural thing in the world. Makoto had felt as if he was swept-up in it, like a tide he could not resist but that made sense because Haru was like water. He went with the flow but when he was determined, he was like a wall of water that crushed away your resistance and he could sweep you along. He just choose not to. Was that the essence of seduction?

 

Or maybe it was all three, thought Makoto. Maybe it was comfort and sensuality of earth, the confidence and flow of water, the passion and heat of fire. Everything combined… but then again, Makoto wasn’t any of those things. How did he kiss? How should he kiss? Why was he thinking of kissing when he didn’t even know if kissing was required?

 

“We are here,” declared the driver, “For both our sakes, good luck!”

 

“Thanks,” managed Makoto as his nerves started to get the better of him. Then Shiori turned-up and dumped even more information on his overloaded brain.

 

“Sorry to call you out so late and after asking such suspicious questions,” said Shiori, “But what was supposed to be a reasonably quick shoot that was to be wrapped-up shortly after noon is still going and looking like it might be a wash. I got pulled in just when I thought I was done for the day and they have already burnt through one of my talents. We were about to declare the shoot a wash and a waste of $10 million US when I remembered you. You are literally our last hope to salvage this.”

 

“$10 million US!” cried Makoto.

 

“International company advertising their product using international talent so the contracts are in US dollars. The hollywood actress cost $6 million. The french director is charging $1 million, the Japanese actor who was scheduled to appear will still have to be paid his million. The rest of crew, the hotel, logistic, talents they didn’t use but still have to pay something to for their time… actually the final tally will probably be more than $10 million US,” explained Shiori, “You'll get slightly higher than scale rates for this shoot too but not much.”

 

Makoto shrugged and put the thought of his pay out of his mind. He had other more pressing issues to deal with, “What do I have to do exactly, Shiori-san?”

 

“The perfume being advertised is Seduction for him and her,” explained Shiori, “We are shooting one long scene that will become two ads. First half of the scene is for Seduction for her, the actress storms into the room as temptation, you are taken by surprise while undressing,” Makoto gasped, Shiori quickly clarified with a smile, “Don’t worry, you’ll just be undoing a tie and unbuttoning a few buttons when she storms in and starts to seduce you by making-out with you and pushing you towards the bed. This is where you are supposed to turn the table,” explain Shiori, “And become the seducer. Take control of the kiss and end-up being the one on top by the time you end-up on the bed. That’s when the scene ends. But all the time you must look like someone sexy and seductive.”

 

“Sex on two legs,” repeated Makoto utterly terrified.

 

“Yep,” replied Shiori.

 

“I can’t do this Shiori-san!” protested Makoto, “I don’t know how to be sexy and seductive! I am the furthest thing from sex on two legs! Rin is sex on two legs! I am… I am… cuddles on two legs! I couldn’t seduce anyone even if I wanted to!”

 

“Don’t underestimate yourself and besides, you have nothing to lose from trying,”  replied Shiori.

 

Except Makoto had no clue how he was supposed to even try. But he gave-up protesting since it was clear Shiori would not be too pleased if he backed out now and he had already gotten out of bed and come all the way here. He took a deep breath and steadied himself and returned to his earlier questions.

 

How did he kiss? What did he want to be to the person he was kissing? Air, he suddenly decided, I want to be air. If I am kissing someone, for real or even pretend, I want to be their air. I want to help them breathe, so they can be comfortable and supported. So they can… live… but that’s not seduction is it? But I want to make them feel as if they can’t live without me because I am their air… For some reason he thought again of Haru. He certainly wanted to be Haru’s air because the deepest more selfish wish of his heart was still to be with Haru forever.

 

Wait did that mean he wanted to seduce Haru… Makoto pushed the thought out of his mind as being unproductive. Not to mention wrong and perverted. Haru was his childhood friend! Well… Zaki had been too but that was not the point! And Rin was even more wrong! Wait, where did Rin come into this? Oh right, because he had been thinking of Rin as sex on two legs. Makoto signed, he really needed to stop thinking of his friends as representing different types of love, sex and seduction.

 

“Makeup!” called Shiori as they arrived at the hotel penthouse where the shoot was going to take place.

 

“Ah!!!!” Makoto screamed in his head, he was so freaking confused! He was done! Just done! He was going to mess-up! Be the final straw! Embarrass himself in front of a Hollywood actress worth $6 million US dollars. Shiori-san was going to drop him, especially after he messed-up at the show and he’ll be stuck with a Tokyo apartment he didn’t need anymore and a lot of trouble and debt and, “At least I’ll be able to be with Haru-chan everyday again,” that made him feel better and he calmed right down.

 

He asked the makeup artist to look after him and just submitted himself to their care as wardrobe tried to find a dress pant and shirt to fit him. Once dressed and made-up, he was taken into bedroom of the penthouse, which also had a large living area where the make-up artist and wardrobe held court, and finally came face to face with the bored and put upon looking actress and disgruntled director.

 

“Well he looks like a saint,” complained the actress as soon as he entered in English.

 

“I am sorry,” Makoto managed, also in English.

 

“Reasonable english though,” commented the actress, not really talking to Makoto as such.

 

Shiori rolled her eyes and filled Makoto in, “Apparently while we were fetching you, one of her entourage did a quick web search on you and found out that some of your fans refer to you as St. Tachibana. Saints aren’t known for being sexually seductive.”

 

“Ah well…” Makoto didn’t know what to say, especially since he wasn’t feeling particularly seductive at the moment. Still, he took a good look at the actress. Makoto didn’t have the faintest clue who she was and she didn’t look particularly friendly. How was he supposed to kiss her? So far he hadn’t had to kiss strangers yet and now he was supposed to seduce one? Impossible, he couldn’t do it! But then again, so far, he had managed a lot of things by imagining the strangers were his friends or remembering memories involving his friends. He didn’t have a memory he could draw from but maybe he could think of her as one of his friends?

 

“Forgive me Rin!” Makoto sent his apologetic thoughts to Rin as he realised that the actress was all fire and Rin would be the easiest to imagine her as being. Come of think of it, Rin was also the only person he knew who could be as aggressive as the concept asked her to be. So Rin she would be for the duration of the shoot, “Forgive me Rin!’ Makoto thought again as he imagined how outrage Rin would be if he ever found out Makoto was thinking of him when acting out a seduction. It never crossing Makoto’s mind that Rin might actually like the idea of being seduced by Makoto.

 

“Let’s get on with this,” barked the director, “Places!”

 

Then Makoto was in the moment, just focusing on the moment, the stroke but also keeping an eye on the flags hung overhead that told him where the pool ended and thus when he had to turn or when he was near the finish. The actresses… no Rin’s lips were upon him, hot and demanding. Just like fire, he was being burnt and pushed back. He could see the flags, it was time to make the turn.

 

If he was really kissing Rin, what would he do? “I want to be air,” he reminded himself, “Rin’s air for when he comes-up to breath while he races. I want to fill his lungs so he can keep on racing. Give him the air he needs to keep on burning bright and hot. But if I was kissing Rin, it would mean I was in love with him. If I loved him that means I would want to be with him and for him to be with me forever and ever. I don’t like parting with things I love. So I would want him to need me, need me like he needs air. Because I am selfish like that. Selfish and greedy. I would forever want his fire with me so I could reveal in the warmth every, single day...” the actresses legs turned to jelly under her and she would have collapsed if Makoto’s arms didn’t come-up to hold her, carrying her to the bed and he laid her down upon it, under him.

 

“And cut!” called the director.

 

Makoto offered a friendly hand to the actress as he once again mentally begged Rin for forgiveness for using him to do something so embarrassing and perverted as seducing some actress whose name he didn’t even know. Famous and worth $6 million US dollars though she supposedly was.

 

“If you are a saint, you are the saint of seduction,” the actress commented as she got to her feet.

 

Makoto laughed sheepishly, “Thank you but I would be too embarrassed to be a saint of anything, let alone seduction.”

 

The actress humped as she went over to where the director was reviewing the shoot. “It’s a wrap…” director declared in total amazement once he was done reviewing, “In one fucking take… why the hell didn’t we get him to start with?” he suddenly demanded of no one in particular, “Do you people not know your own talents well enough to pick the right one for the job? Disgraceful.”

 

Makoto just looked embarrassed and wished a hole would open-up and swallow him because this was getting to be a bit much. “I’ll send for the car to take you home,” Shiori said to him.

 

“Ah, would it be possible to get a taxi instead?” asked Makoto, “The driver-san has been working hard and should probably be allowed to go home already.”

 

Shiori snorted, “Let him take you home,” she insisted, “But I’ll tell him he can go home straight after. Actually that’ll be the best way to ensure he doesn’t get saddled with a longer drive or with more passengers, thus more stops,” to this Makoto agreed.

 

Thinking of nothing more than to return home quickly and make sure Haru was getting the rest he needed, Makoto quickly changed and headed out. But at the corridor of the hotel he once again ran into the American actress, he really should get her name, who took the time to ask him, “What were you thinking of when you kissed me like that?”

 

“Ah… I imagined you were a friend…” Makoto said as a deep red blush suffused his face, “I am sorry! I can’t do those things to a stranger and so had to… had to think of you as a friend who um…” Makoto lost the trail of his thoughts.

 

But fortunately the actress was satisfied. She laughed and said, “Whoever you are thinking of is a very lucky girl. A girl who will no doubt not remain just a friend for long.”

 

“Not likely,” thought Makoto, “Because it’s Rin and Rin’s a friend who is not interested in me. So even if I was interested in him, it would be one of those one-sided unrequited loves that would just hurt, a lot.”

 

The actress moved on, Makoto headed home. His thoughts filled with Haru and the hope he would return to find Haru fast asleep. Because Haru needed his rest and sleep.

 

By the time he arrived home it was well passed 2 AM and he was exhausted. But thankfully Haru was asleep. Makoto quickly washed his face, brushed his teeth and then all but collapsed on his own futon. Only then did he realised Haru was no longer asleep, “They didn’t get you to do anything weird did they Makoto?”

 

“You are supposed to be asleep Haru-chan!” protested Makoto.

 

“I was asleep until just now,” Haru replied, “Are you dodging the question?” Haru asked, a little suspicious.

 

Makoto sighed, “I guess it was a little weird. I had to kiss and pretend to seduce someone.”

 

Haru was silent for a moment before asking, “Would be able to show aunty and uncle, Ren and Ran what you did?”

 

“It would be a little embarrassing,” admitted Makoto, “But it’s just a stupid perfume ad with a more complicated concept then necessary.”

 

“Then I am happy,” said Haru as he crawled into Makoto’s futon, but then added, “Makoto, you smell of women’s perfume.”

 

“I’ll go have a quick shower Haru-chan,” said Makoto as he dragged himself out again, “Please go back to sleep.”

 

“I can’t until you get back,” whispered Haru.

 

“Then I’ll be back quickly,” said Makoto with a soft smile as he headed to the shower, cursing himself for not having a shower before he managed to upset Haru and keep him from his rest.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this chapter got out of hand… *sigh* the orca plushie mentioned in this chapter is a shameless tie in to my one-shot [The Orca Plushie](http://archiveofourown.org/works/970994)


	11. Chapter 11

Despite not sleeping the night through and going to sleep later than usual,  like clockwork,  Haru woke at 6:30 am.  He had felt guilty about forcing Makoto to get back up and shower and so had punished himself by returning to his own futon after Makoto had returned, giving Makoto the perfectly reasonable and true excuse that Makoto needed to sleep undisturbed.  He was tempted to crawl back into Makoto's but Makoto wasn't a particularly deep sleeper and Haru did not want to rob Makoto of even more of his rest. As it was, Makoto would have to be awake soon enough and head out for two more shoots.

Sighing, he got out of bed and headed to the bathroom for his early morning soaking. He could just head straight to the pool but the pool was busy in the morning as many working folks exercised before heading to work. Haru briefly wondered if that was going to be him after High School, working full time and hitting the pool before and after work. Except he had not the smallest desire to be a salaryman and he did kind of want to go to college. Maybe study art and start a business utilising his art skills. Haru was smart enough to know that he couldn't work for anyone. He was just too difficult to be an employee.

Haru had, perhaps foolishly, assumed that Makoto would join him in whatever Haru decided to do. Of course Makoto would go to the same college as him. Of course Makoto would support Haru with his business ventures, his life because he was Makoto and they were a pair who faced the world together. Haru sighed, as he slipped into the water and wondered what he did to deserve this. This situation where Makoto might be taken away from him.

The only other time Haru had, had to worry about losing Makoto was when Zaki had confessed and to Haru’s utter shock, Makoto had accepted and they had started dating. But Haru had quickly discovered he had nothing to fear. Not from Zaki, who understood clearly Haru’s role in Makoto’s life and would not interfere with their friendship and just wanted to occupy the still vacant slot of Makoto’s lover. So once Haru had been satisfied that Zaki wasn’t going to take Makoto away from him, his only issue had become whether he was okay with the boy he loved being with someone else. He was still debating that question when one day he opened his locker and was reminded that his job since age 4 had been to protect Makoto. So he decided to do his job and held his tongue while Makoto and Zaki had a long, steady relationship that probably wouldn’t have ended had her family not moved.

Haru was supposed to move too since his and Zaki’s father worked in the same company and had been transferred at the same time but Haru was not remotely interested in annoying things like adjusting to a new school, new town and most importantly, in leaving Makoto. He was already so independent that his parents agreed he could stay back. In fact, Haru suspected his father might well have been delighted with the situation. Haru’s father had never been fond of children, even as a child, finding them noisy and annoying. Haru’s father was eternally grateful to the gods that Haru had turned out to be an introverted child who required very little attention with a strong independent streak. Ultimately, his father just wasn’t the nurturing type.

Haru didn’t care, he had his grandmother and mother but still, “It’s going to be different with me though,” thought Haru, “When I have kids with Makoto, we’ll raise them like…” and there it was again. Haru was again assuming his and Makoto’s future would be intertwined because despite everything that’s happened, especially with Zaki when Haru was confronted with the uncomfortable thought that Makoto might actually want someone other than Haru as a lover, Haru still believed Makoto would be with him forever. Be his everything forever. Yet, Haru was still holding his tongue for a reason and that reason wasn’t going to just disappear. But still, the hopes and dreams persisted.

Haru sighed, and submerged himself in the bath. Damn it all, why didn't Rin punch that talent scout harder? Because if Rin had, at least at this moment both he and Makoto would be in Iwatobi and Haru wouldn’t be wondering if he was going to lose Makoto to the high speed world of fashion and entertainment.

 

* * *

 

Makoto woke to the smell of fried squid, his favourite, instead of mackerels as he expected. “Good morning, Haru-chan,” he whispered, “Aren’t you going to cook mackerels?”

“I wanted squid,” Haru lied.

Makoto laughed, “Haru-chan, you aren’t feeling guilty about last night right?” he asked, “You shouldn’t. I should have showered at least, before getting back into bed. Probably should have had a proper bath too! I mean…” he fell silent as an embarrassed blush turned his face red as he recalled the things he did with that Hollywood actress.

“Why are you blushing?” Haru demanded, noting Makoto’s reaction as he turned his head to have a quick look at Makoto when his words cut-off mid sentence, “I thought you said whatever you did you would be okay showing to aunty and uncle, Ren and Ran.”

Makoto groaned, “Actually, I probably couldn’t show it to my family…”

Haru turned around and glared at Makoto, “What exactly did you do Makoto?”

“It’s a little hard to explain, Haru-chan,” replied Makoto sheepishly, “Not to mention embarrassing…”

Haru narrowed his eyes but only said, “Drop the -chan,” he turned back to his cooking but could not suppress his agitation. He so wanted to run away into the water.

Behind Haru, Makoto sighed as he picked-up on Haru’s discomfort and forced himself to speak, “It was a commercial shoot for a perfume called ‘Seduction’. They had a Hollywood actress who I didn’t know but who was apparently worth $6 million US dollars. She ah… had to pretend to seduce me but then I had to turn the tables and seduce her instead,” Makoto explained, “I… I honestly don’t know how I did. I mean, the director said he was satisfied but that was last night. They were all tired and wanted the shoot to be over. I am sure in the cold light of day the director-san will realise I know nothing about seduction and either re-shoot or use one of the other people they shot yesterday,” Makoto went on, “They tried a lot of people before Shiori-san gave me a try. The director is very demanding and I am not sexy or seductive. So I probably did those embarrassing things for nothing,” Makoto concluded.

For a while Haru said nothing, “You are going to have to do stuff like this a lot aren’t you, Makoto,” Haru finally said, sad and resigned, “Kiss people, pretend to be on dates with them, pretend to love them. Make people fall in love with you…”

“It’s only pretend,” said Makoto.

“What if you really fall in love,” wondered Haru pensively.

Makoto laughed, “I doubt it. Because I keep comparing everybody I meet to Haru-chan and no one else can compare.”

“Wait, was that a confession?” Haru thought as he turned around to find Makoto giving him that soft look that Makoto often gave him but there was nothing out of the ordinary about that. No that was not a confession, that was just Makoto being his usual, sweet self. “Damn!”, thought Haru as he turned back to cooking breakfast, “Makoto really needs to catch a clue.”

 

* * *

 

The 12th passed largely uneventfully. Makoto did his shoots which were nothing glamorous, just some catalogues, heard more about how he was trending following the Angels and Devil fashion show. That was something but the client would have obviously preferred the show overall trended and not just Makoto.

On the 13th Makoto made a point of turning off his mobile as he accompanied Haru to his freestyle swim trials for the Japanese National Team training program. “Good luck,” he told Haru, “But I know you are going to do great!”

Haru snorted, but said nothing. He would do his best because doing otherwise would be disrespectful to the water. Haru got through his heat, quarterfinals and semifinals just fine. At the finals he came third behind the current reigning high school 100m champion and runner-up. It was pretty great results considering Haru had lost to Rin and had not even advanced to regionals during the summer tournaments. He had come a long way.

“Well done, Haru!” said Makoto, “You are definitely going to be called for medicals and the interviews now!”

Haru just shrugged, “Let’s go get dinner,” said Haru.

“I looked-up a good curry place nearby,” replied Makoto, “They have mackerel curry!” Haru’s eyes shone at that and it was decided.

 

* * *

 

As they sat down to dinner Haru received the email tell him where and when to come tomorrow for his medical examination and interview. Makoto was delighted but Haru seemed more bothered than happy, “Makoto, are you going to move to Tokyo?” he asked.

Makoto was taken back, “Shiori-san wants me to. She’s already had a chat with me about it.”

“You grades have dropped haven’t they?” asked Haru.

“A little,” admitted Makoto, “But we still have the finals! We’ll both have to work extra hard for final exams once we return to Iwatobi. I am sure I’ll be able to make my grades back up! Especially since I won’t have to be coming to Tokyo for jobs since I’ll be on a break!” replied Makoto, before adding, “Well I’ll have to come one weekend because of the Go Out magazine shoot but that’s about it. So don’t worry about me Haru! I am fine with how things are.”

Silence, “Makoto,” Haru called his name even as he looked away, unable to meet Makoto’s eyes, “Whatever happens tomorrow, you should move to Tokyo. You can’t… you can’t keep commuting between Iwatobi and Tokyo without…” why did it hurt so much to say, “Without making a mess of both school and your career. But… but I’ll do my best to get in to the national program so I can move to Tokyo too. Because… because I absolutely don’t want to be away from Makoto,” Haru concluded, his face going flame red with embarrassment.

“Haru!” cried Makoto in delight as his face lit up and he grinned that impossibly innocent and pure grin no 17 year old should be able to pull-off but Makoto somehow did, “I am so happy! Because I don’t want to be away from Haru either!”

“What a romantic declaration but you aren’t allowed to date,” came the cold voice of Yamagami Shiori, “I hope you haven’t forgotten.”

Both Makoto and Haru jumped, “Ah! Shiori-san! What are you doing here?” wondered Makoto, “How did you even find us?”

“Don’t turn your phone off,” chastised Shiori, “I have been trying to contact you all day. As for how I found you, I searched for restaurants serving mackerels near the aquatic centre and this restaurant was among the top results. I called them, and a few other restaurants, up earlier and gave them your description and my number and asked them to call me if you turned-up. Well they called,” she sat down, “I had to reward them 5,000 Yen, that’s coming out of your next pay by the way.”

“Shiori-san!” protested Makoto.

“That’s what you get for turning your phone off,” replied Shiori.

“But I wanted to spend the day with Haru undisturbed,” whined Makoto, “Besides, what could be so urgent that you couldn’t wait until I got home?”

Shiori started fiddling with her tablet, “That Seduction commercial shoot you did,” Makoto looked scared, Haru looked curious but continued eating, “The rough cut is in,” Shiori smiled devilishly, “They won’t be calling you St Tachibana after this,” she laid the tablet on the table and showed the boys the low quality rough cut she had been sent.

Haru dropped his chopsticks in utter shock as he watched the ad unfold, Makoto groaned and hid his face, “I can’t believe I did that!”

“I can’t believe you did that either,” said Shiori, “I always imagined your ex-girlfriend to have been a soft sweet person. Yet she clearly was a devil in bed if you can fan and control flames like that,” Makoto buried his face in his hands more, praying to every god he could think of that Shiori did not push further because hell if he was going to admit to thinking about Rin in front of Haru!

For his part Haru was looking at Makoto as if he had never seen him before. Had Makoto been looking at Haru, he would have noticed that Haru had an odd, needy look on his face. But Makoto was not looking at Haru and thankfully, neither was Shiori as she would have called him out on it without the slightest hesitation.

Instead Shiori plowed on, “The rough cut of the ads were shown to the marketing exec of the perfume company. He likes what he sees and has just greenlighted some test shots. He wants to have some mock-ups made to see what you might look like on print ads for the Seduction For Him perfumes.”

“But… but I have school! Exams are coming-up!” Makoto pointed out.

“Which is why we are doing the shoots tonight,” said Shiori, “Let’s go.”

“What now!” Makoto had barely eaten his dinner but that was a minor thought, he looked at Haru and felt absolutely terrible for once again running out on him.

“Yes now,” said Shiori, “If you had picked-up your phone, we could have done it this afternoon. As it happens, Asami is doing us a huge favour by staying late to do your test shots. So let’s not keep her waiting longer than we have to.”

“I’ll come too,” said Haru, starting to get-up.

“Please pack the food to go,” Shiori asked the nearest server, “You boy can eat in the car. Just don’t spill anything.”

 

* * *

 

The tests shots were easier on Makoto since he didn’t have to be with anyone and most importantly, Haru was there to give him strength. All he had to do is look seductive for the camera and he managed that by just imagining himself, like he did during the commercial shoot, to be air and focusing his desire to be the air of… Haru.

Makoto hoped and prayed that Haru wasn’t watching him carefully enough to pick-up on the fact that Makoto’s mind was filled with thoughts about being Haru’s air or kissing Haru underwater and sharing his breath with him. The latter was a ridiculous notion as Haru’s lung capacity was volumes more than his own but it was a seductive image that allowed him to make a face that Asami actually gasped out loud at and made Shiori once again pronounce, “Yep, RIP St Tachibana.”

Makoto also recalled some of his memories with Zaki to achieve some of the poses and looks Asami was demanding of him but he absolutely refused to allow himself to think of Rin. For one, he felt that he had used Rin’s image enough already and for another, Makoto felt indecent thinking of Rin like that when Haru was just there. Why he felt uncomfortable imagining seducing Rin when Haru was around Makoto did not quite understand but he just felt it would be wrong. So, very, very wrong.

For his part Haru spent an absolute miserable time wondering who Makoto could be thinking of when he was making those face. Even had Haru realised Makoto was mostly thinking of him, Haru wouldn’t be happy because Makoto was going to be sharing those faces with the world and Haru didn’t want that. Har wanted to hoard Makoto, lock him up and keep him all to himself. Of course that was a selfish thought and served to make Haru even more unhappy. But damn! Those faces Makoto was making were just so… gorgeous!

However, as Shiori drove them home, the misery turned into determination. He would do absolutely everything in his power to get into the training program and have a good reason, a good reason other than Makoto that is, to move to Tokyo because Haru absolutely refused to lose Makoto.

So it was when Haru sat in front of Japan swim team management and was asked point blank, “How do we know you won’t just get-up one morning and on a whim walk out, after we had spent months of time and money on you with the Asian games as a goal?”

He replied without hesitation, “I don’t know what you heard but I am willing to do anything to prove that I want to be part of this program,” because I want to be with Makoto, Haru added in his head, “I want to swim for Japan,” because that’s all I can do to keep-up with Makoto.

There was a pause, then some whispers and finally, “Win the summer tournament.”

Haru felt his eyes go wide, “We can’t offer you a place yet, I am sorry. You have the talent but we are not convinced of your commitment. But the summer tournaments have been pushed-up due to the Asian games. It’ll all wrap-up before second term starts. Win and you are in.”

No! One whole term and possibly the summer vacations without Makoto but, “Fine,” Haru replied, “I’ll win.”

“Don’t make it sound so easy,” replied one of the managements, “At the national level, you’ll be meeting the students who have been accepted into our program.”

“Doesn’t matter”, Haru thought, “For Makoto I’ll win.”

Meanwhile, back in Samezuka, Rin was reading the email telling him he was accepted into the national team training program and starting from 1st term 3rd year, he’ll be training and living in Tokyo.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that became more Haru centric than I intended. Well hope folks are still enjoying this.


	12. Chapter 12

For one glorious month that ended in exams, Haru and Makoto were back to being normal and ordinary. Even the most die hard Mako-chan fans among their classmates were too busy stressing about exams to do more than snap some random photos of Makoto with their cell phone and even that stopped after a week as the Makoto returned to being a familiar sight.

So Haru was able to enjoy the return of the routine of walking with Makoto to and from school and studying for exams late into the night with Makoto, usually at Haru’s house as Makoto’s siblings (despite having their own exams) tended to turn their study time into playtime. It was almost as if Makoto had never met that talent scout. Almost.

The illusion of nothing having changed shattered one afternoon when Haru and Makoto returned to Makoto’s house to find his mother in tears and his siblings indignant with jealousy, “Onii-chan! How could you!”

“How could I what?” wondered Makoto, “Mom are you okay?”

“I am fine,” replied his mother, “I just realised that my little boy is all…” she sniffed, “All grown-up!” she sobbed.

“Eh?”

“We went to the shopping centre with mom after school to buy a present for Hina-chan,” Ran explained, “We are going to her birthday party this weekend. That’s when we saw you on the TV, kissing that girl! How could you onii-chan! I am going to marry you when I grow-up!” she whined.

“No! I am going to marry Onii-chan!” protested Ren.

This finally brought a smile to Makoto’s mother face, “Unfortunately, neither of you can marry Makoto.”

“Why not!” they twins demanded in unison.

“Because Makoto belongs to Haruka of course,” his mother declared with a laugh.

“Mom! Don’t say embarrassing things!” protested Makoto as he turned to a blushing Haru, despite this not being the first time Makoto’s mother teased them about being a couple, and said, “Sorry about this,” Makoto apologised.

“It’s fine,” Haru mumbled.

Makoto’s mother laughed again at their embarrassment but continued in a more sober tone, “I guess it really hit home when we saw that ad playing on a loop at the perfume display,” she explain, “You really are becoming an idol and no longer my sweet innocent little boy.”

“Mom, um…” Makoto didn’t know what to say, “It was only pretend…”

“It didn’t look pretend!” protested Ran, “It looked just like when you were with Zaki-chan, only worse!” Ren nodded in agreement.

“It was just pretend!” Makoto insisted exasperated, “It’s just a stupid ad.”

Haru had, had enough, “I am going home,” he declared.

“Haru-chan wait!” Makoto called after Haru, “Weren’t we going to have dinner together here before going to your house to study?”

“I changed my mind,” replied Haru and started to put his shoes back on.

“Haru…” Makoto whispered, at a loss for why Haru suddenly changed his mind but sensing that Haru needed some time to himself, let him go.

As soon as Haru got home, he reached for his cell phone and pulled-up Makoto’s fan forum. Sure enough, the current top trending post had Makoto’s new ad embedded in it. It was worse now that they had polished it, added a filter that rendered everything black and white except for Makoto’s vibrant green eyes (the actress got to keep her red painted lips and red dress in colour) and the music too seemed to be better quality than Haru had heard on the rough cut. It was just… worse! Haru closed the browser and put away his phone as he started to strip. He needed a bath. He needed to calm down before Makoto came after dinner for their study session.

The next disruption in their illusion of normalcy came in the form of a phone call from Shiori, “You're going to Dubai.”

“You got me a catwalk job even though I messed-up?” asked Makoto in amazement.

“Well you trended for a solid three days and then the Seduction ad hit the airwaves. So it was easy to get you some jobs. You’ll be gone for about 8 days, you are doing three shows over three days and will have to leave straight after your exams finish. Do you have a passport?”

“Umm… no, I never had to leave Japan before,” replied Makoto sheepishly.

“I’ll send you the forms, fill them-up quickly. You’ll also need a temporary work visa, I’ll send you the forms for those too. Get everything back to me as soon as you can,” Shiori told him.

“Wait! About… Haru…” started Makoto.

“I didn’t forget,” said Shiori, “Ask him if he wants to tag along with you. Your ticket will be paid for by the contract. Nanase-san’s will be coming out of your pay. But twin bed hotel rooms cost about the same as single bed hotel room so that’s not a problem. But I warn you, you won’t have a lot of time to spend doing touristy stuff.”

 

“Yeah I understand, I just really want to show Haru-chan the underwater hotel,” replied Makoto.

“About that… you don’t have any problems with the ocean do you?” asked Shiori.

“Huh,” was all Makoto said but if Shiori could see his face, she would know he was going into utter panic mode.

“There is a job available, I want to put you forward for it. Especially given your swimming experience but it is risky,” explained Shiori, “But if you get it, I could get you guys rooms in the underwater hotel. It’s for a tourism brochures aimed at the Japanese market. What they want to do is have one person, you if you get the job, freedive down along the side of the hotel to the top most level and be on the other side of the glass from the other model,” explained Shirori,  “The concept being something like reconnect with your loved ones in Dubai. Technically they could fake it but they would rather do it for real if they can. So can you do it?”

There was a noticeable paused before Makoto asked, “If I do it, Haru and I get to stay in the underwater hotel?”

“Yep and I might even be able to get free tickets for Nanasa-san out of Dubai tourism,” added Shiori.

“I’ll do it,” said Makoto, “I haven’t freedived before but I have read about the technique involved. I can practice in the pool. The top most level wouldn’t be too far below the surface right?”

“I honestly don’t know,” replied Shiori.

“I would…” Makoto was beginning to panic just thinking about it but still he pressed on, “I’ll do it.”

“Great! I’ll let you know if you get the job,” Shiori hung-up. After she did, Makoto spent a good ten minutes trying to calm himself before he returned to the roof to continue having lunch with Haru. Nagisa and Rei hadn’t joined them yet so Makoto had some time alone with Haru.

Still, when he mentioned his upcoming trip to Dubai and asked Haru to come with him, he did not mention the freediving job. Afterall, he didn’t have it yet, no need to worry anyone with it. But, “I am not sure I can afford tickets to Dubai,” Haru replied, his tone was neutral but Makoto could tell he was upset.

“It’s my treat Haru-chan,” Makoto replied.

“Makoto, you can’t afford tickets to Dubai for me either,” Haru pointed out, “Haven’t you already been advanced a bunch of money by your talent agency? Plus you have the apartment in Tokyo and stuff.”

“It’s fine,” replied Makoto, “My Go Out magazine contract pretty much covers my Tokyo living expenses. I am a little in-debt with the agency but its not too bad. Besides…” he really didn’t want to worry Haru, “I might be getting another job that’ll come with free tickets for you.”

 

“What kind of job?” Haru asked, getting a little suspicious as he picked-up on Makoto’s hesitation and distress.

“A photo shoot for a Dubai tourism brochure for Japanese tourists,” Makoto replied honestly.

“What do you have to do for it?” Haru pressed.

Makoto was saved from answering by the appearance of Nagisa, “Haru-chan! Mako-chan! How did your exams go?”

“I think I screwed-up english,” replied Makoto grinning, “But I think maths went okay.”

Unfortunately for Makoto, Haru was not about to let him off, “Makoto,” he said in a dead serious voice, “What do you have to do for the tourism brochure?”

“Ah? Did you get more jobs Mako-chan? Do you have to be sexy and all kissy, kissy like in the perfume ad?” Nagisa wondered.

“Nagisa-kun!” Rei chimed in, “Stop pestering Makoto-senpai.”

Makoto turned toward Nagisa and was about to address him but Haru cut him off with a simple, “Makoto, what do you have to do?” he asked again.

Makoto gave-up, “Freedive in the ocean.”

All three were shocked into silence. Haru recovered first and found himself angry beyond words. He got-up and left the roof, clearly giving of the vibe that he did not want to be followed. Especially by Makoto.

“Mako-chan,” Nagisa suddenly asked, “Are we your friends? Me and Rei-chan I mean, and Gou-chan too I guess. Maybe Rin-chan too…”

“Huh?” Makoto was surprised, “Where did this come from, of course you guys are my friends.”

“I wonder sometimes,” said Nagisa, uncharacteristically subdued and sober, “Because Mako-chan is nice and kind to everyone but only Haru-chan seem to be special to Mako-chan. So sometimes I feel that for Mako-chan there is Haru-chan and there is everyone else and we fall in with everyone else.”

Makoto didn’t know what to say, “Of course Haruka-senpai is special to Makoto-senpai,” Rei offered, “They are childhood friends and best friends!”

“But it’s not just that!” protested Nagisa, “I sometimes think that if Haru-chan wasn’t there, Mako-chan wouldn’t… wouldn’t treat us any differently to how he treats the rest of our schoolmates. Mako-chan is kind of cold, sweet but cold.”

 

“Like ice cream,” offered Rei, “I can understand.”

“That’s not true at all. If anything, that’s more what you guys would do,” countered Makoto, “If Haru wasn’t here, you would totally ignore me.”

“No we wouldn’t!” protested Nagisa, “I choose Iwatobi for both Haru-chan and Mako-chan. You are both special to me!”

“Me too,” replied Rei, “I really admire Makoto-senpai. Just as much as I admire Haruka-senpai.”

Makoto smiled, “And I think of both of you as my friends. You are not the same as the rest of our schoolmates. Gou too is special to and Rin…” Makoto sighed, “Rin’s different. I can’t really explain it but I will admit that Rin, Haru and Zaki, you remember Zaki-chan don’t you Nagisa, are in a different place in my heart from all my other friends.”

“Maybe because you are all the same age,” offered Rei, who had heard a little about Zaki from Nagisa and seen her pictures in coach Sasabe’s photobook.

“Maybe,” acknowledged Makoto.

“But you definitely think of us as friends,” insisted Nagisa, “You won’t… you won’t forget us when you become a star and ignore us and never acknowledge us or anything like that?”

“Of course not!” Makoto readily replied.

Nagisa immediately brightened-up and hugged Makoto, “Yay!” but then letting go he added, “But Mako-chan should probably make-up with Haru-chan before your next exam.”

Rei nodded, “Getting distracted during exams does not lead to beautiful outcomes.”

 

* * *

 

It was too cold to swim in the outdoor pool, but still Makoto found Haru crouched by it. “I am sorry, Haru-chan,” offered Makoto as he cautiously approached Haru, “It’s just, I really wanted Haru to come with me. I really wanted Haru to swim in a different sea and see the underwater hotel, maybe even get to stay at the underwater hotel. But,” Makoto sighed, “I guess it was selfish of me. I mean, you’ll miss the last week of school and be away for the first few days of the spring holiday and so won’t have as much time with your parents. You are going to go see them during spring holidays right?” Haru usually did go to his parents who were currently living in the UK, his father being on a year long secondment to one of his companies UK partners, which is why Haru had a passport.

Haru shook his head, “Winter holiday was enough,” he replied, “UK is just too far away.”

“Oh,” said Makoto, “So… so you can come with me? Well, you still would miss last week of school and would have to have Amakata-sensei mail you your results but I…”

“Makoto,” Haru interrupted him, “If I didn’t go with you, would you still freedive?”

Silence, “I don’t have to take that job, even if I am offered it,” replied Makoto, “But I wouldn’t want Haru to pay for his own ticket as I want to take you to Dubai and I also really want to stay with Haru at the underwater hotel. That’s something I totally can’t do without taking the tourism brochure job. So I… I really want to do this job and I think I can do it, if… if Haru is with me.”

“But if I am not with you, you don’t have to do it,” Haru pointed out.

“I want to do it,” replied Makoto.

“Because you want to take me to Dubai and stay with me at the underwater hotel,” Haru summarised what Makoto had been saying, “You are not doing this for yourself. You don’t really want to do this do you?”

“Haru-chan, if I gave into my fears I would live in the middle of the desert,”  replied Makoto, “But I don’t want to give into my fears. Especially when it keeps me from doing things with Haru. So please, come with me to Dubai and watch me freedive. Well,” he added with a grin, “Assuming I get the job. Otherwise, you’ll just have to watch me be a walking clothes hanger.”

“I’ll think about it,” Haru said after a lengthy pause, that was enough to make Makoto grin wide and Haru knew his cause was lost. He was going to Dubai. He only hoped he was not going to bear witness to another awful accident involved Makoto and the sea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From wikipedia, “Free-diving (or freediving) is a form of underwater diving that relies on a diver's ability to hold his or her breath until resurfacing rather than on the use of a breathing apparatus such as scuba gear.” I am probably being too dramatic calling the dive Makoto has to do “freedrive” as the top (submerged) level of the (real but still being under construction) Dubai underwater hotel is probably not that deep. But then again…
> 
> Also, the whole Ren and Ran wanting to marry Makoto is from Drama CD 2. But I made the bit up about Makoto's mom totally shipping Haru and Makoto.
> 
> Lastly, since I keep mentioning Yazak Aki (Zaki) from high speed. So I thought I would point people [here](http://makeupsyndrome.tumblr.com/post/61319746760/where-is-aki). Basically, people think they have identified Aki from episode 10 and so imagine that girl in middle school as Makoto’s first and only girlfriend for the purposes of this story.


	13. Chapter 13

Haru had never been afraid of water. Even after he nearly drowned in elementary school he was not afraid. Even when Makoto nearly drowned, Haru did not hold it against the water because Haru had always accepted the water had fangs that could rip you apart. So why was it that his dreams were now filled with pitch black water? Water that made him afraid. But was it the water he was fearing? No, it wasn’t the water he was afraid of.

In his dreams he was searching, searching for Makoto and not finding him. There was no light in Haru’s dreams because Makoto was his light and his light was gone. He didn’t sleep well for two days straight. He wasn’t sure how he managed his exams but he knew he wasn’t on top of his studies and exams as he normally was.

Of course Makoto picked-up on it, “Are you alright Haru?” he wondered.

“I am fine,” Haru snapped, he had been having difficulty not snapping at Makoto since the dreams began and each time he snapped, Makoto looked like a kicked puppy.

Haru suspected that by now, very likely Makoto had figured out what was eating Haru. Knew that Haru really didn’t want him to do something so dangerous as freedive along the side of an underwater hotel just so they could capture some “authentic” photos purely, it seemed to Haru, for bragging rights. Surely they could fake it in the much safer environment of an aquarium or something.

Yet Makoto still did not turn down the freedive job and quietly started freedive classes with a Iwatobi based freediver as soon as Shiori confirmed he had got the job but that the client insisted he get some proper lessons. They didn’t want any accidents and being Dubai tourism, were willing to spend what it took to get Makoto fully prepared. Makoto did not ask Haru to come with him to the lessons. That hurt!

Worse, the lessons meant that they couldn’t walk home together and were no longer studying together for their remaining exams. That annoyed Haru further. Combine that with his black mood during lunch, it seemed he and Makoto rarely spoke these days. Indeed their only proper conversation was about the Dubai trip and that stupid freedive job.

“Shiori-san wants final confirmations before she books your tickets Haru,” Makoto whispered, “You are coming, aren’t you?” he asked, uncertain but hopeful.

“If I said no would you drop that freedive job?” asked Haru quietly, as Nagisa and Rei both became taut with tension.

“It’s too late for that,” replied Makoto, “They already paid a significant amount of money for me and if I break contract, I would lose face. They are paying me a lot of money for the photoshoot actually,” said Makoto, “Enough that if I do it, all my debt with the agency so far will be cleared-up and I can start fresh after Dubai,” the Dubai government agencies were a generous lot.

“I did start this so I could have extra money to do fun things with everybody and help the people I love get things they want or need,” Makoto made a point of turning to also look at Nagisa and Rei, mindful of Nagisa’s words from before, “But I haven’t been able to do much of that because making money as a working model is kind of hard,” he admitted sheepishly.

“You are too hard on yourself Mako-chan!” protested Nagisa, “You took us all to the amusement park!”

“And you let me have the subscriptions you were offered for the magazines you appeared in!” Rei chimed-in, “I learnt a lot from the Monthly Muscle Magazine! By the way Makoto-senpai, those pictures of your back muscles were absolutely beautiful.”

 

“Thanks,” replied Makoto, blushing. But then he turned to Haru and waited, waited for Haru to say something.

 

Haru didn’t answer. Makoto’s face fell, “I understand,” he whispered but didn’t say anything more. Makoto couldn’t bring himself to take another bite. Indeed, he felt like throwing-up what he had eaten. So he excused himself and went for a walk.

 

He was honestly at his limit. Every lesson tested his nerves and the only reason he was able to face the terrifying extremes of freediving was by thinking of Haru, wondering what kind of face Haru would make when he could lie in bed while surrounded by the sea or how he would look swimming in Persian Gulf. But now, now what did he have to hold on to? How was he even supposed to face today’s lessons, let alone do the shoot proper?

 

Makoto found a secluded corner on the school ground and let all his feelings wash over him. With no one around to see him, he didn’t have to hide anything behind his smile. So he leaned against a tree and let the despair he was feeling drown him. He meant what he said, he couldn’t back out anymore without losing face, going even further into debt with his agency and more importantly, incurring the wrath of Shiori - who could well ensure his career was over before it started. At which point how on earth was he going to pay back his debts?

 

There was a rumour he heard around the office about a model called Shinji, who had once been Shiori’s client. Shinji was supposed to be a promising up and coming star much like Makoto himself but then he had somehow managed to get on the wrong side of Shiori. Shiori destroyed him. He ended-up committing suicide but that only caused more problems for his loved one. Not only did his parents have to grieve for him but they also got stuck with his debts to the agency and went into bankruptcy because of it. Makoto absolutely did not want that to happen!

 

Makoto also did not want to spend the rest of his life paying back his debts either. He heard a lot of stories about that too. Failed models who went into other careers but then spent years trying to pay back their debt or not very successful models who kept modelling but never went anywhere. Makoto had nicely managed to get himself trapped and this was despite have a decent amount of work for someone who just started. But then, he was commuting between Iwatobi and Tokyo, which got expensive. Of course he now also had a Tokyo apartment that was incurring him costs.

 

If he could just do this freediving job, somehow do it even without Haru there to lend him support, he’ll at least be debt free! Well at least for a little while because despite Haru’s encouragement and Shiori’s persistence, he did not want to move to Tokyo permanently yet. Of course that meant that he would go back into debt from having to pay for regular shinkansen tickets and would be limited in the jobs he could take and… Makoto laughed self mockingly. He was well and truly screwed because he couldn’t quit while he still had the Go Out magazine contract without losing face either.

 

Honestly, he didn’t want to quit. Because he felt like he could do something with himself if he stuck to this path. Make himself someone Haru would want to remain by his side forever and not just out of routine and habit because they were childhood friends who lived close to each other. Because deep down, Makoto dreaded being cast away by Haru. It was almost inevitable wasn’t it? Surely one day Haru would wake-up and realised he had outgrown Makoto and slowly start to drift away from him, until Makoto gently but inevitable got the message he was no longer wanted. He also thought he could make his parents proud, take care of his siblings and just be able to be there for the people he loved.

 

Makoto took a deep breath and slowly released it, now was not the time to indulge in his insecurities. He had a job to do, a commitment to keep. He needed to find a way to dive into the ocean that terrified him without Haru’s hand to keep him steady and his presence to calm him. But how? “Haru,” he whispered, despairing once again, somehow hoping that by invoking Haru’s name he would magically gain the strength he lacked.

 

He did not expect a reply, “Makoto,” Haru called back.

 

Makoto froze and quickly tried to arrange his face into a smile as he turned to face Haru, “Did you finish your lunch, Haru?” he asked, trying to make small talk, “Sorry for leaving like that. I wasn’t feeling very well. I think I ate too much this morning. Ren and Ran are beginning to cook and made a big breakfast for the family as practice. It would have been rude not to try everything but I have been bloated ever since,” Makoto laughed self deprecatingly.

 

Haru wanted to punch him. He was so angry that he wanted to hit his best friend, the man he loved more than anything in the world. Haru clenched his fists tightly to crush the obscene desire, digging his nails into his palm, drawing blood. “Makoto,” Haru’s voice choking, “I don’t want to be pulling your unconscious body from the ocean ever again. So...” I am begging you not to do this, Haru wanted to say but the words got lodged in his throat because… because he was afraid even if he begged, Makoto would still do this thing and Haru would know for certain how far Makoto had drifted away from him.

“I’ll go with you,” Haru said instead, “But you have to promise to think about yourself. Not do anything too dangerous. Because…” I don’t ever want to experience the dread of being left with nothing but your corpse, but Haru couldn’t get the words out.

 

“Haru…” whispered Makoto but then he broke out in a relieved smile, “Thank you, Haru!”

 

* * *

 

Soon enough their exams were over and Haru and Makoto found themselves on a plane bound for Dubai. About the same time, Rin was packing-up to leave the dorm room he shared with Nitori for the last time. He was going to stay a little while with his mother and Gou, then he would move into a dorm in Tokyo and start his training with the national team.

 

Nitori watched him pack-up a little sadly but didn’t say anything. When Rin was done, he turned to Nitori and asked, “How does the plot of your BL mangas usually go, Nitori?” he wondered.

 

“Huh? Oh, ah…” Nitori was once again embarrassed as he recalled he had accidentally confessed to Rin and had been gently but without a doubt rejected by him, “I… well um… they have lots of different plots. So, so I can’t just describe one as a BL manga plot. But… but the kind I like involve senpais who are perfect and who inspire their kohai to work hard and… and reach for the stars. I…” Nitori blushed a little embarrassed, “I like it best when the kohai can make it. Because… because the stars they reach for are their senpai!” he admits, his blush deepening.

 

Rin sighs, “I lied to you a little that day,” Rin admits, “I mean, I meant what I said about Makoto being the only person I could think of who could make me feel warm and fuzzy inside if we were dating. But the thing is, you made me feel warm and fuzzy inside too with your friendship, your concern and support no matter how much of a jerk I was being. You ah… saw me at my worst and still remained by my side. That meant a lot to me. Thank you, Ai.”

 

“Rin… senpai…” Nitori was at a loss for words.

 

Rin debated his next move for a moment but decided there was no harm. This was goodbye. They might never see each other again. So… Rin leaned in and kissed Nitori lightly on the lips. Nitori was shocked but happy. When Rin pulls away, Nitori was left speechless, “You should do as your name, Ai,” because Ai means love, “And find someone to love, who can love you back wholeheartedly. You deserve it.”

 

“So… so do you, Rin-senpai!” Nitori finally found his voice, “And if you think Tachibana-san is the only who’ll make you happy then you should go after him! And I’ll cheer you on in rl and virtually!”

 

“Virtually?” wondered Rin.

 

“On Tachibana-san’s fan forums! Someone posted information about you as well as about Nanase-san and your relationship with Tachibana-san. So the fujoshi fans of Tachibana-san have started ‘shipping’ you and Nanase-san with Tachibana-san. I am of course on team MakoRin, which is what they call your ship! Because you and Tachibana-san would make a wonderful couple!”

  
Rin did not know how to respond to that. Finally he said, “Thanks… I guess…” Nitori beamed. This was farewell, but a good farewell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am going straight to fandom hell aren’t I? But at some point I would really like to write a forum exchange between Nitori (team MakoRin) and Nagsia (team MakoHaru of course). I imagine Gou would be on team MakoRinHaru because you can’t go wrong with more muscles. While Rei would change ships regularly based on the quality of fanart and fanfiction, i.e. he’s on board whichever ship as the more beautiful fan stuff.


	14. Chapter 14

Somewhat randomly, Haru remembered his grandmother and what she had once said about Makoto back when they were children. Haru was six or eight and they had been invited to a wedding. Haru couldn't remember whose wedding but he did remember asking his grandmother about weddings and marriages. The discussion had ended with Haru declaring, "So I'll marry Makoto and then we'll be together forever!"

His grandmother had chuckled, "It doesn't work like that. Besides, it is not something you can decide on your own. Makoto has to also want to be with you forever."

"Of course he wants to be with me forever, he said so," Haru had declared.

Haru gave a sidelong glance and took in Makoto’s pensive  profile. He had grown-up firmly believing in Makoto’s childhood declaration that he would be with Haru forever. Even the weight of his grandmothers words, tempered as they were with time and experience could not shake his belief. Yet now… Haru turned his full attention back to the alien looking structure that sat in the sea: the Underwater hotel.

They had been in Dubai for about five days but for the moment were staying at a different hotel since Makoto was busy with his catwalk shows. After they were done, Makoto and Haru would relocate to the Underwater Hotel for the last two days of their trip, during which time Makoto was to take part in the photo shoot for the Dubai tourism brochure.

Makoto had been too busy to do much of anything. He was lucky if he could make it back in time to join Haru at the beach near their current hotel for a quick dip. So this was the first day he had managed to get enough time to come with Haru to see the Underwater Hotel, albeit only from the outside. Haru himself however had made a point to come see it as soon as he could.

It really looked alien, something out of a sci-fi movie. It consisted of two disks, one fixed on top of the waterline, the other disk designed to move up and down along a elevator tube from the bottom of the sea to just above the waterline. When Shiori had first mentioned the freedive job to Makoto, she had said Makoto had to freedive down along the side of the hotel to the top most level and so far, that was all the information Makoto had. But there wasn’t really a “top level”, so Haru’s best guess was that they were going to raise the submerged disk up near the waterline. At least that’s what he hoped.

But, “I think they are going to make me dive down the 20 meters to the bottom,” Makoto said finally, “I mean, if the disk is not at the bottom, they wouldn’t be able to get the corals reef in the picture.”

“But Yamagami-san said top level,” Haru said, trying to convince himself as well as Makoto that Makoto really didn’t have to dive down that far.

“I think Shiori-san misunderstood,” replied Makoto, “I mean, doesn’t make much sense to raise the disk higher and take pictures. All you’ll get is blue water. They could have done that in a tank.”

“20 meters…” whispered Haru.

“It’s not so bad,” said Makoto, “I managed 15 meters without fins during training and that’s with a pause of about 2 minutes at the bottom. With fins I can go down to 25 meters now. I’ll be fine, Haru,” he assured his companion with a grin.

Haru wasn’t convinced, “They are pairing you up with Hinamori again aren’t they,” Haru had, had a grudge against Hinamori Chizuru ever since the amusement park commercial shoot.

The so called professional model had taken like 15 takes to get a simple sequence right. Her dumbness had meant Haru could not spend as much time with Makoto as he wanted to and that was unforgivable. Besides which, Haru was dreading that Hinamori would mess-up this photo shoot as well and cause Makoto to dive more times and thus increase the risk of accidents and not to mention increase the chances of Makoto having a panic attack.

Picking-up on what Haru was thinking Makoto chimed in, “Don’t worry Haru-chan, Hinamori-chan is much better at photo shoots then she is with cms. She has more experience with them and she does better when she doesn’t have to speak.”

“She’s an idiot,” Haru said bluntly.

“Haru that’s mean!” protested Makoto, “I have done photo shoots with her before, she can totally get and hold poses really well!”

Haru shrugged, “Let’s swim,” he said and headed for a nearest publicly accessible beach.

 

* * *

 

Shiori did not accompany Makoto so he had to navigate his schedule, coordinate with the local show management, deal with his fellow models as well as actually do the modelling. Most days he finished very late, very exhausted, hungry as hell, very stressed and just wanting to sleep but needing still to make the trip back to his hotel and eat before he could crash. He was also supposed to be working out and that meant he would be up very early to go for a run, a form of exercise he did not care for, or go swimming with Haru.

He asked one of the other Japanese models how he was coped with the stress and exhaustion and was simply told, “Chemical energy,” and promptly offered pills. Makoto was mildly disturbed and politely refused. He would have to find his own way of balancing things.

“Why didn’t Yamagami-san come?” wondered Haru, annoyed as he watched Makoto all but collapse on the bed. Haru had already ordered dinner but was beginning to doubt Makot would be able to eat anything before at least having a quick nap.

“I am not the only model on her books,” Makoto pointed out, “She can’t always accompany me, especially overseas,” he yawned, “Most models don’t have personal managers who are with them on every job. I am lucky that Shiori-san makes the effort to accompany me on big jobs but asking her to come overseas with me is too much,” Makoto yawned again.

“I’ll draw you a bath,” said Haru getting up, “It’ll help you relax and then we can eat.”

“I got offered drugs today,” Makoto suddenly said, stopping Haru dead in his tracks, “Chemical energy, senpai said.”

“Makoto…”

“I turned him down but I realised I need to figure something else out,” replied Makoto, “Especially if weeks like this become routine.”

“Don’t take drugs, Makoto,” said Haru, “You don’t need them, you have the water,” Makoto laughed, earning a glare from Haru.

“Don’t worry Haru-chan,” he whispered sleepily, “I mean, I want to be able to continue to look Ran and Ren in the face if I start taking drugs.”

Again someone else, why couldn’t Makoto just do something or not do something because it was bad for him. For his own sake? But it probably didn’t matter as long as Makoto didn’t resort to drugs. Yet, Haru once again wished Rin had punched that talent scout harder.

Back in Japan, Rin too was wishing he had punched Tanaka Lory harder as Gou excitedly told him that Makoto and Haru were in Dubai and all she knew about Makoto’s jobs, “Makoto is freediving in the sea?”

“Yep, he’s been taking lessons and everything,” she replied cheerfully, “I am looking forward to seeing the pictures. He’s muscles should be in great display!”

Rin said nothing. He wanted to call Makoto up and yell at him, demand to know what he was doing, wasn’t he afraid of the ocean? The water? But then he remembered that Makoto seemed more and more comfortable swimming since the regionals. So maybe he had conquered his fears or at least dealt with them enough to take on something daft like freediving for a bloody photo shoot. But then again…

Finally Rin settled on sending Makoto a text message, “Heard you were doing something stupid and dangerous for the sake of fashion. Do me a favour and stay safe. Saw your perfume commercial. Damn Makoto, when did you learn to kiss like that! I am never going to be able to look at you the same way.”

Makoto blushed when he got the message. How could he not when Rin mentioned the perfume commercial and Makoto was reminded he had been thinking of Rin when he was kissing that actress like that. His reply to Rin, however, contained no hint of his embarrassment or his secret. It simply read, “Thanks Rin but don’t worry, I’ll be fine. Haru is with me.” Makoto could not know that the mention of his dependency on Haru was beginning to bother Rin.

 

* * *

 

The last day of Makoto’s catwalk show was chaotic and Makoto was grateful that Haru had come with him because he was not sure how he was going to manage alone. They had to checkout in the morning and Makoto left his luggage in Haru’s care as he rushed off. Haru took both their stuff to the Underwater Hotel, finally seeing the inside of it and for the first time since they came to Dubai, he thought that the trouble Makoto had gone through to bring them here was worth it! It really was like living underwater.

Haru was suddenly overcome with the desire to draw. So as soon as he could, he went looking for art supplies and started to draw as soon as he returned to their room. At first he drew the room they were in, drew the coral reef he could see outside their window. But then he started designed a house, no a home. A home he wanted to share with Makoto.

He thought about building a home off the coast of Iwatobi similar to how the hotel was built but then remembered that the coastline of Iwatobi were subject to typhoons and scrapped that idea. He then started to draw a house by the river that was half submerged but it didn’t feel right. Finally he decided to be practical as well as fantastic, not to mention romantic and drew the bedroom he wanted to share with Makoto.

He imagined a room with wall to wall aquarium, filled with goldfish of all colours and sizes. They would have a king size waterbed and special furniture that didn’t interfere with the lines of the aquarium. I.e. all their furniture would be lower than bottom edge of the aquariums so they didn’t obstruct the view of the fishes.

Haru designed lamps and light fixtures as a dolphin and orca swimming together like yin and yang, chasing each other in an endless circle. The carpets would be a dark coloured, as would the walls so that the blue of the water could be brought out and chests, they would have chests to store their stuff in as opposed to closets and cabinets.

Bedroom concept down on paper, Haru got to work on a living room, which too would have wall to wall aquarium. The the kitchen would be plain, simple and functional and was followed by a guest room because Haru figured Makoto would want Ran and Ren and his parents to visit them often. The guest room wouldn’t have wall of wall aquarium. It would be simple and clean, decorated only with their orca and dolphin lamps. Finally, Haru gave into his wildest dream and designed a kids room with painted walls depicting the sea.

Haru looked back through his drawings and knew this was a very far off dream. If indeed they could ever achieve it. It wasn’t just that such a place would be expensive to build but the aquariums would cost a lot of maintain. Haru sighed, they would probably have to be more practical and cut down on the number and sizes of the aquariums if they did indeed ever get around to try and build the place. But for now, he was happy to dream.

 

* * *

 

Makoto was a wreck by the time he was done. He confused enough to start heading towards their old hotel before remembering they had moved hotels. Damn he was tired.

“Are you sure you don’t want some?” the model who had previously offered him pills asked, “I mean, you have more work tomorrow right? The pills can help you relax tonight and be at your peak tomorrow.”

Makoto was tempted and then horribly disappointed at himself, “No thanks,” he finally said with a smile, “I don’t want to depend on such things.”

“Suit yourself,” the model replied, “Ah, don’t mention to anyone I have these though. I don’t really want to lose my head over these.”

Come of think of it, Dubai did have very strict drug laws. It was probably very dangerous to have or take drugs while in the UAE. Suddenly feeling doubly happy he hadn’t done something truly stupid Makoto headed towards the right hotel. He briefly wondered how the model in question had managed to get his hands on the pills within UAE but then decided he didn’t want to know. He had zero interest in the dark side of modelling. This brush was enough.

Makoto was too exhausted to appreciate the beauty of the underwater hotel. But he pulled on what reserves of energy he could when he got to the room he was sharing with Haru to give him a smile and listen as Haru gushed about the room, the hotel, saying, “It’s like we are actually inside Animal Crossing: Deep Sea!”

Makoto smiled more at the mention of his siblings favourite game. A game Haru often played with them late into the night. Haru used to play with them… Makoto hadn’t had the time to play games for months now. “I am sorry, Haru,” Makoto suddenly said, “I haven’t been spending enough time with you or Ren and Ran.”

“Don’t worry about stuff like that,” whispered Haru, finally noticing how drawn and exhausted Makoto looked, “You should have a nap. I’ll order some room service and draw a bath for you.”

“Sorry Haru,” replied Makoto, “I have been…”

“Don’t,” Haru interrupted, “Thank you for bringing me here,” Haru whispered, “This place is amazing. But,” Haru got-up from his bed and pushed Makoto down on his, “You need to rest. I will never forgive you if you have an accident tomorrow because you are too tired.” Makoto managed a faint smile before giving into his desire for sleep.

 

* * *

 

They rigged-up a floating platform from which Makoto was supposed to freedive. They were going to use guide ropes, using which Makoto would pull himself down and pull himself up. Once down he had to float to the glass of the room inside which the model Hinamori would be waiting. All they had to do was put their hand against each other on either side of the glass and for them to look like they were in love. Makoto had very transparent goggles, with transparent straps and nosepiece to make it look as if he didn’t have goggles on at all. But they were still limited in how much focus they could put on Makoto’s face. Hinamori would have to do the heavy emoting and Haru for one, didn’t think she was capable of it at all.

Makoto dived once as a sort of practice and immediately knew he wouldn’t manage too many dives. So he really hoped they got the shots they needed soon. He was exhausted. He had a small, waterproof earpiece through which the photographer was giving him instructions.

“Okay, Makoto,” the photographer wasn’t Japanese and so had skipped straight to calling Makoto by his first name, “We are ready, Hinamori is in position,” Hinamori preferred being called by her last name, “Just dive down and place your hands against hers and look like you are gazing at the love of your life.”

Makoto turned to his side and gave Haru, who insisted on joining him at the floating platform, a long lingering gaze before taking in a deep, deep breath as he had been trained to do and dived down. Makoto kept Haru’s face in his mind as he dived. He found Hinamori and did as he was instructed. He was still thinking of Haru when he smiled faintly as he settled his gaze on Hinamori through the glass. Afterall, Haru was kind of the love his life, wasn’t he? Maybe they weren’t romantic, but they were soulmates, weren’t they?

“Good face,” came the photographers voice through the earpiece, Makoto had no idea if he meant Makoto himself or Hinamori but a good face was um… good.

Makoto’s lungs began to ache. He tapped on the glass to indicate he had reached his limited as agreed and headed-up.

“Again,” came the instruction, “I want a few more shots from a different angle.”

Taking just a moment to recover, Makoto dived again, his third dive including the practice one, “Again,” insisted the photographer, “Need more shots.”

Makoto compiled, and made his fourth dive. He made it halfway before aborting and heading-up, “Sorry,” he said to his handlers at the platform, before stealing a glance at Haru, “I think I need a break before I can dive again.”

The handlers nodded and sent a message to the photographer. “Did you remember your promise, Makoto?” asked Haru.

“Yeah,” admitted Makoto as Haru helped him on to the platform, “I probably could have forced myself but I remembered you made me promise to think of myself. Thinking of myself, it was probably best I had a break before diving again,” Haru rewarded him with a smile.

Makoto had to do four additional dives before the photographer was satisfied. He was exhausted but insisted that he and Haru ate at the hotel’s restaurant, which was located on the disc that sat on top of the waterline. They got to watch the sunset. But Makoto was yawning by the time dessert came around.

“Go to bed after,” Haru instructed.

“What about Haru?” wondered Makoto.

“I am going to visit the Meena Bazaar and look for souvenirs,” he replied.

“Eh! I wanted to go there too!” protested Makoto.

“We can go together tomorrow,” said Haru, tomorrow would be their last full day in Dubai but most importantly, Makoto was not working tomorrow and it was his last chance to see something of Dubai before heading back, “So I’ll do the annoying stuff today and find something to take back for Nagisa, Rei and Gou. Plus my gifts for Ren and Ran. Tomorrow you can look for something to take back for Ren and Ran.”

“Nothing for Rin?” wondered Makoto.

“We won’t see him to give him anything,” Haru pointed out.

“I’ll still get something,” said Makoto with a grin, “It would be mean otherwise.” Haru shrugged.

They parted and Makoto returned to their room and was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. He slept for about an two hours before waking somewhat refreshed. He splashed some water on his face and made himself some tea. For the first time since they moved to the underwater hotel, Makoto got a chance to simple sit and admire their surrounding.

It truly was an amazing place. He was glad he got to bring Haru here. He went to put away the tea stuff when he noticed Haru’s drawings. He didn’t think Haru would mind him looking at them, so he started to go through them. Marvelling at both Haru’s skill and the subject matter.

“Is this the house you want to live in, Haru-chan?” he wondered. He noticed the two bedrooms and immediately realised that the room with the aquarium was the room Haru wanted to sleep in.

However, he mistook the room Haru had intended to be the guest room to be his room. Because it simply did not occur to Makoto and Haru wanted to share a room, a bed with him. Makoto assumed that they would be sharing the house as housemates. Which is why the child’s bedroom went completely over his head and he dismissed it as Haru trying out different ideas.

Makoto put down the drawings and returned to his bed. But he lay awake thinking. He wanted to build that house for Haru. No, for them both because that was one way he could always be with Haru. Yet to build the house he would need a lot of money. The house would also be difficult and expensive to maintain because of the aquariums. He could build that house if he made it big. If he got somewhere in the world of fashion and entertainment. Shiori had spoken to him about branching out into music.

However, she had made it clear he couldn’t branch out into music without moving to Tokyo. Commuting between Iwatobi and Tokyo was barely okay with just modelling. No way he could do it while modelling and trying to break into music. Makoto also didn’t want to drop out of school. He had good grades, he didn’t see why he shouldn’t finish high school.

Shiori had told him about a high school in Tokyo which had flexible classes to accommodate working students. Including those in the entertainment industry. She assured him she could arrange a smooth transfer to that school for Makoto. Makoto would be able to be serious about this career he unexpectedly found himself in while finishing high school.

Makoto sighed, as he turned to look towards the desk where Haru’s drawing were. He wanted to build Haru’s dream house for Haru. Because he wanted to see Haru smile. To see Haru happy and since he wanted that, there was only one logical thing for him to do.

As if on cue Haru returned, “I am back,” Haru said softly as he entered the room.

“Welcome back, Haru-chan,” Makoto replied as he turned to Haru with a smile, “I have decided,” he added, moving to sit-up on the bed, “I am going to move to Tokyo for good.”

Even though Haru had been half expected it, even though Haru himself had encouraged him, it still came as a shock, a blow to the gut. Makoto was leaving, he was actually going to be leaving and Haru, Haru could say nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The game “Animal Crossing: Deep Sea” mentioned is from FrFr short 1 that was included with the first DVD volume. It’s apparently what Makoto and Haru play with Ran and Ren. As I said before, the underwater hotel is real but not yet built. If you want to see concept pictures and stuff, go [here](http://www.underwaterhoteldubai.org/).


	15. Chapter 15

Makoto packed-up and left Iwatobi with no immediate plans for return within two days of returning from Dubai. He had to since the spring holiday’s were just two weeks long and his dubai stay had ended-up being ten days long instead of the previously planned eight. Everything had been so rushed with tears, lots of tears from Ran and Ren and some from his mother too. Plus Haru had been silently upset and angry, Makoto was not sure why since Haru had encouraged him to go but Makoto had been too busy to think on and figure out Haru’s odd mood. In the end Haru had bid him a silent goodbye if only because Ran and Ren had given him the noisy, teary farewell Haru never could.

In all the rush, Makoto didn’t get a chance to tell Nagisa, Rei or Gou until he was onboard the train bound for Tokyo. His friends were beyond shocked and he was flooded with mixed messages wishing him luck but at the same time surprised and Nagisa’s outright accusing, “Are you abandoning Haru-chan! I am never forgiving you for this Mako-chan! I mean, its not like anyone else can make Haru-chan happy. I can cook mackerels for him for a lifetime and Haru-chan still wouldn’t love me like he does you! How could you do this to him! You meanie!”

Makoto was shaken and confused, what on earth was Nagisa on about? “I am not abandoning Haru. I would never abandon Haru! I am doing this so we can be together forever.”

“How?” demanded Nagisa, “I don’t get it! I never got it!” Nagisa finally admitted, “How is you becoming a distant star we only see in magazines, billboards and on TV going to help you and Haru-chan stay together forever?”

“Money,” replied Makoto pragmatically, “I am going to build Haru his dream house.”

“A beach shack with a double bed doesn’t take a lot of money,” Nagisa had replied.

“That’s not Haru’s dream house ^.^” Makoto had texted back, “Besides, if the beach shack only has one bed, I can’t share it with Haru. It’ll have to be at least a two bedroom beach shack, so we can live together. Besides, beachfront land costs a lot.”

“You are so dense Mako-chan!” Nagisa replied, “But never mind. That’s part of your charm. Good luck in Tokyo and remember, you promised not to forget us!”

“I won’t,” Makoto replied.

He closed his eyes and took a moment to centre himself, then reached into his duffle bag and pulled-out the drawing Haru had made in Dubai. He had asked Haru to keep them, Haru had been surprised and had wondered why. Makoto wasn’t ready to tell Haru he had made this house his long term goal and that everything he did from now on, he would do so he could build that house for Haru and for himself too. So instead Makoto had told Haru a half-truth and said he wanted them because they were pretty and he wanted to post them up in his dreary Tokyo apartment to cheer the place up a bit. Haru probably knew Makoto wasn’t being honest but he let it go and for that Makoto had been grateful.

Makoto put away the drawing. After a moments thought he decided to text Rin, “Hey, it looks like I’ll be making my home in Tokyo start, well today. Text me when you have some time and we can do something. I have a souvenir to give you from Dubai. I hope you’ll like it,” not expecting an immediate reply, Makoto put his phone away and decided to take a nap.

 

* * *

 

“We need a new captain!” Nagisa declared when the swim club finally got together.

“Rei,” Haru replied without missing a beat before heading towards the pool.

“But I have the least experience and Haruka-senpai is the vice-captain…” Rei started to say.

“Haru-chan’s personality doesn’t suit being captain,” replied Nagisa, “It has to be Rei-chan!”

“What about you Nagisa-kun?” wondered Rei.

“I am not captain material either! Best was Mako-chan but since he’s abandoned us, it has to be Captain Rainbow Rei!” Nagisa said enthusiastically.

“Rainbow Rei…” repeated Rei.

“Well that’s your superhero secret identity!” replied Nagisa as the conversation derailed, as conversations with Nagisa tended to do.

Meanwhile Haru trained, trained with a focus and determination he didn’t posses even when he was preparing to race Rin in the prefecture tournament or race in the relay during the regional tournament. But then again, if Haru lost this time, he would lose Makoto and that he was not prepared to do.

 

* * *

 

Makoto thought he would be very busy once he moved to Tokyo and have lots of jobs. He was dead wrong because Shiori decided Makoto would not longer be up for low profile catalogue jobs or even certain magazines. From now on, Makoto would only do mid to high-end fashion magazines, billboards and TV commercials for goods that were going to help his image. But Shiori was still accepting even small catwalk shows since Makoto needed more experience with those.

Unfortunately, what it all meant was that Makoto had less work in the short run and a very tight budget as a result if he didn’t want to go back to being massively in debt with the agency. However, Shiori instructed him to concentrate on school, keep in shape and most importantly work on some songs and booked out a studio so Makoto could record a proper demo, which did put him back in debt with the agency but that couldn’t be helped.

Makoto was thankful to have some time to adjust, especially now that he was actually living by himself and not treating his time in Tokyo as something of a stopover, but the whole money situation was beginning to worry him. He got a break on that front when the fashion house who made that “Seduction for Him” perfume Makoto had modelled for decided to use him on a limited run print ad for the seduction perfume but on a more extended print, billboard and TV commercial for a range of youth oriented body sprays and colognes. Between that and the Go Out magazine contract, Makoto was at least not going to starve. But he was still a long way off building Haru his dream house filled with water.

“Wait a bit Haru,” he whispered into the air of his silent and lonely apartment, “I’ll get there.”

 

* * *

 

They managed to recruit a few first years. Two of them swam breast and freestyle, the other back and butterfly. Rei and Nagisa were ecstatics. Haru was happy for them and the club, going so far as to give the two freestyler some pointers and tips but he made clear that he would not be swimming the relay with them. He was going to concentrate on the 50m, 100m and 200m sprints with the goal of becoming national champion.

Both Nagisa and Rei were upset that Haru wouldn’t be swimming with them in the medley relay but they were also surprised that Haru was being so serious about competitive swimming. It was no surprised then that when Rei found himself alone with Haru after the rest of the swim club had finished training and left, he said, “You have started to care about your time, Haruka-senpai.”

Haru didn’t reply, so Rei pushed on, “You don’t seem to be swimming free.”

“I am not free,” Haru replied.

“But  why not? Is it because Rin-san left for Tokyo?” Rei guessed, “Do you want to get into the National Team so you can swim with him again?” asked Rei.

“Don’t be silly Rei-chan!” Nagisa interrupted, popping out of nowhere. He had got out of his swim gear and was holding his backpack. Why he decided to come back into the pool area was anyones guess, “It’s cause Mako-chan left!”

Haru choose not to answer either of them and headed towards the starting block, he wanted to do one more lap. But Nagisa blocked his way and flat-out asked, “What I don’t understand Haru-chan is why you don’t just tell Mako-chan you are in love with him. I mean, he’s kind of wishy-washy but if you confessed…” Nagisa winked.

“Nagisa-kun!” chastised a flustered Rei.

“You used to be bullied in school right, Nagisa,” Haru said, seemingly randomly.

Nagisa blinked, “Yes.”

“Are you still bullied?”

“No, not really, why are you bringing this up, Haru-chan?” Nagisa wondered.

“Makoto is younger than me by a few months,” Haru pointed-out, although Nagisa and Rei already knew that, “So when we first became friends, he was physically less developed than me,” because when you are 4 years old, almost six months of extra growth makes a big difference, “So from the start, I protected him. From bullies who tried to take his orca plushie, from mean dogs, aggressive cats, held his hands during creepy situation we didn’t understand, anything and everything,” Haru managed a faint smile, “Though he is big and strong now and doesn’t need me to protect him from things he can fight with his muscles, he still clings to my shirt when things get scary in a way he can’t fight with his muscles. I am still his protector.”

Nagisa wanted to say something but swallowed it back, sensing there was more coming. “When we were in Middle-school, I kissed Makoto. It was the first kiss for both of us. I was…” Haru looked away, “Someone saw us. I don’t know who it was but someone saw us. One day, shortly after, I came to school and found my shoe locker filled with bits of paper with homophobic slurs, what looked like used condoms and other crap.”

“Haru-chan…”

“Haruka-senpai…”

“I didn’t care, at least not about myself,” he assured them, “But then I thought they might have done the same to Makoto’s locker. Thankfully he was late that day, having to take his siblings somewhere before school, and I could check his locker before he got to school. Sure enough, it too was filled with crap. I cleaned-up before Makoto got to school, I don’t think he ever found out.”

“Around the same time Zaki confessed to Makoto and they started dating. So after awhile things returned to normal but it taught me a valuable lesson. I can’t be with Makoto, Nagisa,” said Haru, “Without opening him up to irrational hate and anger. So I chose to protect him.”

“That’s… that’s not right Haru-chan!” protested Nagisa, “You can’t mean that! Are you really okay if Mako-chan finds some random girl and marries her and has annoying ugly kids with her!”

Haru didn’t reply. “Haruka-senpai,” started Rei, “It’s not that I don’t understand your reasons but Makoto-senpai, I think Makoto-senpai deserves to know how you feel.”

Haru sighed, “I have my limit,” admitted Haru, “Until I reach it, I want to give Makoto the chance to find another Zaki or even hook back-up with Zaki. I have to give Makoto the chance to be normal.”

“Haru-chan…” he was sad at first but then Nagisa smiled and hugged Haru, “You really are great! Mako-chan is so lucky!”

“Indeed,” agreed Rei, “But, but I think Haruka-senpai and Makoto-senpai would be beautiful together. So I hope all girls stay away from Makoto-senpai!” Having used-up his word reserve, Haru just smiled at them both.

 

* * *

 

It was happening again and Rin didn’t know why. He trained every day but he wasn’t making any progress. The head coach was trying to teach him new form for his butterfly but Rin couldn’t seem to grasp it and because he was working on his form, his time was dropping. Then there was the teasing in the locker room.

“Hey Matsuoka, make sure you don’t line-up with the Australians,” said one of his senpais, “Well, that is assuming you make it to a tournament.”

Rin bit his lips and held his tongue. He didn’t regret swimming with his friends in the regionals. He had needed it and would be forever grateful to Rei for giving him the chance and for Mikoshiba for shielding him from more dire consequences for his action. But… it appeared he would have to put-up with the snide remarks because of his actions for the foreseeable future.

Rin sighed and pulled out his phone and read again Makoto’s message. He never did get back to Makoto with a time to meet. Perhaps that’s what he needed. A little bit of distraction from his arduous training routine and the monotony of his school work.

“If you are free, let’s meet this saturday,” Rin texted to Makoto, “There is a movie I want to see. It’s in english but your english is good and besides, its not really a movie you have to follow the dialogue in.”

“Sure thing,” Makoto replied back in a few minutes, “Looking forward to it!”

They met-up on Saturday and first thing Makoto did was present Rin with his souvenir from Dubai. It was a wallet made of shark skin, “Arabian carpetshark,” explained Makoto, “Don’t worry, they aren’t an endangered species or anything. I checked!”

“Thanks,” replied Rin, putting it away, then grinned, “Appropriate theme given the movie we are going to watch.”

“Which is?”

“Sharknado! They are showing it at a small cinema nearby that specialises in foreign films,” Rin looked-up to see Makoto with a look of terror on his face, “Don’t worry, it’s not scary so much as goofy. At least that’s what I heard.”

“Ah, great!” Makoto replied, reassured.

Unfortunately, as ridiculous as Sharknado was, it still had more blood and gore  then Makoto was comfortable with. He ended-up cling to Rin and hiding his face in Rin’s arm, a lot. Rin decided he was going to make a point of watching more “scary for Makoto at least” movies with Makoto. Still, he did feel bad about scaring Makoto like that. So after the movie Rin suggested they go to a Cat Cafe. Makoto readily agreed.

There was something unbearably cute about watching Makoto play with a cat. Rin sipped his bubble tea and watch Makoto pet cats and found himself more relaxed and happy then he had been in weeks. “Let’s do this again,” Rin suggested, “Sometime soon too!”

“Eh? Even though I disturbed you during the movie?” wondered Makoto.

“Are you kidding, watching you be terrified was half the fun!” Rin replied honestly.

Makoto pouted, “That’s mean.”

“Oh make that face again,” Rin asked as he pulled out his mobile, “I want to take a picture.” Makoto just laughed and returned his attention to the cat, Rin took a picture anyway. “This is going straight to Mako-chan fan forums.”

“Eh?”

“Just kidding,” Rin assured him but then he smirked, “Or am I…” Makoto pouted, Rin took another picture, “There we go! A cute picture of Makoto pouting! My day is now complete!”

Makoto laughed again. They left shortly after. The next day in training Rin suddenly got the techniques his coach was trying to teach him. He managed it so well that he even started working on his speed by the end of the session. It was the first good day he had, had in training for weeks now. Rin decided he really did need to start seeing Makoto on a regular basis, purely for swimming reasons of course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn’t going to reveal Haru’s reasons for holding back until much, much later but then I realised that since this isn’t a mystery novel, there isn’t really any good reason to hold back on Haru’s motivation. Especially since not revealing it will just make people wonder why Haru doesn’t just kiss Makoto senseless when Makoto is being uber oblivious.


	16. Chapter 16

Makoto-Senpai, I hope you are doing well. Haruka-senpai mentioned you were overworked and feeling out of energy in Dubai. I imagine it’s getting worse now that you are in Tokyo, especially since I know your mother used to cook all your meals and make your bento. So I have taken the liberty to research and compile a list of nutritionally balanced recipes that should also provide you with prolonged energy. I hope you will find these useful.

-Rei

 

Thanks Rei! They came in really handy because I am not much of a cook and have been eating convenience store food more than I should. These recipes are easy to cook and tasty, so they have been great. I had a little difficulty with baking the fruit and nut bars but Rin helped me with those. He actually changed the recipe a bit and put in honey, lots of honey. I was afraid it would ruin the nutrition balance you carefully researched but Rin assures me that his “Rin Matsuoka patent pending fruit and nut energy bars” were just perfect and I should just shut-up and eat them. They do taste better with honey and I carry a bunch with me to snack between jobs. Really helps as I often don’t get time to eat properly while working. Thanks again.

-Makoto

 

Rei: Haruka-senpau, um… Rin-san and Makoto-senpai seems to have grown close.

Haru: Yes, Makoto and Rin hang-out almost every weekend.

Rei: And you are not worried?

Haru: Why should I be worried?

Rei: Ah, never mind. I am overthinking things. I am cheering for you senpai!

Haru: Thanks…

 

* * *

 

Mako-chan! Why did you leave! Now Rei-chan’s captain and it’s a nightmare! He’s making the first years memorise theory! He even made a Iwatobi SC handbook full of theories on swimming and teamwork AND, get this, philosophy of beauty and the beautiful swimming stroke! He’s weirding out the first years and it’s all your fault! (>.<)

-Nagisa

 

Ah, sorry about that Nagias. But a handbook is probably not a bad idea. I mean, a team having a guiding philosophy could help with the teamwork. I think our philosophy was always friendship above all but we had a history that meant we could express that philosophy easily. So maybe Rei’s handbook might help the first years know where we are coming from. They can then change things to suit themselves so the Iwatobi SC isn’t something they inherit but create, together as a team.

Oi, Nagisa, it’s Rin. I hijacked Makoto’s laptop to just add that, that was fucking deep! You should listen to your wise jedi former captain!

<message sent>

Sorry about that Nagisa! Rin hit send so I couldn’t delete anything he added. You don’t have to listen to me. I am not there, so I can’t judge the situation properly. Just give Rei a chance. Okay?

-Makoto

 

Nagisa: Haru-chan! I think Mako-chan is dating Rin-chan! You should totally do something about that.

Haru: They are not dating. They just hang-out on the weekends.

Nagisa: But Haru-chan!

Haru: Nagisa, don’t worry about it. Makoto doesn’t have feelings for Rin and I doubt Rin feels anything for Makoto. It’s inconceivable.

Nagisa: If you say so.

 

* * *

 

Gou: Onii-chan! What are you doing this weekend? I hope its something fun!

Rin: Makoto and I are going to the Vampire Cafe.

Gou: Didn’t you and Makoto-senpai go out last weekend?

Rin: Yeah, we went to a fish place. Makoto got sad over the mackerel selection. Annoyed the hell out of me!

Gou: Ah! He was missing Haruka-senpai!

Rin: <sends eye roll emoticon>

Gou: That’s mean!

Rin: Anyway, long story short. I am never taking Makoto to a fish place again.

Gou: You sound like a jealous boyfriend.

Rin: I am not jealous of Haru!

Gou: Wait… you didn’t deny the boyfriend part! Are you two dating?!?!!!

Rin: Don’t be an idiot! I don’t have the time and Makoto management wants him to remain single and available for the foreseeable future. We are just friends who like hanging out with each other.

Gou: How much more time do you need? You seem to be going out on dates every weekend?

Rin: Gou we do not go on dates! There is no obligation or expectation between us. Makoto can cancel last minute and sometimes he does because he has to work. I have a steadier schedule but the option is there. We don’t have to do anything special and can just turn-up wearing whatever, smelling like whatever. It’s a totally different feel to properly dating.

Gou: I don’t get it.

Rin: Small example, if Makoto and I were actually dating, I would get jealous and pissed when he starts ignoring me in the middle of dinner because Haru randomly decided to call!

Rin: I mean, Haru didn’t even talk, just made Makoto have an almost one-sided conversation describing his day! It was so freaking annoying! Especially since Makoto got all sad and guilty afterwards, figuring Haru was lonely. Cha! My mood is turning foul just remembering it.

Gou: You are so totally dating Makoto-senpai…

Rin: No I am not! Geez!

Gou: Still, that’s pretty rude even between friends. Can’t imagine Makoto-senpai wasn’t all guilty for ignoring you for Haruka-senpai.

Rin: He made up for it the week after by renting Dredd, in English too! The gore was a bit much for Makoto and he ended-up hiding behind my back, a lot. Good times.

Gou: And how would that have been different if you guys were dating?

Rin: You're my little sister! I am totally not going to discuss with you what I would have gotten Makoto to do to me or let me do to him, straight after he was done talking to Haru to make-up for totally ignoring me.

Gou: O.O I am going to totally put that as a fanfic prompt on the MakoRin section of Makoto-senpai’s fan form!

Rin: Gou seriously! Do not feed the fujoshi!

Gou: But it’s so much fun! Especially the fanart! So much muscles!

<Rin Matsuoka is now offline>

 

* * *

 

Makoto: Hey Rin. I am so sorry! But I can’t go to the Vampire Cafe with you this saturday. Shiori-san invited me to her house for dinner. He husband is apparently a big time music exec and he’s going to be home for the weekend (he travels a lot). She wants me to meet him. I guess she decided she couldn’t push me on my own talents and has resorted to nepotism. ^.^

Rin: You are totally over thinking it. In the world of showbiz and fashion, or even sports sponsorship, talent isn’t enough. It’s all about who you know. Just be thankful Yamagami is married to a music exec.

Makoto: Thanks Rin. Hey, why don’t you go to my apartment anyway. You have the spare key right? Just let yourself in if I am not there and well make yourself at home and stay the night. We’ll go somewhere for breakfast.

Rin: And go watch a movie! A vampire movie and then we can go have lunch at the vampire cafe!

Makoto: Are you trying to kill me?

Rin: What? Kill my sweet Mako-chan? Never! I just enjoy watching your terrified face!

Makoto: You are so mean!

Rin: But you love me anyway!

Makoto: Why did I ever agree to swim in the relay for you?

Rin: Because I was a cute and adorable 12 year old and you couldn’t say no to my cute and adorable face.

Makoto: You’re incorrigible.

Rin: That I am!

Makoto: ^.^ See you tonight.

Rin: I’ll probably be asleep by the time you get home.

Makoto: I’ll still see you ^.^ Talk to you tomorrow but see you tonight.

Rin: Whatever!

Rin read back the chat log, “Fuck!” he said to himself, “That totally read like a conversation between boyfriends!” He sighed as he he made a point of deleting the chat history, “I am so fucked!” because he had fallen for Makoto and fallen rather hard.

Absently Rin wondered if Makoto ever read the chat history between himself and Rin back and noted how like a couple they sounded. But then remembered he was talking about Makoto who grew-up with Haruka and never really had a close male friend apart from Haruka and Rin himself. To Makoto, this sort of conversation was probably normal. Makoto wouldn’t be able to pick-up on the fact that Rin was head over heels in love with him. Rin honestly did not know if he was happy or unhappy with Makoto’s obliviousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cheating chapter but I hope it was still enjoyable. I wanted to explain that I used Rin Matsuoka as opposed to Matsuoka Rin because I figured that in informal situations such as naming snack bars and logging into chat programs, Rin probably does use the anglicized version of his name because of his time spent overseas. So it’s something unique to Rin and I won’t be using it with other characters or even with Rin when he’s being talked about by Japanese characters or introducing himself to Japanese characters.


	17. Chapter 17

Shiori had work with one of the other “talents” on her list and so Makoto was told to make his own way to her apartment by 7:30 PM for working dinner with Shiori and her husband Yoshino. He was a bit nervous and wished he could have asked Rin to come with him. But dragging his friends to places for his own selfish needs was something he was trying to avoid doing. Afterall, he didn’t want his friends to start hating him for being a needy, clingy sort of person. He didn’t exactly a have a lot of friends to begin with and it was hard for him to make friends. Oh he was friendly and attracted people but he was hesitant to call a person his friend. It was not a title he bestowed easily and that was probably a defect on his part.

Probably his bar was too high, his criteria for what constituted a friend warped by his years with Haru. Come to think of it, before Nagisa and Rin, Haru and to a lesser extent Zaki were the only people who Makoto would have referred to as his friend. Everybody else were classmates or clubmates and he loved them all but… Makoto wasn’t sure where he was going with this. He just knew that there was a line he had that most people in his life never crossed into becoming his friend. Even now, his friends constituted of Nagisa, Rei, Gou, Rin and yes, Zaki.

Even though he had not had any contact with her except for New Years cards she was still a friend. Because he knew, just knew that she was someone he could call in the middle of the night, messed-up and broken and she wouldn’t turn him away. That’s what his grandfather had told him about what a friend was, the person who doesn’t turn you away or turn from you when you are at your lowest. That’s why Haru was so special, he was the one person Makoto could always rely on but Makoto was fairly confident that the people he called his friends now, would also come to his aid in the middle of the night. But hopefully he would never have to find out.

As he was thinking these things, he arrived at apartment complex the penthouse of which Shiori shared with her husband. It was one of those super expensive places with a security guard and everything. Said security guard was currently arguing with a disheveled looking man who was as out of place the sleek, pristine and expensive environment as a stray piece of trash.

“Please! She knows me! Just let me speak to her,” he begged in a broken sounding voice.

“No, absolutely not! I was left strict instructions not to disturb the Yamagami-san except for the guest she’s expecting, you are not the guest she’s expecting,” the man replied with finality.

“How do you know I am not who she’s expecting?” the man challenged.

“Because my daughter is a Mako-chan fan and so I know what he looks like and he’s standing behind you,” replied the middle-aged security guard, “Please go ahead Mako-chan, you are expected. I have called the elevator to the penthouse for you.”

“Than… thank you,” replied Makoto, not entirely comfortable with the idea of a Middle-aged man randomly called him Mako-chan to his face. Why his fans insisted on calling him Mako-chan was beyond him but Shiori assured him that as nicknames went that was a good one.

Makoto started to turn away when the disheveled man suddenly grabbed him and Makoto found himself looking at the man’s face as opposed to the back of his dirty hair covered head. Makoto recoiled in horror at the sight of the hideously cut-up face!

The man had clearly once been quite good looking, there were traces of that in the unmarked jaw and right upper side of his face. But his entire left side, his nose and a good chunk of his right side were cover in scars. It’s as if someone had taken a razor to the man’s face. Makoto was appalled.

“You,” the man started, “You are one of Shiori-san’s talents, right? Can you help me? I have to see her! I just have to!”

“Let go of him!” the security guard barked, “I am going to call the police if you don’t get your dirty hands off him and leave this place at once.”

But the man was undeterred, “Please! I don’t need long, just 10 minutes will do!”

“Ah…” was all Makoto managed as he tried to dislodge the man’s hand, that was gripping his sleeves for dear life, “I will let Shiori-san know you were here, umm…”

“Shinji,” the man identified him.

“Wait Shinji? As in the guy who killed himself and left his parents in debt?” blurted out Makoto before realising how absurd the statement was given Shinji was most certainly NOT dead. Although with a face like that, Makoto wouldn’t be surprised if Shinji was a ghost… a thought that promptly served to terrify Makoto and he found himself exerting real strength to pull away from Shinji and back away.

“Feh, Shinji is like a cockroach. He doesn’t die,” came Shiori’s voice. She was running late and was just coming into the building, “Want to know the real story Makoto?” she wondered but before Makoto could reply she continued, “This idiot boy right here is walking example of why you shouldn’t do drugs. All he had going for him was his looks and a small smidgen of talent in music and composition but he goes and gets himself addicted to all sort of junk, slices-up his own face during a bad trip of the gods only know what and of course, renders himself useless to the company as a model and a performer,” she glared at Shinji, “I go out of my way to find him work as a songwriter because I took pity on him and the crippling debt the agency was going to saddle him with and what does he do? He hooks the lead singer of the band he was writing for on party drugs, on which the singer overdosed and died!”

“He was already taking stuff,” Shinji protested, “I just sold him a few pills from time to time. Including,” he admitted reluctantly “The stuff he oded on but that wasn’t my fault! He took too much.”

“That doesn’t make it any better!” Shiori pointed out annoyed, “Anyway, his parents, who were not rich, sold everything they had to clear him of debt and then committed suicide together because they were retired and literally just had enough money left for funeral expenses.”

Makoto was horrified. He didn’t know which version of the story was worse but he was at least glad that Shiori wasn’t responsible for ruining Shinji’s career. He liked Shiori and so it was nice to know that she was in fact a very nice person who had gone out of her way to try and help Shinji by getting him a job as a songwriter.

“I know I screwed-up!” said Shinji, “And lost everything but I am trying to turn things around and I have just the song to help me do it! It’s gold! Total gold and it’ll be a #1 hit!”

“Forget it!” said Shiori, “You had plenty of chances and I am not giving you another one. No matter how good your song is, you are unmarketable as a singer and your voice isn’t what it used to be anyway. I am NOT trusting you around another of my young charges.”

“But its good! Just listen,” Shinji begged, Shiori huffed and turned away, motioning Makoto to follow but Shinji dropped to his knees and begged, “Please!”

“Should I throw him out?” asked the security guard pitilessly, having overheard the story, he had no sympathises for Shinji.

“Yes!” said Shiori.

“Ah,” Makoto looked at Shinji, who looked so, so broken and pitiable. He couldn’t help but speak-up for him, “Shiori-san, maybe he can um… sing a bar or two? You can throw him out after but um…” he didn’t know what else to say.

Shiori stopped and huffed a bit, and turned towards Makoto as the guard moved to drag Shinji away. Panicking Shinji decided to just start singing, “Days of ever free confusions/ come through my heart/ until the moment I look away from them,” it appeared to be a sad song, at least that’s how it sounded given the melody Shinji was singing it in as he resisted the guard who was doing his best to drag Shinji away, “A maelstrom not like the usual/ Tormented in inferiority just the way I want it/ The momentary shots of fake scenes/ Will they be watered down?” he continued, “That blinded past/ What was it for me? / They took it away / Without letting me even say goodbye.”

Shiori rolled her eyes, “Pathetic and unusable! You have lost your final talent, Shinji! Give it up already.”

Shinji did give-up, his body going slack and suddenly the guard finding it easy to drag him towards the door. Makoto felt his heart wench at the sight, “The… the lyrics seems good,” he offered sheepishly, “But maybe the melody needs to be different. Perhaps um… a bit more rock? Like,” and Makoto proceeded to sing the lyrics, most of which he picked-up even after only hearing it once, in his strong voice to a rock beat.

Shinji gaped, the guard had stopped dragging him away because he had stopped to listen to Makoto and Shiori, Shiori looked angry and annoyed. Because she knew a “side A” song when she heard one and as sung by Makoto, that was a side A song! This had been a problem because the songs Makoto himself had written, were kind of side B songs or second or third release singles from an album. They were NOT strong debut singles. This however… Shiori turned towards Shinji and said, her voice harsh and her face dark, “Shinji, if you give Makoto drugs, even once...” the didn’t voice the threat out loud, but it was there, in her looks and in the air.

“I am clean now! I swear!” said Shinji.

“On what Shinji?” wondered Shiori, “You don’t have anything you can swear on. No honour, no family and if you ever had a god they surely abandoned you. So save your breath,” she turned away, “Come on Makoto, we have dinner waiting. Fuwa-san,” Shiori addressed the security guard, “Please let Shinji wait here for a bit. I might have to call him-up later this evening.”

Makoto felt a little bad about going to dinner while Shinji stood in a corner and waited but it was Shiori’s house and she was allowed to invite or not invite whoever she liked. On the elevator ride up, Makoto offered, “I am not going to take drugs, Shiori-san.”

Shiori sighed, “I am sure you think that now but a debut single is just step one. A music contract usually includes a full album and yours certainly will. So you might end-up working with Shinji for weeks, months, putting together songs for the album. During that time you might be stressed or tired or whatever. Shinji’s solution to everything is to pop pills and I don’t care how clean he claims to be. He’s incapable of being clean. Are you sure you’ll be able to resist temptation every single time?” she asked.

“Um…” Makoto wasn’t sure, “Well um…”

“Once you take it once,” said Shiori, “What stops you from taking it a second time? When again you are a stressed or tired or whatever? Third time? Fourth time? Plus if you can’t tell by his face, Shinji doesn’t exactly quality control his stuff. So far as you can quality control junk like that. A tainted batch is all you need to end-up like Shinji.” she sighed, “I am kind of hoping you are too much of an angel to be a corrupted by a deeply flawed and troubled human like Shinji,” said Shiori, “Don’t prove me wrong Makoto. I really don’t want to be visiting hospitals for your sake or worse, attending your funeral.”

 

* * *

 

Makoto and Shiori’s husband, Yoshino, talked about random things during dinner. About school, about Makoto’s interests, about his water loving friend Haru and how Makoto wanted to build a house with wall to wall aquariums for himself and Haru to share for the rest of their lives and about Rin and his quest to become an Olympian and be world champion. “Swimming is a big thing for you,” noted Yoshino.

“I love it,” admitted Makoto, “Not the competitive side of it but more swimming with my friends.”

“I signed him up to train with a professional swim club near where he lives,” explained Shiori, “I figured it would be best for his modelling brand to keep his swimmers physic and not transition to a generic muscular body like every other muscle bound model. Easier to differentiate.”

Yoshino nodded, “Maybe that can be a theme for the debut single too.”

“Maybe,” said Shiori, she took a deep breath and broke the news of Shinji’s potential involvment to Yoshino.

“Living dangerously aren’t we,” commented Yoshino dryly, “Or maybe just tempting fate. Tachibana-kun is what, 17?” Makoto nodded, “17 year old with the invincibility complex that 17 year old usually have, living away from his family and friends, having to balance school, his career, the fame, fandom and then working closely with an agent of corruption such as Shinji…” he gave Shiori a look.

Shiori sighed, “I know, I know,” they both looked at Makoto.

“I’ll be fine!” Makoto reassured quickly, “I mean, my friends and family are all supporting me, even though only Rin is here with me. Plus I also want to continue to look my siblings in the eye, so I won’t do anything that will set a bad example to them. Plus, plus I am glad to be able to give Shinji-san a chance to turn his life around again. I am sure he won’t do anything to ruin his chances.”

Yoshino snorted, “I don’t know whether to call you innocent or naive. Doesn’t matter, if Shinji’s face doesn’t deter you from taking from him whatever he might end-up offering you, nothing will save you.”

After dinner Yoshino had Makoto sing the songs he had written and agreed with Shiori that they were good but not debut singles. He then had Makoto sing the few verses of Shinji’s song and proceeded to grudgingly call Shinji up. Shinji at this point had been waiting for two hours but he didn’t complain and proceeded to give Makoto the full lyrics.

“This is kind of depressing,” Makoto commented.

“It’s about me losing everything,” said Shinji.

“Well Tachibana-kun hasn’t lost anything,” Yoshino pointed out, “In fact his life is just starting. So, Tachibana-kun, what would you change to make the song more about you?”

Makoto read the lyrics once, twice and randomly thought about Rin and all the rage he had bottled-up inside of him rooted in his feelings of inadequacy and frustration, because he couldn’t be what he wanted to be. The depressing lyrics of the song, especially about looking at the past when Rin had felt like he could do everything and anything he wanted sort of fit with the depressing lyrics already written.

Then Makoto thought of Haru and how Haru was always a shining light that light that had attracted them all. Haru’s light had helped Rin find his way, had been a guiding beacon all of Makoto’s life, attracted Rei and was what Nagisa chased so he could bask in it. It wasn’t about him per say but that is what Makoto wanted to sing about, he wanted to sing about his friends about seeing sights they had never seen before.

“Rage on until the moment / when you’ll sharply look away from the dazzling light / The sun is blazing on my flavor / I’m lost with nowhere else to be / What I want, what was it I was after? / To find delight in this silence / Flying toward the future I’m searching for / Chasing after the birds / The hand I outstretched connected / To a scenery I’ve never seen before,” offered Makoto, “That can go after the first few verses. But maybe we can add another verse after the first too,” suggested, “So that the hopefulness doesn’t come as a surprise, at least that’s what I think.”

 

Yoshino turned to Shiori, “Sure we want to risk Tachibana-kun with Shinji?”

 

“I am not going to do anything to him!” Shinji protested.

 

“Make sure you don’t,” warned Shiori. The night ended with Yoshino agreeing to give a recording contract to Makoto. Shinji would write some songs for Makoto, they would work on the songs together and of course, Makoto himself was to write a bunch of songs himself and they would record what he had already written and decide on what goes in and what doesn’t at the appropriate time.

 

“For an album,” Yoshino explained, “You usually record double the number of songs that are actually included and then you pick and choose to create a them. For you, let’s go with youth, friendship and coming from a coastal town and loving to swim. Not all the songs have to be happy. In fact I would prefer a variety. Coastal towns do have their share of tragedies,” Makoto nodded, so Yoshino stopped and gave him an opening.

 

Taking the hint Makoto explained, “When I was young there was a big Typhoon that claimed the lives of many fishermen. An old man I befriended died, my friend Rin’s father died and I… I sort of became afraid of the water, of the Ocean because I could not comprehend how they could die just 3 km off the coast. For a long time, I swam in a fashion where I was trying to run away from the water. But I have,” Makoto smiled, “I have since gotten better.”

 

“Maybe a song about that might be interesting,” commented Yoshino, “But its late, so enough discussion about that. Shiori will no doubt fill you in as the contracts become fixed and Shinji,” now Yoshino was giving Shinji a warning glance, “Is not a novice at recording albums. Just don’t take everything he says in face value.”

 

“I am not going to do anything to him,” Shinji protested again, again his protests fell on deaf ears.

 

* * *

 

Makoto barely made the last train and stumbled into his six tatami apartment pretty late. Two futons had already been laid and he could see Rin’s sleeping form in one. Rin was using the futon Makoto had bought for Haru, when he came to stay with Makoto, but Rin had personalised it with his own pillow. Makoto smiled and carefully went to kitchen to get himself some ice tea from the fridge.

 

As he half expected, the fridge, which had been empty that morning, was filled with groceries. Usually if Rin was coming over to have dinner at Makoto’s apartment and stay the night, he and Makoto met at the train station and they went together to the supermarket near the station to do Makoto’s weekly grocery shopping and buy extra food for dinner. Rin had started to eat the herculean quantities of food needed by a professional athlete and so they had to buy extra otherwise Makoto would have to go shopping mid week. Without fail they fought over the payment at the cashier. Makoto insisted on paying for everything while Rin complaining that it was because of him that Makoto had to buy extra food so he should at least get to pay for that. Makoto usually won that argument, pointing out that Rin would be the one cooking.

 

Which is what usually happened the weekends they stayed in. Makoto was a pretty basic cook. Through out the week he ate brown or white rice, steamed vegetable with chicken or pork lightly fried or curried using store bought curry powder. Makoto also batch baked the dried fruit and nut bars he snacked on, on sunday night and those were about the most complex things he made.

 

Rin on the other hand was a fan of a show called “Master Chef” while living in Australia and took home economics while in Australia just to have access to a proper kitchen so he could try and cook the dishes he saw on the show. He also cooked when he came to visit his mother and Gou but Samezuka hadn’t had a kitchen where Rin could cook and neither did the Tokyo dorm he now lived in. So instead, Rin indulged in his love of cooking in Makoto’s kitchen. Cooking-up elaborate dishes whenever they stayed-in for dinner.

 

Makoto thought Rin cooking all those delicious dishes for him to enjoy more than made-up for Makoto always being the one to pay for groceries and usually being the one to pay for dinner when they went out but every now and again, like today, Rin stocked Makoto’s fridge when he knew Makoto wouldn’t have time to go shopping on saturday afternoon as he normally did. The simple gesture make Makoto very happy although Makoto was not sure why. He supposed it was nice to know Rin was thinking about him.

 

Makoto stood in the kitchen drinking his tea, when from the main area drifts in Rin’s sleepy voice, “How did it go?” he wondered.

 

“Sorry, for waking you,” Makoto replied, “I think it went well. I have a music contract now.”

 

“Congratulations,” Rin mumbled sleepily, sitting-up, “I knew you would get it. Damn you and your talented voice!”

 

“You never heard me sing!” Makoto pointed out, coming to sit near Rin.

 

“I don’t have to,” replied Rin, “If you weren’t talented, Yamagami wouldn’t be trying to push you into becoming a music star,” he rubbed his eyes sleepily.

 

The only source of light in the room was a night light near the entrance but it was enough to show that Rin was still wearing his street clothes and Makoto’s nose told him Rin hadn’t bathed yet. “Were you trying to stay awake and wait for me?”

 

Rin blushed and hoped the room was too dark for Makoto to notice, “You had a big meeting. I wanted to hear all about it. But ah…” Rin turned away.

 

“Go have your bath, Rin,” said Makoto, a little amused, “You must have been training all day and then hauled my grocery all by yourself. You must be exhausted. I am glad you body knows what’s good for it, even if you don’t.”

 

Rin glared, “How do you know I didn’t bathe before I came?”

 

“I know what you smell like when you have bathed before coming,” Makoto replied with a smile, “Old Spice, that’s your brand right?” Rin blushed more and hoped that night light would go out because he really didn’t want Makoto to notice how red his face was, “I always wondered about that. Old Spice is a bit umm… old fashioned for people our age isn’t it?” Makoto finished a little sheepishly.

 

There was a pause before Rin said simply, “It was my father’s brand,” Makoto blinked and immediately felt awful for bringing it up but Rin continued, “I mean, at least I think it was his brand. Not that I remember what he smelt like. Well I remember he smelt like fish when he came home but I don’t remember him always smelling like fish. After he died, I found bottles of old spice in what used to be my parents room in my grandmother’s house. The room was locked-up after my father died and my mom moved us to Sano prefecture because of her job. So I assumed the bottles belonged to my dad. I liked the scent, so when I grew old enough to buy stuff for myself, I started wearing it. Kind of lame if you think about it.”

 

“Of course not!” Makoto quickly said, “You are trying to be close to your father in the only ways you can and that’s… romantic,” even as he said that Makoto knew he had the title for the song he was supposed to write about the summer Typhoon tragedy in Iwatobi - Old Spice.

 

“Can you really use the word romantic like that?” wondered Rin, his tone teasing.

 

Makoto laughed, “I don’t know, it’s late!”

 

“Go have your bath first, I had…” Makoto’s phone vibrated, since he started receiving calls Shiori and other people at his agency and not just calls from his family and Haru, he had started to keep his phone on vibrate all the time. But in the small room, the phones vibrations could be clearly heard by Rin and not just felt by Makoto.

 

“It’s Haru,” said Makoto, his face lighting-up like it tended to do when Haru was involved.

 

Rin stifled a sigh, “I’ll have my bath first I guess,” he said as he headed to the bathroom. Rin doubted Makoto heard him because Makoto’s full attention was arrested by Haru the moment his name popped-up on Makoto’s cellphone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I… have no idea why I just gave Rin cooking as a hobby. Also, yes this part is different from how Makoto is usually portrayed in fanfiction because people seem to assume Makoto makes Haru bentos and stuff like that but both in the Drama CD and FrFr short its made clear the Makoto doesn’t actually do much, if any, cooking. His mother cooks all his meals and Haru usually makes his own bento, unless he is sleeping over at Makoto’s house in which case Makoto’s mother makes him a bento. Makoto did offer Haru squid he got from a neighbour in episode 1 because Haru didn’t have a bento but that’s about it. I am pretty sure when it comes to food, its actually Haru who probably ends up making Makoto bento and cooking his meals if Makoto’s mother isn’t around. Makoto is just not nearly as domesticated as people think he is.
> 
>  
> 
> Just in case you guys didn’t figure it out, the lyrics are from Rage On but i did leave lines and stuff out as at this point the song is not what we know and love. That will happen later as Shinji and Makoto work on it together.


	18. Chapter 18

Makoto: When is the prefectural tournament? It’s been moved-up hasn’t it.

Haru: You can’t come.

Makoto: But I want to see Haru swim!

Haru: You can’t come.

Makoto: But why not?

Makoto: Haru?

Makoto: Why not?

Makoto: Haru!

Haru: I miss you.

Makoto: Haru…

Haru: I don’t want to see you just for a few hours.

Makoto: I would be there for a few days.

Haru: Or a few days.

Makoto: I think I understand. But I am thinking of coming down to see my family for a week or so during summer. I hope you won’t avoid me then.

Haru: I’ll avoid you.

Makoto: Eh!

Haru: This is not a joke Makoto. It really hurts not having you with me.

Makoto: I am sorry Haru. But it’ll be worth it in the end! Well, I hope so anyway. I am working hard on my debut single. Its a good song and I always think of you and Rin when I work on it.

Haru: Me and Rin?

Makoto: Yep. The chorus is “Rage on until the moment when you’ll sharply look away from the dazzling light”. You’re the light Haru and Rin was raging not because of you but because he couldn’t be the light or so I felt. That’s why I think of you guys when I sing.

Haru: Makoto you scare me sometimes.

Makoto: Scare you?

Haru: My dreams have always been very... domestic, I guess is the word. Unlike Rin who dreams of the world. I kind of feel as if you are becoming like Rin, dreaming so big that I… can’t keep-up.

Makoto: Don’t worry Haru. I am not dreaming of the world. I am just dreaming of a house filled with fish and water that I can share with Haru forever.

Haru: Makoto, don’t say things like that when I can’t see you face. I might get the wrong idea.

Makoto: Huh? Um… okay. Sorry, Haru-chan.

Haru: Drop the chan.

Makoto: ^.^

Haru put away his phone and curled-up into a tight little ball. It was all getting a bit too much. The absence of Makoto, the random statements from Makoto that sounded like confessions but were not, each news of Makoto’s progressing career that filled him with fear when he should be being a good friend and wishing Makoto well in the very least, and Rin was not helping matter.

Haru did not for a minute believe Rin was falling for Makoto. How could he? Rin didn’t see Makoto. Makoto was just one of “the guys” to Rin. Isn’t that how Rin always lumps Makoto, Nagisa and Rei together when they run into each other? Even at the crab festival it was “Hey, Haru,” followed by, “The rest of you guys are here, too.” No, to Rin Makoto was just a background character not worth his notice. Sure they were hanging out now but it was probably because Rin was bored and being Rin, had no issues using Makoto alleviate his boredom. Rin would probably lose all interest in Makoto once Haru got to Tokyo. However, that didn’t mean Haru wasn’t jealous of the time Rin got to spend with Makoto. Time Makoto would be spending with Haru if they were back to living in the same city.

 

Haru sighed, and rolled over. At least he was not helplessly waiting. He had things he could do that would return him to his rightful place by Makoto’s side. First up, next weeks prefecture tournament. Haru would win all his events. Place in the top 8 for 50m, 100m and 200m. Then he would with the regionals and the nationals. So he could move to Tokyo and be with Makoto. That’s all he wanted right now. To be back besides Makoto.

 

* * *

“Yamagami, I need bodies! Who do you have free?” one of Shiori’s colleagues demanded over the phone, sounding somewhat panicked.

 

“Male/female? What age? Any physical characteristics?” asked Shiori calmly.

“Young males and buff, that’s why I am calling you!” her colleague responded irritably. Shiori resisted the urge to point out that two of her five clients were female of the waif physical variety. Her colleague continued, “It’s that damn ‘Warrior: Hundred Blades’ production, the director just mass fired a bunch of the bit part actors and extras in a fit of rage. It’s a disaster! We now need to quickly find about ten samurai retainers. Who do you have who could pass for a samurai?”

“Tachibana and Toko, would hit the part and are free,” Shiori thought, “But Tachibana is currently auditioning for a commercial job, it should be a formality and I don’t know when they are going to schedule that shoot,” it was for a new deviation of the “Seduction for Him” perfume that Makoto had already advertised.

It was called “Aqua Seduction” and creative director for the perfume got really excited when he found out about Makoto’s freediving work for Dubai Tourism and his experience with swimming in general. They came-up with a concept with Makoto in mind. Makoto would have to screw-up badly not get the job. Afterall, there weren’t too many other models who could potentially put-on a mer-tail and swim in a shark tank.

“Shouldn’t clash,” replied her colleague, “It’s only a week job. Less if the director keeps changing his mind and demanding script changes. Feh, at this rate the movie might get the plug pulled on it. Anyway, I am forwarding you the details and forwarding their name to the assistant director. Make sure both Tachibana and Toko bring their A-game when they get called-up. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to rangle-up a few more bodies.”

 

* * *

 

“I’ll be in your care then,” said Makoto with a bow as he finished meeting with the “Aqua Seduction” advertising creative team. He was all smiles on the surface but his stomach had more butterflies than Rei’s pajamas. Why did they always put him in water? Stupid question, they were marketing him as the “swimmer model” and so obviously he was going to get all the jobs involving water, the kind of jobs professional swimmers with sponsors wouldn’t normally take. Although a professional swimmer wouldn’t usually advertise a perfume unless it was a perfume they were credited as helping create. Something like Michael Phelps’s Aqua Seduction and Michael Phelps was probably the only swimmer big enough to justify such a thing. Makoto wasn’t sure there were any swimmer in Japan big enough to have that kind of draw.

“Maybe one day Rin will be that big,” thought Makoto, “I wonder what kind of scent he would lend his name to… he likes Old Spice, but they can’t just clone Old Spice,” randomly Makoto remembered Rin’s desire from elementary school of wanting to swim in a pool full of cherry blossoms and found himself smiling, imagining Rin advertising Matsuoka Rin’s Aqua Cherry perfume in a commercial where he swam in a pool full of cherry blossoms. Makoto kind of really wanted to see that.

Makoto’s day dreaming was cut short when he received a phone call from Shiori to fill him in on the movie job, “It’s a total waste of time,” she was saying, “Movies have huge lag time. Assuming this bloody movie ever wraps-up, it’ll still be in post-production for months, if not a full year. The release date will be sometime next year and even then, I doubt it’ll be anything other than something to keep your fans talking. But it is a favour and in showbiz, people owing you favours is a big deal.”

“It sounds fun at any rate,” commented Makoto, “I am looking forward to it.”

“I am glad,” Shiori hung-up, having already learnt from Makoto the mere formality of the audition had gone well and mostly consisted of him wearing a rough fitting spandex mer-tail and swimming a bit in a public pool.

It hadn’t been easy for Makoto but he probably had an advantage in that he had watched Haru move underwater all his life. So Makoto could close his eyes and picture Haru gliding underwater, his legs locked as if they were stuffed inside a mer-tail and swimming while barely moving his arms. It was very different from Makoto’s own swimming style and Makoto had felt he had been rough and ungainly. He would need to practice more, which is why they gave him the spandex tail to keep, but the client was generally satisfied.

 

The proper made to order silicon tail was being made by the Mertailor, who had already been commissioned and was just waiting on Makoto’s measurements to complete it. It would be here in about two weeks. Makoto hoped the real tail would fit better because the spandex tail was a bit tight. But he had a lot of work to do beforehand and of course, he now had this movie thing to worry about. Makoto sighed, he might not be able to go home for summer afterall. He hoped Ren and Ran wouldn’t be too angry with him. At least they had stopped crying over skype these days.

 

* * *

 

It was generally impractical for Makoto and Rin to make any firm plans to meet during the week. But every now and again Makoto’s work brought him close to Rin’s training centre of his dorm and they met-up for food or a movie and on the odd occasion a trip to the public bath.

 

Today, however, Rin had specifically called Makoto up and asked him to go to a bath with him and have dinner after. Rin was tense and quiet. Makoto could see the tension oozing off, of him. Finally he asked, “What’s up?”

 

Rin sighed, “I wondered why no one had brought-up our relay from the regional tournaments during my interview for the training program. Today I found out why.”

 

Makoto pulled a face, he didn’t have any regrets letting Rin swim in the relay with them. Well he regretted that Rei and Rin couldn’t both swim the butterfly leg but that was about it. The fact that Iwatobi High Swim Club had been suspended from the remaining tournaments for the rest of the school year, their principal had reprimanded them and cut their club budget to the bare minimum were things he had been willing to endure to see Rin smile again.

 

However, friendship is magic didn’t really wash with FINA or Japan National Team. So Makoto had wondered why neither Rin nor Haru had been grilled about the incident at the regional tournament during their interviews. Makoto remained silent though, and only encouraged Rin to continue with his eyes. He didn’t want to push if Rin didn’t want to talk.

 

“Firstly, Coach Sasabe wrote letters to the appropriate authorities explain our history and how we didn’t mean any disrespect but how Haru and you guys were just trying to save me from depression or worse,” said Rin, “I didn’t know he had done that,” Makoto knew, it was how they had avoid the summary closure of the swim club, “Captain Mikoshiba also wrote a letter and um…” Rin looked away.

 

“He um… googled my old school out of curiosity and found out about Anne,” Rin went on after a moment, “Well not that she was my girlfriend or anything but how she had killed herself while I was there and how her death had sparked the investigation that led to the discovery of a decade long sexual abuse of swim team students by the breaststroke coach,” Rin pursed his lips, “With his letter he included news articles about the scandal and made the case for leniency for me because I was clearly messed-up and maybe even suicidal and whatever else…” Rin huffed, “I was never suicidal. Depressed as hell but never suicidal. I wouldn’t do that to Gou or my mom.” Rin fell silent.

 

“Japan does have an abnormally high youth suicide rate,” offered Makoto, “It’s an obvious thing to worry about. Rei thought Haru might harm himself following his loss to you last year.”

 

“Huh!” exclaimed Rin, “Haru?! He’s not that weak of a person!”

 

“I know that, you know that, but Rei didn’t,” said Makoto gently.

 

Rin huffed again and again fell into silence. Makoto waited patiently. Finally Rin started talking again, “I don’t know how the contents of my private file became locker room knowledge but it did. Today I wasn’t just taunted with accusations of being an honourless traitor or a blind moron who couldn’t tell which team I was on but asked if I had been touched in Australia,” Makoto’s mouth tightened and his face lost all gentleness. At that moment he did resemble a dangerous killer whale.

 

“I didn’t care about that but then someone brought-up Anne. It was totally a random shot in the dark, had to be, how could they know? You are literally the only one in Japan who knows about Anne. Even my mom and Gou don’t know the whole story. All they know is that I had a cute blond girlfriend in 7th grade. they haven’t mentioned her since I told them we broke-up sometime in 8th grade. But…”

 

“But?” prompted Makoto gently.

 

“I lost it,” said Rin, “I turned on the guy for suggesting Anne might have liked it, that her lips might have said no but maybe her body said yes. He wondered out loud how loose she was and if I had, had a taste of her charms and I lost it!” Rin covered his face, he could feel tears start of form in his eyes so he sunk down into the bath until he was submerged.

 

Makoto looked around but the bath was still empty. The one two salarymen who had been in the other end of the bath when they first came in were long gone. So when Rin surfaced, Makoto didn’t hesitate to pull him in for a hug. They were completely naked but Makoto didn’t care, Rin had always been more of a physical person so Makoto figured he wanted, no needed, the physical contact. Makoto was right because Rin buried his face in the crook of Makoto’s neck and let the tears flow freely.

 

“Mikoshiba pulled me off him,” said Rin, “Then I was dragged away to face management. They suspended me, Makoto! All that work and they suspended me…” Rin sobbed, “It’s over! I have a disciplinary hearing next week but its over! My record is against me. I am an inconsistent performer who embarrassed his school at regional tournaments. I was on thin ice to begin with and now it’s over! Management basically told me that they only overlooked the regional incident because of Coach Sasabe’s and Mikoshiba’s letter and told me that I should perform a dogeza to them both to ask their forgiveness for messing-up the chance their words that brought me. It’s over! I failed.”

 

For a long time Makoto just hugged Rin and let him cry, rubbing his back in soothing patterns, similar to what he would do with Ren or Ran. Finally when Rin had calmed a bit, “Don’t give-up yet,” whispered Makoto, “It’s too early to give-up. I know its hard but I think the best thing you can do, including to the memory of Anne, is to open-up at the disciplinary hearing. Explain… everything,” Makoto gently suggested.

 

“I mean, I am not saying you were right to lash out but that guy shouldn’t have been taunting you. Especially not by suggesting a poor girl who was raped and committed suicide somehow asked for all those horrible things to happen to her,” Makoto continued, “I mean, he didn’t know how important she was to you but the point is that she is important to you. Plus you need to know how the whole locker room found out about your past. Was the content of your private file leaked? I don’t think Mikoshiba told anyone and I don’t think you have been advertise what school you used to go to. But they found out somehow and you deserve to know how. You’re a victim here too Rin. So don’t give-up.”

 

Rin didn’t answer, only burrowed himself deeper into Makoto’s arm. Only barely remembered to keep their lower regions at a respectable distance because this was really not the time for that kind of thing. Finally after he had calmed a little, he pulled back, “Thanks Makoto, I am glad you are here with me,” he said, managing a faint smile.

 

Makoto smiled back reassuringly, abruptly remembering Haru’s words from the night before the regionals but opted not to bring Haru up. Makoto didn’t know why but he felt that Rin might be hurt if Haru was brought-up. “Come stay with me,” Makoto suddenly offered, “You have been suspended right? So you don’t have swim practice. The dorm might be uncomfortable for you until your disciplinary hearing. So come stay with me until then.”

 

“You… you don’t mind?” asked Rin.

 

“Of course not! I only hope it won’t be too cramped for you to stay for longer than a night. It is a pretty small apartment,” said Makoto sheepishly.

“Don’t worry about that,” replied Rin, “I am used to cramped dorms afterall,” shortly after they left the bath house and headed to Rin’s dorm so he could pack-up what little he had.

 

As soon as Rin entered the dorm building he was glad that he only had to grab his things and leave. The hostile stares of people who had never been all that friendly followed him every step of the way. So he quickened his step and just thought of Makoto waiting for him outside and how it was only going to be a little time before he would be free from all the hostility. But as soon as he entered his dorm room he realised that he had one unavoidable confrontation before he could escape into the little bubble of warmth and happiness he had found in Makoto’s company. Mikoshiba was waiting for him in his room.

 

He looked angry? Disappointed? Rin couldn’t tell, “Why?” he asked Rin simply.

 

Why? That short question had such a long answer. So Rin decided to try and buy himself some time, “How did they know about my old school?” Rin wondered.

 

“I didn’t tell them if that’s what you are asking,” snapped Mikoshiba.

 

“I know you wouldn’t, captain,” replied Rin.

 

“I am not your captain any more,” said Mikoshiba dismissively, “As for how they knew, an old… acquaintance of yours from Australia is an exchange student at the same university Kuza attends. I am not sure how you came-up in conversation but you did and apparently this acquaintance of yours basically called you a whore and then went into detail about all the girls and boys you banged while in Australia. He was the one who told Kuza about the sex scandal at your old school and talked about how he wondered if you had been touched and the hyper sexual activity on your part was… compensating for the abuse you suffered.”

 

Rin pulled a face, this was too much. He hadn’t slept with that many people. Certainly by his old school’s standards he was a veritable prude. But this wasn’t the time to think about his sexual record. He looked at Mikoshiba and felt that he did owe him an explanation, not only because of what he had done and put-up with in the past but also because of what he was doing now. Kuza couldn’t have just volunteered the information to Mikoshiba.

 

Rin sighed, “I wasn’t touched or anything like that,” said Rin, “But that girl who died was my girlfriend. My first love, first kiss, first… a lot of things. We broke-up because I didn’t have time for her. Because swimming was more important. Sometime after, she started getting abused. I didn’t notice,” Rin looked away as Mikoshiba’s eyes widen in surprise, “I did sleep around a bit. But I wasn’t compensating for anything except loneliness,” he kept his eyes averted because he didn’t want to know the face Mikoshiba was making at that moment.

 

“Anyway, that’s not important. Point is that after Anne died I found out that the school used my... sexual misadventures over her to keep her silent. She still cared about me, like I still cared about her and she didn’t want to see me get expelled. She was…” Rin sighed, “Protecting me. So her death…” Rin paused, before continuing, “Kuza could have called me a whore or worse and I wouldn’t have cared but he didn’t have any right to taunt her. He especially didn’t have a right to suggest she somehow had what happened to her coming. She didn’t. Even if I didn’t love her I would have still found what he said disgusting.”

 

“You might get expelled over this,” Mikoshiba pointed out, but there was no heat in his voice.

 

Rin sighed, “You should stop trying to protect me, captain,” he said, “Nothing good seems to happen to people who try to protect me or help me,” abruptly he thought of Makoto but he pushed that thought aside. He didn’t want to think about some harm coming to Makoto because of him. Right now, Makoto’s warmth was the only thing keeping him together.

 

This time Mikoshiba did not bother correcting Rin, instead he said, “Don’t worry about it. I mean, you are going to be my brother-in-law in the future, so of course I am going to protect you,” he said with a grin.

 

This at once sent Rin in a protective rage over Gou but he checked himself and decided instead to reverse the situation and say, “Huh! I didn’t know you were keen to unload your little sister on me! Is she pretty? I only go for cute girl you know.”

 

Mikoshiba laughed his full rich laugh, “Nice try but Nitori has already recruited me on to the MakoRin ship. I am cheering you on, Matsuoka!”

 

Rin was caught so off-guard that all he could do was blush and blush deeply. This prompted Mikoshiba to laugh some more before he sobered and said, “Good luck with the disciplinary hearing,” and left.

 

Rin quietly packed-up his belonging and only stopped to let the dorm manager know he wouldn’t be back for the foreseeable future before meeting-up with Makoto outside. That night as Rin went to sleep in Makoto’s tiny six tatami apartment, he wished for a lot of things. But mostly he wished he could crawl into Makoto’s futon and pull Makoto on top of him and let him kiss away all his myriad of worries.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the bit at the start of the chapter about the crab festival is from the drama CD. I noticed that Rin has a tendency to just acknowledge Haru and not really the others., including Makoto. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t care but if I were Haru, it would be one of the things that mislead me into thinking that Rin could never fall for Makoto. Indeed, why Makoto himself might not realise that Rin had fallen for him. So I wanted to bring that aspect of canon interaction in to justify why both Haru and Makoto might miss some rather obvious clues Rin is dropping.
> 
> Also yes, the Mertailor is a real thing. You can google The Mertailor and buy mer-tail for yourself from him. The spandex tail also comes from him FYI. He does take 5-10 weeks to make the silicon tails and 4-6 weeks to make the spandex tails but I for this fic I assumed that perfume company put in a rushed order for a not very detailed/for training spandex tail roughly in Makoto’s size that they got ASAP and told him to get working on the proper tail while they finalised the deal with Makoto… i.e. I cheated with the timeline.
> 
> Lastly, I am one of the people who LOATHED episode 12 and I was going to type-up a whole rant about how crap it was. But then I thought, why waste time typing a rant when I could just use the time to type this fic and show that the consequences of a move like that couldn’t be dismissed simply as “boys will be boys” as Amakata did. Add in the dead girlfriend I gave Rin as a backstory for this fic and I get to torture Rin! I am sorry, I’ll go sit in the corner now.
> 
> Anyway, thank you to everyone who has struck with this story for 18 chapters. I hope you are still enjoying it. Next chapter, Haru makes his dramatic return and for better or for worse, puts an end to all MakoRin fluff!


	19. Chapter 19

There was no Rin when Makoto awoke in the morning. Indeed, int the first groggy moments, Makoto nearly forgot that anything had changed as Rin had neatly put away the futon he had used after he had gotten up. It was only the sight of Rin’s bags that brought the night before back to Makoto’s mind and he wondered where Rin could be this early in the morning.

 

He checked his phone and looked around for a note. There was nothing. Makoto decided it was too early to worry and got-up to wash-up and get breakfast started. He wondered what Rin would like. Pancakes probably but Makoto didn’t think he had any pancake mix. Omelette maybe? With cheese and mushrooms? Rin burnt through a lot of calories so he could pretty much each anything he wanted as long as it wasn’t empty calories. “Ah but he wasn’t going to be training until the disciplinary hearing”, Makoto remembered.

 

The thought actually got Makoto seriously worried and about more than just breakfast choice. What was Rin going to do if he didn’t have training to fill his time? Makoto knew that if left to idle, Rin might well think the worst thoughts and get himself down. Although he could appreciate Rin’s current predicament taking up a lot of his thought process and so he probably couldn’t do much but doing nothing was probably a very bad idea.

 

Makoto started frying the omelette, a large one with four eggs, as he gave some thought to how he could maybe distract his friend without annoying him. He had just plated-up the omelette when Rin returned. From his get-up it was clear he had been jogging.

 

“Hey,” said Makoto cheerfully, “I made breakfast,” offering Rin the omelette. Rin looked at the single plate of omelette and raised his eyebrows questioningly, “I am going to have some cereal,” explained Makoto smiling.

 

“I could have just had cereal too,” said Rin, a little put out by the extra trouble he caused Makoto.

 

“Nay, I know you like a more substantial breakfast,” replied Makoto, “Sorry its not as good as your cooking.”

 

“Idiot, don’t apologize,” said Rin, taking the plate, “It’s bad enough that you got-up and cooked. Thanks for the food.”

 

“I hope you enjoy it,” said Makot simply and got his own bowl of cereal.

 

They ate in silence as Makoto thought more on how he could distract Rin without imposing on him too much. Wait, maybe imposing on Rin might be what he needed to do. “Hey Rin, what are you up to today?” he wondered.

 

Rin shrugged, “Suspension from training means my day is pretty free. Why?”

 

“Want to help me train to be a merman this evening?” Makoto asked.

 

“Huh?”

 

Makoto explained his next job and finished with, “Thursdays is when I go train with my swim team anyway. Well mornings and afternoon I’ll be at my school. Today is the one day of face to face contact I have. Afterwards I go train at the swim club. Normally, 5 to 7 is when I train with the coach. Well mostly I follow the training regime and the coach observes me to make sure I am not picking up any bad habits or letting my form slack. Nothing more serious than that.” Makoto explained, “But today I was only going to train for an hour before starting my merman training. I booked out two lanes for that starting at 6. Would be nice to have someone there just observing me and you know, seeing if I am being mermaidy enough.”

 

“Heh, Makoto the merman, I like it!” said Rin, “I am in!”

 

“Great!” replied Makoto, slightly relieved but there was still the matter of what Rin would be doing while Makoto was at school.

 

Either Rin sensed Makoto’s concern or was simply thinking out loud but he addressed Makoto’s unspoken question by explaining, “I should probably get upto date with my school work too. I really need to keep my grades up now that the whole swimming things looks like its going to fall through.”

 

“You should keep your grades up anyway,” said Makoto, “I mean, swimming isn’t really a lifetime career unless you become a coach after you stop competing.”

 

“Hey, not to brag or anything, I am in the top ten in all my subjects!” Rin protested, “But honestly, I never really gave much thought to what I might do at university or anything like that. Probably about time I started.”

 

“I know what you mean,” said Makoto, “I need to start thinking about that too.”

 

“So you want to go to university?” asked Rin.

 

“Well I might not be able to if my career really takes off,” said Makoto, “But when I was still hauling fish I was thinking of a few career paths. Nothing concrete, just random ideas,” admitted Makoto, “I guess a lot of it depended on Haru because I sort of wanted to go to the same university as him. But,” Makoto sighed, “Other times I thought it might be nice for us both if we had some distance between us. Just, just because I didn’t want to be suffocating Haru.”

 

“What about Haru suffocating you?” Rin wanted to ask but he didn’t really want to hear a long explanation on how Haru couldn’t possible suffocate Makoto. It would piss him off too much. He was kind of tempted to suggest that maybe this separation had done them some good but he swallowed that too. Instead he went back to eating.

 

* * *

 

After Makoto left, Rin did his best to get some study done but his mind wouldn’t settle for long on his school work. He kept thinking about what he would tell his mom and Gou. How was he going to face them after all the sacrifices they had made? He never even had the guts to tell them he wanted to quit swimming in Middle School. Instead, he had gone back to Australia and kept mindlessly training. He just didn’t compete more than he absolutely had to. He probably wouldn’t have returned if his mother hadn’t pulled him out after the sex abuse scandal broke.

 

Giving-up on his studies, Rin lay back on the floor and just let his mind drift for a bit. Unfortunately it kept drifting into territory he did not want it drifting to. Then he remembered Makoto’s request. “Merman ha?”

 

Rin got-up and retrieved his tablet from his bag and started by visiting the website of the Mertailor who Makoto had told him was making his fins. Rin quickly discovered that the Mertailor was a man who, as far as Rin could tell, was also the world’s best known “real life merman”. He had a selection of Youtube videos up showing how he swam while wearing the fin.

 

Rin highly technical mind quickly started trying to adapt what the “merman” was doing to how he knew Makoto swam and realised he needed to make a lot of modification to get the swimming suited to Makoto’s much bulkier frame. Plus there was something in the merman’s swimming that irritated the hell out of Rin. So he started looking at the some other videos, these of mermaid performers and quickly picked-up on a potential problem.

 

All the mermaids and mermen tended to be filmed or viewed from above the waterline while they themselves were at least partially submerged but according to Makoto, he was going to be swimming in a simulated coral reef environment at the Tokyo aquarium and would be filmed with underwater cameras while he was fully submerged. I.e. he and the photographic equipment would both be underwater. Makoto’s movements needed to be a lot smoother or else he wouldn’t be able to be a convincing merman.

 

Getting one of his rough work notebooks out, Rin started sketching out forms and planning limb movement. He even tried on Makoto’s spandex tail, which Makoto had left for him to have a look at and bring with him later. Rin felt ridiculous wearing the tail and wondered at the psychology of people who sincerely wanted to be merpeople.

 

“Haru might understand,” Rin thought absently as his slipped out of the tail, “I wonder if he would ever give-up his legs for mer-tail if a reverse Ariel offer was made to him.” Rin honestly didn’t know but amused himself imagining Haru taking a job as a merman performer and working at a resort somewhere entertaining children and their families as he got back to thinking-up how Makoto could pull off a convincing merman.

 

* * *

 

By the end of the day Rin was pretty excited over the whole thing and ended-up coming at 5 PM to the aquatic centre. He had checked the aquatic centres website and found that it had a number of pools. One was reserved for training by national team swimmers who were NOT part of the national team training program and instead had personal coaches. The other was used by for training by semi-professional team and that was the team Makoto trained with.

 

Those were the Olympic size pools but then the facility had a couple of small pools open to the general public and a gym. Both of which could be accessed by non-members for a fee. Rin figured he might as well train with some weights while he waited for Makoto. He had second thoughts when in the lobby he ran into an official from the national swimming training program who shot Rin an intimidating stare. But the moment passed and after a polite nod of greeting and acknowledgement, Rin pressed on to the receptionist. There was, afterall, no reason Rin couldn’t use the facilities at this aquatic center.

 

Working out always calmed Rin, so he pretty much forgot about the lobby encounter and was in as good a mood as he could be when he finally met-up with Makoto.

 

“Thanks for bringing my tail,” said Makoto.

 

Rin shrugged, “What’s the plan?” he asked, now that he was here, Rin felt shy about disclosing just how much thought he had given the whole thing. Afterall, Makoto had only asked him to observe a bit and see if he was being mermaidy enough. He hadn’t asked him to conduct extensive research on merpeople performers and develop special strokes and techniques for him.

 

“Ah, help me take the lane divider off first,” said Makoto, “Then I’ll put on the tail and swim a bit and you can umm… comment,” he finished lamely.

 

“Sure, whatever,” said Rin.

 

They had one of the end lanes and lane adjacent to that and after they were done taking the lane divider off, Makoto struggled into a tail a little bit too comically before sort of rolling into the pool. Rin had the grace to hide his smile behind his hand. Makoto than swam like he had been practicing for a bit before surfacing and asking, “How was that?”

 

“Are you trying to mimic Haru?” exclaimed Rin in disbelief.

 

“Well…”

 

“Makoto, you are NOT Haru,” Rin pointed out, exasperated, “You are bulkier and don’t have the same smooth movement.”

 

“I know that!” protested Makoto.

 

Rin sighed, “Be glad I am here,” he sat down on the pool edge dangling his feet into the water and beckoned Makoto to come to him, “I think I have a good idea for how to turn your assets, your strenght and power, into a swim style befitting a merman. One line summary, infrequent but powerful tale movements!”

 

“Um… okay,” said Makoto, which was the last time he spoke for a long time as Rin started explaining all the things he had thought-up.

 

* * *

 

“You would make a great coach one day,” Makoto commented as they neared the end of the time they had the lanes to themselves.

 

Rin snorted. “I am serious!” declared Makoto, “You are such a technical swimmer,” Makoto pointed out, “I mean, I just tried to copy Haru because that’s all I could think of. But you, you researched mermaid performers, thought of my build, my current strokes,” Makoto smiled, “Remembered my strokes in the first place and then came-up with a swim style just for me. All in a day! That’s really impressive.”

 

“It wasn’t that big of a deal,” said Rin, blushing a bit at the compliment, “I mean, it’s not like I came-up with a whole new stroke like the guy who invented the butterfly stroke!” Makoto just smiled.

 

“Let’s put the lane divider back,” suggested Makoto, “It’s almost time and it’ll take me a bit to get out of the tail.”

 

They put the lane divider back with couple of minutes to spare but the pool was pretty quiet so it wasn’t like anyone was going to rush to share their lanes and no one was going to kicked them out. So Rin suggested, “Let’s race.”

 

“Eh?”

 

“Let’s race Breast like we used to,” Rin elaborated, “It should be fair. You race Back now and I race Free and Butterfly,” Rin pointed out and then smiled, “I just got a bit nostalgic for the day of our youth when you and I used to compete against each other in breaststroke.”

 

“Rin, we are 17,” Makoto pointed out with a laugh, “I am pretty sure that’s too young to be talking about the days of our youth!”

 

“Just indulge me already!” complained Rin.

 

“Fine, fine but if I recall, you used to beat me a lot,” said Makoto indulgently.

 

“That’s not what I remember,” said Rin, “I remember eating your wake, a lot!”

 

“Only in the hundred meters,” Makoto pointed out, “And only if they had a long course.”

 

“Ha! So you do remember soundly handing my ass to me on more than one occasion,” teased Rin, “So its time for my long overdue revenge in the 100m Breast! Prepare yourself Tachibana, to taste defeat!”

 

“Fine, fine,” said Makoto, “But we don’t have anyone to give the start signal.”

 

“We’ll just ask someone,” they ended-up asking a pool attendant who was loitering nearby.

 

It wasn’t a particularly fast pace as they were both rather rusty when it came to the breaststroke. Nagisa would have beaten them both with relative ease. In the end Rin won but not by much, “Congratulations,” said Makoto honestly with a wide smile

 

“And that’s why we were never rivals,” said Rin with a sigh.

 

“Eh? You mean because I am not nearly as good as you and Haru and never will be no matter how hard I try?” asked Makoto, just an honest straightforward question.

 

“No you self-deprecating dumbass,” declared Rin a little annoyed, “You're too nice! For all Haru’s declarations of not caring about winning or losing, he honestly does hate having someone ahead of him. If he didn’t, I would never have been able to get under his skin would I?” reasoned Rin, “You on the other hand really honestly don’t care. All you really care about is doing your best. As long as you think you have done your best. You are happy with the result. You can’t develop a rivalry with a guy like that.”

 

“I don’t know,” replied Makoto, still smiling, “I mean, I was pretty upset when I lost my individual event in the prefectural tournament last year.”

 

“I bet for all of 2 seconds,” said Rin dismissively. Makoto only smiled.

 

“Why did you only race Breast,” asked Rin suddenly, “As a kid I mean.”

 

“Well I never really tried Back properly until I had to swim Back in the relay by default,” explained Makoto, “I was never any good in Butterfly, a little too technical for me,” said Makoto a little sheepishly, “That only left freestyle front crawl but if I raced that, I would have to race against Haru. I didn’t want to be against Haru in anything so…” Makoto grinned.

 

Rin sighed, “Why am I not surprised,” he muttered.

 

Further conversation between the two were interrupted when the National Team official Rin had earlier seen the lobby came striding towards them looking grim, “Out of the pool, Matsuoka,” he ordered, “And report to the locker area A for testing.”

 

Rin blinked, “Testing?”

 

“Dope testing,” said the official looking irritated, “You left the dorm without telling anyone where you were going. So you missed a test when the officials went there to test everyone. You are lucky I saw you come in and could inform them you were here when they came to test some of the athletes training here. Otherwise you would have registered a miss and right now, you really can’t afford any black marks against your record.”

 

Rin couldn’t really argue with that and got out of the pool. “I’ll wait for you in the lobby,” said Makoto. Rin just nodded.

 

* * *

 

Something was wrong, something was very, very wrong. Rin had been part of the anti-doping program for a very long time. The Australians had no tolerance for performance enhancing drugs. If only because they liked having the moral high ground on the issue and they couldn’t if their athletes were caught cheating. So Rin knew what a routine testing was supposed to be like, this was not a routine test. Everybody was too tense.

 

“Where have you been?” demanded one of the officials, “You are supposed to inform us of your whereabouts.”

 

Rin took a moment to curb his temper, “I was with a friend. His address is on your systems since I stay with him pretty regularly. I just decided to stay at his place last night.”

 

“The dorm didn’t know where you had gone,” said the still irate official, “Nor did the program officials. You need to better inform people.”

 

Rin simply nodded and held his tongue. His blood was taken and he was handed a urine cup. Per protocol, he had to pee in front of the official so that it was clear he didn’t tamper with the sample in some way. “At least if I get kicked out,” thought Rin, “I won’t have to put-up with this shit anymore,” he sighed, “We done?” he asked the official after handing back the sample. The official nodded and after giving him another lecture about keeping the right authorities updated of his whereabouts, told him he could go.

 

In the hallway outside the changing area he ran back into the National Team official who glared at Rin and demanded, “Why the hell did you have to punch Kuza,” he sighed but before Rin could answer he added, “This scandal is on your head Matsuoka. Remember that when you get back to training,” with that he left.

 

Get back to training? What was he on about? Rin had a disciplinary hearing on monday and that’s when his fate would be decided right? Rin dismissed the man’s comment as random nothing and headed to the locker room, locker room B, where he had stored his gear. He was pretty hungry and just wanted to go somewhere with Makoto and eat.

 

* * *

 

Friday found them both at home and so they decided to study together. “You can help me with English,” declared Makoto, “It’s one of my worst subjects.”

 

“How?” wondered Rin, “I have heard you speak english. You are quite fluent.”

 

“Speaking is not the problem,” replied Makoto, “I also understand it pretty well when I read it or hear it, well as long as the speaker isn’t speaking too quickly,” he amended.

 

“Then what’s the issue?” wondered Rin. Makoto handed him a piece of his english writing. Rin’s eyes went wide at the terrible spelling, “What the hell, Makoto! Are you spelling these phonetically?”

 

“Well…”

 

Rin groaned, then grinned, “Well fine! You can help me with Japanese and I’ll see what I can do about your atrocious spelling.”

 

Makoto smiled, “Deal!”

 

They were so absorbed in their studies, which did frequently degenerated into Rin laughing at Makoto over his difficulties in English and Makoto trying not to make fun of Rin for being so weak in Japanese language that Rin didn’t notice he had two rather important emails waiting for him until late in the afternoon.

 

The first email was from the national swimming program management informing him that his disciplinary hearing had been cancelled. They were not interested in hearing his side of the story and were making their decision based on the fact that Rin had punched a teammate. He was suspended until monday after next. After that he was to resume training per normal. He should consider this his first warning. One more and he was out. He could appeal if he wanted and get a hearing.

 

If Rin had, had a clean past, he would have appealed. But his actions in the Regional tournaments were already hanging over him and besides, he didn’t really want to discuss Anne with officials who were probably not unlike those whose refusal to believe Anne contributed to her death. Yet the sudden decision just made Rin think something was seriously wrong.

 

The second email was from Mikoshiba and that clarified everything, “Well you just punched open a can of worms,” Mikoshiba opened jovially, “If you’ll recall, Kuza got a nosebleed from your punch and they took him to the hospital. His nose wouldn’t stop bleeding. They got worried and ran a few tests but couldn’t figure out what was going on. They asked him if he was on any medication but he said he just took some WADA approved health supplements. The doctor treating him wanted to see them so he got his girlfriend to run them over from his apartment.”

 

Rin could almost see Mikoshiba grinning as he read the next part, “She got the WADA approved health supplements. But, bless the ditzy, she also got the pills, and I am quoting one of my senpai’s from Samezuka who, being a current classmate of Kuza went with him to the hospital, ‘also the pills hidden in the secret compartment under the bed’. Not sure who called the anti-doping agency but they were called and now we are all being blanket tested. Especially since its a new drug they hadn’t known about before. They can’t have a hearing for you any more because they are trying to bury the Kuza story. The anti-doping agency is co-operating. This is Japan afterall, no one likes losing face. Do yourself a favour and don’t make any noises.”

 

Rin translated the last statement as, accept whatever punishment they hand you short of expulsion and don’t appeal. Good thing he wasn’t going to appeal in the first place, otherwise he might have gotten pissed at Mikoshiba’s suggestion that he just lay there and take whatever they threw at him.

 

Rin filled Makoto in, “That’s great news! I mean,” he quickly added, “The drug scandal isn’t good…” Makoto’s phone vibrated, it was Shiori.

 

“You were born under a lucky star,” Shiori declared.

 

“I was?”

 

“Don’t spread it around, but there was some sort of dust-up in the national swimming program locker room. A swimmer go punched into a locker and one thing lead to another, he was caught as a drug cheat,” explained Shiori.

 

“Ah yeah… I kind of knew all that,” replied Makoto sheepishly.

 

“Really? Ah but of course, your friend Matsuoka… don’t tell me, he was involved in the dust-up!” exclaimed Shiori.

 

“Well…”

 

Shiori laughed out loud, “Maybe you just have good friends then,” she replied, “Because we just got handed an amazing cross-over concept for your debut.”

 

“We did?”

 

“The current anticipated damage is rather high in terms of sheer number of swimmers they might lose,” said Shiori, “I suspect junior members will quietly be dropped from the program while any senior members will suddenly declare their retirement. As long as none of their medal winners from the last Olympics, Asian games or World championships are caught in the scandal, they shouldn’t have any issues burying the story. However, they will be open to positive distraction involving their swimmers.”

 

“Okay,” said Makoto, still not getting it.

 

“Yoshino is already in discussions with them to do a show in mid to late July,” said Shiori, “Just imagine, a stage in the middle of a pool. First a lone swimmer enters the pool area, you, gets in the backstroke start position and is given his signal. You swim to the centre stage and start singing Rage On. As the song nears the end we bring in one swimmer of each type, new swimmers from this years program to watch in the upcoming Asian games. The song ends they dive in! It’s perfect!” declared Shiori, “Which reminds me, find a way to include the whole ready-set-go thing as the last line of Rage On.”

 

“Ah okay,” said Makoto, “We’ll do our best.”

 

“No, just do it!” ordered Shiori, “Anyway, we’ll give each of the swimmer their own personal intro after you song ends. We’ll get you to do one or two more songs, between or during which we’ll find a way to include more of the swim team stars, present stars that is. Swim Team gets some positive chatter, fans will hopefully get pumped and go out and get your debut single, the creative team putting this together get a demo to put forward as part of their portfolio for Tokyo opening ceremony participations… everybody wins!”

 

“That’s great!”

 

“Of course it is! Now get that song finished and recorded. But,” added Shiori, “Just don’t take anything from Shinji to ‘help you along’. Knowing Shinji he’s going to relapse, if he hasn’t already. He can’t handle pressure at all. So he’s pockets will sooner or later be filled with pills,” she said distastefully, “Just don’t take any of it.”

 

“I already said I won’t,” replied Makoto, exasperated. Why didn’t anyone trust him?

 

“Just reminding you,” said Shiori before hanging-up.

 

“Well?” asked Rin after Makoto put the phone away. Makoto explained what Shiori had told him. Rin laughed, “I guess I better make sure I am the butterfly swimmer included in your show. I would be really jealous otherwise.”

 

Makoto smiled, “I would really like that.”

 

* * *

 

Dear Nanase-san,

We know our initial condition for your entry into the national training program was that you win your designated events at that national level. However, we have altered our position. We would like you to come next week for a time trial. Depending on the times you post and provided you return clean results from our drug test, we’ll be happy to offer you a position in the national swim training program.

 

Sincerely,

 

The Head of the Training Program.

  
Haru read and re-read the official letter to convince himself he was not dreaming. He didn’t know what had happened in Tokyo but clearly something had happened. But honestly, Haru didn’t care. All he cared was that he was going to see Makoto again and much sooner than expected. Because there was just no way Haru was not going to post the best times of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this chapter ran away from me… *sigh* WADA is the World Anti-Doping Agency. Each country has their own branch, as far as I know. I am assuming the Japanese branch of WADA wouldn't be prone to call a press conference unless they absolutely had to or they were made to by their higher-ups.
> 
>  
> 
> Recent character profile stuff said Makoto’s worst subjects in school were English and Art while his best was Japanese language. Rin’s worst subjects is Japanese language and classical literature while his best are English and Math. Now best and worst and relative. It just means their ranking in those subjects is lower than their ranking in their other subjects. Doesn’t actually mean they are bad in the subjects. But I found the fact that Makoto’s best subject is Rin’s worst and vice versa funny and so got them to study together. ^.^


	20. Chapter 20

Haru wanted to surprise Makoto. So he decided not to call him to let him know that he was coming to Tokyo. Haru’s time trial was scheduled for the following Friday. Haru decided to stay at a cheap hotel near the training centre on thursday night ahead of his time trials. Then once he had passed his time trials and got into the national swimming program, he would surprise Makoto at his apartment and they would have the weekend all to themselves.

 

Well, Rin did  usually spend the weekend with Makoto but he would understand Haru's desire to have Makoto all to himself for sometime. Besides, Haru was still convinced Rin would lose all interest in Makoto and focus wholly on competing with Haru once Haru had settled into the national training program. If anything, Rin would probably spend that weekend training fiercely so that he could race Haru at peak condition come monday. Whichever way, Haru was certain he and Makoto would have plenty of time to just chill-out and get back in the grove of always finding each other when they reached out.

 

* * *

 

Even though Rin's swimming future was no longer uncertain, Makoto could not help but worry about him. What was Rin going to do starting Monday for the week he was still suspended? Was it okay for him to just sit in Makoto's six tatami apartment where there was nothing much to do? Makoto had internet and Rin access to Makoto's laptop and Rin's own tablet and laptop but that's about it. That could not be enough distraction for someone like Rin. Makoto stifled a sigh so as to not alert Rin to his gloomy thoughts as he watched him cook while humming softly.

 

"You really love cooking don't you?" asked Makoto with smile.

 

"Too much Master Chef," replied Rin, "Not that I think I could ever be a chef myself. I don't like cooking fast and I don't think I could deal with the whining customers and stuff," Rin went on, "But I did think about maybe studying culinary arts in a technical school along with swimming training after high school and doing recipe development and testing. Maybe eventually write a cookbook or something."

 

"I would buy your cookbook," declared Makoto.

 

Rin turned around and grinned, "And be one of those people that never cook a single recipe from it!"

 

Makoto pouted, "I would try and cook at least one!" he protested, "If there was mackerel recipe, I would try cooking it for me and Haru."

 

"I wouldn't have mackerels," replied Rin turning back to his cooking, his mood dropping a bit, "Just good ol' meat and vegetables!"

 

"Eh? No seafood?" asked Makoto.

 

"Seafood makes you sad," Rin pointed out.

 

"Only because I am away from Haru, I would be okay if I am with Haru," said  Makoto.

 

This line of conversation wasn't exactly making Rin happy, so he decided to change the subject, "Maybe I'll look into the whole culinary school think while I am still suspended. Not like I have anything better to do and it is probably high time I think about my future."

 

"You could also help me keep training to be a merman," suggested Makoto, "The shoot is next Friday. So I have lanes bookings all week for training."

 

"I would like that," admitted Rin, "Besides, I should keep training on my own and so I'll probably end-up spending a lot of time at that sports center anyway."

 

Makoto grinned, everything seemed in control, "Great!"

 

"What about you?" asked Rin, "What do you have going next week apart from merman training and the merman shoot?"

 

Makoto sighed, "Doing a bit part in a movie," he said, "Or maybe I am an extra, I am not sure."

 

"What's the difference?" wondered Rin.

 

"The way Shiori-san described it is that in a convenience store scene, extras are all the other customers in the background who don't have any lines or interaction with actors on whom the camera is focused but there simply to make the store feel busy or just well attended. While the bit part is the check-out clerk who interacts with one of the stars or at least supporting actors and might even have a line or two," Makoto explained, "I am supposed to be a samurai retainer but I think I am sort of just in the scene and don't have any lines. But I am not exactly in the background. Probably a bit of a grey area, I think."

 

"You sighed before," Rin pointed out, "Not looking forward to it."

 

"The production is supposed to be troubled and so everything is a bit confusing. All I know is that I am on the call sheet for monday and that's it. I understand this is pretty normal and that when I get to set I'll see the continuity sheet and know which scenes are being shot and what I have to do," explained Makoto, unconsciously slipping in movie production terminology but Rin could follow without difficulty.

 

"I am used to not finding out what the concept is or what I have to do exactly until I turn-up at the shoot but I would like to know a bit more about the movie. But it doesn't seem like anybody knows what the movie is about any more,” Makoto sighed before continuing on with his explanation, “It started off as a straight samurai period piece but then they decided it was too boring as a straightforward historical drama. So they decided it would be an alternate reality and so no one has to have topknots and can speak with more modern dialect," Makoto went on, “But apparently that’s all there is to the alternate reality. So Shiori-san thinks that one of the stars decided that he didn’t look good in a topknot and used his star power to have the script changed. But others are saying that there is magic and steampunk in the story now and the director is very demanding and wouldn’t let any stars steamroll him. It’s all very confusing.”

 

“Sounds like it,” said Rin, “But as long as you get paid right!” Makoto agreed and since food was done, they sat down to eat.

 

* * *

 

“You can come too if you like,” Shiori told Rin when she came to pick-up Makoto on Monday, “They are still desperate for bodies and I am sure they can stick you in a role that won’t require you to return.”

 

Rin thought for a moment. He should really start training again but then again, “Why not,” said Rin, “I’ll be a movie star for the day!”

 

Rin piled into the backseat of Shiori’s car with Shiori’s other charge, Toko Retsu, who was also going to be part of the shoot. Makoto took the front passenger seat at Shiori’s request. Toko shot Makoto a dirty look but kept his mouth shut. But the look didn’t escape Rin.

 

Shiori spent much of the car ride talking to Makoto about his debut single and album. Including the number of songs recorded, which songs Shinji wrote, which songs Makoto wrote and about the other songs that had been forwarded to him from various sources. “The latest song I got was Splash Free,” said Makoto, “It was written for a group but Shinji thinks it can be modified so that it won’t sound totally terrible sung solo.”

 

“Well don’t just waste time recording things for the sake of recording,” said Shiori, “The cost of the studio time is being added to your account you know.”

 

“I know,” replied Makoto with a smile, he was back up to his eyeballs in debt again. Not that it could be helped but it did depress Makoto to think how true the old saying of “you must spend money to make money was”.

 

Rin was paying close attention to Makoto and Shiori’s conversation as Makoto wasn’t one to talk about himself and generally didn’t volunteer information about his work unless, like the merman thing, he had to. Rin generally had to ask and even then Makoto didn’t elaborate as much as Rin would like. So it was all new and interesting to Rin. Still, Rin didn’t fail to notice that Toko’s mood was getting darker and darker at the conversation between Makoto and Shiori went on. But then again, he was thoroughly ignored, so Rin figured it was just that and put it out of his mind.

 

They arrived at the movie set and Shiroi took them to the casting manager to sort out paperworks, especially for Rin who quickly got cast as one of the random village thugs who would get killed of in the very scene they are introduced. Rin was a little annoyed at how quickly he got cast as a thug and whispered to Makoto, “It’s the teeth isn’t it?”

 

Makoto smiled and replied, “Nay, its your muscles. With a body like that you can’t exactly pass for a farmer.”

 

“You're always so positive,” mused Rin, “Just be my boyfriend already,” wait, did he just say that out loud!

 

Rin started to blush, to get nervous, to say something more but, Makoto laughed, “I am not that positive,” he replied, “Plus your criteria for a boyfriend should really include more things than ‘is positive’.”

 

Of course Makoto thought he was joking, Rin started to feel unreasonably irritated but what was he expecting given where they were and how casually his tongue slipped out words he’s often been thinking. He sighed, “Being positive is an important quality,” he said simply, “I mean, I can be pretty gloomy and negative so really, I should totally be with someone positive.”

 

“Good point,” agreed Makoto. Further conversation was halted when they were met by an assistant producer, who despite their fancy sounding titles were basically the odd-jobbers of the set, with continuity sheets and instructions as to where to go and what to do.

 

“I am sure you have all heard bad things about the production, well I am here to let you know its all lies!” said the young girl, told not only Makoto, Rin and Toko but a few other people who were extras and bit part actors, “It’s just that the director demands heart! We have a script, a perfectly good script but he’s okay with you going off script! He wants you to really get into the characters head and be the character!”

 

“He wants us to improvise?” asked Toko.

 

“No, well yes, I mean, don’t just make random stuff-up!” she told them, “Be… the characters.”

 

“She’s full of shit,” Rin concluded but didn’t voice his thoughts aloud. But he was beginning to think why everybody considered this a waste of time and a movie that wasn’t going to go any where.

 

Still, Rin was determined to play nice, if only for Makoto’s sake. As for Makoto, he had a serious look on his face as he studied his continuity sheet carefully and the backgrounds of the characters they were supposed to be playing. For Rin, the background information consisted of two lines “Local thug, born and grew-up in village. In justified conflict with new samurai lord.”

 

“Justified conflict was better than unjustified conflict so that was something,” thought Rin. Rin didn’t have any dialogues for the two scenes he was going to be in. In one scene he and the other thugs were in a tavern drinking-up and listening to their leader mouth-off against the new samurai lord. Next scene happens after they leave the tavern when they are accosted by some of the samurai lord’s retainers for mouthing off against their lord, a fight ensures. Fist vs swords and of course swords win. Done dusted and Rin’s 20,000 Yen richer.

 

Rin just had to make sure his fist didn’t actually connect with anyone. There was an art to stage fighting and that’s why before costume and makeup, he had to attend a crash course in fight choreography. Makoto would also be getting instruction on fight choreography but since he was fighting with swords, he would be in a different group to Rin. So they separated and didn’t meet back-up until well after lunch.

 

By the time they did, they were both in full costume and makeup. “You look hot!” said Rin honestly, “Don’t tell me, the Tachibana family used to be samurai.”

 

Makoto laughed sheepishly and changed the subject, “You look great too,” and Rin did, especially when he smirked. Rin was wearing a stylised grey hakama that left his arms bare, showing off his impressive muscles. They had tied his hair up into a ponytail and gave him a cross shaped scar that reminded Makoto of Kenshin from Rurouni Kenshin. The overall effect wasn’t really a thug who looked like a no goodnick but a cool guy who didn’t live by society's rules.

 

Makoto supposed that’s what they were going for as the hero of the film was the thug leader and Rin was going to be in the pivotal scene when the leader, played by an up and coming young actor, goes from direction less agitating to focused rebellion. The change is prompted by the death of his men, of whom Rin was going to be one, at the hands of a samurai retainers, of whom Makoto was one. So even though Makoto was the samurai and Rin was the thug, it was Makoto who was the villains of the film or so Makoto gathered.

 

Makoto himself was dressed in an all black hakama with gold embroidered lettering. With his height and build, Makoto couldn’t help but cut a dashing figure. Especially since Makoto had perfect posture and carried his sword like he was born with it. Rin mentally resigned himself to Makoto getting even more fangirls, assuming this movie ever saw the light of day that is.

 

“Okay, thugs and samurai report to set 43 for scene 115!” said the assistant producer from before.

 

That was the scene outside the tavern when Rin gets killed off. They were going to shoot scene 115 before scene 113, which was inside the tavern. Everybody had strict instructions not to get injured as that would mess with continuity. They were joined by Toko on their way to the set, he too was a samurai.

 

“Try not to hog the spotlight again, Tachibana,” Toko taunted, “We don’t want a repeat of the angel and devils show.”

 

Rin found himself glaring at Toko but Makoto just smiled good naturedly and said simply, “Good luck to you too Toko-senpai.”

 

Toko gave Makoto a look of loathing before moving on. “What the hell Makoto!”

 

Makoto laughed, “I have been very lucky,” said Makoto softly, “Even when I mess-up, like during the devil and angel show, I manage to avoid consequences. So, its only natural that some of my senpais who have been in the industry for years would be upset,” Makoto was all sincerity, “Plus Shiori-san seems to work extra hard for me.”

 

“Makoto, you didn’t do anything wrong in that show,” Rin pointed out, “You did you job and you did your job well. It wasn’t your fault how things went down.”

 

“Still, I shouldn’t have drawn that much attention to myself,” replied Makoto.

 

Rin reached out and flicked Makoto’s ears, “Ouch! What was that for?”

 

“For you being an idiot,” replied Rin, “Do you ever listen to yourself, Makoto? You are in an industry where you are supposed to standout. You not standing out is like me not swimming fast because I might hurt my senpais feelings!” scoffed Rin.

 

“You have a point,” agreed Makoto, “But of course it’s not that simple. I can’t just stand out for the sake of standing out and I can’t stand out in a way that’s bad for the job. Besides, I have been very lucky and luck is a big factor in this industry. At least that’s what I found.”

 

That Rin couldn’t argue with. But it was the first time it occurred to Rin that Makoto had been keeping a lot to himself. Did Makoto too have issues with the other ‘talents’ at his agency that were similar to what Rin had been experiencing in the locker rooms? Is that why Makoto had no social life outside of Rin? But then again, Makoto wasn’t really the ‘hitting the town’ type of person. Still, surely mingling was part of his job description. Rin decided he needed to pay closer attention to Makoto. Because the last thing he wanted, was for their relationship to deteriorate into a one-sided affair where Makoto did all the supporting and Rin all the clinging. No, what Rin wanted was a situation where they could both lift each other up, while pursuing their own individual hopes and dreams.

 

* * *

 

The director must have be very good because Makoto just couldn’t see how someone this… plain spoken could keep working in Japan. “Like I told the previous set of so called actors,” he was saying, “I want you to be the characters and react naturally. That’s why I had the script writer concentrate one coming-up with backgrounds,” Well Makoto did have a lot of information on his character. “So show me what you got! Places!”

 

Makoto scrambled to fall in line with the other samurai retainers who were going to be following their leader, one of the supporting actors, down the path to about the middle of the set, where they would face the group of thugs, including their leader, the star of the movie and an argument would ensure and a fight would break out.

 

“And action,” declared the director and that was his job done. Now it was all upto the actors and the stage manager.

 

Makoto started walking with due determination… but no, that wasn’t right. Why would he be determine to go confront a group of unarmed “thugs” when they weren’t thugs so much as people who opposed the eccentricities of the new samurai lord. Surely his character, someone who lived and grew-up in this village would be reluctant. Especially since the new samurai lord was… crazy. It wasn’t that he set high taxes and cracked down on the villagers when they couldn’t pay. No, economically, he was great.

 

However, he was a pervert who took to bed anyone and anything that caught his fancy. Who ordered his random shops ransacked and burnt because of such petty reasons like the tea wasn’t good enough. Not to mention farms torn down, fields of crops ploughed into the ground because he didn’t like the look of the rice etc, etc. The economics stayed fine because his dutiful wife, the one the current Samurai lord had married to gain control of these lands, made sure shopkeepers, farmers and whoever else were compensated. But there was no compensation for dignity.

 

Surely the Samurai retainer that Makoto was playing would understand that. Would he really be okay to just follow his leader, a leader who had come with his new lord and thus had no connection to the local land. Would an honorable samurai really just go along with the flow? That didn’t really make sense right?

 

Makoto was still thinking these things when the scene moved on and the fight started. All the samurai joined the melee, except for Makoto. Who stood there frozen. Until one of the leader of the samurai retainers went to deliver the first killing blow. Makoto just moved found a way to wedge his still sheathed sword between the unarmed thug and the samurai, who turned out to be Toko.

 

“What the hell do you think you are doing?” Toko demanded.

 

“I…” well the director hadn’t called cut yet so Makoto decided to just reply in character, “This isn’t honorable. They are unarmed!”

 

Toko just looked confused but the leader of the thugs and the samurai retainer were veteran actors who too noticed that the director hadn’t called cut despite the unexpected development. So they ran with it. The thug leader, who as on the ground, rolled away from the samurai retainer leader and gaining his feet, glared back at the leader and bite out, “That’s right! You call yourself samurai? What kind of samurai attacks unarmed folk!”

 

“The kind that knows how to honour their master,” replied the leader as he turned on Makoto, “You are the one without honour!”

 

“I don’t agree,” replied Makoto, “I mean, look at us! We are grappling in the streets like a bunch of thugs! With…” well they were samurai and they wouldn’t think very highly of non-samurai, “With a bunch of thugs! Sullying our swords like this. This is the height of dishonour!”

 

The leader of the retainers smirked, he was supposed to be a sadist, “Fine, we’ll do it your way,” he told Makoto.

 

“My… my way,” shuttered Makoto.

 

“You have a problem with our lord,” the retainer leader said, “Then come with me peacefully. I’ll take you to him and you can tell him your grievances in person!”

 

“It’s a trap!” Rin cried because, well why the hell not!

 

“It’s not,” the retainer leader assured everybody, “I will guarantee that no samurai will sully their blades with your blood! In fact, there will be no blood shed. Not the single drop…”

 

“Cut!” the director cried, and turning to the haggard looking screenwriter ordered, “You saw what happened. Redo scene 120. Instead of the samurai lord just finding out about the brawl, he gets to hear the grievances and the promise made and then orders the thugs buried alive or some other cruel death that won’t result in bloodshed.”

 

The screenwriter nodded and asked, “What about the samurai who spoke out of turn?” he said looking at Makoto, “He would be punished too.”

 

“No, not yet,” said the director, “At least not in scene 120. The lord is eccentric. Let’s make him be eccentric and then have him die a gruesome bloody death that will leave the audience angry with us for killing the only samurai who seems to have any honour. It’ll be brilliant!”

 

Makoto gulped. Why did he have to improvise? Because it was beginning to sound as if he was getting a bigger role in this movie. Other people seemed to also come to that conclusion because the assistant producer from before was whispering frantically to the director.

 

“Well make sure we get to keep him for more then the next three days!” the director yelled at the poor assistant producer, “I mean, all I have been getting are brainless sheeps! First sign of a brain and you are telling me I only have him until thursday! Well no! I don’t agree! Go find his bloody manager and make sure I get to keep him until I am satisfied! Now go and make it happen or you're fired!”

 

The poor assistant producer ran towards the room Makoto knew Shiori was using as an onsite office with some of the other managers as the director order the scene to be retaken because not everybody had been able to adjust quickly enough.

 

As the actors pulled each other up and dusted each other off, which make-up artists rushing in to apply touch-ups, Rin found himself close enough to Makoto and Toko to overhear the seething Toko say to Makoto, “Fuck you Tachibana, fuck you to hell! I hope Shinji gets you addicted to something nasty!” before stalking off. Makoto just sighed and turned his mind to the job at hand.

 

Rin on the other hand was torn between telling Toko off, marvelling at Makoto’s professionalism and wondering if he should be concerned about Shinji. Afterall, Rin knew Makoto and Shinji were working closely and Shinji was being something of a mentor to Makoto. Could Shinji really get Makoto addicted to something nasty? Surely Makoto wouldn’t ever taking drugs. Even just out of curiosity. But then Rin remembered Kuza. Surely Kuza never set out to take performance enhancing drugs. Surely Kuza had wanted to achieve his dreams on his own power, with hard work and playing within the rules. Then something happened and he turned to performance enhancing drugs. What was the saying, drop by drop a water pot is filled and so little by little we can all turn to things we never thought would touch us. So even Makoto could fall into darkness if he was not careful...

 

* * *

 

The car ride back also consisted of Shiori and Makoto talking only of Makoto’s schedule, “I can arrange the recording sessions to fit around the movie shoots,” said Shiori, “But you’ll have to be super organised not to fall sick and be on top of your homework. I mean, you don’t want to drop out of high school right.”

 

“I would set a bad example for Ren and Ran,” said Makoto, “Plus I like school.”

 

“Well then get ready to not sleep much,” said Shiori, “And eat ready made meals because I don’t see you having enough time to cook.”

 

“Don’t worry,” Rin pipped in, “I’ll feed him proper food!”

 

“You are such a nice not-boyfriend,” said Shiori, “Because you know…”

 

“Yeah, yeah, Makoto can’t date so that fangirl hearts remain intact,” said Rin, by now knowing where the conversation was headed. Makoto just buried his face in his hands, why must he be teased to mercilessly?

 

* * *

 

After Shiori dropped them off at home, Makoto went to bathe first while Rin got dinner started. When Makoto got out, he found Rin staring at Haru’s drawings of the aquarium filled home that had been inspired by Makoto and Haru’s stay at the Underwater hotel in Dubai. Makoto had made frames out of cardboards for them. Nothing too fancy, just a cardboard for the backing and a cardboard with an appropriate size hole cutout to frame the picture, with everything stuck together with glue.

 

Makoto smiled as he said, “Bath’s free!”

 

“Makoto,” Rin started, his back to Makoto, still facing the pictures, “There are two things I would really like you to promise me.”

 

“Sure thing,” Makoto said readily.

 

Rin turned around a bit annoyed, “Don’t just agree without hearing what I want first!”

 

“Well if its important enough for you to ask, I am sure I won’t say no,” countered Makoto.

 

Rin sighed and just decided to press on, “Firstly, I don’t ever want you to…” there really was no better word so Rin just went with the word that had first occurred to him, “Prostitute yourself for me.”

 

“Huh!”

 

“I mean,” he gestured towards Haru’s drawing, “Don’t take extra jobs or do favours for people to get something for me. Whatever it is, I don’t want it if it means you have to…” this was difficult to explain, “Do something… more....” he finished lamely.

 

Makoto blinked a bit. He got what Rin was saying but he wasn’t entirely sure about Rin’s choice of words. But he decided to not get hung-up on semantics.  “But I like,” Makoto started.

 

“No.”

 

“But…”

 

“No!”

 

Makoto sighed, “Fine! But I did really want to see Rin swim in a pool full of cherry blossoms,” he said with a pout.

 

Rin visibly started, “What…”

 

“Ah well, movie magic,” Makoto said with a grin.

 

“Fuck Makoto! Don’t tell me you took on that movie job to get me in a pool full of cherry blossoms because I once made an idle comment about how I wanted to do that?” asked Rin.

 

“No!” said Makoto, “I was… look don’t worry about it. I wasn’t going to do something extra.”

 

“Makoto…”

 

“Seriously! Don’t worry about it!”

 

Rin glared. Makoto sighed and decided to attempt to deflect the subject, “And the other thing?” he prompted..

 

This bit was even harder. Rin took a deep breath and said, “I am not Haru.”

 

“No you are Rin,” Makoto teased.

 

Rin choose to ignore him and go on, “I don’t know you inside out and conversely, you can’t read my mind. So, so let’s promise to… to always be honest and speak our mind when… when we are here. In this apartment,” Makoto blinked, Rin decided to speak on, even if he was rambling, “I mean, its not like I don’t hide things. Gou would say I am never honest about my feelings and I wouldn’t exactly disagree with her. Look what a mess of things I made last year!” he pointed out, “But I want to…” he trailed off, “I am scared of being honest with my feelings and I am sure you have reasons to never talk about yourself. Especially when you are troubled. But if you don’t share, I won’t be able to tell. Just like if I don’t share my feeling, you won’t know what’s going on in my head. Because I am not…” Rin sighed, “Haru. So… so let’s be honest with each other when we are alone, here in this six tatami apartment,” Rin looked at Makoto expectantly.

 

Makoto was silent for awhile but then he smiled and said, “Sure, I promise.”

 

“Great,” said Rin with a smile, but then his face hardened, “You can start by telling me what you have been planning with the whole cherry blossom thing!”

 

“What’s for dinner, I am starving!” Makoto said as he headed for the kitchen.

 

“Makoto!!!!”

 

* * *

 

Tuesday saw Makoto start juggling movies shoots, recording session, merman training, any modelling photo shoots and not to mention his school work. While Rin started his routine for the rest of his suspension - training on his own at the aquatic centre, studying to get ahead of his school work and thinking of what else he wanted to do besides swimming.

 

It was a strange week. Sometimes the time passed quickly, other times the time just dragged. It kind of reminded Rin of the long nights in his dorm the summer before when he would just be lying in his bunk waiting for the sun to rise, remembering in vivid details the winter of their last year of elementary school. It wasn’t always pleasant and by the time Friday rolled around, Rin was more than ready to start training again.

 

Friday morning Makoto handed Rin a pass for the aquarium for when his merman video and photo shoot was going to happen. “Come see me if you can,” he told him before rushing out the door, having inhaled his breakfast.

 

Rin sighed, as much as he enjoying training Makoto to be a merman, Rin was glad that after today the merman training would not be necessary and Makoto would have one less thing to juggle and worry about.

 

He spent the day per normal. At first he thought to go straight to the aquarium from the aquatic center but then decided to come home, strange to think of Makoto’s apartment as home, first and cook. Rin figured by the time Makoto got back, it would be late and they would probably end-up getting take-out or convenience store food if nothing was cooked and waiting. Rin was half tempted to break his no seafood rule but decided to go with good ol’ lamb instead.

 

Unfortunately, he miscalculated and by the time he was done, he was running seriously late. Indeed, Makoto’s shoot would have well and truly started by the time he got there. Nevermind, Makoto was likely to be there for a few hours. So it was all good.

 

Just as he put the keys in his pocket, there was a knock on the door. “Oh what now!” he thought, not expecting anyone, he opened the door without thinking and was confronted with, “Haru!”

 

* * *

 

Makoto wondered where Rin was but figured that either Rin was running late or decided not to come. Right about now Makoto wished he had decided not to come too because those sharks looked really scary.

 

“They are just reef sharks,” one of the aquarium employees who was attending to the shoot told him, “Besides all sharks have a bad rap. Unless you provoke them, they are unlikely to hurt you.”

 

“I’ll do my best to keep out of their way,” said Makoto with a smile.

 

“Also try not to damage the corals,” the attendant told him, “I understand the director wants you to swim very close to the corals.”

 

“Through that hoop like shape the corals have made,” Makoto said pointing to a structure about 10 meters from the edge of the tank.

 

The attendant did not look pleased but only said, “Watch your tail.” Makoto nodded.

 

He was given the order to dive in, taking a deep breath Makoto did. He swam about a bit, like he and Rin and been practicing. Gliding through the coral loop and even managing a full body twist. He surfaced about ten minutes later to murmurs of astonishment and praise. The observers were really impressed with his movements. Makoto was once again glad that Rin was a such a technical genius when it came to all things swimming.

 

Makoto was told to dive again and this time hold certain poses. To aid in that, he would use weights to keep himself weighted down and steady. It was a little unnerving but Makoto managed somehow. They then mixed it up and had him swimming around a bit for some video shots. Then they set up another set of photoshoots with the weights, as Makoto had a little break.

 

“You are doing great,” said one of the production assistants, “You really swim like a merman.”

 

“Thanks, I had help from a great trainer,” replied Makoto.

 

“We are ready for you,” said another assistant.

 

“Right,” and Makoto dived-in and got in position.

 

“Get the glow sticks ready and cut the lights,” said the second assistant.

 

“Oh shit!” cried the first assistant, “I forgot to tell him we were going to do that!”

 

Makoto wasn’t sure what was happening but just as he had hooked himself into the weights that were sitting at the bottom of the shark tank, everything went dark. Makoto full on panicked and started to fumble with the weight, trying to get himself free. Confused and panic, Makoto wasn’t controlling his breath properly exhaling too quickly.

 

“Haru!” he found himself mentally calling, “Haru!” the name was like a mantra and it calmed him enough to somehow undo the weights. He headed for the surface but it was too dark and he ran into something. Something soft… no! A shark! Did he just provoke a shark? He tried to swim away but then his tail bumped into something and was snagged!

 

“Haru!” Makoto was now screaming in his head as panic totally and utterly gripped him, “Haru!” and suddenly Haru was there. Haru was there!

  
Makoto didn’t know how or why but Haru was there, holding something that illuminated the darkness around him, around them. Haru touched his face and that was all it took to start calm Makoto down. Makoto was still out of breath but Haru seemed to know that. Without hesitation, Haru sealed his lips around Makoto’s and shared some of his breath with him. There was another calming touch before Haru let go of Makoto and dived down to unsnag his tail from the coral, freeing him and they headed to the surface together...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the longish wait between this chapter and the last. RL got in the way :( Anyway, hopefully people are still reading this and finding it not boring! Thanks in advance for any reviews, comments or kudos!


	21. Chapter 21

“Haru!” cried Rin, stunned to see his friend and rival here in Tokyo, standing in front of him, wasn’t he supposed to be in Iwatobi?

 

“Rin!” Haru was equally surprised, what was Rin doing here on friday evening? Didn’t Rin and Makoto meet-up during weekends only? Being a straightforward person, Haru simply asked, “What are you doing here?”

 

“I am staying here for the time being,” said Rin, after taking a deep breath to calm himself.

 

“Why?” demanded Haru.

 

“Does it matter?” asked Rin irritated, “What are you doing here?”

 

Haru glared at him and roughly pushed him aside to enter the apartment and drop his bag. That was when Rin noticed Haru had a rather large and heavy looking bag and clearly looked like he was here for a long stay. Rin’s heart dropped. It was over, his time with Makoto was over because when Haru was around, everybody paled into insignificance and Makoto only had eyes for Haru.

 

“Where’s Makoto?” demanded Haru.

 

“He’s at his photoshoot at the aquarium,” said Rin, “You know the merman shoot.”

 

“Merman shoot?” wondered Haru.

 

“Ah… didn’t he tell you?” asked Rin surprised.

 

“No…” Haru felt panic rise within him, just how dangerous was his photoshoot. Suddenly he was running out the door.

 

“Haru!” Rin called, confused and a bit annoyed. Really, Haru could be such a handful. He barely remembered to lock the door behind him as he chased after Haru.

 

He didn’t have to run too far however, as reason dawned on Haru soon and he stopped to wait for Rin. Tokyo afterall had four aquariums with two others located in nearby Yokohama and Enoshima respectively. Plus he probably would need some sort of special credentials to get in to see Makoto and he needed to see Makoto. See his smile, he just had to.

 

* * *

 

Makoto’s shoot was in Sunshine Aquarium in Ikebukuro, which was some distance away. The train ride there was a frigid affair. Rin had forgotten what it was like to be on the wrong side of Haru. It’s was the same as when he first ran him to Haru and the others back in the old swim club. It was more what it had been like when they were in the sixth grade and Haru had been utterly unsociable with him. Haru had changed since then and he no longer treated other people as coldly or brashly, letting some of the warmth that had always been inside seep out. But right now, right now Haru was back to the cold child who was trying to drive Rin away before Rin even made any attempts to get close. Rin didn’t really want to deal with that Haru again.

 

For his part, Haru was just mad at Makoto. He was angry that none of the texts Makoto sent him recently mention Rin was staying with him for longer than a night. He was angry that Makoto hadn’t mentioned this merman shoot. Actually, now that he thought about it, Makoto hadn’t chatted with him for long in the last week or so. Haru now guessed it was because Rin was around and Makoto didn’t feel right being on chat with Haru for too long with Rin hovering about. Haru had simply assumed Makoto had been busy and was tired.

 

As the train ride went on, Haru started to calm down and reason started to rear its head. Makoto must not have mentioned Rin was staying with him because Haru’s response to the statement “hey, Rin is staying with me” would have been “why?” and Haru guessed Makoto did not want to share the “why” with Haru. Probably it was something personal for Rin and so Makoto felt uncomfortable sharing it.

 

As for the merman thing… Haru didn’t have the faintest clue why Makoto had chosen to keep that from him. Haru suspected some measure of freediving would be involved but given Makoto was at an indoor aquarium, it meant that the open sea was not involved in any way shape or form. So why didn’t Makoto just tell him.

 

Haru tried to think back to his last trip to the Sunshine Aquarium. It had been a few years since his parents had taken him there but it couldn’t have changed that much. Come of think of it. Weren’t most of the tanks at the Sunshine Aquarium small window type tanks that only had a few select variety of fish. Indeed the only really large tanks at the Aquarium were the shark tanks… No!

 

Haru was so agitated that he couldn’t sit still. He started fidgeting, he stood-up but then sat down again. Why was this train not moving faster! “What the hell is wrong with you?” demanded Rin, losing patience.

 

Haru glared at him, “Did you know Makoto was swimming in a shark tank?”

 

“Huh?” Rin was surprised.

 

“I have been to all the aquariums in Tokyo,” replied Haru, Rin wouldn’t be surprised if Haru had been to every aquarium in Japan at least once, “The only tanks big enough for Makoto to swim in at the Sunshine Aquarium are the shark tanks!”

 

Now Rin looked worried, “I didn’t know,” he confessed, “He didn’t tell me, damn it!” Didn’t they just promised to be honest with each other.

 

Although Rin was sure in Makoto’s mind it was all in keeping with his promise to Rin or maybe since Makoto had already shared what he wanted to about the shoot with Rin before the promise, he didn’t feel like offering-up additional details after the promise was made. Rin tried to think back to what Makoto had said about the shoot but couldn’t recall sharks being mentioned. He just mentioned that he would be in a tank with an artificial reef because that was the prettiest setting. Rin had never visited any of the aquariums in Tokyo and so even if he wasn’t stressed and pre-occupied with his own crap, he wouldn’t have been able to pick-up on the fact that the reef tank Makoto mentioned contained sharks. Given how little information Haru needed to deduce that Makoto was swimming in a shark tank was a good indication that Haru would have known and so Makoto had simply omitted the whole shoot.

 

He had also not mentioned Rin’s prolonged stay but Rin could guess why Makoto hadn’t. “I got suspended from the swim program,” Rin blurted out, he was sick of secrets. Haru’s eyes widened in surprised as Rin pressed on, “I punched a teammate for… dredging up some painful things from Australia,” Rin was not going to get into Anne and he knew Haru wouldn’t dig or simply assume it was swimming related, “Makoto kindly offered to let me stay with him as things would be awkward for me at the dorm and because at first it was looking like I would be kicked off the program entirely. But,” Rin explained, “When the guy I punched was taken to the hospital, they found out he was a drug cheat. So they are letting me off the hook with a week suspension and a warning because they just want to bury the story now.”

 

“Oh,” so that explained why the program management wanted him to come to tryout again out of the blue, thought Haru, “The program coordinators contacted me last week and told me to come for a time trial for today,” Haru explained, “I didn’t tell Makoto because I wanted to surprise him. I guess a number of swimmers are going to be kicked-out, suspended or otherwise dropped from the team and they are shot swimmers.”

 

Rin was surprised, “You passed,” it was not a question. Haru didn’t bother answering. Well it was well and truly over now, Rin’s time with Makoto that is, “I supposed you are going to stay with Makoto.”

 

“I wanted to,” admitted Haru, “But they said they aren’t approving off-site accommodation for new swimmers. I have to report to the dorm sunday night, ahead of practice starting monday.”

 

“Oh,” as all Rin said. He himself was planning to return to the dorms on sunday. But he supposed Haru would prefer Rin return sooner rather then later. Rin sighed. Haru’s only got here and he was already feeling like an unwanted third wheel. The rest of the trip was spent in somewhat uncomfortable silence.

 

* * *

 

Showing the pass that Makoto had left for Rin got them escorted to the viewing area of the shark tank. But they seemed to have arrived at a lull point in the shooting because while there were plenty of sharks, there was no Makoto to be seen in the tank. There were few of production crew members on laptops checking shots and videos as they were relayed from the camera’s inside the tanks but nothing more.

 

Haru guessed correctly that the bulk of the action and Makoto, was in the area above the tanks. So, in typical Haruka fashion he simply located the nearest “employees only” door that had been jammed open so the production crew could enter and exit freely and simply walked in. “Haru!” Rin called, “You can’t…”

 

“I want to see Makoto,” Haru replied simply but determinedly.

 

For a moment Rin had an insight into what Haru must have been like as a toddler. He could just imagine Haru throwing tantrums until his favourite plaything was returned to him. Rin bet Makoto as a sweet child who just let Haru do whatever he wanted to him. Rin sighed and followed.

 

They got to the tank opening to find a scene of frantic activity. Couple of assistants had a pile of what looked like glow sticks near them and a few in each hand, it looked like they were going to throw them into the tank. Just as Rin had deduced this much, he heard someone say, “Get the glow sticks ready and cut the lights.”

 

“Oh shit!” cried some else, “I forgot to tell him we were going to do that!”

 

Before Rin had time to even process what he just heard the room went dark save for the glow sticks and some emergency lights too faint to illuminate much. Rin was disorientated and blinked rapidly to adjust to the reduced illumination. Next to him he heard the chink of Haru’s belt buckle hit the floor. He turned just in time to see Haru take-off in a run, pausing only to grab a glow stick before diving in.

 

“Turn the lights on!” someone screamed. But the lights didn’t seem to come on as fast as they went off.

 

By the time they did, Haru had already brought Makoto to the surface. A pale scared Makoto who had Haru’s hand in a vice grip, “Haru,” he kept repeating, “Haru,” like a mantra. Haru said nothing. Simply held on to Makoto’s hand.

 

Rin got to the tank edge bodily pulled Makoto out, “The fuck Makoto,” he was trying very hard not to yell, “You never told me you were going to be in a shark tank!” He helped Makoto settle on the floor since Makoto’s legs were useless inside the fin and tail.

 

Makoto was breathing hard but was calming down. He finally settled when Haru climbed out of the tank and sat down next to him, “Sorry,” he said forcing a grin, “Didn’t want to worry you.”

Haru didn’t say a word but he didn’t have to. Makoto didn’t need words to understand Haru. “I am sorry Haru,” he said sincerely, “I knew you would remember that the only reef display big enough for me to swim in was in the reef shark tank reef. So I didn’t mention it. I didn’t want you to worry either. Especially since I thought you would be in Iwatobi.”

 

“You can thank Rin’s hot temper,” Haru said dryly after a moment. Makoto got it was meant to be a joke but he didn’t really get it. Rin seemed to though and was glaring at Haru.

 

About then the assistant who had forgotten to tell Makoto what they were planning ran to him and started apologising. Makoto, predictably, just smiled and trying to reassure and calm her. It was not their place to say something. So both Haru and Rin held their tongue. But the look on their face was told a wholly different story.

 

“Are you alright?” asked the production director, coming-up to Makoto, “Was the tail damaged? Can you go again? We still need more shots.”

 

Rin was about ready to punch someone because Makoto still looked so very pale. “Makoto,” whispered Haru.

 

Makoto just turned and smiled at Haru, “It’s fine, Haru,” he said, “I am okay now. Especially since you are here,” turning back to the director he replied, “I am fine and can go again but I haven’t check the tail yet.”

 

The tail was dutifully checked by the prop department. It was  damaged but nothing that would mar the photos or video in a way that couldn’t be corrected in post-production. After a short recovery, Makoto was made to dive again but in a small blessing, they had to abandon the glow sticks thing they were trying. Not because of Makoto but because no one had cleared it with aquarium staff and when they realised they were planning on toss glow sticks into the shark tank, they put their foot down.

 

“They don’t care,” it suddenly hit Rin, “Maybe if Makoto was a bigger star who couldn’t be easily replaced or whose name carried weight, it would be different. But then again, I am the same. We both need to make it big before we are more than replaceable cogs,” but even then, they were only irreplaceable while they were at their peak. Past their peaks... Rin shrugged the thought off. It was too early to be thinking of past their peak. What they needed to do now was to make sure their peaks were so lofty and high that people had to crane their heads really back to see it.

 

* * *

 

“Ah! I wish you could stay with me!” said Makoto, they were back at his apartment and having a very late meal since the shoot hadn’t finished until 9 and even though Makoto had been offered and accepted a taxi by the production management, they still hadn’t gotten in until very close to 10 PM. Rin was very glad he had cooked before leaving, if only because Makoto seemed to be really enjoying the food, “I wish you could both stay with me,” he said.

 

“I didn’t realise you enjoyed my cooking so much,” Rin joked.

 

“Well I do love your cooking but that’s not all,” protested Makoto, “I like your company more than your cooking and your cooking is great!” he said. Rin blushed and couldn’t help but chance a glance at Haru.

 

Haru wasn’t really paying attention to the conversation. He was alternating between staring at his food and look at the wall where his sketches hung. He didn’t say anything but Makoto smiled as he followed his gaze and said, “Tomorrow we’ll go shopping for mackerels. I have some time before I have to go to the movie set and thanks for the sketches Haru-chan, they really help me.”

 

Haru was surprised, “Help you, how?”

 

“They always fill me with energy and help me focus when I am feeling exhausted, homesick and stuff like that,” Makoto answered readily. Haru smiled, Rin lost his appetite.

 

“I’ll return to the dorm tomorrow,” he said suddenly.

 

“Huh, why?” wondered Makoto.

 

“Your place is too small for all three of us, plus you only have two futons,” Rin pointed out, suddenly wondering what the sleeping arrangement tonight was going to be.

 

“That’s not a problem,” replied Makoto, “Haru and I have shared futons before. We’ll do that tonight and tomorrow we’ll buy another futon while getting mackerels and anything else Haru needs,” he said, “So you know, if you guys both decide to sleepover from time to time, I’ll have enough bedding.”

 

“Or we can just keep sharing,” suggest Haru deadpan.

 

“Ah, won’t you be uncomfortable?” wondered Makoto, “I mean, I sleep on my back and kind of take-up a lot of space.”

 

“Doesn’t bother me,” said Haru.

 

“Okay then,” said Makoto with a bright smile, “We’ll share.”

 

“Maybe I should return tonight or at least find a hotel and let you two have the room to ‘catch-up’,” suggested Rin, in a grouchy put-off tone.

 

“Huh?” Makoto was confused, “You mean catch-up on news or just talk more about how we have been keeping?” he asked innocently, “I don’t think we’ll be talking much. I mean, I am beat and Haru’s probably tired from the time trials and everything else. I am pretty sure I am just going to be sleeping like a log.”

 

Both Rin and Haru shot Makoto a look, “What?” wondered Makoto confused.

 

They gave-up and changed the subject, “Why don’t you have mackerel?” wondered Haru.

 

“I am not going to cook fucking mackerel!” declared Rin, “I mean, forget mackerel, even tuna makes him sad!” said Rin, point towards Makoto.

 

Makoto smiled sheepishly. But Haru smiled brightly and said, “You missed me,” it was obvious, something Haru wouldn’t normally waste words saying but it refused to stay in, Makoto just smiled in reply, “Well I am here now, so we’ll have mackerels everyday.”

 

“Well maybe not everyday,” said Makoto a little nervously, “Variety is good and Rin cooks delicious lamb.”

 

“Who said I would be cooking again?” wondered Rin feeling unreasonably annoyed.

 

“Eh, but I would miss Rin’s cooking,” said Makoto simply, looking a bit sad. Haru kept poking at his food and frowning before resuming eating.

 

Rin gave-up, it was hopeless. He was hopelessly in love with Makoto and that was all there was to it. But, Rin realised, Haru wasn’t hope less. In fact, it was the opposite. Haru was so confident in his bond with Makoto that Rin, or more accurately, Makoto’s behaviour towards Rin didn’t even register.

  
Further musing on Rin’s part and all their meal was interrupted when someone banged loudly on the door, “Open-up Tachibana,” came a voice neither Rin nor Haru recognised, but Makoto certainly did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about the lame chapter.


	22. Chapter 22

“Open-up Tachibana,” came a voice as someone banged on the door.

 

“Who the hell…” started Rin.

 

“Did you forget to pay rent?” wondered Haru stoically but Makoto smiled, knowing Haru was joking since Haru knew better than anyone that Makoto was too responsible to forget rent.

 

“It’s Shinji-san,” explained Makoto was he got up and opened the door, “Shinji-san is everything alright?” Makoto asked, “It’s late.”

 

“Is it?” wondered Shinji, somewhat glassy eyed and looking slightly out of it. Shinji looked around and noted the deep dark, “Ah nevermind that, I have been busy writing and you got to hear my new song!” with that he made a motion to enter. Makoto let him, if only because he could tell Shinji wasn’t about to leave without an argument.

 

“Can’t this wait until…” Makoto was about to say tomorrow but suddenly realised he hadn’t seen Shinji all week and wouldn’t see him until later next week.

 

Makoto was grateful for his increased role in the movie, if only because of the money. He wasn’t getting paid for music recording sessions per say. He had a small stipend to cover living expense under the music recording contract but that’s about it. At least his modelling jobs, while few, because Shiori insisted on not diluting his brand with catalogue jobs or magazines that were deemed not important enough, were now both high profile and relatively highly paid. However, the increased role meant he had less time with Shinji and had to rely on him more and more to come-up with the songs. Though Makoto himself had been working on a song that he had tentatively titled Ever Blue.

 

“It can’t wait,” said Shinji, noting and ignoring Haru and Rin, “Inspiration has a time limit you know,” Shinji looked at the food, braised lamb and fragrant jasmine rice with sauteed vegetable, all courtesy of Rin. “Do you have any cookies?” he wondered, “I am kind of hungry.”

 

“Cookies?” wondered Makoto, “I don’t really have snacks except for the dried fruit and nut bars,” it was a conscious decision since Makoto knew he was fully capable of living on junk food and thus doing serious damage to both his health and body and he actually had a weight clause in his contract that included fat to muscle ratio.

 

“That’ll do,” said Shinji cheerfully, “Anyway, so there I was…” he started a story about how he was in a huge slump and totally going nowhere with new songs and being grateful for the break in recording. “But of course Shiori is a bitch who just doesn’t understand the creative process but fortunately I have been in this business long enough to know how to get around a writers block or maybe it should be a composers block,” Shinji started laughing at his own joke.

 

“Dude are you high?” wondered Rin. As Makoto looked disturbed. Haru still wore his usual expression but Makoto knew Haru didn’t like the situation.

 

Shinji ignored Rin’s question, “Anyway, I think I have the perfect song! I am calling it ‘Walking on’ or maybe ‘Forward’ or something like!” and proceeded to sing… if what Shinji was doing could be considered singing. It just sounded like someone was strangling a cat to Rin and Haru.

 

“It’s good!” protested Makoto, addressing Haru, who was giving him a look, “I mean, maybe the melody is a bit off and maybe the name could be shortened to just ‘Walk’ but the lyrics are solid.”

 

“What lyrics?” demanded Rin, “All I heard was screeching!”

 

“Ah well, let me try,” and with that Makoto started singing. Rin had never heard Makoto sing. It was amazing! Especially since Makoto rendered that cat strangling into an intelligible and rather awesome rock song.

 

“Well shit!” cursed Rin, “That was awesome Makoto. I didn’t know you could sing like that!”

 

“I did,” said Haru, a little proudly. Makoto smiled at them both.

 

“Well that’s why you sing and I write,” said Shinji and brought out from his pocket… a bong?

 

“O hell no!” said Rin jumping to his feet.

 

Makoto didn’t even bother trying to say something but went straight to physically stopping Shinji by grabbing the hand holding the bong, “Shinji-san no,” he used the firm tone he normally only used with his siblings, “I don’t want you smoking anything in my house.”

 

Shinji made a disapproving noise, “You are such a freaking saint,” managing to make ‘saint’ sound like the worst thing in the universe, “No wonder all that songs you write are saccharin sweet and fluffy. Like cotton candy. But you know Tachibana,” he said, suddenly getting serious, “Cotton candy doesn’t fill you up. It’s mostly vapid and empty. You’ll never get anywhere if that’s all you can make. So you know…” he leered.

 

“I am going to be planting my fist in this moron’s face before this is all over, aren’t I?” Rin commented to no one in particular. Haru just looked grim.

 

“Makoto,” Haru called, Makoto looked at him for just a moment but a silent conversation took place between them. Rin tried to guess what they said to each other but couldn’t begin to fathom what they read in each others eyes.

 

Makoto turned back to Shinji after a moment and said, “I don’t need to do drugs to write… non-fluffy songs,” protested Makoto, “And what’s wrong with fluff anyway? I don’t want to write angst I can’t relate to. What do I know about parents who are indifferent or worse or about girlfriends who cheat and… and stuff like that! I’ll… I’ll write angst from the heart, which is also how I write fluffy stuff.”

 

“Yeah well, that doesn’t mean it will be good,” countered Shinji.

 

“No, no it doesn’t,” agreed Makoto, “But that’s besides the point!” he insisted, “Anyway, are we done here?”

 

“Fine, fine,” said Shinji, and headed for the door, then stopped and added as an after though, “Don’t tell Shiori. I mean, you wouldn’t want me getting fired would you?” before Makoto can answer, “Of your could wouldn’t, who is going to write your songs if not me!” with that he left.

 

There was a long moment of pause as everybody gathered their thoughts together. Rin was the first to break the silence, “You need to get rid of that guy ASAP,” in told Makoto.

 

“Shinji-san is… disturbed but he’s…”

 

“Makoto,” Rin interrupted, “Everything that’s good about you, is absolutely shithouse when dealing with an addict. You aren’t helping that guy but enabling him.”

 

“I am not enabling him!” Makoto protested, “I mean…” his face fell into lines of misery as he reconsidered, “Maybe I am. I don’t know anymore. But I know nothing good will come off ratting him out to Shiori-san. All that’ll do is putting Shinji-san back on the streets and maybe committing crimes to feed his drug habits. It’ll… it’ll be bad all around! Because I do need him!”

 

“No you fucking don’t!” declared Rin, “And he knows it too! That’s why he’s trying to put you down and make you think you need him.”

 

“No that’s not right, my songs… are too sweet and only good to be filler material of an album. The tracks that’ll be released as singles that stuff, that’ll all be what Shinji-san wrote. Even my non-fluffy songs are… not good,” explains Makoto.

 

“I don’t believe that for a moment!” said Rin.

 

“Well you haven’t heard my songs!” pointed out Makoto, “Besides, if this is about Shinji-san offering my drugs and making drug related comments, that would happen even if he wasn’t there. I mean, he’s not the only one to do that and he won’t be the only one. Frankly I find…” he paused and glanced at Haru, “Other things more disturbing,” he finished lamely.

 

“What other things?” wondered Rin. Haru for the time being was happy to let Rin do the talking since so far Rin was asking all the questions Haru wanted to ask.

 

“No… nothing,” stammered Makoto.

 

“Makoto…” said Rin. Makoto averted his gaze.

 

Haru got-up and stood face to face with Makoto, gently he place his hand on Makoto’s shoulder, “Makoto, what other things?” he asked gently.

 

“People… people keep coming on to!” he declared, comically intensely. Both Rin and Haru couldn’t help but snicker. “Don’t laugh! It’s a serious problem!” said Makoto indignantly, “I mean, its not like I am getting confessed to like in school! I mean there is some of that and turning down those suck as much as it used to in school! But now some people just want to… hook-up or something and it’s really uncomfortable when they come on to me really strongly. I mean, one girl started unbuttoning her shirt! Another full on flashed me! Then when I escaped into the men’s toilet, one of the guys in there noticed… noticed umm… the state of my pants and offered to help! It was horrible!”

 

“Well shit,” said Rin, “It does sound annoying,” admitted Rin, “Although I am glad you are turning them all down. Even the love confessions.”

 

“That’s it isn’t it,” said Makoto, “How can they be in love with me when they don’t know anything about me? I mean, I only got one proper love confession and that was from Zaki-chan. Why I accepted it. I don’t want a confession based on swallow connections,” admitted Makoto.

 

“I am glad,” said Haru with a smile, “Makoto deserves more than that. But you know Makoto, you shouldn’t assume your songs aren’t good enough. Not until you have sung them for me… for us,” Haru rectified, remembering Rin.

 

Makoto nodded but didn’t say anything else. He just felt drained. Perhaps sensing that, Haru suggested, “Let’s finish eating and go to bed,” to this they all agreed.

 

* * *

 

Year of getting-up early for training meant that no matter how exhausted Rin was, his internal body clock would go off at 5:30 AM, just in time for his morning run. Although normally he wasn’t greeted with a sight that soured his mood instantly, because just across for him Haru and Makoto were cuddling! Well Haru was cuddling Makoto, Makoto was sleeping on his back like a log and Haru was all over him. Rin was tempted to wake Haru up but didn’t.

 

Instead he started to put his futon away as quietly as he could. But he wasn’t quiet enough or rather, didn’t realised just how light a sleeper Haru was. Haru carefully got up and asked, “What are you doing?”

 

“Going for a run,” said Rin simply.

 

“I’ll join,” said Haru.

 

“Heh, great! We can race,” said Rin, “And I’ll show you just how powerful my legs have become.”

 

Haru smirked, “Bring it on!”

 

By the time Makoto woke-up, both Haru and Rin were gone. Haru left him a text telling him they were going for a run. So Makoto didn’t worry and started to get breakfast ready. He was just about done when Rin and Haru returned.

 

“Tadaima,” said Rin, coming in.

 

Haru didn’t like it, “Don’t you mean ojama shimasu,” he corrected.

 

Rin glared at Haru. Makoto laughed and replied, “Okaerinasai Haru, Rin,” grinning he asked, “Who won?” correctly guessing they had turned their morning run into a match.

 

“I did,” replied Rin proudly.

 

“But not by much,” said Haru, “If you are proud of such small victories, then you have truly become a small man,” Rin was livid.

 

But, “Now, now, let’s not have a repeat of the crab festival,” said Makoto, smoothly trying to diffuse Rin and Haru’s tendency to compete whenever they were near each other, “Besides,” he added grinning, “There isn’t much for you guys to compete over in my apartment.”

 

“There is food,” Rin pointed out and then smirking, “And you!”

 

“There can be no competition with Makoto, Rin,” replied Haru, “Makoto is mine,” Haru declared with finality.

 

Rin narrowed his eyes and would probably have said a few things that none of them were ready to have in the open when Makoto unwittingly interrupted by laughing out loud, “I am glad because having you two compete over me would be too embarrassing!” he said jokingly, “As for food,” Makoto thought for a moment, “As long as its not too messy because I absolutely don’t have time to clean-up after a food fight!”

 

Rin let it go, “I am having my shower first,” he declared. While in the shower Rin wondered what Makoto meant by his comment but eventually deciding he probably meant nothing in particular by it. More importantly, Rin did NOT want to compete over Makoto. The last thing Rin wanted was reduce Makoto to some sort of prize he and Haru fought over. He liked competing with Haru and probably would compete with him for the rest of his life. Even over stupid stuff like fortunes but Makoto was too important, at least to Rin, for one of their silly competitions.

 

Rin emerged to find Haru and Makoto fiddling with their phones, “There!” said Makoto, “Now you can see my calendar,” Haru nodded, Makoto grinned.

 

Rin sighed and got Makoto’s spare key off his keychains and put it on the table next to Haru, “I supposed you’ll want this,” he said not looking at anyone.

 

“Only if you don’t want it any more,” said Makoto, “I already gave, Haru-chan a key.”

 

Rin blinked, “This apartment had three keys to the front door?”

 

“Unusual I know,” said Makoto, “But the previous tenant was a single mother with two daughters. One in high school and the other in middle, so she needed three keys for all of them.”

 

“This place is a bit small for three people isn’t it?” commented Rin as he took the key back, a little too eagerly if the look Haru shot him was any indication.

 

“I am sure they weren’t staying here because they wanted to,” replied Makoto, “Not that they were here for long. About a year or so. I met them just as I was moving in,” he explained, “They moved down the street to a slightly bigger apartment. The girls at least were excited.”

 

“Are you sure they weren’t just excited to see you?” asked Rin. Makoto just laughed.

 

* * *

 

Makoto didn’t end-up going to the fish market with Haru afterall, realising with the cold light of day that turning-up to a movie set after a visiting a fish market was probably not a good idea. Instead Rin and Haru ended-up going together and ended-up competing over who could haggle the most, who could get the biggest fish for the cheapest (although Haru threw that match when he simply bought the biggest mackerel for as cheap as he could get it, while Rin went for a tuna per kg Rin won by a mile).

 

They came home and competed over who could cook the most delicious fish dish, to be judged by Makoto once he got home, who could do the dishes fastest and a myriad of other things that only halted when Makoto returned.

 

For his part, Makoto made sure to eat both the tuna and the mackel in equal proportions and declare them both delicious. “You are so wishy washy!” complained Haru. Makoto just grinned. “Doesn’t matter, though,” said Haru, “Mackel still wins and I still get to sleep with you,” he added with a grin.

 

“Please don’t phrase it like that Haru-chan,” complained Makoto blushing, “It makes it sound as if we are about to do something perverted.”

 

“Not with me in the room you are not!” declared Rin.

 

“We wouldn’t do anything even if you weren’t here!” Makoto protested.

 

“Or would we…” Haru pipped in.

 

“Haru!” came Makoto’s exasperated reply. Haru just grinned.

 

* * *

 

The next morning Makoto woke-up just as Haru and Rin were getting ready for their run. They invited him to join them. Makoto knew it was a bad idea but agreed to anyway, if only because he wanted to run with them, with Haru, even though he didn’t like running much.

 

It was fine at first but soon, Rin and Haru started to quicken and quicken their pace. Before long Makoto was left far behind but neither noticed as they were caught-up competing with each other. Makoto sighed and dropped his pace, he knew this would happen, but it still kind of hurt to be left behind like that. It was the crab festival all over again. Suddenly Makoto felt really sad, remember the lonely walk he had taken to return home when Haru had ditched not only him but the rest of his friends to compete with Rin in increasingly stupid matches.

 

For a brief moment Makoto wondered if instead of seeing more of Haru now that Haru was in Tokyo, he would just end-up not seeing much of either of them because they would be too busy competing with each other. The thought made Makoto even sadder. He sighed again and decided to just head back. Maybe stop at the convenience store and pick-up some drinks. Maybe some sports drinks since those two were likely to be thirsty when they got back and he didn’t think he had any sports drinks in his fridge. For himself he might grab some oolong tea for now and a maybe a can of coffee for later.

  
Did he need anything else? He couldn’t remember but he probably should go home, take stock and make a shopping list. He hadn’t had a chance to go do his weekly grocery shopping and he probably should do it this morning. He had the afternoon off but had to go to the movie set this evening and he wasn’t sure when he could go shopping next if he didn’t go this morning. Occupying his mind with just domestic concerns, Makoto successfully diverted his mind brooding too much on being forgotten by Rin and Haru.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading


	23. Chapter 23

“Where the hell is Makoto?” demanded Rin when the two had reached their limits or at least the point when they knew further running would mean they would have issues even walking back home.

 

Haru didn’t know, he looked around concerned. Cursing himself for not noticing that Makoto was falling behind. He should have stopped and waited for him to catch-up. But surely he couldn’t be that far behind? So they waited, as they caught their breath but there was no Makoto in sight.

 

“He… he ditched us!” Rin concluded after a while. “I can’t believe he ditched us!”

 

Haru didn’t answer and instead headed back. Rin followed, simultaneously pulling out his phone as he intended to send a quick message to Makoto. But instead found a short text waiting for him, “Hey, heading back and going grocery shopping. Left sports drink for you guys in the fridge. Depending on how far you guys run, I might be back before you guys get back. (^.^) - Makoto”

 

“He really did ditch us!” exclaimed Rin.

 

That didn’t make sense to Haru. Makoto would never ditch anyone. But he had turned back… he must have been able to keep-up and instead of calling to Haru and Rin to slow down, he just left. That was so like Makoto that Haru couldn’t really argue but what really got to him was how easily Makoto gave-up trying to keep-up with them. Makoto didn’t used to be like this… was it just that his life was so busy that he just couldn’t be bothered? That filled Haru with dread. He didn’t like the idea of Makoto giving-up on him, of being okay without him and he didn’t care if the thought was selfish!

 

“Hey,” Rin said after a minute, “Is Makoto angry with us?” he asked, “I mean, why did he ditch us?”

 

“Makoto doesn’t get angry, not for real,” said Haru, “He only get annoyed if people are bothering him too much and he didn’t ‘ditch’ us. Makoto doesn’t ditch his friends.”

 

“But…”

 

“Makoto’s never been comfortable running,” said Haru, “But since middle school, whenever he trains and puts on a lot of muscles really easily. But it’s never the lean kind that helps you run well. He also doesn’t like running because its hard on his frame,” but he didn’t mind the beach running during their training camp. Probably because it was easier on his feet. Speaking of that, what was Rei saying about tall people and running… something about shoes?

 

“Well I feel like a dick now,” Rin interjected, “If I knew Makoto was going to have issues keeping-up, I would have ran slower or taken an easier route. Why doesn’t he say anything!”

 

“Makoto wouldn’t be Makoto if he whined,” Haru said.

 

Rin glared, “He doesn’t have to whine! Just… just share a bit!” Haru didn’t reply.

 

Something about this conversation was making him uneasy. But Haru had no idea why it was making him uneasy. He took a minute to examine his feelings but when he couldn’t find anything in the first few probes, he decided to drop it for now and just get back home as soon as he could.

 

* * *

 

“I am home!” called Makoto as he entered the flat, laden with groceries, “Something smells nice!”

 

“Welcome home,” replied Haru with a smile, “I made green curry.”

 

“Haru!” said Makoto excitedly, nearly dropping the grocery in the process.

 

“Oi! Careful,” said Rin, coming to help him, “Geez! It’s green curry! Mackerel curry too! No need to get so excited! Now the chocolate brownies I am baking, now those are to die for!”

 

Makoto laughed heartily, “Green curry and chocolate, my favourites! But what’s the occassion though?”

 

“Well today is my last day staying with you,” said Rin, “So… thank you?” offered Rin.

 

“I don’t need a reason to cook curry for Makoto,” replied Haru proudly.

 

Makoto just beamed, “Thank you Haru-chan,” and turning to Rin, “Thank you Rin.”

 

* * *

 

Makoto had to go to the movie set straight after lunch. He said his goodbyes because Rin and Haru would be gone by the time he returned. They were both reluctant to leave. Rin could only imagine the storm he was about to walk into. Mikoshiba aside, no one had been very friendly towards him and now, now he was the guy who literally punched open a drug scandal. He didn’t want to return to the dorm but he was eager to get back to training.

 

Haru had a different problem. He was an only child who had been living on his own since second semester of 1st year of high school. He had never lived in a dorm and in fact, didn’t like being surrounded by people. He also needed alone time just to recharge but in a dorm, would he even be allowed to soak in a bath by himself? Not to mention he would probably have some obnoxious talkative person for a roommate. Haru sighed again. Praying hard that he would be able to get away to Makoto’s apartment a lot. If Makoto wasn’t there he could use the space for his alone time. Otherwise, well, he’ll be with Makoto!

 

“You two will be sharing,” replied the dorm manager when Rin and Haru got to the dorm.

 

“Ha?”

 

“Huh!”

 

“Due to…” the dorm manager paused to consider his words carefully, “Events in the time you were away Matsuoka-kun, we have had to shuffle people around. We have also had some new entrants into the program, just like Nanase-san, and it was decided to put a new person with someone who had been in the program since the start,” the manager explained, “Someone said you two were friends and since almost no one else wanted to share with you,” he pointed to a rather long list of people who seemed to have indicated a desire not to share with Rin, “We decided to put you to together. I hope its okay?” he asked turning to Haruka, “If not, you can swap with Mikoshiba-kun. He said he was okay sharing with Matsuoka-kun. Although the you would be paired with another newcomer.”

 

Rin pulled a face but Haru said quickly, “I am happy sharing with Rin.”

 

They got their room number and carried what luggage they had to their new shared dorm room in silence. Once inside, Haru stated the obvious, “They don’t seem to like you.”

 

“Fuck them,” said Rin, “I don’t need them to like me.”

 

“But you can’t swim a relay with people you don’t like,” said Haru.

 

“One thing I learnt in Australia,” said Rin, “Is that you don’t always have to like the people you share a lane with. If you want to win and the people in the lane can help you, that’s enough. Huh,” Rin added almost to himself, “Maybe that’s my problem. You guys ruined me for forever with your friendship!” he said jokingly, smiling.

 

Haru didn’t reply. He didn’t really know what to think. But then decided he didn’t have to. He would just train and swim and leave all the other stuff to people who understood that kind of thing. He was only there to swim freestyle 100m and 200m long course and it was suggested he should consider 400m short course. He didn’t have a powerful enough kick for 100m or 200m in the short course. He was seriously considering it as it had been sometime since he had swam short course events.

 

“Are you only swimming butterfly?” Haru suddenly asked, realising he didn’t know what Rin was doing anymore.

 

“Concentrating on butterfly but I am keeping up my freestyle,” Rin replied, “But I doubt I’ll be any shape to win a place for the Asian games with my Freestyle. I mean, the trials are on the 1st of August! That’s not a lot of time.”

 

“You think you can get in the team?” asked Haru.

 

“No,” replied Rin honestly, “You and me are both here as ‘long term’ prospects. I mean, you aren’t even on the special diet yet,” Haru pulled a face at the mention of the stupid high calorie diet. He’s been assured he could modify it to include mackerel but it seemed like so much trouble! The things he did for Makoto. “But that’s besides the point. I’ll still do my best.”

 

“Just don’t cry if you lose,” said Haru, not really meaning anything.

 

“You can be such a cruel bastard,” said Rin, a bit hurt. Even though he realised Haru didn’t mean anything and besides, it was a fact that he still had issue coping with hitting walls and let his emotions affect his performances too much. “I am better now.”

 

“You make it sound like you were sick,” replied Haru.

 

“In a way I was,” said Rin, “Thinking back on it, I was lonely. I mean, I only really had one friend and I didn’t stay friends with her all throughout. Besides, as wonderful a person as she was, there were just so many things I couldn’t discuss with her. I missed having male friends or just other friends besides my girlfriend. You know what I mean.”

 

Haru didn’t have a clue what Rin meant and Rin picked-up on that, “Like seriously? You have never been lonely?”

 

“Makoto was always with me,” replied Haru flatly, “I have no memory of a time without Makoto.”

 

“Well what about wanting other friends besides Makoto?” wondered Rin, “Surely there are things you can’t discuss with Makoto. I mean, surely you don’t tell him everything.”

 

Haru thought about it for a long time before saying, “I didn’t tell Makoto about what happened with you but even if I had others with me  back then, like Nagisa or Rei, I wouldn’t have been able to say anything. If I can’t tell Makoto, I can’t tell anyone else,” even as the words left Haru’s lips, he realised that wasn’t entirely true. Afterall, he had told Nagisa and Rei why he hadn’t confessed to Makoto. So there were things he could talk to other people about but not Makoto. Since he didn’t want to lie, Haru added the modifier, “Usually anyway.”

 

Rin either didn’t register the nuance or didn’t think to question it. He just said, “Well I can’t be like that. Maybe I am just too used to having all sorts of different bonds. You know, like with Gou, my friends from Sano elementary and Sano swim club, you guys.”

 

“You didn’t exactly stay in touch with us,” Haru pointed out.

 

“I know,” said Rin, “I just had these romantic notions in my head that I would come back super strong, having proven myself against some of the best in the world and I don’t know, dazzle everybody,” he admitted sheepishly, “You know, something like a samurai who leaves his village to learn the way of the sword. No one knows if he is still alive but then he returns and saves his village with his dazzling skills!” Rin grinned.

 

“Save a village with swimming skill... ” Haru found himself giving the notion some serious thought.

 

Well it couldn’t be done in the conventional way. Certainly not in the same way a samurai could save a village with his sword skills. No matter how good a swimmer, if an entire village as drowning, only one or two people would be able to be saved. Unless you taught everybody to swim… or maybe if a swimmer became really famous they could be a tourist attraction and thus help the village economy. Haru would hate that! Even for an entire village, he didn’t think he could become a swimming show monkey. But then again, isn’t that what the elite swimmers were? Afterall, the spectators did come to be entertained.

 

Rin put an end of his musing with, “Yeah, it was a stupid dream but it was worse when I couldn’t achieve it and became one of those people who leaves their village with dreams of making it big but instead ends-up broken and defeated but with shame preventing their return home,” Rin laughed self mockingly, “Sounds like a plot of a cheesy movie doesn’t it?”

 

“It fits you,” replied Haru, “You were always… romantic,” he said before turning to inspect the bunk bed, “I am taking the bottom bunk.”

 

“I wanted the bottom bunk!” protested Rin.

 

“No,” said Haru firmly.

 

“Fine! But don’t complain if my insomnia disturbs your sleep!” said Rin.

 

“Insomnia?” asked Haru.

 

Rin sighed, “Yes, although it hasn’t been so bad since I started training here,” he explained, “But there are nights that I just can’t stop thinking.”

 

“I’ll take my chances,” said Haru dismissively.

 

“Suit yourself,” replied Rin and so began Haru’s life with the National Swim program.

 

* * *

 

Haru was on a slightly different training schedule to Rin on account to being under a different assistant coach and because he was only training for freestyle while Rin was training for both butterfly and freestyle. More importantly, Haru didn’t have school anymore. Iwatobi High didn’t have a distance education program and Haru couldn’t be bothered transferring to a Tokyo school or just another school with a distance education program.

 

He was going to just drop out, being past the compulsory education age, but Amakata-sensei instead arranged for him to sit a special exam. If Haru passed, he would just be given his High School degree. Of course Haru aced the exams and as he got his degree in the mail, wondered why he hadn’t done this sooner. Then he remembered that while dragging himself out of his house to go to school was a pain, it was tolerable while Makoto was with him. But he was happy to be done with school now.

 

His parents were also happy enough to keep giving him an allowance. Haru also had a small stipend from the National Swim program designed to cover costs of basic swim gear. His dorm and food costs at the dorm were covered by the program budget as long as he didn’t ask for anything special. Haru was happy to pay extra for mackerels. But between the money his parents sent him and stipend he got through the program, Haru’s expenses were more than covered. So he didn’t have to work like some of the other members of the program.

 

What it all meant was that Haru had more free time then he thought he would. He spent most of it at Makoto’s apartment, regardless of whether Makoto was there or not. Haru was actually grateful for the alone time he got at Makoto’s apartment as it helped him recharge. Not to mention he could take long baths without being inconsiderate. It also gave him an opportunity to look after Makoto and Makoto needed looking after.

 

Most days Makoto came home too tired to do anything but curl-up in bed, needing a nap before he could even bring himself to eat. Cooking would have been out of the question. Some nights he just didn’t come home at all! Either Shinji kept him at the studio overnight or the movie had some odd shooting times that made it more practical for Makoto to stay near the set overnight.

 

Makoto also had end of semester exams to study for and unlike Haru, Makoto wasn’t good enough to get his degree without actually doing the remaining two semesters of 3rd year high school. Haru began to seriously worry about Makoto’s health.

 

Finally, near the end of June, close to Haru’s birthday, Makoto was done with the movie job and being summer holidays, no longer had school. Citing his exhaustion, Makoto managed to get a few days off around Haru’s birthday. Although Haru himself couldn’t get any time off but what it did mean was that once Haru was done training, the two of them could actually do stuff together without Makoto nodding off in the middle of a sentence.

 

Plus Makoto would actually be able to spend the weekend of 28th and 29th just lazing about with Haru instead of studying or worse, working through the weekend since both movies sets and recording studios were fully capable of going 24/7.

 

They ended-up renting a TV and game system and gaming for most of the weekend. Although Haru insisted that Makoto go to sleep early. Makoto’s handsome features were marred with tell tale signs of sleep deprivation and exhaustion and Haru most certainly did not approve. So he made Makoto drink lots of water and eat food with a lot of moisture in them. Not to mention lots and lots of mackerels. It seemed to have worked because by the time Haru and Rin met-up with Makoto monday afternoon, he was looking as handsome as ever!

 

“I slept all day,” admitted Makoto sheepishly.

 

“Good,” said Haru simply.

 

“Where are we going?” asked Rin, they were going somewhere to celebrate Haru’s birthday. Rin guessed it would be a seafood place of some sort.

 

Makoto grinned, “Zauo Shinjuku Restaurant!” Haru’s eyes lit-up and started to sparkle.

 

* * *

 

“Haru-chan!” cried Nagisa as he glomped Haru.

 

“Happy Birthday, Haruka-senpai!” said Rei, joining them.

 

“Ri-Rin-senpai, hello and um… happy birthday Nanase-san, sorry for intruding,” said Nitori, also approaching the group.

 

“What are you all doing here?” wondered Haru.

 

“Rei-chan and I wanted to help Haru-chan celebrate his birthday,” said Nagisa, “One of my sister lives here and Rei-chan’s brother also studies in Tokyo. So we thought it would be a good excuse to come visit them and see you!”

 

“I also wanted to check-out some universities,” said Rei, “It’ll take some time to carefully research my future choices so I thought I might as well get started.”

 

“I… I tagged along because I wanted to see Matsuoka-senpai,” said Nitori, “Nagisa-kun’s sister was kind enough to let me stay with her too.”

 

Rin blinked, wondering when those two had gotten that close but before he could say anything, Haru whispered, “Thank you.”

 

“Don’t mention it! We miss Haru-chan already and have been missing Makoto-chan for ages!” said Nagisa, “Mako-chan! Why did you have to leave!” he demanded, turning to glomp Makoto.

 

Makoto laughed good naturedly, “Fame and fortune?” He offered jokingly.

 

Nagisa pouted but then cheered-up, “Well let’s go fishing!” For the Zauo restaurant in Shinjuku was the restaurant where you caught your own fish.

 

You were made to feel as if you were on a boat and were casting a line over the side to catch your dinner. But essentially, there was a giant aquarium running through the restaurant and you cast your line into it and caught a fish to be prepared as you liked it. It was, Haru realised, the closest he and Makoto had gotten to taking one of their fishing trips in a long time. Hopefully, they would find time to go fishing before long.

 

There weren’t any mackerels in the tank but Haru was still satisfied with the fish he caught. He also caught one for Nitori who was utterly hopeless at catching fish. Makoto and Rin both managed to reel in a big one. While Nagisa, despite being loud and fidgety, somehow managed to not scare all the fish away. Rei had of course memorised all the theory and fortunately, also had practical experience from having gone fishing from time to time with his family.

 

“Nanase-san is amazing,” said Nitori, once the fish Haru had caught for him was brought back in sashimi form, “Thank you for catching the fish for me.”

 

“It wasn’t much of a challenge,” replied Haruka, “These fish are meant to be caught.”

 

“They do seem stupid,” agreed Rin.

 

The talk soon turned to various different things. Nagisa enthusiastically relayed school gossip, random news out of Iwatobi to both Haru and Makoto, while Rin and Rei ended-up in a deep discussion about swimming theories, or to be more accurate, the technical aspect of swimming strokes and muscle development. Nitori was happy to listen and contribute what he could to either discussion.

 

The conversation ebbed and flowed. Nagisa got-up to go to the restroom and in the ensuring void of energy, Nitori quietly asked Makoto, “Um… Tachibana-san um… this might be a strange question but umm… what would you do on a… um… date?”

 

Rin full on chocked on the piece of fish he was eating as Makoto gave a startled, “Eh?”

 

“Rin-senpai! Please don’t die!” cried Nitori as he started to rub Rin’s back to help him get the fish piece out.

 

“Here, have some water,” said Haru because of course the water would solve everything.

 

“Rin-chan is choking!” declared Nagisa excitedly as he got back to the desk.

 

“Don’t be happy about it!” cried Rei.

 

When Rin finally stopped choking he demanded, “What brought on that question?”

 

“Well… well… do you remember last year I asked if you were a girl and you had to date either me or Captain Mikoshiba, who would you pick?” asked Nitori.

 

“Yes…”

 

“And you said neither,” reminded Nitori.

 

Rin felt bad remember how he imagined a date with Nitori would go, “I didn’t know either of you that well back then and um… might have um… perceive a date would be…” he took a deep breath, “Annoying and awkward.”

 

“Exactly!” agreed Nitori.

 

“Don’t just agree with me!” chastised Rin.

 

But Nitori pressed on, “But you would definitely go on a date with Tachibana-san! So I was wondering what Tachibana-san would do on a date that would be cool and amazing and would totally win over senpai’s heart!”

 

“Hey! Don’t just go putting Mako-chan with Rin-chan you damn MakoRin shipper!” said Nagisa, getting serious, “Haru-chan called dibs!”

 

“When?” demanded Nitori.

 

“The moment Mako-chan was born!” declared Nagisa, “And last year! When I asked Haru-chan who he would date from the swim club, Haru-chan picked Mako-chan! I had to bribe him with mackerels to pick me and I am sure Haru-chan only did that because he was mad at Mako-chan for being wishy-washy and saying he couldn’t choose between us when he should have just said ‘Haru of course!’” said Nagisa sagely.

 

Nitori pouted, “Well I think Tachibana-san would be better off with senpai! Senpai might be a bit rude and kind of acts like a delinquent, but he’s studious and cool-looking and also a nice guy! He’s completely perfect!” Nitori declared as Rin turned beet-red.

 

Haru was torn between finding this amusing, wondering if he should be worried about Nitori being so adamant that Rin get together with Makoto and just enjoying Makoto’s perfect WTF-is-happening face. Rei had a look of resigned acceptance that came from associating with Nagisa.

 

“Well why don’t you date Rin-chan,” said Nagisa annoyed, “Besides! Haru-chan might act cold and distant but he’s brave, caring, pure person and the best friend a person can ever have! Mako-chan deserves the best and Haru-chan is the best!”

 

“Do… do you have a crush on Nanase-san?” demanded Nitori, mortified.

 

“Of course I love Haru-chan! He put on a girl’s swimsuit for me! I bet Ai-chan would never put on a girl’s swimsuit for me! Even for sex!” said Nagisa.

 

“Nagisa-kun we are in a public place!” Rei pointed out in vain.

 

“Wait a horrific minute!” Rin interjected, “What do you mean Haru put on a girl’s swimsuit and why do you want Nitori to put on a girl’s swim… fuck no! Tell me you two are not dating!”

 

“But that would be a lie and you shouldn’t lie, Rin-chan!” said Nagisa, perfectly innocently. Nitori just made himself very small as he turned red as a tomato. Rin just gaped opened mouthed.

 

Silence, awkward silence ensured. It was finally broken with Makoto laughing a little, “Well congratulations Nitori, Nagisa,” he said good naturedly, “From what I understand, Rin, on Nagisa’s first day at Iwatobi Swim Club, his sisters played a plank on him and slipped in one of their swimsuits in his bag. He was very upset and so to cheer him up, Haru swapped suits with him. It was all perfectly innocent,” he assured as Haru nodded.

 

“Unless you are a pervert,” Nagisa added, totally unhelpfully, “Are you a pervert Rin-chan? Mako-chan is totally not allowed to date perverts you know. He’s too precious!”

 

“Fuck you to hell, Nagisa!” said Rin.

 

“No thank you!” said Nagisa, “I am taken!” he said as he laced his hands with Nitori’s, who looked both happy and embarrassed. Rin wondered when the sweet innocent Nagisa was corrupted into whatever this version was.

 

“Now, now,” said Makoto, trying to keep peace, “As for your earlier question, Nitori,” said Makoto, “Well let’s see… I guess it would depend on whether its a first date or not, and also on how much I knew the person before hand,” he explained, “Unless we planned something specific, I would most definitely meet them in a place where there were lots of options. Like Shinagawa, for example. That way we could catch a movie or grab something to eat or just walk around looking at the shops and stuff. I would definitely try and get there a little early so as to not keep them waiting but I wouldn’t want to be too early. Especially for a first date because waiting for a long time when you are nervous is the worst! So probably 10 to 15 minute early would be good. Then when they came, I would ask them if they wanted to do something specific. If not, we would decide together.”

 

“But I would definitely have some suggestions ready and if I knew the person, like I know Rin and Haru, I would have suggestions based on what I know about them,” Makoto continued, “For Haru I would suggest we go to the Shinagawa aquarium because I know he would really like that. I would also look-up nearby places that served mackerel so we could go for a meal, maybe after the aquarium,” he said, “For Rin I would maybe look-up what movies were playing nearby in English. You know,  movies that I knew he would like. Like summer blockbusters or cute romance flicks…”

 

“Oi! Don’t tell them that!” Rin interjected, horrified that his deep dark secret of liking so called ‘chick flick romances’ was being exposed.

 

“Sorry,” Makoto apologised with a smile, “But anyway, that’s what I would do.”

 

“That’s… that’s perfect!” said Nitori, “Thank you Tachibana-san, I picked-up some good tips!”

 

“That’s our Mako-chan!” said Nagisa, “But don’t worry Ai-chan, as long as you take me to places where I can have sweet stuff, especially strawberry shortcakes, I’ll be totally happy and making you happy!”

 

“Nagisa-kun!!!!!” cried Rei as Nitori looked like he was about to have a heart attack.

 

“Which brings me to my question, how did this horrific and evil pairing happen?” demanded Rin

 

“Well it all started when Rei-chan got the hots for a girl in our grade. She’s really good in her studies and does gymnastics. Rei-chan says she has beautiful form but I just think he likes her knockout knockers!”

 

“Nagisa-kun that’s my girlfriend you are talking about!” an exasperated Rei tried to chastise the indomitable Nagisa.

 

“It’s okay Rei-chan, I am gay!”

 

“How does you being gay excuse you describing my girlfriends breasts in such lewd terms?” wondered Rei.

 

“I am only admiringly them aesthetically!” replied Nagisa cheerfully.

 

“I don’t see how that works.”

 

“Details, details,” dismissed Nagisa and pressed on with the story, “Rei-chan really had the hots for her and so Gou-chan and I decided we would setup a mixer so Rei-chan could get to know her. But a mixer needs three couples minimum. Gou-chan got her friend Chigusa-chan to be the 3rd girl but we were short a boy. Then I ran into Ai-chan while out shopping for a new swimsuit and asked him to be the 3rd boy. He agreed!”

 

“I actually said no but Nagisa-kun wouldn’t listen,” admitted Nitori, “In the end I ended-up coming because I knew Nagisa-kun would be counting on me.”

 

Nagisa smiled sweetly, “It was all going really well!” Nagisa started but was interrupted.

 

“It was a disaster,” corrected Rei, “We were just introducing ourselves when Nagisa-kun felt the need to include ‘number one MakoHaru shipper at makochanfanclub’ along with 2nd year high school student and swim club member. The girls, apart from Gou, were confused but Nitori-kun jumped on that and asked if he was BigCutePenguin and a real life shipwar started right in the middle of the family restaurant,” he said with a sigh.

 

“Unsurprisingly, Hanamura-san declared she was bored after ten minutes and declared the mixer a failure. She walked out and Gou-san followed to try and placate her. Megumi, that’s my girlfriend - Minori Megumi, was in the middle of taking her leave when… I guess she noticed how wrapped-up Nagisa-kun and Nitori-kun where getting with each other. So she stuck around to keep me company,” Rei smiled fondly.

 

“And the rest as they say,” interjected Nagisa, “Was history!”

 

“How?” demanded Rin, “I mean, I can see why Rei is dating this girl but how did you two go from discussing who would be better for Makoto, me or Haru, to dating.”

 

“Well we went back to Ai-chan’s dorm room to review fanfics and fanart as a way to determine which ship was better and well, one thing lead to another and we ended-up doing it. Repeatedly.”

 

Rin, Haru and Makoto were collectively stunned and horrified when they realised that Nagisa and Nitori had gotten off on fan made porn, starring them. “That’s um… disturbing,” said Makoto truthfully.

 

“Oh no, it wasn’t like we got turned on looking at hentai doujins made by Mako-chan fans,” said Nagisa.

 

“Wait, my fans made hentai doujins of me?” asked Makoto, getting a little more disturbed.

 

“They aren’t much to look at,” replied Haru of all people, “They always get your proportions wrong.”

 

“Wait, you have been looking at Makoto hentai?” demanded Rin.

 

“I was curious,” said Haru honestly.

 

“Let’s not talk about this any more,” suggested a thoroughly embarrassed Makoto.

 

“Don’t worry Makoto,” said Haru reassuringly, “They got your body totally wrong.”

 

“I don’t think that’s the issue here!” said the exasperated Makoto.

 

“As I was saying,” interjected Nagisa, “We ran across a fanfic that described a sexual position that Ai-chan thought couldn’t be pleasurable but I thought it seemed interesting but it was complicated and so we couldn’t just do it first up and so we start…”

 

“Enough!” Rin stopped him, “I have heard enough! Any more and my childhood memories of you will be tainted forever! Give me back my cute innocent Nagisa!”

 

“To think you didn’t even know men kept porn under their bed before too long,” said Rei wistfully.

 

“Why would you keep porn under your bed?” wondered Nagisa.

 

“I keep them in my bed as suggested by Rin-senpai,” said Nitori beaming.

 

Makoto gave-up and turning to Haru said, “Let’s go somewhere else for dessert,” hoping against hope the change of venue would stop this R-18 thread of discussion. Haru simply nodded.

 

* * *

 

Because Nagisa and Nitori couldn’t decide what they wanted, the other four boys found themselves sitting and eating while those two were still choosing. Makoto took this opportunity to ask Rei a bit more about his girlfriend.

 

“She really is a wonderful person,” Rei was saying, “Beautiful, studious and is very theoretical in her approach to gymnastic. But at the same time she displays the kind of grace and elegance for which there is no theory. It comes right from the soul, the essence of art you might call it. I really admire her.”

 

Makoto smiled, “I am glad, I would like to meet her.”

 

“I am sure you’ll get along really well with her, Makoto-senpai,” said Rei, “I mean, I had a crush on her but what pretty much sealed it to like if not love is her kindness. I mean, any other girl would have left when the mixer went so horribly wrong but she stayed. She later told me that she realised that if she left, I would be really lonely,” Rei explained.

 

“She knew Nagisa-kun and I were friend. She figured I couldn’t just leave Nagisa-kun but Nagisa-kun was getting totally wrapped-up in his silly shipwar with Nitori-kun. Nagisa-kun was ignoring and neglecting me without meaning to,” Rei elaborated.

 

Rin and Haru stopped in the midst of eating their dessert as Rei’s words triggered an epiphany in them both. Was that what they had been doing to Makoto? Had Makoto been feeling ignored and neglected as they got caught-up competing with each other? Rin felt like someone had punched him in the gut, while Haru just sat frozen at the thought that he might have hurt Makoto - no matter how unintentionally. Makoto seemed to pick-up on Haru’s distress and shot him a concerned look but the time and place prevented him from asking Haru what was bothering him.

 

“So she stuck around so that I wouldn’t be lonely,” Rei was continuing, “I have never had a lot of friends and I can’t say that I am not used to being neglected or forgotten by my friends. Although it was never done with malicious intent. There was just someone more interesting in the room. So the fact she picked-up on that and stuck around because of that meant a lot. But once we got talking we had a lot in common and just enough difference to make things interesting and well,” Rei grinned.

 

“Congratulations,” Makoto said heartily, “She sounds like a really wonderful person.”

 

“Thank you,” replied Rei, “And she is.” Nitori and Nagisa joined them having finally made their choice and the conversation topic changed to different forms of desserts. But neither Rin, nor Haru talked much for the remainder of the evening.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a few things about this chapters,
> 
> 1\. Green curry and chocolate are Makoto’s favourite food according to the recently released official guide book (or whatever those books are called) for Free!
> 
> 2\. I gave Rin a mild case of insomnia because we saw a couple of scenes of him being awake late at night thinking too much. Of course he obviously had a lot on his mind and so calling it insomnia is stretching it a bit. But I wanted to give a reason for why Rin preferred the bottom bunk (Nitori gives him a choice in Drama CD 2 and Rin picked bottom) and a mild case of insomnia seemed a good enough reason.
> 
> 3\. I have read a few fics where Haru is supposedly a bad student and some people have taken “Haru’s worst subject is english” (from one of the official profiles) as Haru’s really bad in english. But I found nothing in canon that says Haru is bad at studies. In fact, in High Speed its implied he’s just good at everything. We get indirect evidence in that anime that both Makoto and Haru are probably good at academics. This is because they keep getting away with a lot of stuff. Sure they get scolded but that’s all that seems to happen. No detention or anything. If they were bad or even average students, I doubt the school would be as lenient with them or so I think.
> 
> As for the english thing, well Rin is supposed to be top 10 in all his subjects but even he has “worst subjects”. It’s a relative thing. So Haru could be top in all his other subjects but maybe just in top 10 in english, i.e. its his worst subject relative to his other subjects but that doesn’t mean he’s actually bad in the subject. So for this fic, I just decided that Harus’ a genius who can take a test to demonstrate he doesn’t need to stick around for two more semester and should just be given his degree now.
> 
> 4\. I got a little confused with the summer holidays because according to the drama CDs, Haru spent his birthday (June 30th) at camp and it was in fact the last day of their training camp. They had their training camp during summer holidays so summer holidays in the Free! verse must start mid June at least. But wikipedia said Japan summer holidays usually start late July o.O I think we need to chalk this up to KyoAni taking artistic license and giving the boys a different time frame for their summer holiday and so I decided to take KyoAni’s summer holiday time frame and make it so that Makoto was free for Haru’s birthday.
> 
> 5\. I honestly don’t know if they have TV and game renting services in Japan. I don’t even know if they still have them… well anywhere but let’s just say they do!
> 
> 6\. My sincere apology to any Rei x Nagisa fans reading this fic. I was just going to leave them alone and let people assume they were together if they were Reigisa fans or not if, like me, they just don’t see Rei and Nagisa as anything but friends. But then I saw the FrFr! shorts from the latest DVD volume (watch?v=ezN1LuoqbRo @ YouTube if you haven’t seen it) and I had this weird thought about Nagisa and Nitori getting together and well the crack NagiTori scene above resulted. But Nagisa calling Nitori Ai-chan, its from Drama CD #2.


	24. Chapter 24

Rei was going to stick around for about a week as he needed the time to visit universities and also because he actually got along with his brother and wanted to spend more time with him. Nagisa on the other hand, still did not fully get along with his sisters and could only take them in small doses. So tomorrow, straight after Nagisa and Rei shot a sequence for Makoto’s PV, Nagisa and Nitori were heading back to Iwatobi. Unfortunately, Makoto couldn’t be around to watch the shoot.

 

“So its goodbye for now!” lamented Nagisa as the boys stood at the train station, ready to go their separate ways, “I don’t want to say goodbye! Mako-chan, Haru-chan, move back to Iwatobi!”

 

Makoto laughed placatingly, “We just left a few months early Nagisa,” he reasoned, “I mean, we both could have gotten into universities outside of Iwatobi after graduating. Not to mention you could have gone to a far away university.”

 

“I am not going to go to university!” Nagisa declared, “I am going to get into show business! Just like Mako-chan! Tomorrow will be my mini debut! I am going to do my best for Mako-chan and myself!”

 

“That’s great!” replied Makoto encouragingly, “I am sure you’ll be great! Better than me at any rate,” he added self deprecatingly.

 

“Don’t say that Mako-chan!” protested Nagisa, “I’ll be counting on you to help me! I mean, you’ll be my senpai, I mean you are already my senpai but you’ll be my double senpai! Wait, you are already my double senpai… triple senpai and it’ll be your senpai duty to help your kohai!” Nagisa declared, going on to add, “Times three! On account of you being my triple senpai in school, swimming and show biz!”

 

“Senpai...” whispered Nitori worriedly, looking from Nagisa to Makoto and back again, as if just now realising that Makoto was Nagisa’s senpai and not, as Nagisa tended to behave towards him, a much beloved older brother.

 

At this point Rin remembered that Nitori was really into Senpai-kohai BL manga and might well be worried about his boyfriend dumping him for ‘Makoto senpai’. Who, Rin would readily admit, would be an absolute awful person to compete against for anyone’s affection.

 

“Nagisa,” Rin said, in a tone that immediately drew everybody’s attention towards him, “Before you even think of making Nitori cry,” he warned with a dark look on his face, “Remember a school of sharks has his back!”

 

“Rin-senpai…” whispered Nitori, tearing-up.

 

Nagisa of course took Rin’s warning in stride, “Rin-chan that was cool! But don’t worry, I am not going to make Ai-chan cry! Well…” Nagisa added with a mischievous grin, “Unless he wants to cry! Some people have kinks like that you know.”

 

“Nagisa-kun!” Rei futilely chastised.

 

“I have no such kink!” cried Nitori.

 

“Hmpf, school of sharks indeed,” started Haru, his face and voice as stoic as ever, “Dolphins can easily kill sharks and killer whales eat sharks for breakfast,” he turned to Nitori and fixed him with a dark look, “Might want to remember that, Nitori,” the way Haru said ‘Nitori’ actually made everybody shudder, especially since Haru just didn’t say people’s names a lot.

 

“Yes,” said Nitori, stiffening-up, “I’ll take good care of Nagisa-kun!”

 

“Haru-chan went yandere for me!” cried Nagisa as he glomped Haru, “I love you, Haru-chan!”

 

“Nagisa! Get off me!” protested Haru but Nagisa just squeezed harder, “Are you listening? Nagisa!” Nagisa finally let go and turned to Makoto.

 

“Now it’s Mako-chan’s turn!” declared Nagisa, “Go yandere for me!”

 

“Ah…” Makoto was flustered but then again, that was Nagisa’s speciality, “I hope both of you take care of each other,” he offered.

 

“Yes!” said Nitori, smiling brightly.

 

But Nagisa pouted, “Mako-chan is no fun! But,” he turned to Haru, “Good luck with him Haru-chan!” Haru blushed bright red and looked away.

 

“Eh?” came Makoto’s startled response.

 

“No,” said Nitori firmly, “Go get him Rin-senpai! I’ll be cheering for you!” Rin flushed.

 

“I think both of you are taking your fandom shipping a little too seriously,” commented Makoto, amused.

 

Rin and Haru both rolled their eyes as Rei commented, “You worry me sometimes, Makoto-senpai,” seriously wondering how anyone, anywhere could be this oblivious.

 

“Eh!”

 

Haru smiled one of his rare but radiant smiles, “Don’t worry about it,” he said, confident in his belief that Makoto will figure it out, in time and when he was ready. The boys said their goodbyes and headed for their respective trains.

 

It was in the train that Rin finally gave voice to his epiphany, “We were the ones that ditched Makoto that day during the run,” he stated. Haru didn’t reply, so Rin continued, “Maybe not just that day. Maybe other days too… so is it that we can’t hangout? The three of us together that is.”

 

Haru let out a deep breath, “Makoto doesn’t have a lot of time,” Haru pointed out, “Neither do we, for that matter. So if the three of us can’t hang out together, then you and Makoto would never meet,” Rin flinched at that, “You and I too wouldn’t do much outside the locker room,” it was true, Haru hardly spent any waking moment in their shared dorm. Most of the time Rin had the room to himself, it wasn’t necessarily a good thing.

 

“Are you okay with that?” asked Haru sincerely.

 

“Of course not!” barked Rin, “You might not know what it’s like to be lonely but I do! I DON’T want to be…” Rin stopped talking but his thoughts went on, “that person that bangs random bodies just to feel momentary warmth, not caring who the person inhabiting the body is. I don’t want to be locked inside my own head with my memories and not have anyone to share it with. I don’t want to be plagued by cryptic dreams that end in a dark tunnel that I can’t see the light at the end of. I don’t want to be without Makoto’s smile or your rivalry and friendship.”

 

The thoughts ran through Rin’s head but he didn’t, couldn’t bring himself to share any of it with Haru. So he simply let the sentence hang and lapsed into silence. Haru didn’t say anything either. Maybe he just didn’t know what words to say. For a long while the only sound in the carriage was the rattling of the train.

 

Finally Haru broke the silence with, “Doesn’t matter I guess,” he said, “Makoto’s booked solid for the rest of the month. He’s not going to have the energy to hangout.”

 

“But you’ll be going to his apartment anyway, right,” it came out more snippy and irritated then Rin intended. Certainly it earned a curious look from Haru as he tried to fathom why Rin was being snippy and irritated.

 

“Makoto doesn’t need energy for me,” replied Haru, “Because…” he paused trying hard to find the right words, “It’s not like today,” Haru said, hoping an example would convey what he meant, “We can spend hours in silence and its comfortable,” Haru explained, “I don’t mind if all Makoto can manage is to curl-up next to me and go to sleep. Because he’ll be next to me and that’s good enough. Makoto doesn’t have to… entertain me.”

 

“Fuck,” said Rin, “You two really are like an old married couple!”

 

“Fourteen years,” replied Haru, deadpan.

 

“How the hell am I supposed to compete with that,” Rin found himself thinking. A small defeatist voice inside his head replied, “You can’t. Give it up,” but another voice said, “Even marriages of fourteen years can end. So don’t give-up.”

 

Rin bit his lips hard to stop himself from laughing out loud as the realisation hit him that, “If this was a cheesy soap, I would be the fucking homewrecker villain character! Well, no, I haven’t wrecked anything yet but damn Haru, I really do want to wreck your pseudo marriage with Makoto,” straight on the heels of that thought came the guilt and self loathing for being an awful friend to Haru but at least it killed Rin’s desire to laugh.

 

“We need to concentrate on swimming anyway,” Rin commented, once he was a bit calmer, “Only 32 days to the Asian game trials.”

 

* * *

 

The next day, the 1st of July, there was a must attend meeting for all swim program participants. “30 days, excluding today,” the head coach started, “Is how long you have before the trials for the Asian games. Many of you have been training for this since the world championships ended last year,” he nodded towards the veterans, “But I am sure you young guns do not want to be outdone by your senpais,” he nodded towards a group of newcomers near the front of the meeting room. Both Rin and Haru were at the back, “Do your best,” he encouraged the newcomers, “But remember that you are here for the long haul and so don’t get discouraged.”

 

The head coaches face darkened a bit as he approached the topic of the drug scandal, “Of course we as a team have faced some difficult times and as a result, some of your teammates are no longer here,” Rin could feel veiled glares directed at him because of course it was his fault for being, as he was now known throughout the team, a violent thin-skinned delinquent who just had to punch Kuza and open a can of drugged worms, “But it is best it all came out now and not after a tournament. We should be glad that so far, we have been able to get out of this without much loss of face.”

 

“However,” the head coach continued, “We need positive publicity and to that end, we have entered into some exciting collaboration. I will not get into too much detail now, because the Asian game trials are the priority. But shortly after the trials, we will be selecting four newcomers to our program, one from each stroke, to take part in a special show. This will be a good opportunity to get some exposure in addition to the trials and lead to valuable sponsorship deals. So young ones,” he said addressing the nearest group of newcomers again, “Do your best to keep your senpais on their toes. Who knows, you might win a place in the Asian games against the odds. In the very least, if you impress us, you’ll get to swim in a stadium full of screaming girls and who wouldn’t love that!”

 

“Well gay guys,” thought Rin absently, “But I suppose Makoto probably has alot male fans as well, both gay and straight. Straight guys would want him as their bro, the one who never lets them down and gay guys… well, he’s hot!” Rin sighed, thinking of Makoto was not helping.

 

He started to only give the head coach half his attention as he wonder how much longer the meeting was going to go for. Next to him Haru seemed to also be thinking that because he was looking longingly towards the door. Even Rin could guess that Haru desperately wanting to just go and start swimming.

 

“Finally, I would like the following swimmers to come see me after the meeting,” said the head coach, as way of wrapping-up, “Matsuoka Rin,” Rin started to hear his name as the head of the list, which was only five names long.

 

Rin glanced at the other four swimmers who had been called. Couple seemed worried but none seemed surprised. Did Rin miss something? Was he supposed to know why he was being called? Rin was essentially an outcast within the swim program. He had no friends apart from Haru and Mikoshiba. Rin was not welcomed in the dorm’s recreation room and the one time Rin tried to use the dorm’s gym, a lot of people kept “accidentally” dropping weights near Rin’s foot. Indeed, the naked hostility Rin faced in the dorm meant that he was essentially a prisoner in his room while at the dorm.

 

Mikoshiba, kind, confident, still hoping to bang Gou, Mikoshiba at least provided Rin company during meals. Always ensuring Rin had a place among the Samezuka affiliated swimmers. Although no one else spoke to him but Mikoshiba and even he was too busy with others to really exchange too many words with Rin. Haru was no help in that regard as he prefered to eat alone and in complete silence.

 

What it all effectively meant was that Rin was out of the loop. He didn’t hear rec room gossip. His presence usually put a dampener at the meal table, even if he was tolerated, and so he usually ate as fast as possible and left. Because Rin was socially toxic, he didn’t associate with Mikoshiba too much. Haru was a different matter since Haru couldn’t care less about the social aspect of the team, preciously because the team was so big at the moment. It was like being friends with the entire swim club. Now if Haru was included in a relay team or something, Rin could see Haru going out of his way to try and befriend his teammates.

 

So Rin had no clue why the head coach wanted to see him. Fortunately the head coach didn’t keep him guessing for too long. As soon as Rin entered the head coaches office, the coach said, “We are stopping your freestyle training for the foreseeable future.”

 

Rin started and opened his mouth to protest but the coach held up his hand to gesture for silence and continued, “It’s not worth it, Matsuoka,” the coach said in a tone that left no doubt that the decision was final, “We have plenty of freestyle swimmers who are leagues better then you. On the other hand, we don’t have as many butterfly swimmers. So it is better for everybody if you just concentrate on the butterfly,” and just like that the conversation was over and the coach gestured towards the door, “The butterfly assistant coach will give you your new regime. It’ll be in place until the trials.”

 

“What about after the trials?” Rin couldn’t help but ask.

 

“That depends on your performance at the trials,” replied the coach bluntly.

 

Rin got the message, he didn’t have a future after the trials unless he did well in the trials. If Rin found himself in that endless dark tunnel in the next month… he didn’t want to think about it. He just didn’t.

 

“Rin?” Haru as waiting for him outside the coach’s office.

 

Rin blinked, a little surprised but then he wondered why given that all said and done, Haru was a kind, caring person. He just liked to pretend he wasn’t, “Ah, it seems I won’t be swimming free for a bit,” said Rin, forcing himself to grin, “The coach wants me to concentrate on butterfly until the trials. But hey, if I do really well and you do really well, maybe we’ll both be picked for the relay team,” Rin joked.

 

However, Haru seemed to take it seriously, “I’ll do my best and so should you. Then we can truly swim for the team.”

 

That actually succeeded in cheering Rin up and lighting a slow burning flame in the pit of his stomach, “Yeah, let’s do it!” he replied, grinning for real.

 

* * *

 

It was the Friday the 11th of July and Makoto hadn’t slept in 3 days. He also hadn’t been home and now he had to swim. At least it was just with the penguins this time. Penguins in a freezing cold tank but as far as Makoto knew, he was in no danger of being eaten.

 

The commercial Makoto had shot for “Aqua Seduction” had hit the internet at the beginning of July and would start to play on TV soon. In addition, the first of the print ads, also featuring Mako-merman, for the campaign were included in recently released high end fashion magazines. The buzz was ridiculous. The video had gone viral and for the life of him, Makoto couldn’t figure out why. But then again, viral videos not featuring cats, or some other cuddly animal, always confused him.

 

Cats were cute and adorable and they did cute and adorable things. They had the power to brighten people’s day and really relax them. Makoto himself missed the cutie he used to play with in Iwatobi a lot. What he wouldn’t give to have that fluffy white cat with him now. He could use a stress reliever. But even without a single cat in sight, his perfume commercial had gone viral and so the perfume company had greenlighted a second round of ads. This time for a variation called “Aqua Seduction Cool Blue”, thus the arctic setting.

 

Shiori tried to deferred the filming since Makoto was in the middle of recording the PV for Rage On and they still needed three more tracks for debut album. Four if “Water Surprise” got dropped again. “Water Surprise” was the duet Makoto and Haru had written and sang together in Middle school for a talent contest. That was how they had won the gaming system they loved to play on. For the album, with Haru’s permission, Makoto and Shinji modified it so that only Makoto sang it. It still sounded nice but no one was sure whether to include it or not.

 

However, the music company execs wanted about ten songs on the debut album. Certainly no more but they also didn’t want anything less than nine. Makoto had recorded 25 songs but a bunch of them, all written by Shinji, got rejected for being too dark. A couple of songs that Makoto wrote got rejected for being not punchy enough. Five songs were currently being considered, the bunch included the only angsty song Makoto had managed to write himself. It was yet untitled.

Still, six songs were firmly in place and so they were progressing. The songs that will most definitely be included with the album were Rage ON, Shiokaze no friendship, Mirai e no Sutorōku, Ever Blue, Walk and Towayuki. With Water Surprise “in” for now. Shinji had written Rage ON, Walk and Towayuki - a surprisingly peaceful song but supposedly it was an old one that Shinji had written ages ago. Before his life went to hell.

Makoto’s thought were interrupted by Shiroi, “Are you sure you are up for this?” she asked. Makoto was already in his tail, which had been heavily repaired and dyed a cool blue, since the last shoot. “We could just tell them now.”

 

That was the thing if not today, due to various reasons, the open penguin pool in Sumida Aquarium would not be available for shooting until late January and the perfume company wanted to release another video as soon as possible. So they could strike the iron while it was hot or something like that. So it was either today or not at all and Makoto couldn’t really afford not at all. But that meant that Makoto had to do this while he was so exhausted that his whole body ached. Still, supposedly it was something he had to get used to and why a lot of his peers turned to chemical assistance. Makoto just wanted five minutes with a basket of kittens.

 

At least Shiori had brought the next best thing to kittens: chocolates. Lots and lots of chocolates. Makoto gratefully took them and started eating. Managing to say in between mouthfuls, “It’s okay, the water is kind of supportive. Plus since Shiori-san is kindly giving me a lift home, I’ll be home in no time after the shoot and can just sleep until its time to shoot the PV tomorrow.”

 

Shiori nodded, “I am glad we were able to get clearance for Nanase-san and Matsuoka-san,” she said, they had to get permission from the National Swim Team PR department before Rin and Haru could take part in Makoto’s PV. They weren’t even going to name, names or even mention that Rin and Haru were currently part of the National Swim team’s training program for young hopefuls. But the PR department still caused a fuss, which is why the PV hadn’t wrapped-up yet.

 

“Me too,” said Makoto, finishing his chocolate, “I really wanted them to be a part of it.”

 

Their conversation was interrupted when an assistant came to tell Makoto they were ready for him and literally wheeled Makoto, who was sitting on a trolley, to the pool edge. “Remember, you just have to frolic with the penguins for a bit!”

 

Makoto grinned, “I’ll do my best to not scare them away,” he said as he slipped into the water. For once Makoto as as glad to be in the water as Haru would have been. The water just seemed more supportive to his weary body then the land had been and so he was grateful to be able to glide underwater, despite the low temperatures.

 

Thankfully the penguins seemed to like him and came up to him and all but cuddled into him. “Nagisa is going to be jealous,” thought Makoto, remembered how much Nagisa liked penguins and how excited he was when Haru had declared Nagisa swam like a penguin.

 

They shoot for about thirty minutes, with a small five minute break in between. But by the time they were done, Makoto couldn’t get himself out of the pool with his own powers. The feel of his arms giving away and him slipping back in the water reminded him of Rin during his 100m race in the regionals. He hadn’t seen Rin since Haru’s birthday. Haru himself he saw the weekend before but he was too exhausted to do anything with. In the end, they had just ended-up going to a park and feeding ducks.

 

Haru didn’t speak much about training and Makoto didn’t have the energy to do anything but accept at face value Haru’s “its going well” comment. He hoped they were both alright. Both Haru and Rin because both could only swim at their best when they were at their best emotionally. Makoto never again want to see either of them sink because invisible emotional chains held them back. They both deserved to swim best because they were free and for whatever team they were part of. You couldn’t get better than team Japan, right? The thought cheered Makoto-up and found himself smiling, even as he all but collapsed by the pool side.

 

* * *

 

In the end, Shiori had ordered couple of the wardrobe assistants to take Makoto’s tail off. A pair of blushing girls eagerly got to work as Makoto did what he could help them out. He didn’t manage more than one thank you as well as an apology. The girls didn’t need the apology. They enjoyed undressing Makoto down to his speedos.

 

Free of the tail, Makoto go hauled to his feet by someone. Everything was sort of a blur as he moved like an old man to the area assigned for changing. Putting his clothes on without even bothering to take his speedos off, Makoto headed to where he was suppose to meet Shiori, “Don’t collapse until you get to the car,” she warned, “I don’t think I could carry you.”

 

Makoto managed a tired grin but opted to save his energy and didn’t say anything. “Climb into the back and take a nap,” suggested Shiori, “It’ll still be thirty minutes, maybe longer if the traffic is bad. So just relax for a bit.”

 

“Thanks Shiori-san,” Makoto managed before climbing on to the back seat. He barely managed to buckle-up before his eyes just refused to stay open.

 

* * *

 

“I’ll pick him up,” Rin? “I am bigger!”

 

“I have carried him before, so I can do it.” Haru…

 

“Huh? When did you carry him?”

 

“Training camp.”

 

“Why were you carrying him… never mind! Look, you didn’t have to carry him up stairs. So just let me!”

 

“No one touches my Mako-chan but me!” came a mocking voice. Shiori-san???

 

Haru made an annoyed noise, but it was Rin who replied, “You are not helping.”

 

“Yes well, you two need to remember that Makoto’s not allowed to date. So how about you not fight over him like two rivals in a romantic comedy or a harem anime.”

 

“I don’t think there are enough of us for a harem anime,” Makoto couldn’t help but smile at Haru’s deadpan reply. He loved Haru’s dry sense of humour.

 

“Chi, whatever, I’m carrying Makoto!”

 

“It’s fine,” mumbled Makoto opening his eyes and immediately closing them as even the light in the badly lit parking area of his apartment proved too much for him, “I am awake,” he still managed. Both Haru and Rin scrambled to hide their disappointment.

 

Shiori’s phone made a noise, she pulled it out and checked it as Makoto stumbled out. Haru was immediately at his side and put an arm around his torso to support him, “Good news,” Shiori said, while mock glaring at Haru as Rin really glared at Haru, “They have decided to go with nine tracks and so the final two tracks of your album will be Shinji’s Catal Rhythm and you're untitled angst fest.”

 

“That’s great!” said Makoto smiling as he leaned on Haru. Thankful that he could always depend on Haru to take care of him.

 

“Well no, because that means you have to work sunday to record those two songs properly. So no break this weekend either,” replied Shiori.

 

“That’s ridiculous,” Rin protested, “Makoto can barely stand!”

 

“Life of an entertainer,” replied Shiori dismissively, “They have period of intense work and then usually, unless they are committed to working themselves to death, they can have a little break before their next project.”

 

“But Makoto’s a fucking model too!” pointed out Rin, “Don’t they work all the time?”

 

“If they are lucky,” agreed Shiori, “Same goes with TV stars with regular programs or stage artists with shows and stuff. But Makoto should get a break after the last songs are done,” she turned towards Makoto to say something but that’s when she noticed that Makoto had slumped against Haru and fallen asleep. She sighed, “I’ll see you three tomorrow.”

 

* * *

 

Makoto woke back-up as Haru tried to maneuver him so he could be carried more easily. He stumbled up the steps and barely managed to get his shoes off before collapsing on his futon and going to sleep.

 

“So that’s why you laid the futon out already,” commented Rin as he unhappily looked towards the table laden with uneaten food.

 

Haru nodded, “I told you he wouldn’t have energy to eat. It’s really not worth cooking anything for him these days,” he said as he started to pack the food away.

 

“This is ridiculous,” complained Rin.

 

“Won’t last forever,” said Haru, “I won’t let it,” he added to himself.

 

* * *

 

It was well after noon when Makoto finally got up and devoured food in almost Olympian quantities. “You don’t have to go with us do you?” asked Rin, “You can film your sequence later, can’t you?”

 

“I have learnt that its best to just get these things out of the way,” replied Makoto, he smiled, “Besides, all I have to do is swim a few laps of backstroke today, and you guys aren’t going to mess-up a few laps of your favourite strokes. So it should all go smoothly! So I am sure I’ll get to come home and sleep soon enough! Ah,” he looked away, smiling still but sadly this time, “Sorry, I won’t be able to do much with you guys todays either.”

 

“It’s fine,” replied Haru, “I am happy just watching you sleep.”

 

“That’s… kind of creepy,” said Rin.

 

“I thought you would find it romantic,” countered Haru.

 

“Hell no! Anne made me watch fucking Twilight while we were dating,” Rin explained, “After watching a super old vampire watch a teenage girl sleep, I find the whole concept stupid and creepy! So no watching Makoto sleeping while I am around!”

 

“You’re a pain,” said Haru.

 

“Better that than creepy!” countered Rin, “Makoto, tell him.”

 

“Makoto,” said Haru expectantly as both Rin and Haru turned toward Makoto.

 

“Eh… ah…. you are both really romantic but can be a pain sometimes,” replied Makoto honestly, “Umm… can we talk about something else?”

 

“Okay, how about you tell me why you agreed to take another dangerous modelling job?” wondered Haru.

 

“Eh! How?” wondered Makoto, he had been rather cryptic with his schedule entry, knowing that Haru would see his organiser.

 

“The entry you made in your calendar just said ‘perfume job’,” replied Haru, “Your entries are usually more detailed. Plus you had your swimming bag with you last night.”

 

Makoto groaned, he should have guessed his attempts to hide from Haru would clue Haru in. Haru knew him way too well, “It wasn’t dangerous. I just swam with some cute penguins in my merman tail. I didn’t even have to dive down very deep or hold a pose underwater. It was actually kind of relaxing. I swear Haru-chan.”

 

“Drop and -chan,” said Haru, genuinely angry but Makoto knew the anger wasn’t really about the -chan. “Next time,” Haru continued, “Next time just tell me.”

 

“Or just tell people no,” said Rin, “You could barely walk last night, Makoto. What if your muscles seized up or something? It was dangerous.”

 

Makoto didn’t really have anything to say to that, except to mumble an apology. Both Rin and Haru let it go. Shortly after Shiori showed-up waving her phone, “I think you boys will enjoy this,” she said as she accessed a video on the phone, “It’s a new trailer they are releasing for Warrior: Hundred Blades, but just internally for execs and investors and stuff. So I can’t send you a copy, but here have a look.”

 

The boys crowded around the phone. It started with generic scenic shots and then it showed the main character digging himself out from ground, he seems to have been buried alive. There were fight scenes involving swords and magics and then there was a shot of Makoto during the brawl scene between the thugs and samurai declaring, “This isn’t honorable. They are unarmed!”

 

Haru found himself smiling. He didn’t know what kind of character Makoto was supposed to be playing but it seemed a very Makoto thing to say.

 

More random scenes of characters make noble or evil declarations and then there was a brief, 2 second shot of Makoto kissing an unknown girl, “Hold on a sec! When did you get a kissing scene!” cried Rin, more annoyed than jealous. Way too many random strangers were getting a chance to kiss Makoto in his humble opinion.

 

“Well they thought my characters gruesome death would have more meaning if I had a wife,” explained Makoto sheepishly. “So one of the attendants to the lady got an expanded role and became my characters wife.”

 

“I wish you wouldn’t kiss so many people,” Haru added with a pout.

 

“Sorry,” replied Makoto sheepishly, “But they don’t mean anything!” he assured Haru.

 

Shiori rolled her eyes, “Let’s get going. We don’t want to be late,” she said, closing the trailer, “Those were the only two shots of Makoto in the current trailer,” she explained, since there were still about 10 seconds to go, “By the way,” Shiori added, “Have you thought of a title for that angsty song yet?”

 

For a moment Makoto seemed lost in his memories, “How about, ‘Sad day in the sun’?” he offered.

 

“Angsty, I liked it,” declared Shiori.

  
Rin and Haru looked at Makoto questioningly but Makoto just said, “Let’s go swim!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was thinking I could wrap this up in 25 chapters… so not going to happen. I might manage to wrap-up by 30 chapters. *sigh* I guess its reached the point of “too long to attract new readers”. Hopefully some people will hang around until the end. Anyway, thanks for reading so far! Reviews much appreciated!
> 
>  
> 
> Also about Makoto’s debut album tracklist, below is a list of youtube codes of the non-Free ones (I think most people are familiar with the Free! songs). Yes, Makoto’s VA sang all of them and so you get to hear “Makoto” sing :D
> 
>  
> 
> Walk: watch?v=GFxbUb0rnN4 (Kuroku no Basketball 2 ending)
> 
> Catal Rhythm: watch?v=j4LdFCqSqg4 (Kuroku no Basketball ending 2) or watch?v=4rHetoVbz-4 (if you just want to hear the song sang by Takao, who’s voiced by Makoto’s VA, singing it while goofing off)
> 
> Towayuki: watch?v=5P-tWT6S8GQ (absolutely beautiful song! Seriously go listen!)
> 
> Sad day in the sun: watch?v=pWcgmKIzqy8 (I like the melody and so let’s just assume the lyrics are about Rin’s father’s funeral, Haru nearly drowning and basically Makoto’s fear of water in-general)


	25. Chapter 25

Rin honestly did not know what Makoto was planning for his PV as all they got him to do was swim a few laps of butterfly. Rin and Haru also ended-up having a 100m free race just for the hell of it, which also did get filmed. Although Rin wasn’t sure if they were going to use that. Haru too swam a few laps of the front crawl before just taking to soaking in the pool and just swimming free. Makoto seemed to have arranged it so that they could have the pool all to themselves after the production crew had got what they needed. So Haru could just enjoy the water for some time to come. Since this was the first time in weeks he got to just be in the water without coaches yelling instructions and stuff like that, Haru couldn’t care less how they were going to use the footage and instead, just let all thoughts go as he become one with the water.

 

“Are you just going to sit and watch Haru swim?” demanded Rin as he came-up to Makoto, who was sitting by the pool side.

 

“Yep,” replied Makoto, “I feel too lazy to keep swimming and watching Haru swim relaxes me,” he confessed, “It’s like watching a dolphin play.”

 

“You are so weird!” commented Rin, sitting down next to him.

 

“What does that say about you, since you are friends with me?” wondered Makoto.

 

“I need new friends?” offered Rin.

 

Makoto laughed, “I am sure you have tons in the National team,” Rin winched, “And probably will have more in time and forget all about your old friends,” he said with a smile, “Well maybe not Haru but certainly me. Especially if this modelling and pop star thing doesn’t work out and my face isn’t plastered around the place.”

 

“Makoto, do you really think you are that easy to forget?” wondered Rin.

 

“I honestly have no idea,” replied Makoto, “I haven't put enough time and distance between the people I want to remember me forever. But honestly who knows who would remember me past high school. Maybe even Haru-chan and I would have lost touch in college. I wouldn’t have wanted it of course and done everything in my power to be Haru-chan’s best friends forever. But time and distance will work their ruin,” he admitted sadly.

 

Rin didn’t have a response to that, so instead he asked, “So tell me about this PV.”

 

“It’s a secret!” replied Makoto, “But its about swimming.”

 

“I guessed that much!”

 

Makoto laughed, “Just wait, it’ll be released soon enough.”

 

* * *

 

As the preparations for the Asian games trials heated-up, even Haru had to stopped going to Makoto’s apartment as the swim team instigated a strict curfew. Haru didn’t like it one bit. Especially when he saw Makoto’s overpacked schedule and wondered if Makoto was eating right or just surviving on chocolate, whether he was getting enough sleep.

 

For his part, Makoto fretted about Haru’s forced confinement with other people. Indeed, that’s all Makoto could chat about when once again the two of them had been reduced to communicating electronically.

 

Makoto: I hope you are getting sometime to yourself.

 

Haru: I am fine. The curfew doesn’t leave me time to go to your place and come back but I have enough time to go for walks. There is a park nearby that’s quite and secluded. I feed the ducks there.

 

Makoto: Haru, you don’t jump into the pond do you?

 

Haru: Of course not! It’s no fun when you are not around.

 

Makoto: What’s that supposed to mean.

 

Haru: If you are not here, all it means is that I’ll get to go straight into the water.

 

Makoto: Isn’t that what you want to do?

 

Haru: Yes but being able to get into the water just like that is boring! It’s more fun to be held back, pulled against your broad, strong chest while I am half-naked, fighting against your iron grip to get to the water… being able to best you and get to the water, now that’s a challenge!

 

Makoto: (>.<)

 

Makoto: You know Haru, if anyone read what you wrote, they would think you were flirting with me and had the hots for me.

 

Haru: And what do you think.

 

Makoto: I think Haru is cruel for teasing me.

 

Haru: One of us is cruel.

 

Makoto: What’s that supposed to mean?

 

Haru: It means you lost this round of mind reading. As penalty for losing, you have to take me to a cat cafe that serves mackerels.

 

Makoto: I would have done that even if I won. (^.^) Anyway, Haru, I have to go. The quiz show is about to start

 

Haru put away his phone and absently wondered how Makoto was going to go on the quiz show. Well to be precise, it was the quiz portion of a popular nightly variety show. The segment Makoto was filming wouldn’t be aired until tomorrow but Haru wasn’t sure if he would get a chance to see it. He hadn’t been to the dorm rec room yet and didn’t know if he would be allowed to just flip the channel to Makoto’s quiz show. But unfortunately, they didn’t have a TV in their room. Haru sighed and checked the time. He needed to get back to the dorm.

 

Competitive swimming at the national level was as awful and restrictive as he always imagined it to be. But for now, it was the only thing he could think of doing. Not that he didn’t have options. A casual mention of university got his email flooded with helpful information from Rei, who even went so far as to create lists of top universities for fine art and graphic design, including information on part-time jobs that would be beneficial to his career and not just be a source of income, such as work as an assistant to a manga artist.. A comment that Haru didn’t think he could work for anyone but was considering opening his own business resulted in being flooded with even more information but this time on how to start a business and the likes.

 

Haru was grateful and the information Rei had sent him certainly gave him a lot to think about. But one thing was clearly, Haru needed a portfolio of his work. Haru had helped Makoto put together a portfolio and while a modelling portfolio and an artist's portfolio were not the same, they both needed to demonstrate that the person whose portfolio it was had a range of abilities and show how developed those abilities where. In a nutshell, Haru had a lot of work to do before who had something to do in Tokyo that wasn’t competitive swimming.

 

“It’s fine,” he said to himself, “I get to be in the same city as Makoto again, with more chances to see him and be with him, its fine for now. If worse, comes to worse, I’ll use the money grandmother left me live on while I work on a portfolio,” because Haru wasn’t certain about anything where his parents were concerned and did not know if he could count on them to support him, should he just decide to just work on his portfolio. His mother would most likely understand but his father… he wasn’t so sure. At any rate, Haru had his own reasons to want to become totally independent of his parents as soon as possible.

 

* * *

 

“He’s handsome,” commented the female manager of one of the idols who was going to be on the quiz segment with Makoto as she and the idol in question watched Makoto text on his phone, sitting quietly on one corner of the green room.

 

“He’s big,” replied the idol in question, the lead singer of a visual kei band whose physic would be described as scrawny, “You know what they say about big guys?” they kept their voices low but Makoto had his large orange headphones on, so there was no danger of him overhearing them.

 

“They are fun to ride in bed?” offered the manager.

 

“They’re stupid!” corrected the idol.

 

“Why can’t they be both?” wondered the manager, “I mean, I don’t care if he’s stupid as long as he can get it up and keep it up until I am satisfied.”

 

The idol laughed, “You have a one track mind. But I am pretty sure they don’t call him St. Tachibana because he’s experienced in the bedroom.”

 

“I don’t know, have you seen that ad for ‘Seduction’ he was in? That was steamy!” she replied, “Plus a friend of a friend is part of the cast on a film where he has a small part. They said that the actress he had to kiss praised his skill.”

 

“A friend of a friend heard he was a good kisser and a kiss for a 30s ad is not enough evidence that he’s not a blushing virgin,” replied the idol annoyed. He really didn’t like Makoto. Mostly because some of his (relatively unsuccessful) friends who were making a living as studio musicians were working on Makoto’s debut album and wouldn’t shut-up about how good Makoto was. Not that he cared about his loser friends opinion.

 

“He’s an idiot,” said the idol, with more passion than he intended, “He looks like an idiot. A smiling idiot who probably has vast amounts of empty space between his ears. His debut album will probably suck, music wise, maybe it’ll sell a bit because he has a pretty face but that’s about it.”

 

The manager blinked, that seemed really harsh, “He could have a good voice and I also hear they are getting him to write some of his own material. So maybe he’ll turn out to be a musical genius! I mean, you haven’t even heard him sing.”

 

“Just whose manager are you?” demanded the idol, “Besides, there are a lot of musical geniuses who can’t do anything in front of the mic. Music is about the whole package! Image, music and everything. He’s got no image.”

 

“St Tachibana isn’t an image?” wondered the manager. The idol glared at her but before he could reply, an assistant came into greenroom to call everybody to the quiz set.

 

“Good luck,” Makoto said to the idol with a smile, as they passed each other.

 

“Good luck to you too,” replied the idol, coldy.

 

But Makoto replied with a genuine smile, “Thanks! I am not very good with general knowledge, so I’ll need it,” he said honestly, “But I hear there is a literature and history category, so hopefully I won’t be at zero.”

 

The idol smiled politely at Makoto as he gave his manager a look. His manager correctly interpreted as meaning, “See, big and stupid.”

 

There were four celebrities for a the roughly 18 minute quiz segment consisting of five 3 minute rounds book ended by a one minute rapid fire round. The person with the highest score at the end of the starting rapid fire round got to pick the question category for the first 3 minute round and then the person with the highest score at the end of the round got to pick the category for the next round and so on, until it was time for the ending rapid fire round.

 

Makoto didn’t do too well in the starting rapid fire round. Managing to only buzz in for one question, “What’s the capital of Australia” and that he only knew because of what Rin had told him. Makoto couldn’t help but wish he had Rei’s breadth of knowledge. Fortunately for him, the first category picked was “food & drinks” that was mostly questions about what various dishes and drinks were called, as well as some questions on names of cooking techniques. Makoto was, as Haru put it, all paws when it came to cooking, but Rin didn’t just love cooking he also loved talking about cooking. So Makoto ended-up knowing a lot of the answers.

 

However, he didn’t know enough to win the round. The next category picked was current affairs but ended-up being a bunch of questions about celebrities. Makoto knew a few things he had heard from Shiori but just enough to not fall too far behind. He had no hope of winning the round but fortunately, the winner of the round picked “books” as the next category.

 

Makoto loved reading novels, as did Haru. Although Rei, and even Rin, would have beaten them in the amount of overall books read but that wasn’t the point here. The questions were mostly about novels and Makoto answered enough to not only reach par with the top scorer but edge her out by one question to have the highest score at the end of the round. So Makoto got to pick the next category and he picked history. Makoto was good with history and won the round but didn’t know what to choose thing. He opted for “sports” even though, truthfully speaking, he didn’t really know much sport trivia and he could pretty much guess that most of the questions would be about baseball or association football. Makoto’s guess proved true but he was still able to answer a few questions. But Makoto had a good lead built-up from the previous two rounds and so entered the last rapid fire round in the lead.

 

He did better in the rapid fire, in that he managed to answer two questions this time. But that wasn’t enough to maintain his lead and Makoto ended the game tied, which lead to the tie breaker question, “When did Japan first take part in the Summer Olympic games?”

 

Now this one Makoto did know the answer to, thanks to Rin, “1912 in Stockholm.”

 

“Correct! So our winner today is Tachibana Makoto-san! Look forward to his new album, coming out in November!” before moving on to plug the drama of the actress who came second and thanking everybody for participating.

 

“Looks like he wasn’t as stupid as you thought he was,” the visual kei idol’s manager could not help but say when she met-up with him back in the green room.

 

“Shut up,” he barked and would have said a few other things to vent his anger at coming 3rd, behind Makoto and a drama actress who had been the one to tie with Makoto, but Makoto chose that moment to enter the green room and so the conversation could not continue.

 

“Good work today,” Makoto said politely, “You were really good in the rapid fire rounds,” it was true. The Visual Kei idol had taken an early lead by winning the rapid fire round and had held his own against the drama actress in the food and current affair category and again in the ending rapid fire round. It’s just that Makoto had dominated the books and history rounds. Meaning that the Visual Kei idol had actually helped secure Makoto’s victory by fighting viciously against the drama actress.

 

Perhaps it was this realisation that made the idol’s reply to Makoto’s polite comments clipped, “Thanks,” the idol replied, doing his best to appear unwelcoming.

 

Makoto took the hint and after shooting another polite smile, moved on to grab his stuff and leave. “Why don’t you like him?” wondered the idol’s manager once Makoto had left the room.

 

“He reminds me of some of the kids I used to go to school with,” said the idol, “They always seem to get places without paying their dues. St Tachibana is no different. Everything is getting handed to him in a silver platter and its just unfair!”

 

“I think you picked the wrong industry for fairness,” commented the manager, “So much of what we do is based on luck and luck isn’t fair,” the idol didn’t say anything until the 4th participants of the quiz show came in.

 

It was the model Hinamori Chizuru, Makoto’s frequent collaborator, “Ah! Good work today!”

 

“Thanks,” replied the idol more genuinely, “You worked hard too, so thank you.”

 

“Ah! I didn’t do so well! I kept getting beaten to the buzzer! But Mako-chan was awesome wasn’t he?” she asked, “I work with him often. He’s really great! So nice and handsome and smart. He’s always looking out for me. I wish I could date him!”

 

“Oh, why can’t you?” wondered the idol.

 

“He’s not allowed,” replied Hinamori with a pout, “I was in the middle of confessing to him when Yamagami Shiori-san, ah that’s Mako-chan’s manager, just barged in and told me he’s not allowed,” her pout deepened, “It’s not fair!”

 

The visual kai idol ground his teeth while his manager commemorated, “Oh that’s awful! But it’s probably only until the debut and maybe the debut tour. I am sure he’ll be allowed to date soon.”

 

Hinamori visibly brightened, “You think so? That would be so awesome! I mean, well, Mako-chan would have to accept my confession but I am sure he will!”

 

“I am sure too!” replied the manager. Hinamori flashed a smile and went on her way, “Ah to be so young again!” The Visual Kei idol just rolled his eyes and added another reason to why he didn’t like Makoto.

 

* * *

 

Haru walked into the rec room determine to hog the TV and watch Makoto’s quiz performance. He had gone so far as to instruct Makoto not to let him know how he went, so as not to be spoilt. He came in to find the TV tuned to a show about stray cats lifting fish and being judged by the weight of the fish the cats were able to carry away. Haru made a mental note to watch the show with Makoto since it was something Makoto would enjoy.

 

“Nanase!” said someone… Kamazuka, Haru thought his name was, “It’s unusual to see you in the rec room!”

 

“My childhood friend is going to be on TV,” Haru got straight to the point, “I wanted to watch him.”

 

“Oh?” said someone else. Haru wasn’t sure if he was called Murasaki or was Murashibara but he was sure the guy had ‘Mura-’ in his name, “Which channel and what’s he going to do?”

 

“I bet it’s the ninja show,” said Nasi, a fellow freestyle swimmer who Haru did know, “Well I hope its the ninja show.”

 

“No, he’s going to be on a quiz segment of a variety show,” replied Haru, “I think its on Tokyo MX.”

 

“Ah that’s boring!” replied Nasi.

 

“What’s going on?” asked Mikoshiba coming in.

 

“We are about to watch Nanase’s childhood friend take part in a quiz show,” replied Kamazuka as he changed the channel to Tokyo MX.

 

“Oh? Tachibana is going to be on TV?” asked Mikoshiba but without waiting for an answer sat down on the couch in front of the TV, “This should be interesting.”

 

“Let’s make it more interesting!” commented Muraski or Murashibara or whatever his name was.

 

“What do you have in mind, Murai-san,” wondered Nasi.

 

“Well that wasn’t helpful at all”, thought Haru as he sat down next to Mikoshiba, “Murai-san could be short for Muraski or Murashibara. Whatever, it doesn’t look like I have to address him by name tonight so it’s fine for now,” Haru reasoned, not really wanting to say the wrong name.

 

“Let’s play along with the quiz!” suggested Murai.

 

“Great idea,” joined in Mikoshiba, “But we’ll need buzzers.”

 

“I have a whistle,” came a new voice, Noro Masaru, a freestyle swimmer from Samezuka. Well like Mikoshiba, he had graduated but that was a detail no one paid much attention to.

 

“I’ll use my phone!” said Nasi, “I just downloaded a buzzer app!”

 

“Eh! I’ll do that too!” and soon everybody was scrambling to get buzzer apps or various noisemakers.

 

“How annoying,” thought Haru but he was glad that everybody seemed to want to enjoy watching Makoto and as long as Haru got to watch Makoto, he could tolerate everybody making annoying noises.

 

“Haru… I got…” started Rin as he entered the rec room to find it in pandemonium, “What’s going…”

 

“We are about to play along with Tachibana Makoto’s quiz appearance,” came the reply from behind Rin, “At least that’s who I understand is Nanase’s childhood friend. He was the captain of the Iwatobi swimclub wasn’t he,” it wasn’t really a question.

 

“Kawamura…” Rin identified turning around, “... senpai,” he added belatedly. It’s not that Rin held a grudge against Kawamura for taking his place in the Samezuka relay team last year. He just… actually he had no idea what his problem with Kawamura was, he just didn’t like the guy.

 

“I hope they can hear my bell,” he commented absently as he passed Rin, holding a little bell charm, the kind they sometimes sold at shrines, “But its my lucky charm, so it should be okay,” he continued, “I got it the day I got back my place in the relay. A place that had been stolen from me,” that last part was clearly intended as a bard towards Rin.

 

Rin opened his mouth to retort but nothing came out. Besides, Kawamura hadn’t waited around for a reply and Rin didn’t want to make a spectacle of himself by confronting Kawamura in the middle of the rec room. Instead, he turned back and headed towards his dorm room. As Haru enjoyed Makoto’s performance with the rest of the swim team in the rec room, Rin broke out the mini TV he had just bought, so that he and Haru could watch the show in their room, and watched by himself.

 

“Well at least,” thought Rin, “I no longer have to feel bad about not liking Kawamura.”

 

* * *

 

Makoto wasn’t sure why thursday was a good day to launch a PV but Shiori assured him it was the best day of the week. So on Thursday, July 31st, Makoto’s PV was officially released on the internet to various videos and received a play on a music video program on TV. The talent agency through a party, costs to be added to Makoto’s ledger, for the production crew that helped with the PV and recording Makoto’s single, which was also be released that day. However, Makoto’s friends and family could not attend the event.

 

Haru, who along with Rin were forbidden from leaving their dorm on account of the Asian games trials starting the next day. His siblings had school that next day and his parents work. Makoto let them know that he didn’t want to disrupt either and so they should just watch on TV or watch on the internet. He said the same to his friends, although he was half afraid that Nagisa would still convince everybody to skip school and come to Tokyo. He told them all that he rather they be at his live show on August 16th. That was the big thing, this was just the pre-event and an excuse to relax and have a party as reward for the hard work they had already put in.

 

Still, Makoto couldn’t help but wonder if Haru and Rin would have an opportunity to see his PV. He hoped they did and he hoped they both liked it. Especially Rin since Makoto had put something special in the PV, just for Rin. Makoto wasn’t even sure if Rin would even register the shots as being anything special or if the shots would do anything for Rin but he hoped it would put a smile on Rin’s face, even if for a little while.

 

“Mako-chan, Mako-chan, its starting!” said one of the girls on the production crew. The room hushed as everybody gathered around the big screen projection as the hosts of the show started their introductory banter.

 

Several kilometers and multiple train stops away, Haru and Rin were getting ready to watch Makoto’s PV on the mini TV Rin had gotten. Rin had told Haru to just go to the rec room but since Haru knew Rin wasn’t going to join, he decided to watch with Rin. Besides, it was less troublesome this way, or so Haru told himself. However, Mikoshiba had other plans.

 

He threw open their door just as the hosts started their banter and demanded, “What are you two doing? Come on! You’ll miss Tachibana’s PV! Let’s go, let’s go!”

 

Haru got up and said to Rin, “It’s better to watch on a bigger screen,” starting to follow Mikoshiba.

 

“You, you wanted to watch in the rec room all along didn’t you,” said Rin, Haru didn’t answer. Rin sighed and followed Haru and Mikoshiba.

 

They entered the rec room just as the PV started with a black screen and Makoto’s voice singing the intro and then came the water and the drums and guitars and Makoto’s voice rocking out. It was as if he was standing in the middle of a stormy sea and singing.

 

Most of the time the sea was dark and scary but then the sea would turn bright and when it did, one of his friends would be in the water. Rei, Nagisa, Rin… Rin gasped out loud when he saw himself on screen. He couldn’t believe it! Makoto remembered… but Rin knew he remembered but still… to actually do it…to actually see it...

 

The moment with Rin was over. Haru came into the ocean and everything became bright and warm. There was so much light, light and water mingling to create a beautiful calm blue. But then they switched to an actual stadium pumping with energy and raw emotions. Not unlike the atmosphere during a race and there was a race taking place. Haru and Rin were racing in the 100m in the pool in the centre of the stadium. Digital magic put Makoto between the lanes Haru and Rin were occupying. But then everything calmed again as the final lines of the song were sung. This time Makoto was in front as in the background Rei, Nagisa, Rin and Haru lined-up thanks to clever editing because they certainly had not been able to be on set together.

 

“Get set go,” Makoto sang and in the background everybody jumped into the water.

 

“Wow that was awesome,” said Nasi, “I am suddenly pumped and want to go swimming!”

 

“We should totally play the song in the locker room tomorrow!” said Noro.

 

“Way ahead of you,” replied Mikoshiba playing with his phone, “Bought and downloading!”

 

“Do you think Tachibana will mind if we pump his song in the locker room?” asked Nasi, turning towards the back to address Haru, “Some artists… what the hell Matsuoka!”

 

Everybody turned to Rin at the exclamation, “Rin!” explained Haru, the concern permeating his voice, “Why are you crying?”

 

“Crying?” thought Rin, just then realising that his vision had become blurry with tears and that he had a hand over his mouth to stifle the sobs. He hadn’t realised. Just as he hadn’t seen anything of the PV past his first appearance. He couldn’t really think of anything besides seeing himself swimming the butterfly, through a waters laden with cherry blossoms as even more cherry blossoms swirled in the wind. Beautiful, perfect, digital cherry blossoms.

 

It had been a stupid childhood wish, born of the moment when Rin had first seen the tall majestic cherry tree standing besides the pool at Iwatobi Elementary. He didn’t really think much of the wish. He didn’t even care enough to try and realise it. Always just accepting that when the cherry blossoms were in bloom, it would be too cold to swim in an outdoor pool. Then why was he crying? Why had the sight made him so happy? He didn’t know and maybe, it didn’t matter.

 

“Rin?” Haru probed again, gently, getting a little worried by his lack of response.

  
“I don’t know,” he finally replied to Haru’s question about why he was crying, “But its okay. I am actually very, very happy,” suddenly he smirked, “Tomorrow can’t come fast enough. I ready to kick some serious ass!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kid you not, that cat lifting fish thing is an actual Japanese show I saw on TV last time I was in Japan. It was adorable and hilarious!
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> Incidentally, Noro Masaru and Kawamura Tetsuo are from episode 11 of Free! There names were on the final list of relay swimmers for Samezuka. Going purely by the order in which the names were presented, my guess is that Kawamura Tetsuo was the butterfly swimmer who was put in instead of Rin. I decided that both were 3rd year at the time of Free! and having graduated, like Mikoshiba, were trying their luck as pro swimmers.
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> Also, I honestly don’t know why I went to so much detail with Makoto’s quiz show but I kept thinking of all the mangas I read where there were celebrities and they all seem to go on quiz shows while getting started or even when they are established. So I am like, maybe that’s a thing you do in Japan when you are starting out or just looking to promote something… and that’s why Makoto ended-up on a quiz show.


	26. Chapter 26

The Asian Game trials were open to the public and Makoto had gotten the best ticket he could afford months ago. His ticket spanned all the days but he was really only interested in the first two days as those were the day they were going hold the freestyle and butterfly 100m and 200m events. Haru was obviously only swimming free and Rin, Makoto had learnt, had been forced to only swim the butterfly event. Makoto hoped Rin would be alright, hoped he wouldn’t be too hang-up on being forced out of the freestyle program.

 

Actually, Makoto hoped Haru would be able to swim free as well. His friends were surprisingly sensitive and Makoto hadn’t forget Rin being unable to pull himself out of the water when he had bombed his 100m freestyle event in the regionals last year or Haru losing to Rin during the prefecture tournament stage, or for that matter, Haru dragging the team down and nearly costing them their place in the finals back during the 6th grade relay semi-finals. His friends were temperamental, their emotional state effecting their swimming greatly.

 

Makoto was abruptly reminded of what Coach Sasabe had said about professional swimming. Sasabe had observed that that professional swimmers often had to perform even when their personal lives were falling apart and while it may seem cruel, swimming at a professional level was not a game but serious business on which people’s livelihoods depended. So a swimmer who couldn’t check his baggage at the door was often a liability to a team that needed to fill performance quotas in the form of medals, placements etc. Such was the world of adult swimming. A world where, as Rin had discovered, antics such as they had pulled in the regionals last year were seen as acts of terrible betrayal that made people hate you. Not, a beautiful act of friendship that needed to happen to save a friend who was lost in darkness.

 

Makoto sighed as he got ready to go to the stadium, he really hoped both Rin and Haru performed well today. He left his apartment, making sure to lock it securely behind him. In Iwatobi you could get away with not locking your doors, although it was not advisable. However, in Tokyo an unlocked door was simply asking for trouble. Just as he turned away from his door, this phone rang. The caller ID showed that it was Shiori. Makoto wondered why she was calling him on his first day off in weeks and so early in the day too! Hopefully nothing happened that required Makoto’s immediate attention. Just for today, Makoto wanted to enjoy watching Rin and Haru swim in peace.

 

* * *

 

Rin was up first. “Good luck, Rin,” Haru said, in his intense halting fashion that he tended to speak in when saying something really important.

 

“Thanks,” replied Rin. He briefly wondered if Makoto was up in the stands but then ruthlessly turned his mind back to the race at hand. He was going to win every one of his races. He was going to beat his senpais, including the veterans and put himself in a position where no one could deny that he belonged in the world of elite swimming. So no one would tell him to give it up, go home and take-up fishing. Rin hated the smell of raw fish.

 

* * *

 

It was however a good thing that Rin decided not to look for Makoto because Makoto was not in the stands. Shiori’s phone call to him in the morning was to inform him that he has going to be interviewed for an afternoon entertainment show, often seen by young girls just returning from school. The interview had been originally booked for one of the agencies other talents but that talents latest album had been heavily panned and the sales figures were dismal. The critics agreed that the singer in question was no longer young enough to be a teen idol but was still trying to be one and just coming across as creepy.

 

As a result the show had wanted to cancel the spot entirely. Opting instead to run a different piece to fill the time the interview was supposed to take. But the agency had offered Makoto instead. Given that Makoto was producing not insignificant Twitter chatter following his PV release the night before, the show was happy to hand the time over to the up and coming Makoto, who was both drawing critical praise and was a teen, singing for other teens.

 

Unfortunately, it meant Makoto was going to missed the entire morning’s swim program. Including Rin and Haru’s first heat. “But you’ll get to watch the rest,” Shiori pointed out when Makoto had whined, “I mean, your friends are unlikely to bomb out in the first heat and if they do, do you really want to see that happen?”

 

“You have a point,” Makoto agreed with a sigh, “Fine but I am turning my phone off straight after!”

 

“Fine, fine,” said Shiori and just like that, Makoto was sitting down for his first ever interview.

 

“Welcome Tachibana-san. Why don’t we start with a short introduction.  Who is Tachibana Makoto?” prompted the interview as the camera started rolling.

 

“I am Tachibana Makoto. I am a third year high school student. Last autumn I got scouted to be a model and moved to Tokyo from my home town of Iwatobi to do just that. But since then I have decided to try my hand at singing. I am really enjoying singing and hope people will enjoy listening to me too,” he said with a sweet smile on his face.

 

“Yes, your PV is causing quite the buzz. It is so full of water and swimming! Do you like swimming?” asked the interviewer.

 

“I was the captain of our swim club. I specialise in the backstroke. I really enjoy swimming with my friends,” said Makoto.

 

“Don’t tell me you used to dream about being a pro-swimmer!” teased the interviewer, going with the flow since it was an unscripted interview.

 

“No, no, never!” replied Makoto earnestly, “Pro swimming is not my thing besides I am not good enough to compete in the elite level. But I have two friends taking part in the Asian game trials that are happening today. Actually they were in my PV. They are both amazing swimmers and really belong in the water.”

 

“Were the other swimmers in the video also your friends?” wondered the interviewer.

 

“Yes! I am very grateful that they agreed to appear in my PV. I think of my friends when I sing, so it was good to have them in my first ever PV,” said Makoto.

 

“So all the songs in your new album is about your friends?”

 

“Well the songs I wrote were definitely about my friends, especially my best friend and the things we enjoyed or memories we share. Both light and dark memories. But the other songs I also picked because they reminded me either of my friends or something I could relate to,” Makoto admitted with a small laugh.

 

“What kind of image do you want our audience to associate with Tachibana Makoto?” wondered the interviewer.

 

“I don’t really have an image,” Makoto readily replied, “I am just myself and unfortunately, when you are just yourself, you can’t have a consistent image. Because, you know, human are not consistent. But I am definitely not a bad boy or a cool guy,” Makoto added with a self deprecating laugh, “I don’t like horror at all and even too much gore unsettles me. I have been told repeatedly that cool guys aren’t scaredy cats,” he finished with a charming grin.

 

“I am pretty sure no girl will mind that fact that you are a scaredy cat, Tachibaba-san!” teashed the interviewer, “It is the 21st century afterall! I am sure any girl dating you would love to take you to a haunted house or horror movie and let you cling to her!”

 

Makoto laughed, “Well I hope any girl I date in the future will dislike horror as much as I do,” he said hopefully.

 

“Speaking of girls, do you have anyone special in your life right now?”

 

“No, I am single right now and really too busy to date. But the two friends I mentioned before often hangout with me. One of them is my childhood friend and my best friend. We have been together all our lives. I don’t really remember a time when we weren’t together. So for me, even though its not romantic, now and always there is no one more special than him,” Makoto replied.

 

“That’s really sweet but might be a pain for any girl you date in the future,” the interviewer commented jokingly, Makoto laughed in response, “But childhood friends are important and should be cherished. But you seem like a very steadfast friend.”

“Friends are important,” replied Makoto, “For me, my friends and family are the source of my strength and the heart of my songs,” he added with a laugh.

 

“On that note,” said the interview, jumping on the perfect end point, “Why don’t you tell our audience when to expect your single and debut album to end our segment?”

 

“Right, my single is Rage On and its out now. My album is called Ever Blue and will come out on the 20th of August. I hope you will enjoy my songs.”

 

“I am sure they will,” said the interviewer as the camera stopped rolling.

 

* * *

 

Makoto rushed into the aquatic centre and took his seat. He had looked-up the results of the heats held in the morning and knew the both Rin and Haru had advanced. He was glad. He was in time to see the 100m quarter finals onwards for both freestyle and butterfly. The 200m events would be held tomorrow. But that was tomorrow, what was important now was that Rin and Haru did well in the 100m. Especially Rin, for whom this was a vital step towards his future. Haru, Makoto knew full well, was just using this as an excuse to be in Tokyo, to be with Makoto.

 

It made Makoto deliriously happy to know Haru was going through so much trouble for him. But he hoped that Haru wasn’t too miserable where he was. Although Makoto knew that if it wasn’t swimming or something water related, Haru’s career would involve the arts. But Makoto knew that Haru needed time to paint and draw and build-up his art portfolio. Makoto wouldn’t have cared if Haru turned his tiny apartment into an art studio with just enough space left to sleep in.

 

However, Makoto wasn’t about to start a conversation with Haru that began, “I know you don’t really want to swim at the elite level, Haru-chan,” because honestly, Makoto didn’t know if Haru would not grow to love swimming at the elite level. He had always competitive as an afterthought but no one could deny that he did seem to enjoy it and enjoy winning. Haru certainly got upset when Rin beat him or when he didn’t perform at his best. Of course, winning wasn’t everything to Haru. It never had been but the relay in elementary school cemented that belief. There were other things Haru cared about more, which made Makoto worry about how the rest of the team was treating Haru. How would a team of hyper competitive swimmers who lived to win, lived to go faster and faster treat someone who just wanted to be one with the water?

 

* * *

 

“You are so weird, Nanase!” exclaimed Murai… what was his full name again, “You win and just get out of the pool without checking your time or anything!”

 

“I won,” replied Haru indifferently. He had just comfortably got through the semi-finals. Admittedly, his semi-finals had not included the veteran swimmer Takuro Fujii and the current freestyle star of the Japanese National Team Shioura Shinri. Haru would face them both in the finals.

 

“Winning isn’t everything! The time matters too! I mean, there is a minimum time you have to make before you can qualify for the games,” pointed out Murai-some, “48.82 seconds is the qualifying time for 100 m free for the Olympics. Technically the Asian games have the same qualifying time but,” Murai-whatever laughed self deprecatingly, “No one in Japan can swim that fast consistently. Thankfully, no one in China or Korea can swim that fast consistently either and the rest of Asia isn’t that big on swimming. So for Asian games, you generally get in if you are under a minute and if you can actually swim 48.82 seconds consistently, you’ll definitely win. I mean, the games record is only 49.06 seconds.”

 

Haru didn’t say anything. Murai- really what is his name continued, “Really as freestyle swimmers from Japan, the Asian games is our big event! Although Shioura Shinri-senpai did well last year in the World Championships by making it to the semi-finals and posting a time of 48.51 seconds. But he’s still not up to the monsters from the US and Australia. I mean, the James Magnussen posted 47.71 seconds to take gold in the world championship last year. Can you imagine swimming that fast? I wonder if its even possible for Japanese people to swim that fast. Our national record for 100m freestyle is only 48.49 seconds which is also the Asian record. Maybe we need more meat in our diets,” he suggested jokingly.

 

“Mackerels is better,” said Haru, as he started to walk away. He couldn’t really tell what he was feeling. It’s something he never felt before. He just kept thinking, “This is not right.”

 

* * *

 

Something was different about Haru. Makoto noticed when Haru came-out for the finals. He couldn’t put his finger on it but when the camera zoomed to show his face on the jumbotron, Makoto could tell something was up. Whatever it was, it made Makoto nervous with anticipation.. But, Makoto noted, he wasn’t worried. Rather, he found himself looking forward to seeing what Haru was about to do because Makoto could sense that Haru was about to do something…

 

* * *

 

Everybody in the audience during the Asian games trial were swimming buffs of various degrees. Afterall, it was the trials. Not the kind of thing that attracted causal fans. Perhaps that’s what accounted for the stunned silence and instant comprehension of the significance of what just happened as Haru climbed out of the pool and without ceremony, headed to the locker rooms. But he had glanced at the board.

 

No one else would know how unusual that was but Makoto knew and wondered why Haru had checked his time. Haru would know from the feel of the water that there had been to swimmers ahead of him. Indeed, he would know that he had beat the others by a soul shattering distance. Yet he had still checked the board. Checked the board and seen his time of 47.99 seconds with a flashing AR next to it to indicate that Haru had just set a new Asian record, which was now also the new National Record.

 

At the world level he would still be beaten by the likes of James Magnussen and Cameron McEvoy of Australia and the Americans Jimmy Feigen and Nathan Adrian. But 47.99 seconds would have gotten him placed 5th in the World Swimming Championships last year and he was only eighteen! If he could swim this time consistently for now and kept training and improving, by the time he hit his prime - which male swimmers tended to do in their twenties, he would really be something.

 

* * *

 

Back in the locker room a stunned Rin approached Haru and whispered, “That was amazing.”

 

Haru didn’t reply. So Rin wondered, “How…” he couldn’t continue because he didn’t know exactly what he was asking Haru. Rin knew exactly the training program Haru was on. The diet Haru was on and knew Haru had been steadily improving and also knew that Haru had unplummed depths of natural talents. So maybe the question wasn’t how but why, “Why did you swim like that?” Rin finally asked.

 

“I wanted to show the power of mackrels,” Haru replied completely stoic and straight faced. Rin just stared at him blankly.

 

* * *

 

The audience was still reeling when Rin came out with the other finalists for the 100m butterfly. But the audience quickly recovered themselves and started attending to the race, if only out of politeness. Although some people were genuinly excited and some others wonders if maybe the 100m butterfly would also result in a new record and maybe the discovery of a new star. Afterall, no one had heard of Nanase Haruka until today but from now on, he’ll be a part of Japanse swimming until such time as his record was broken no matter what he did next.

 

The butterfly even however, went as predicted. The veteran swimmers Matsuda Takeshi and Fujii Takuro came first and second but a new swimmer named Matsuoka Rin came third. He was good too. Really making the veterans fight to keep him out of first and second. But clearly Nanase Haruka would be the breakout stars of these trials. Many in the audience found themselves looking forward to the post race press conference, which they would see reported in the sports sections tomorrow or maybe even later tonight in the online outlets. Some more pessimistic individuals couldn’t help but whisper the words “performance enhancing drugs”, yet others questioned if this was just a fluke performance. Still, whether they were talking positively or negatively, all they could talk about was Nanase Haruka.

 

But what I am getting at is that if you are a breast, back or butterfly swimmer in Japan, you would have successful senpais to look-up to and get a boost from them having done it. On the other hand, the state of freestyle is so relatively subpar that the Olympics would be seem like a pipe dream and I think Haru would be offended in that type of thinking or at least be motivated enough to do something about it. Because Haru’s big transformation during Free! was that he realised swimming for the team made him the happiest. So maybe the next step might be swimming to inspire other people/show them a Japanese person can swim that fast? I don’t know! Just my take on things.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah wikipedia, what would I do without you! Just for the record, the Asian record for 100m freestyle is 48.27 seconds at the moment and is held by a Chinese swimmer. However, in the 2012 Olympics Hanser García of Cuba posted 48.04 to come 7th! So really, realistically, no one in Japan who swims 100m would be thinking they can make the Olympics and winning is out of the question.
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> The situation is a bit different in butterfly because the Asian records is and the Japan swimmer Takeshi Matsuda and Takuro Fujii both qualified by posting the Olympic qualification time of 52.36 seconds. But still, neither won the 100m at the Olympic level. However, Takeshi Matsuda did get the bronze in 200m Butterfly and helped Japan get a silver medal in the 4x100m medley relay. Takuro Fujii was also part of the relay team and swam freestyle, posting a time of 48.50s - i.e still slower than the Olympic qualifying time for 100m freestyle… but they won because the other 3 on the team Ryosuke Irie (back, bronze medal in 2012 in 100m breast), Kosuke Kitajima (breast and seriously, this guy has 2 gold medals in 100m breast from 2004 and 2008 but only managed 5th individually in 2012) and of course Takeshi Matsuda are all individual medal winners in their preferred strokes and so could build-up a lead that, despite being faster than Takuro Fujii, the Australian James Magnussen could not swim down. Ah the magic of relay!
> 
>  
> 
> But what I am getting at is that if you are a breast, back or butterfly swimmer in Japan, you would have successful senpais to look-up to and get a boost from them having done it. On the other hand, the state of freestyle is so relatively subpar that the Olympics would be seem like a pipe dream and I think Haru would be offended in that type of thinking or at least be motivated enough to do something about it. Because Haru’s big transformation during Free! was that he realised swimming for the team made him the happiest. So maybe the next step might be swimming to inspire other people/show them a Japanese person can swim that fast? I don’t know! Just my take on things.


	27. Chapter 27

After the first day of trials, national team management had planned to issue some general press releases listing the names of swimmers who had qualified, perhaps give some on camera interview that may or may not be used to fill air time and that would be that. However, Haru’s performance in the pool changed all that and suddenly, more than one reporter wanted to speak to him. This proved a challenge for management as they had no idea what would come out of Haru’s mouth and it was just too late to prep him properly to face the press. There was also the pesky little problem of a drug scandal management was trying very hard to bury and so random publicity was not exactly what management was looking for.

 

However, the PR officers of the national team also did not think it was a good idea to not allow Haru to have a quick meeting with the reporters. So after a brief discussion with the head coach, they decided to let Haru take a couple of questions. They also decided not to attempt to prep Haru as the freestyle coach made clear that Haru wasn’t a great speaker to begin with and beside, Haru was annoyed and extremely reluctant to speak to the press and so PR decided it was safest to just let Haru say whatever he would. They figured it wouldn’t be much.

 

Instead, PR attempted to control the questions. Citing the fact that Haru was new, with this being his first major open competition, they asked the handful of sports reporters gathered to submit one question each and PR would select two, maybe three, that Haru would answer. But the reporters questions were all basically the same, they wanted to know what was behind the dramatic improvement in Haru’s time between this semi-final performance and his finals performance. So PR picked the reporter of the biggest news agency there and told him that he could pose the question to Haru.

 

Haru, however, did not have an answer ready to give. “This is troublesome,” Haru found himself thinking, “I wish Makoto was here. Then Makoto could just read my mind and answer for me. He would probably give a good answer. He’s always had a way with words,” so Haru thought but then it occurred to him that Makoto might not know what was on Haru’s mind.

 

What did Makoto always say to him, when Haru demanded how Makoto know what he was thinking? “I just can. Do you know how many years we’ve been together?” Haru remembered Makoto telling him during the training camp.

 

That’s right, Makoto knew what he was thinking because Makoto was always by his side. It was based on experience. But this… thing was new, Makoto wouldn’t know the meaning of this. Haru would have to explain to Makoto. How would Haru explain to Makoto? For some reason Haru remember the bricks, the bricks from the flowerbed they had made as a graduation project back in elementary school. The bricks which bore the words, “I swim best free for the team,” Haru blurted out, finally breaking an awkward silence that he stretched just long enough to make both PR and the gathered reporters wonder if Haru was alright.

The reporters were confused, Haru decided to ignore them and go on as best he could, “I never cared about my time or winning. I always swam free. I mean…” this was hard, why wasn’t Makoto here. Talking for the both of them was his job! But no, Makoto wouldn’t have been allowed to speak here, Haru had to speak for himself, “I only swim freestyle but I also swim free. That’s why… that’s why I never really thought of competitive swimming seriously.”

 

It felt good to get it out, even if Haru could see that his words shocked the reporters and was making the PR representative bite her lips, “I came to Tokyo because I wanted to be with my best friend. I didn’t have any reason to be here, no other reason to swim but him. But then, then Murai-san,” Haru hoped the reporters knew Murai-san’s full name because hell if he remembered, “Murai-san said that no 100m freestyle swimmer from Japan was equal to the Americans and Australians. That even our best couldn’t swim fast enough to meet the Olympic qualification time during the last Olympics,” Haru said, the reporters found themselves nodding.

 

How could they not? Even as the countries swimmers had maintain a small but steady flow of medals in breast, back and butterfly, freestyle medals have not been forth coming. Their last two medals was a gold from 2004 in the 800m freestyle and before that a bronze from the 4x200m freestyle relay in 1964. The country hadn’t won any medal in the 100m since 1952. In the meantime, everybody else was getting faster and faster.

 

“It’s not right,” Haru said forcefully, “That’s what I thought when Murai-san said those thing and that thought kept burning within me as I lined-up for the finals. I,” Haru clutched at his heart, “Only time I felt like this before was when I was swimming the relay with my friends. I am swim my best and freest when I am swimming with my friends, when I am swimming for the team,” yes, that’s what he would tell Makoto. But before thoughts of Makoto had burnt within his heart, Nagisa had become his wings and Rin the wind, later Rin and Rei had been the wind. Together, all of them had been driving him forward, setting him free. But this time it was different. There had been only one thing driving him forward, urging him to swim free and become one with the water, “It wasn’t right,” Haru repeated, “I wanted… no, I want to make it right and that’s why I’ll swim my best free,” this was going to sound corny but Haru didn’t care, “For the team.”

 

Silence greeted Haru’s pronouncement. The five reporters and the lady from PR all stood speechless. Was he for real? But then he had just set a new national record. But it could be a fluke. He was a total unknown! Where did he come from? Who did he think he was? Could he really do it? “Can you do it?” voice one of the reporters, the first to recover.

 

“I don’t know,” replied Haru honestly, “I… never tested the limits of my ability,” it was the truth. After what happened with Rin in middle school, Haru had let the fruits of his labour up until then rot and had allowed his gift to go to waste as he had simply been counting time until he became ordinary. Yes he had started training again last year but it wasn’t exactly the serious kind of training that would test the limits of his body and mind. No, he had still been lost in the darkness. Caged by guilt and depression. He was free now and now he could potentially finally figure out the limits of his ability.

 

“Umm… that’ll be all!” interjected the PR representative, detecting that the reporters had finally gathered themselves and had moved past their surprise at Haru’s performance and shock at Haru’s statement to finally be full of questions. Lots and lots of questions, no doubt, about everything from Haru’s past to his aspiration and everything else. “Nanase-san is going to be racing the 200m tomorrow. So I am sure you’ll all appreciate the need for him to rest and recover.” With that that she started to usher him away.

 

* * *

 

Done with the press and PR, Haru headed to the locker room to pick-up the rest of his gear. He had to hurry as he had just thirty minutes in which to meet-up with Makoto before he had to report to the team bus that would take him straight to the dorms. A curfew was still in effect.

 

Haru hadn’t had much time to think about Rin. He had managed to wish him good luck for the 100m butterfly finals as they passed each other on their way to and from the locker room but that was about it. However, even in that brief encounter Haru had noted that Rin was a bit… off. But he hadn’t had much time to dwell on it. But his worries all came flooding back when he entered the locker room and found Rin standing over his piled gear, looking forlorn.

 

“Rin,” whispered Haru, but he didn’t know what else to say. He knew now, based on what Rei had told him, that a lot of things were happening to Rin back in Middle school to make him say he would quit swimming. But Haru had been the straw that broke the camels back, hadn’t he? Did he do something like that again?

 

All the excitement and fire that Haru had been feeling started to drain out of him. But, “Congratulations, Haru,” Rin said with a smile, a real smile, looking as happy as he could be, “That was one hell of a swim.”

 

Haru blinked, “You are okay.”

 

“Huh?” wondered Rin a little confused, but then the pieces fell into place and Rin sighed, “Look Haru, whatever happens with me, happens with me. It shouldn’t stop you from swimming. I mean, I am not going to magically become a better swimmer just because you are not there. Actually it would be worse, I wouldn’t have anyone to chase,” Rin said with a grin.

 

Haru nodded, “But back in Middle school…”

 

Rin sighed again, “I am trying to get better,” he replied.

 

“Better from what?” wondered Haru.

 

“Don’t worry about it Haru,” replied Rin, “Now get your things so we can go see Makoto before we have to get back to the dorm.”

 

* * *

 

“Haru!” cried Makoto when the three of them met-up just outside the aquatic center, “That was amazing!” he said, grabbing Haru by the shoulder in his excitement, “That was simply amazing!”

 

Haru smiled one of his rare smiles, “Thanks, well, I had to do something to keep your attention.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“After that PV, with the world getting to hear your rock god voice, I am going to have more competition from both men and women,” pointed out Haru, “So…”

 

“Haru! You’re my irreplaceable best friend! You don’t have to compete with anyone to keep my attention!” Makoto insisted.

 

“Yes, I am the one who has to compete for the whole attention thing,” Rin interjected glumly.

 

“Don’t say that Rin!” protested Makoto, “You were amazing too! I mean, you came third after olympic medalists! And you haven’t even reached your peak yet as a swimmer.”

 

“Maybe I peaked at 12,” suggested Rin.

 

Makoto huffed, “That’s absurd. That’s like Haru thinking he was going to become ordinary at 20!”

 

“My grandmother said,” started Haru.

 

“She didn’t mean it literally Haru!” protested Makoto, “I mean, the saying is true because natural talent alone won’t cut it at age 20 but you aren’t relying on just natural talent, Haru-chan. You have always trained hard, striving to perfect your form and technique so you could be one with the water. You won’t be ordinary at 20!”

 

“He better not be,” said Rin, “He’ll be in the Olympics at age 20. Not an event you want to be ordinary at.”

 

Haru looked away. He wished he was alone with Makoto so he could explain things… but he had already had time to arrange his thoughts right? Plus Makoto would understand more easily than the reporters did and maybe Rin needed to hear what Haru had to say too. “I want to go to the Olympics,” Haru declared, “I decided, tonight, I want to go and win! I want to show the world Japanese people can swim free with the best of them. Be just as fast. It’s not,” Haru paused, “I want to set things right.”

 

Makoto was surprised and taken back at Haru’s determination. He didn’t think that Haru would ever be this dedicated to a competitive swimming goal. But maybe this was Haru’s purpose in life. To be the light that maybe ushers in a new era in Japanese swimming. Makoto smiled, “I am sure you will set thing right, Haru-chan. Maybe you are the only one who can.”

 

Rin said nothing, what could he say, what could he add to what had already been said? Instead, Rin focused on marvelling at the transformation Haru was undergoing before his very eyes now that he had a goal, a purpose, apart from just wanting to swim free. None of the boys noticed the photographer with the telephoto lens snapping a picture of them.

 

* * *

 

Interest in Haru was intense during the 200m events that took place on Saturday the 2nd of August. There was a nervous anticipation and a wonder if yesterday had been a fluke. Haru set those concerns to rest in his first race where he set a new national record by swimming 1:45.20, 0:00:04 seconds better than the record set by Sho Uchida back in 2009. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t win him any medals in the Olympics but he would have gotten a silver in the 2010 Asian games.

 

However, Haru wasn’t done and kept shaving of milliseconds and thus setting a new national records in every race, including the finals where he swam a clean 1:45:00. That time still wouldn’t have won him any medals at the London 2012 olympics but it would have gotten him 4th place. Considering the fact that there hadn’t been a single Japanese swimmer in the 200m freestyle at the London 2012 olympics, Haru’s performance was enough to set the entire stadium on fire. Especially since Haru’s words had been reported in the morning news bulletins and since the audience were largely hard core swimming fans, they had made a point of checking online news sources to learn all they could about Nanase Haruka.

 

Rin also did well in his event of 200m butterfly. But he only managed a 4th place finish behind two veteran swimmers and Samezuka’s Kawamura. Kawamura had finished 4th yesterday behind Rin and had been terribly disappointed in himself since Kawamura loathed Rin with a passion for taking his place in the relay. Of course, ultimately it had been Kawamura who had swam the butterfly leg in the regional tournament but Rin had beaten Kawamura by a mile in that race while swimming for Iwatobi, against the rules.

 

The entire incident that hurt Kawamura’s pride. First, he had been dropped despite his hard work. But just when he had thought the universe was correcting itself, Rin finds a way to prove that he deserved Kawamura’s spot. It didn’t matter to Kawamura that Iwatobi was disqualified. What mattered was that Rin had beaten Kawamura in the butterfly leg. So when both he and Rin got selected for the Nation team training program, Kawamura vowed he would work as hard as he could to prove to everybody he was better than Rin. But unfortunately Rin had come ahead of him in the 100m. No matter, Rin’s powerful kicks were not as useful longer distances.

 

So Kawamura had come third comfortably while Rin had, had to swim for his life to keep the fifth placed swimmer from overtaking him. Naturally, Kawamura couldn’t help but passive-aggressively gloat a little. But, to this credit, Rin had simply ignored him and concentrated on more positive things. Like being free from the curfew now that their events were over and thus being able to have dinner and finally stay over at Makoto’s six tatami apartment. As absurd as it seemed, Rin felt as if he was being allowed to finally go home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously, I am not making anything up about Japan’s 100m Freestyle record. Actually, Japan sucks at Freestyle period! The last time Japan won any Freestyle event was in 2004 when Ai Shibata won gold for the Women’s 800m freestyle event. Before that, Japan won bronze in 4x200m Freestyle Relay Men in 1964 and also previously in 1960 and that’s it! 1952 was the last time Japan won anything in the 100m Freestyle. Hiroshi Suzuki won silver with a time of 57.4s. So yeah, I am not making this up! Hell I wasn’t even planning to put this much focus on swimming. Just happen to look it to it and there it was, the perfect plotline to give Haru some motivation tied to reality!
> 
>  
> 
> Which brings me to my next point, so remember when I said this fic would wrap-up by chapter 30… so not happening. *sigh* I am totally not going to have any readers left by the end. Damn you Makoto, Haru and Rin! Stop giving me more stuff to write about!!!!


	28. Chapter 28

They found a hole in the wall ramen shop frequented by salarymen, most of whom were too drunk to pay them much mind, for dinner. Since Rin didn’t want to talk about swimming, not that there was much to talk about since Makoto had seen them swim and had already congratulated them, he asked about Makoto’s work.

 

Makoto really only had one piece of news that Rin and Haru wouldn’t know anything about. The interview he did yesterday that had caused him to miss their heats, “I am really sorry about that,” said Makoto.

 

“Don’t be stupid,” cided Rin, “You made the right call going to the interview. When is it airing?”

 

“It aired already. Shiori-san sent me a link to a webclip of it. It was a bit weird how they edited together. They cut out most of the questions and just had my responses. Well most of my responses,” Makoto explained, “They cut out a lot of that too.”

 

“Can we see it?” wondered Rin, looking pointedly at Makoto’s pocket where he could see the outline of Makoto’s phone.

 

“I’ll bring it up,” replied Makoto, just then a table full of salarymen did a loud cheer, “I’ll also get my headphones out,” In the end Rin and Haru ended-up sharing a headphone as they watched Makoto’s interview clip.

 

It started with the presenters of the show explaining that tonight they were going to hear from a new artist whose debut single had just been released as the off-vocal Rage On music played in the background. They then cut to Makoto who introduced himself with, “I am Tachibana Makoto. I am a third year high school student. Last autumn I got scouted to be a model and moved to Tokyo from my home town of Iwatobi to do just that. But since then I have decided to try my hand at singing. I am really enjoying singing and hope people will enjoy listening to me too.”

 

The introduction was followed by about a 30 second clip from Rage On PV. They cut back to Makoto who explained, “For me, my friends and family are the source of my strength and the heart of my songs,” cut back 10 more seconds of Rage On before cutting back to Makoto with, “The songs I wrote were definitely about my friends, especially my best friend and the things we enjoyed or memories we share. Both light and dark memories. But the other songs I also picked because they reminded me either of my friends or something I could relate to.”

 

More clips from the PV of Makoto looking and sounding like a rock god then a cut to the seemingly contradictory statement from Makoto about how he’s not cool that started with, “I don’t really have an image. I am just myself. But I am definitely not a bad boy or a cool guy. I don’t like horror at all and even too much gore unsettles me. I have been told repeatedly that cool guys aren’t scaredy cats,” the camera seemed to linger on Makoto’s charming grin.

 

“And Mako-chan fangirl increase by a legion!” exclaimed Rin half in annoyance and half in amusement, “Geez Makoto, keep this up and you’ll start getting mobbed on the streets!”

 

It was possible that the TV show producers also recognised this because the only question not edited out was the one asking Makoto, “Do you have anyone special in your life right now?”

 

“No, I am single right now and really too busy to date,” was the only bit of Makoto’s response that made the cut. The clip then cuts back to the hosts who give the details of Makoto’s single and advertise the date of Makoto’s debut album before moving on to the next story.

 

“I said a lot more than that when we were recording,” said Makoto a little glumly, “But they cut out a lot of it. But I am still pretty happy with what they showed.”

 

“I am not,” said Rin, handing back Makoto his phone and earplugs, “You are so going to get fangirl stalkers!” Haru nodded in agreement.

 

Makoto pulled a face, “Don’t make scary predictions!” he protested as he started to put his phone away when he noticed an unread mail from Shiori. Makoto debated ignoring it but having now noticed it, he knew he would feel guilty if he ignored it.

 

It contained a link to a video and the words, “NOW KISS! Which is what every MakoHaru shipper is saying about now. But just so we are clear, NO KISSING NANASE-SAN.”

 

Completely confused and utterly bewildered, Makoto clicked on the video link, putting in his earphones so he could hear the audio as he shot an apologetic smile towards Rin and Haru and said, “Sorry, but Shiori-san sent me a really weird mail with a video link. So just checking it out.”

 

The video seemed to be of a segment from one of those panel shows that usually have a group of people commenting on news stories, sometimes bringing in extra information from other sources or just relaying gossip they heard. In this case the hosts seemed to be talking about Haru’s Asian game performance.

 

Makoto paused the video, “Maybe you guys should watch with me,” he said, “Here,” he handed Rin one ear bud, “Haru and I will try and share,” with that Haru and Makoto held an ear bud between there ears, leaning in really close. The sound wasn’t great but intelligible enough.

 

“So the Asian game swimming trial are on, with team Japan looking to select the best to send to the games from their current crop of new and veteran swimmers,” explained the host/panel leader, “I am excited. Are you excited?”

 

The panel generally agreed but there was a dissenting voice that Makoto was fairly certain was scripted to be dissenting, “Well I wasn’t that excited. I thought it would be fairly predictable. That is until Nanase Haruka-san swam in the finals. I watched the race half-heartedly, expecting to see another slow 100m free because we really aren’t very good in free but then Nanase-san just exploded! He was so fast! I was shocked! All I could think about was, where did he come from?”

 

“Iwatobi apparently,” chimed in one of the other panelists, “He seems to be something of a raw talent. He’s only just joined the National Swimming program.”

 

“He can’t be all that raw,” said someone else, “You don’t just roll out of bed and be able to swim like that!”

 

“Oh no, I am not saying he doesn’t have years of training but the difference in performance between his semi-finals and finals means that he has a lot of untapped reserves,” explained the panelist.

 

“What I liked most is what he said afterwards, we don’t have a video since it wasn’t recorded but to read what was reported in the paper,” here the panel leader refers to a newspaper, and reads out a paraphrased version of Haru’s declaration that he had come to Tokyo to be with his best friend but now has found a purpose in swimming to show the world that Japanese freestyle swimmers were just as good as the rest of the world, “Powerful words. Especially since last Olympics the chinese and Koreans won silver and bronze in the 200m but we didn’t even have a swimmer in that event.”

 

“Did we win anything in freestyle in the last Asian games?” wondered one of the panelists.

 

“Mostly bronzes but that’s only because our only competition at the Asian level are the Chinese and Koreans. Both nations are consistently better than us in freestyle,” explain the head panelist.

 

“That’s really sad,” chimed in a panelist.

 

“Very sad,” agreed the head panelist.

 

“I am wondering about the best friend now,” chimed in one of the other panelists.

 

“Funny you should mention that because one of the newspapers ran this photo with the Nanase story,” it was a photo showing Makoto clasping Haru by the shoulder, “For those of you who don’t know. That is Tachibana Makoto, a rising idol who has just released his debut single. Here is a clip from his debut single’s PV and if we are not mistaken, that’s Nanase Haruka in the video,” they showed a clip of Rage On. “More than that, Tachibana-san did an interview with one of our sister shows and here are some of the unaired footage from that interview.”

 

The clip that followed that three full questions and answers. Starting with, “Yes, your PV is causing quite the buzz. It is so full of water and swimming! Do you like swimming?”

 

To which Makoto had answered, “I was the captain of our swim club. I specialise in the backstroke. I really enjoy swimming with my friends.”

 

The next was the teasing follow-up statement from the interviewer, “Don’t tell me you used to dream about being a pro-swimmer!”

 

To which Makoto had given the earnest reply, “No, no, never! Pro swimming is not my thing besides I am not good enough to compete in the elite level. But I have two friends taking part in the Asian game trials that are happening today. Actually they were in my PV. They are both amazing swimmers and really belong in the water.”

 

The last question in the clip was about Makoto’s love life. But this time they aired Makoto’s full answer, “No, I am single right now and really too busy to date. But the two friends I mentioned before often hangout with me. One of them is my childhood friend and my best friend. We have been together all our lives. I don’t really remember a time when we weren’t together. So for me, even though its not romantic, now and always there is no one more special than him.”

 

“So you are saying Tachibana Makoto and Nanase Haruka are best friends?” one of the panelists tried to clarify.

 

“Tachibana-san’s agency has confirmed it,” informed the lead panelist, “Seems to be a beautiful friendship. Certainly any girl will have to fight Nanase-san for Tachibana-san’s attention by the sounds of it.”

 

The other panelists laughed at the joke and started some inane banter on the topic of friendship. Makoto turned the clip off since it looked as if everything of importance had already been said. He found himself blushing and being unable to meet Haru’s eyes.

 

“Makoto…” whispered Haru, he wanted desperately to convey how moved he was by Makoto’s declaration that Haru would always be special to him but Haru just couldn’t find the right words. Although, Haru had noted that Makoto had said that it wasn’t romantic between them and that made Haru sad, even as a voice inside Haru reminded him that Makoto only said that because they weren’t romantic right now. Not that they could never be romantic.

 

In short, Haru’s mind was too full for him to be able to express himself. Rin too couldn’t think of anything to say. Once again the depth of Makoto and Haru’s bond was being flaunted in his face and it hurt! It didn’t seem to matter if they were in the water or out of it, Haru’s light just seemed to burn so bright that everything else was cast into shadow.

 

“No,” Rin told himself, “I am not going to do that. Not that again. I just got out of the long dark tunnel. I am not going to put myself back in it with these stupid thoughts.”

 

“Well…” Makoto finally spoke-up, “Looks like I won’t be mobbed by girls after all. Since they now know I come as part of a package.”

 

“I would take you anyway,” said Rin, “Two for the price of one. That sounds like a great deal!”

 

“That sounds like a start of a threesome,” Makoto pointed out suspiciously.

 

“I am not sharing Makoto,” Haru interjected.

 

“You can’t hog him!” protested Rin.

 

“Watch me!”

 

Rin started to get riled-up so Makoto stepped in, “Now, now, no fighting. Let’s just finish our ramen and head home. I think we all need a good long rest,” Rin and Haru silently agreed to let it go for now.

 

* * *

 

Sunday went by lazily with Rin, Haru and Makoto spending most of the time holed-up in Makoto’s six tatami apartment playing video games and gorging on pizza. Although Rin and Haru did go to the trials to cheer on their teammates. Rin didn’t really have anyone to cheer for but Mikoshiba but Mikoshiba had emphasized to him that appearances mattered and Rin had to at least pretend to care about his teammates. Makoto went with them on sunday evening to see the backstroke and middle and long distance freestyle events. Predictably, Mikoshiba won the 400m freestyle finals in a commanding fashion.

 

“That’s the captain for you,” said Rin proudly, his respect for Mikoshiba had increased a great deal in recent months. Mostly out of gratitude because Mikoshiba had refused to abandon him despite everything, “He’s almost good enough for Gou.”

 

“You should let him know,” said Haru.

 

“I said ALMOST good enough for Gou,” Rin pointed out, “No one is good enough for Gou.”

 

“Poor Gou, she’s going to die an old maid,” replied Haru.

 

“That’s just fine with me!” replied Rin.

 

“I wish we could sit with Makoto,” said Haru, looking towards the stand where Makoto was. Rin agreed but said nothing.

 

Makoto had to get back to work on monday and Rin and Haru had to report back to their dorm. But they were still able to have breakfast together, “What happens now?” wondered Makoto.

 

“Tomorrow or wednesday they will announce the team for the Asian games,” replied Rin, “Those selected will resume training. Those not selected will probably be dropped from the program unless of course they are new to the program and/or are deemed to have potential that can still be developed. I am sure management will take this time to purge their ranks of the ghosts.”

 

“Ghosts?” wondered Makoto, looking concerned.

 

“That’s what they named the swimmers who were caught cheating but weren’t dropped immediately because that would attract attention. Management worked out a deal by which everybody got to save face and they will be quietly purged from the team ranks now, when it won’t be suspicious for a large number of swimmers to no longer be part of the program,” explained Rin.

 

“I suppose that makes sense,” said Makoto, before adding, “Shiori-san said they will be making the announcement for the collaboration with me on thursday. That’s also when they will be announcing the swimmers they are going to feature during Rage On. But the everybody selected to be part of the Asian games will come on stage during Ever Blue. I think Shiori-san said that they will see if any musically inclined swimmers will be up for singing the chorus with me. Problem would be fitting in rehearsals for the show with the amped-up training you guys will no doubt but undergoing in preparation for the games.”

 

“That won’t start until September,” Haru informed Makoto, “We actually won’t even have curfew for the rest of the month.”

 

“This month is all about tuning our bodies. So things like finding and treating any injuries. Making sure our forms are correct and stuff like that. So lots and lots of sports physio, human movement sessions and lots of review sessions. Once they are certain our bodies are tuned-up and our forms are correct, they will push for speed during September,” Rin explained, “But if they keep us under strict curfew from now until October, it’ll be too much. So they will let us be more relaxed this month so they can be very strict with us next month.”

 

“Both of you should be in the team right?” asked Makoto.

 

Rin sighed, “Haru’s in. I am not.”

 

“How can you be sure?” wondered Makoto, surprised.

 

“They only select two swimmers. My only chance is as an alternate,” replied Rin, “But that’s fine. I’ll take it if they select me as an alternate. Especially if they put me in the relay. Relay alternates often get to swim in the heats and quarterfinals. So they can rest the stars and bring them in for the semi-final and final.”

 

“But they won’t drop you from the program will they?” Haru asked suddenly, he had been so caught-up in his own events he hadn’t even realised Rin was in danger of being dropped entirely.

 

“I am 17, just joined the program and came third in the 100m and fourth in the 200m,” said Rin, “That would under normal circumstances be enough to ensure they keep me around and see what they can make of me by the next World Championships in 2015 and perhaps the Olympics in 2016,” Rin explained, “But we all know my record is against me,” Rin sighed again.

 

Haru and Makoto couldn’t think of anything to say. After a while Rin broke the silence with, “Ah never mind. It’s not over yet. I have been thinking about it a lot and worse come to worse, I’ll try and get into a university with an elite swim team and take it from there.”

 

“Hopefully it won’t come to that,” said Makoto.

 

* * *

 

Tuesday was D-day. But to managements credit, they didn’t keep people guessing. Instead, they gathered everybody at 11 AM and announced the team. They would be formally announcing the team to the media at 12 PM and from 1 PM they would be holding meetings with the swimmers who didn’t make the team and were part of the national training program, i.e. drew a stipend from national training program fund, and deciding their future.

 

However, Haru had been pulled away for a private meeting at 10:30 AM. It hadn’t gone for long and Rin hadn’t had a chance to speak to Haru about it afterwards. But Rin didn’t have to speak to Haru to know what the meeting had been about. They wanted to know if Haru would swim the relay or most likely, relays. Rin wondered if Haru said yes.

 

Most of the selections were routine and predictable. The two winners made of each event were selected with the third place finisher being designated the alternate swimmer if either of the swimmers who came 1st and 2nd had to pull out due to injury or something within an allotted time. The alternate for the individual events could only be subbed in before the games started. Only the relay alternates would get to actually join the team at the games.

 

However, there was a surprise in the butterfly selection. “As you know,” the head coach began, “The winners of the 100m butterfly event were Fujii Takuro-san and Kobori Yuki-san. So the selection would be obvious. Unfortunately, Kobori-san has decided not to compete in the 100m,” there were gasps of surprise, with many of the teams turning towards Kobori in wonder.

 

“This is because Kobori-san also qualified for the 200m butterfly, in which he is stronger. He also wishes very much to once again swim in the 4 x 200m freestyle relay, an event he swam in the last Olympics as well as in the World Championships last year. As such, he would like to concentrate on these two events,” explained the the coach, “So the 100 m butterfly swimmers from Japan will be Fujii Takuro-san and Matsuoka Rin-san.”

 

Rin stood in stunned silence at this turn of events. He was going to be part of the team… he was going to be part of the team! He couldn’t believe it! Neither could most of the other swimmers present, many of whom were shooting death glares at Rin. “Congratulations,” Haru said quietly, wearing a small, but precious due to how rare they were, smile that was both happy and relieved.

 

“Congratulations!” came Mikoshiba’s more boisterous wish that was accompanied by a loud thud on his shoulder.

 

“Thanks, Haru,” replied Rin, “Thanks, captain.”

 

The head coach went on with the selections. Finally coming to the part no one had any solid ideas on, the relay selections. Unsurprisingly, the first leg of the 4 x 100 m freestyle, 4 x 200 m freestyle and the anchor leg of 4 x 100 m medley relay would be swam by Haru. Otherwise, the teams consisted of veterans of the 2013 World Championship relay team.

 

“Now for the special announcement,” said the head coach, once he had finished announcing the team, “A bit more than a month ago, I told you that we had entered into a collaborations that would lead give us some much needed positive publicity. Well, I can now tell you that we will be collaborating with, apparently, Nanasa Haruka-san’s best friend, Tachibana Makoto for a special show! We will be featuring eight of our most promising swimmers, one male and one female from each stroke. Plus the whole team will be helping Tachibana-san sing his song Ever Blue, which management had decided to adopt as a sort of anthem for the team.”

 

“What! Not Rage On?” complained one of the veterans, “That’s an awesome song.”

 

“Yes well I am sure Ever Blue is awesome too,” said the head coach placatingly.

 

“Let’s hear it! Sing for us coach!” teased somebody else, one of the other veterans.

 

“Well since Nanase-san is Tachibana-san’s friend, why don’t we hear him sing?” the coach smoothly deflected. He hadn’t actually heard the song, PR told him what they were doing and since it all seemed good, clean fun, the coach had rubber stamped.

 

Everybody turned to Haru. Haru looked away, he considered telling everybody to leave him alone but he didn’t want to create trouble for Makoto. Besides, its not like he didn’t know the song. Makoto had played it for him both live and the demo track for it, and it wasn’t as if Haru couldn’t sing.

 

So sucking in a breath, Haru sang a few bars, “In our connected future, the thing we found, I was able to see with these friends, a scene that I had never seen before (I won’t forget it), More than wins or loses, something more important, You taught that to me didn’t you? The best Ever Blue,” he wanted to stop there but everybody was stilling listening so he tried to do the english chorus of the piece, “I swim for the team, We swim together, I believe in my team, We start from here, I swim for the team, We swim together, I believe in my team, We start from here,” this time Haru did stop.

 

“I like it,” declared Mikoshiba, “Very teamy.”

 

“Kind of cheesy,” said someone else, “I wish we got a more of a rock song like Rage On.”

 

“But Ever Blue is more appropriate for a team,” said the head coach with finality, he had liked what he heard, “You, no we, are Team Japan, in the games you will be competing individually but also together. But your goal is the same, to win glory and acclaim for your country. But remember, winning glory and acclaim is not just about winning. Those who think its just about winning are the ones who brought disgrace upon themselves and put the team in a difficult position not too long ago. Indeed, we are still now cleaning-up the mess they created, while fighting hard to save face. No,” he emphasised, “We want to win and we will win! But we’ll do with without cheating!”

 

Everybody made appropriate sounds of agreement and any swimmers still thought a more rocking song would be better, they kept it to themselves. “Now, for the swimmers who will be featured at the show with a personal montage,” the coach, “The decision was made to feature our rising and young stars. As such, for freestyle it’ll be Nanase Haruka-san, breaststroke will be Seto Daiya-san, backstroke will be Hagino Kosuke-san and butterfly will be,” Rin held his breath, hoping for a second miracle.

 

“If it’s fucking Matsuoka I am so not having anything to do with this,” the remark, spoked in a low whisper just behind Rin’s back was enough to throw a cold water over Rin. So when the coach said it would be Kobori who would be representing butterfly for the men, it hurt only a little.

 

Then again, Rin had known he wouldn’t be in Makoto’s show the moment he had failed to come 1st or 2nd. He had been thrown an unexpected lifeline when Kobori decided he wouldn’t swim the 100 m but it was not situation of his own making and Rin hated it! He hated being at the mercy of the fickle Gods and the cruel universe that could turn on him any minute. But he was not stupid enough to look a gift horse in the mouth. He would do what he could with this opportunity he had been given.

 

As Rin turned to leave he saw Kobori approach Haru, “We better with Nanase,” he said, “I am sick of eating Chinese wake. So give us a lead that blows them out of the water and I along with the our other two teammates will make sure the chinese can’t claw back even a second of the lead you open between us and them,” Haru simply nodded.

 

“Fuck,” thought Rin, “So it was Haru who saved me once again. Allowed me an opportunity to see a sight I haven’t before,” Rin stifled a sigh, not wanting Haru to notice and maybe comment.

 

However, even had Haru noticed, he wouldn’t have had a chance to speak because the head coach approached Rin and said, “Matsuoka, a word in my office if you please?”

 

“Fuck,” Rin thought.

 

* * *

 

The head coach led Rin to his office, which was decorated with various trophies, accolades. There were also some pictures, some very old. Once they entered, the coach left Rin to linger by the door as he went deeper into his office and stood in front of a very old photo. It was of a college swim team.

 

The coach left Rin to sweat for a full minute before he said, “I am not going to lie to you Matsuoka, I was going to drop you from the program.”

 

Rin flinched, he had suspected it but still hear it came as a punch to the guts. He held his tongue however as the coach continued, “Don’t get me wrong. I am not holding the past against you,” no doubt referring to Rin’s antics at the regionals last year, “If I did, I wouldn’t have let you in. I didn’t even hold it again Nanase. He didn’t get in initially because he has a reputation for being unmotivated and temperamental, both of these things he proved to be in the short time he was here but,” the coach finally turned to Rin, “It seems he has found his motivation and a goal, a swimming goal. Nanase Haruka is clearly one of those immensely talented people who can do anything they decide to do and I am… grateful that he has decided to return Japanese freestyle to prominence.”

 

“1952, Matsuoka, that’s the last time we won an Olympics medal in the men’s 100m freestyle,” the coach informed Rin, “We had a gold in the women’s 800m freestyle in this century but the men… even in Asia all we can do is eat chinese and sometimes both chinese and korean wake. But Nanase can change all that.”

 

He looked Rin straight in the face and said, “What can you do?” The coach paused to let Rin answer. Rin couldn’t answer. What could he do?

 

The coach sighed, “In the time you have been here your improvement has been inconsistent. You have made no effort to… integrate yourself into the team, instead, allowing them to grow to hate you,” Rin opened his mouth as if to speak but the coach held up his hand, “I know they have been teasing you from day one but it wasn’t as if you didn’t have opening. You had Mikoshiba and just out of respect for him, most swimmers here who are current students of Samezuka or graduates of Samezuka were ready to give you a chance. You just didn’t take it! As for the others,” the coach looked away.

 

“Despite our crack down, they started giving Nanase a hard time too when he arrived and unlike you, there was no Mikoshiba who had Nanase’s back. Nanase ignored them but he could ignore them and still win them over. All he has to do is swim and people are captivated by him, by the beauty he expresses in the water. You have no such talent,” the coach said bluntly, “You needed to make an effort. You didn’t. I would normally put you as an alternate for the medley relay but I doubt anyone apart from Nanase will be willing to swim with you.”

 

Rin visibly flinched at that. That really, really hurt. But it wasn’t over, “You punched a teammate!” the coach reminded him, “It was pure luck that, Kuza turned out to be a drug cheat and your punch exposed that dark stain that I suspected but couldn’t identify and cleanse. We wouldn’t be having this conversation if fate hadn’t intervened to save you. But you never explained yourself, not to me and not to your teammates. As a result, everybody thinks you are a whore who spread his legs for anyone and anything in Australia,” Rin was a more than a little shocked at how candid the coach was being, “They think you threw a hissy fit, that your anger was unjustified since Kuza just spoke the truth. Were they right?”

 

He would have to say it won’t he. He would have to explain himself. “It wasn’t about what Kuza said about me. It was about the girl…”

 

“Girl?”

 

“That day, Kuza made fun of a student who had killed herself at my old school,” Rin explained, “She… was raped by the breaststroke coach. No one in the school believed her. She killed herself because she couldn’t take it anymore,” Rin swallowed, why didn’t this get any easier, “She was my ex-girlfriend. The abuse started after we broke-up but I still cared about her. Kuza didn’t have any right to say stuff about her. I didn’t care what he said about me.”

 

“Is that why you were in the psych ward?” the coach asked.

 

Rin visibly started, “How did you…”

 

“Your mother told me,” the coach replied frankly.

 

“You know my mother?” now Rin was just shocked.

 

The coach took the college swim team photo off the wall and put it front of Rin, “I was in the same swim team as your father in college and,” he looked Rin straight in the face, “Was in his relay team in Iwatobi Swim Club.”

 

Rin was stunned beyond words, “Second last time I was in Iwatobi,” the coach explained, “I was there to bury my medal from that relay, the relay I swam with your father, in the ground of Iwatobi SC for you to find. It was Tachibana’s idea.”

 

“Ta-Tachibana…”

 

“Makoto’s father,” said the coach indifferently, “He swam breast for us. He kept in touch with your grandmother, so once he found out what you were planning, he got in touch with me and our other teammate and organised for us to bury our medals for you to find.”

 

No… that was not possible! It couldn't be… “But he wasn’t at the funeral!” he would have remembered, surely he would have remembered but there had been so many people… so, so many people…

 

“He wasn’t at the funeral,” the coach said, “I assume you mean your father’s funeral. Neither was I. Tachibana and I were there but we didn’t join the procession or go to the temple. Tachibana has never been good with that sort of thing. So instead we choose to remember your father in our own way,” he looked away, “Did you find our medals?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“You remind me a lot of your father and not in a good way,” the coach said frankly, “He was number 1 in Iwatobi and but was too inconsistent and temperamental to be number 1 in Japan. Forget the world,” he said, looking down on the photo, “He would have a good day and swim personal bests. He would have a bad day and his swimming would suffer. For a long time his natural talent kept him ahead of the rest of the field but by college, natural talent wasn’t enough but you can’t mold a clay that’s hard one minute and soft the next.”

 

“You father got the message during 2nd year of college,” the coach explained, “One of his bad days happen to coincide with a very important tournament. He failed to get past event the heats. He dropped out of the swim team the next day. Shortly after your mother found out she was pregnant, so he dropped out of college and became a fisherman.”

 

He sighed, “I ran into your mother last year here in Tokyo, long before you applied for the national swim program. I think she was here for work, we talked. That’s when she started telling me that you had started swimming again but she wasn’t sure if she was happy or not. Because even though they had seen any reason to keep you in the psych ward, the doctors there had told her that you were clinically depressed,” the coach looked at Rin, who wished a hole would open-up and swallow him whole, “They recommended you be medicated.”

 

“They were quacks!” protested Rin, “I wasn’t… I… I was fine,” the coach didn’t say anything, “My mother shouldn’t have done that. Put me in the psych ward. I got in the car thinking we were just going to drive back to Iwatobi and instead she takes me to an asylum and I literally get dragged inside. Three months before I could convince them I wasn’t… I wasn’t about to kill myself. So they finally let me go and I could… I could start living in the Samezuka dorm,” that’s why he hadn’t returned home, even after he “officially” returned to Japan. He had actually returned to Japan in December but not even Gou had been told that since his mother had been planning to get him check out, afraid he had been molested but was keeping it to himself.

 

The date his mother told Gou he actually returned to Japan on was actually the date he was let go from the hospital. But he had refused to come home. His mother had betrayed him. For months, he had wanted nothing to do with her. Yet with all her lying his mother had told his secrets to the coach? “Was she drunk?”

 

“She was rather more candid than she would normally be,” the coach replied politely. Rin nodded, that explained a lot. The coach sighed, “No matter how I look at it, you are a massive liability, Rin,” first name basis, never a good sign in Rin’s opinion, “For all I know you are going to crash out at the heats. So why should I keep you in the team and not put Kawamura in your place?” asked the coach, “What do you do, Rin?”

 

“I can swim faster than Kawamura,” said Rin with absolute confidence, “I can swim fast enough to win gold for Japan. I know I can. I just…” he faltered.

 

“Have a good day,” suggested the coach a tad mockingly.

 

“No!” said Rin, “I… want to swim for the team too. Because just like Haru, I swim best free for the team as well,” Rin didn’t know if the coach believed him but he meant it. He meant every word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Regarding the Rin stuff, Rin’s father’s old relay mates burying their medal for Rin to find is from High Speed! Rin found it while he, Haru, Makoto and Nagisa were burying their relay trophy. They used Rin’s old lunch box but it was box Rin had been using well past his father’s death. Its never made clear when Rin’s father’s old teammates buried their medal or if Rin actually personally knew any of them. So I decided the head-coach would be one of Rin’s father’s teammates and that one of his other teammates who remained locally, heard from Rin’s mother that Rin was planning to move to Australia for training and transferring to Iwatobi Elementary and joining Iwatobi SC to try and make a relay team and do what his father did with romantic notions of burying the trophy he was sure to win and decided to organise the little surprise for Rin. Why I decided the local teammate would be Makoto’s father is… why not!
> 
> Now for the speculation, Rin seems to have finished grade 10 in Australia before moving back to Japan. This makes sense because grade 11 and 12 are the “senior” school in Australia (while Japan seems to consider grade 10, 11 and 12 as the senior block) and if Rin didn’t intend to go to university in Australia, it would make sense for him to move back after grade 10. But the thing is, the school year finishes end of November for grade 10. But according to Gou, Rin flew back to Japan in March and went straight to the dorm, which is odd in itself. Why wouldn’t he return to his mother’s house and spend the month before the school year started in Japan (April). But whichever way you look at it, there is a gap of 3-4 months between when Rin would be done with school in Australia and when we saw him episode 1 in Free! What was he doing? I decided to put him in a psych ward because… Rin’s tears are delicious! (I am sorry!)
> 
> As for the swimming stuff, I went off Japan’s participation list in this years Swimming World Championships and Kobori Yuki was a swimmer in Team Japan in 100m and 200m butterfly. He performed way better in 200m than the 100m. So to get Rin on the team, I made him concentrate on the 200m butterfly and yes the 4 x freestyle relay. Team Japan came 5th in the 4 x 200m relay in the worlds and 9th in the 2012 Olympics. I figured that once they put Haru in the relay, any past relay members who swam their heart out for the team only to fall short would want to be part of a team that was most likely going to blitz because Haru’s amazing. Well that was my reasoning anyway. Hope it was believable! 
> 
> Also, yes, poor Kobori (and team Japan) did eat a lot of Chinese wake in the 4 x 200m freestyle relay. 2010 Asian games Japan got silver while China got gold. 2012 Japan came 9th while China got bronze, 2013 World Japan came 5th while China got bronze. So I imagine he would be out for vengeance with Haru in the team. Well hopefully that was believable too… *sigh* Writing this stuff is hard!
> 
> Lastly, Seto Daiya and are medley medal winners. But they Seto won Japan’s only gold last championship and Hagino Kosuke is something of a superstar in Japanese swimming. Both are under the age of 21. So I figured they would get assigned a stroke and put in Makoto’s show.
> 
> PS. Sorry for the 600+ word author’s notes… so sorry!


	29. Chapter 29

“No!” said Rin, “I… want to swim for the team too. Because just like Haru, I swim best free for the team as well,” Rin didn’t know if the coach believed him but he meant it. He meant every word.

 

“I don’t believe you,” replied the coach frankly. Rin flinched, “Or rather I don’t think you want to swim for the team you have or maybe it was something more basic than that. Maybe you don’t consider yourself part of the team the rest of us think you belong to. Maybe you are an idealist who wants an ideal team. Maybe you got the ideal team once and therefore alway want the your team, the team you can swim best for, to meet some sort of ideal.”

 

It was funny how hearing it from another person, even if the other person was just guessing wildly, made Rin understand the truth of his situation. He is an idealist and yes, he wants to be part of the ideal team. That’s why he left Sano swim club. He could have formed or joined a relay team in Sano. Swam with Sousuke, his childhood companion from Sano swim club. The one who was like family to him. But he didn’t because that would have been settling. He wanted to form the best team, a team based on an ideal he couldn’t even fully define and he found it in Iwatobi swim club. Found it in Makoto, Nagisa and Haru. He had been in the team that met his lofty ideals and now everything else was settling. He didn’t want to settle.

 

“You are right,” he finally said, “I am an idealist and… I want to be part of an ideal team. But that doesn’t mean I want the entire team to be ideal. The team, Team Japan, Team Samezuka they are all too big. They will never meet my ideal. But that’s okay,” Rin insisted, “I will still swim best for team Japan. Big, imperfect and less than ideal though it is. As for the ideal team,” Rin looked the coach fully in the face, “I will create it. You said there aren’t enough swimmers who would want to swim the relay with me. That’s fine, I don’t want to swim with them either. I don’t want to swim with just any relay team but the best relay team after my ideals. All I ask is that you give me a chance to create such a team by allowing me to be part of Team Japan for the Asian games,” Rin bowed his head, “Please.”

 

The coach sighed, “I will leave you in the team for now. But in the very least I expect you to be consistent. Without consistency. Your goals and ideals are meaningless,” to this Rin had nothing to say. He was dismissed.

 

“Rin?” Haru was waiting for him outside the coaches office.

 

Rin forced a smile, “It’s fine. Everything is fine,” everything wasn’t fine exactly but Rin wasn’t wallowing in despair or feeling like he was lost in a dark tunnel with no light at the end. So for now, that was good enough.

 

* * *

 

They didn’t have anything to do for the rest of the day. So Haru headed for Makoto’s apartment. He had asked Rin if he wanted to tag along and give Makoto his big news in person. Rin had declined or rather Rin told Haru he would join them later. He wanted some time to himself. To gather himself. Afterall, the meeting with the coach had been a massive information dump that had at times left him reeling.

 

The coach had known his father. The coach had been part of his father’s relay team. The coach knew that Rin had been locked-up in a psychiatric hospital for close to three months because his well meaning but idiotic mother had not believed him when Rin had told her he was fine.

 

Probably because he wasn’t fine, not exactly but his mental state had, had nothing to do with being “touched” because he hadn’t been sexual abused. But no one freaking believed him. He admitted to being upset about Anne’s death, he told them he had hit a wall with his swimming, he told them he had been lonely in Australia and was messed-up largely due to his inability find joy in swimming like he used to but all they wanted to know was who touched him, when and how. It had taken him three months to convince the doctors that he wasn’t lying when he said he hadn’t been sexual abused.

 

The doctors did diagnose him with depression and suggested further talk therapy and perhaps some mild medication but damned if Rin was ever setting foot inside the psychiatric or a psychologist office ever again! Like seriously, why was it so hard to convince people he wasn’t sexually abused? Or for that matter, abused period. He had been a bit isolated in Australia that was for sure but nothing that happened to him remotely approached the sphere of abuse. He even had a group of friends with whom he did stuff from time to time. He had plenty of happy memories of doing stuff with them like going to beach, going hiking, attending live cooking shows and even a few naughty things like bluffing their way into nightclubs and stuff.

 

He had been depressed, however, and everything he did, even the fun things, were done from under a cloud of depression. But he didn’t become depressed because he had been abused. No, his depression was because… “I am not Haru,” he said out loud into the empty room. Rin sighed, he was getting depressed again.

 

As if on cue, his phone rang. It was Nitori. Rin was tempted to ignore it but he got the impression that Nitori might not stop calling him until they spoke. So he answered, “Congratulations Rin-senpai!” came Nitori’s enthusiastic voice as soon as Rin had finished greeting him, “You made the team!” Nitori added seemingly redundantly.

 

“How the hell did you find out?” so far Rin had only told his mother, feeling that after all she had done for him, she needed to be the first person he told. Even if he was a little miffed at her at the moment for revealing his hospitalisation to a veritable stranger in the form of the head coach of the national team of Japan.

 

“Your mother texted Gou-chan. Gou-chan told Nagisa-kun, Nagisa-Kun texted me!” explained Nitori.

 

“I finished speaking to my mother twenty minutes ago,” said Rin, marvelling slight, “The Iwatobi phone tree is really something.”

 

“Phone tree?” wondered Nitori.

 

“Never mind, its just something I saw in a movie once,” replied Rin.

 

“Ah okay,” said Nitori, “How have you been otherwise, Rin-senpai? Is Tachibana-san taking good care of you? Captain Mikoshiba said he would try and get you out and about more if Tachibana-san wasn’t doing his job. But I suppose all of you have been every busy. Tachibana-san with his single release, you and Captain Mikoshiba with the trials,” Nitori answered his own question, before adding, “But maybe now you’ll have a chance to relax a bit before the intense competition preparation start! I hope you…”

 

“Nitori,” Rin suddenly cut in.

 

“Yes senpai,” Nitori replied.

 

“Why didn’t you ignore me?” Rin wondered, “Why did you try to befriend me from day one? I wasn’t anything but rough and mean towards you, from our very first meeting,” Rin had no doubt he had been wearing some pretty scary expressions when he first met Nitori. He had misunderstood what Nitori was asking when Nitori had wondered if Rin preferred top or bottom. To this day Rin did not know why his mind went straight to the gutter when bunk bed stood behind Nitori and it should have been obvious that Nitori was asking about his bunk preference.

 

There was a pause before Nitori explained, “You were my role model. Had been seen I saw you swim that wonderful relay in elementary school. I…” Nitori continued in a deeply affected voice, “I was just so happy to have you in my life! How could I even think of ignoring you?”

 

Rin was a little surprised, “I was your role model?” he wondered, “Because of the relay?” a thought occurred to him, “Oh I see, you mean we became your role models. All four of us.”

 

“No! Just you! I mean,” Nitori clarified, “I admire all of you. But I really admire senpai, always have! You were my role model, just you.”

 

“Because of how I swam?” asked Rin, wonder if his swimming that day truly had been that extraordinary. Because when he remembered that day, he remembered having fun, really enjoying swimming and he remembered Haru. Hau and how amazing Haru had been.

 

“Because of who you are,” Nitori clarified. Rin was startled into silence. After a pause Nitori continued, “I am an only child. I never had a brother or sister. I lived alone with my mom and dad who thought of me as the most precious thing in the universe. They were told they couldn’t have children you see,” Nitori explained, “But then by some miracle they had me and they had me pretty late in their lives too! My mom thought she was hitting menopause when she actually was pregnant!” he said with giggle.

 

“I guess I had a very high opinion of myself when I went to school but my schoolmates quickly showed me how much of a trash I really was. I wasn’t very smart and didn’t seem to be good in any sports I tried until I got in the water. So my parents encouraged me to join a local swim club. I wasn’t the fastest swimmer in the club but I was just good enough to attract some friends, friends who allowed me to join their relay team. My team was nothing like your team, senpai,” Nitori assured him, “We never stood a chance but swimming with them was still one of my most precious memories but most precious of them all was seeing you swim with your team. You seemed so happy! Your smile senpai, I can never forget your smile or how you just seem to belong! I have never belonged like that anywhere outside of my family!” explained Nitori, “So I, started to really admire you.”

 

Rin didn’t know what to say. But that was okay because Nitori wasn’t done, “When I got to middle school, I was classmates with a club mate of yours from Sano. He told me how your father had died and that you were studying abroad, party to get better swimming training. That made me admire you even more! I couldn’t imagine leaving my family, going to a foreign country, away from the handful of friends I did have and living by myself. There was just no limits to how amazing you were!” said Nitori, before adding earnestly, “How amazing you are!”

 

“I didn’t think I could do it! Until…” Nitori’s voice dropped, “Until I had to,” he whispered.

 

“Wha… what do you mean?” asked Rin.

 

“My parents died when I was in middle school,” he said, Rin started, but then again, he had never bothered to ask Nitori about his personal life. Not even after he had told Nitori about his father, “They had been visiting my uncle. On their way home they had a headon collision with a truck whose driver had fallen asleep at the wheels. They died instantly,” Nitori explained, “Suddenly, my whole world collapsed and I was left with nothing.”

 

“Is… is that why you had your umbilical cord in your dorm room?” why was he asking this question of all the questions he could be asking? Yet it was an important question. What had Rin said to Nitori back then? “Keep stuff like that at home,” Rin had said back then. Why had it not occurred to Rin back then that Nitori might not have had a home to leave stuff like that in.

 

Nitori laughed, “I was a terrible roommate wasn’t it,” he said self deprecatingly, “After my parents died, I went to live with my uncle. My uncle was pretty old and I always felt as I as a burden to him,” Nitori said sadly.

“It wasn’t about the money,” Nitori clarified, “My parents had a generous life insurance plan that ensured I would never be a financial burden on anyone. It was more the little things. Like my uncle being unable to sell his house and move in with his eldest son like he had been planning or not being able to go see his daughter down south as often as he wanted to because he wasn’t comfortable leaving me alone. That’s why I choose to go to a school with a dorm and take everything that belong to me with me to my tiny room,” he said with a laugh, “I am a really gross roommate aren’t I?”

 

“Nitori…” Rin started but this time it was Nitori who cut him off.

 

“You saved me Senpai,” said Nitori, “At least the memory of your smile saved me. After my parent died, I didn’t think I would ever smile again. Ever be happy or feel a good feeling ever again!” Nitori explained, “But then I would remember your smile and it was like the light at the end of the tunnel. It made me realise that, it will get better! That I will smile again and so, so I’ll always be grateful to you, senpai! Always!”

 

Silence, there was nothing but silence on Rin’s side of the line, “Senpai?” asked Nitori tentatively.

 

“Ai,” Rin finally said “Tell Nagisa to take good care of you or I’ll kick his ass!” It was the best Rin could do. It was pathetic but it made Nitori very happy.

 

“I will!” he said, all joy and enthusiasm, “But Nagisa-kun is a really great boyfriend! He’s so much fun! And his family is so nice and accepting. They didn’t even bat an eyelash when we told them we were dating. Nagisa-kun’s father just said, I suppose it comes of your sisters dressing you up in girls clothes when you were younger. But he looks strong, so that’s okay,” Nitori explained, “Nagisa-kun’s sisters are pretty great too! We do yoga with them, well the two that live in Iwatobi anyway, a lot and Rei-kun is very nice as well. I feel like I have gained a huge big family with older sisters and even a brother in Rei-kun and I am just starting to date Nagisa-kun!”

 

“That’s great,” it was, it really was. Nitori was happy, happier than Rin would have ever hoped to have made him even had he been interested and they started dating. As for Rin, “I think I am going to confess to Makoto,” he said, suddenly coming to a decision, “Once I win the 100m butterfly.”

 

“Wi… win the butterfly…” started Nitori before realising how he might be sounding and quickly adding, “I mean, of course you can win the butterfly! I mean, the Chinese…”

 

“It’s okay,” Rin interjected, “I know I came third in the trials and only made it into the team by a small miracle. I have already been told by the head coach that I am not Haru and so am not expected to blitz the field and make everybody eat my wake. But you know what, that’s okay. I don’t have to blitz the field and make everybody eat my wake. I don’t have to be Haru. I just have to be one stroke ahead of everybody else and that’ll be enough. Enough for the gold and maybe enough for Makoto too. So,” Rin said with a grin, “Wish me luck!”

 

Rin could near Nitori smile, “Good luck Senpai! I’ll be cheering for you!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this came out well. I originally intended to have Rin wallow in self loathing for a while and maybe use the fact he wasn’t swimming in makoto’s show as a even more of a kick in the guts to taste delicious, delicious Rin tears. (I am sorry!) But apparently there has been a lot of hate for Nitori lately since he appeared in the New Years shrine visit official art besides Rin. Like a lot of people want Nitori dropped from the series or at least no more moments that could be considered “RinTori”. I don’t like Nitori much and I certainly don’t ship RinTori but I thought it was very wrong to downgrade Nitori’s importance in Rin’s life. So I thought, I’ll use Nitori to cheer Rin-up and cut him a break!
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Now about the Nitori stuff, in the record FrFr! episode that shows a week in the life of Rin and Nitori as dorm mates. Namly Nitori is messy while Rin is neat and tidy. But interestingly, Nitori had a bit of his umbilical cord in the dorm with him. Obviously his parents saved the umbilical cord and its not something you bring with you to school. So I thought, what if Nitori has his whole world with him in the dorm, including souvenirs his parents saved out of the love they felt for Nitori because he doesn’t have a home anymore, i.e. his parents are dead…. might also explain why he bonds with Rin so much. (I am so sorry!)
> 
> Also, Nitori considering Rin a role model is from the Free! Drama CD 2. I don’t know if anyone really cares about these references I put in the author’s note but I got in the habit of doing it while in the Tolkien fandom. So please bear with me.


	30. Chapter 30

There was something comforting about standing at the edge of a pool in his familiar green and black leggings. But of course, the atmosphere in the aquatic centre was nothing like Makoto had ever experienced and it wasn’t even filled yet. But it was going to be packed! Even his own agency was surprised how quickly the tickets to his debut show sold out! Not only that but there was some serious price gouging going on with some people reselling their tickets or extra tickets for 3 times the sale value and the show wasn’t even going to be that long!

 

Makoto felt overwhelmed and scared! What if they all hated it? What if his voice cracked? What if… “Mako-chan!” he was glomped from behind by Nagisa, “I missed you!!!!” nuzzling his face into Makoto’s broad back, “And your sexy back!”

 

“Nagisa, you are making your boyfriend jealous,” commented Rin absently as he came up with Nitori, Haru, Rei and Rei’s girlfriend Minori Megumi.

 

“Ai-chan knows Mako-chan belongs to Haru-chan,” said Nagisa.

 

“You mean he belongs to Rin-senpai,” Nitori chimed in.

 

Nagisa ignored that and continued, “I am just admiring and missing Mako-chan’s back in a younger brother sort of way.”

 

“As the only person with an old brother here,” stated Rei, “I must inform you, Nagisa-kun, that younger brother’s do not admire their older brother’s back. Certainly not by nuzzling their face into it.”

 

“Ah? How boring!” said Nagisa.

 

Makoto laughed as both Rin and Haru blushed, still not used to Nagisa and Nitori casually fighting over Makoto for them. “I am glad you guys could make it,” Makoto told them, smiling softly.

 

Something in Makoto’s tone caught Haru’s attention but before he could put his thoughts into words, which was extra difficult with so many people around, Megumi stepped forward with a bento box, while Rei had a flask, “Umm… we made some easy to digest but really high GI pre-show snacks for you,” Megumi said.

 

Rei nodded, “We carefully calculated the energy you would need based on your physical parameters and research we did on calorie burn for a show like this and devised the ideal snack and drink that will load you with energy but won’t make you lethargic or weigh you down .”

 

Megumi nodded, “But we had to estimate your rate of metabolism as we didn’t have proper data on that,” she explained, “We also had to guess at any dance routines you might be doing since we didn’t know if you would be dancing or not. Just that you would be swimming and singing. But we built in a margin of error when devising the optimum portion and…” she held up the bento, “You should eat about half this bento now and half just before you go on stage!”

 

“Ah, thanks,” said Makoto, come to think of it, he was hungry. Due to scheduling issues, they couldn’t have too many rehearsal with the swimmers from the National Team until that morning. Swimming management would only give them one day off totally from training.

 

End result was that this morning had been the first time the swimmers and Makoto had been able to rehearse Ever Blue, the shows final number, together. Then they did a dress rehearsal in the afternoon. It was evening now and the show would be starting in a couple of hour at 9 PM. Makoto hadn’t had a lot of chances to eat.

 

So Makoto promptly opened-up the bento and started eating, “Its very tasty,” said Makoto honestly.

 

“What’s in it?” wondered Rin.

 

“Various kinds of nuts, seeds, grains with a healthy dose of dark chocolate,” replied Megumi grinning, “The flask has chunky fruits smoothie! It was Rei-kun’s idea,” she said beaming.

 

Rei beamed back, “But it was your idea to make and bring special snacks for Makoto-senpai.”

 

“O but I only got the idea after Hazuki-kun lamented that Tachibana-kun would probably not be eating properly because he’s on his own and even Nanase-kun was too busy to cook for him now,” she said smiling at Nagisa.

 

“I am going to be sick,” said Rin, “Are you guys always this teeth rotting?”

 

“Ignore grumpy Rinrin!” said Nagisa, “But it’s true! Mako-chan is like me! Totally crap at cooking and living healthy and taking care of himself! That’s why Haru-chan is perfect for him!”

 

“Rin-senpai would make a good husband too!” protested Nitori.

 

Makoto laughed, “Guys, guys, I might not be as amazing as Haru and Rin in the kitchen but I am no longer totally helpless,” He assured them, “Besides, I would hate for anyone to be with either Rin or Haru just because they can cook and take care of their partner. If I am with Haru I would be with Haru because he’s the type to give himself over completely to his other half. I would be with Haru because I would know that Haru wouldn’t think I am coming on too strongly for wanting a deep, strong bond with him… I mean we already have a deep, strong bond and if we were romantic, it would just be another layer on top of us being childhood friends, best friends and we would really be everything to each other and I wouldn’t be able to live without him,” Makoto explain.

 

“Makoto…” whispered Haru.

 

“Marry Haru-chan already!” declared Nagisa.

 

“What about Rin-senpai?” jumped in Nitori, not liking how Rin’s face fell as Makoto listed reasons why he would be with Haru.

 

Makoto didn’t answer immediately. Nitori was distressed as Rin’s face fell further, “It’s…” Rin started to say.

 

“I would be with Rin because he would be a supportive but independent at the same time,” it seems Makoto was just thinking, “It’s a hard thing to pull-off but if Rin was with me, I would know he was with me because he wants to, not because he needs to. If that makes sense.”

 

“That doesn’t make sense!” complained Nagisa, “You want to be with them for different reasons!!! So what is it that you actually want out your partner?”

 

“Ah… well… someone who loves me as deeply as I love them?” offered Makoto.

 

“I think that’s very sensible,” interjected Megumi, “People are different right. You can’t be with one person for the same reasons you are with someone else. But as long as they love you as much as you love them, you have a good foundation to build your life around.”

 

Rei nodded, “Exactly! I mean, Nitori-kun was in love with Rin-san but now he’s with Nagisa-kun. But I am sure Nitori-kun doesn’t love Nagisa-kun for the same reasons he loved Rin-san.”

 

“Why am I being used as an example?” wondered Rin, “Also, how close have you lot gotten that you all seem to know Nitori had a crush on me?”

 

Before anyone could answer, Nagisa jumped in with, “So why do you love me Ai-chan?” wondered Nagisa, looking at Nitori with impossibly big eyes filled with curiosity.

 

“Na… Nagisa-kun is fun. When I am with Nagisa-kun, I feel all warm and fuzzy! I… Nagisa-kun makes me very happy!” said Nitori, blushing so red that Rin began to wonder if spontaneous human combustion was an actual thing.

 

“Awwww! That’s so sweet!” said Nagisa as he hugged his boyfriend, “That’s why I love Ai-chan! He’s cute and sweet like strawberry short cake!”

 

“So shallow,” said Rei in the background.

 

“I wouldn’t say anything, Mr. I-am-with-you-because-you-are-beautiful,” whispered Megumi.

 

“I said it was because you were beautiful inside and out!” protested Rei.

 

“It’s okay, I have already come to terms with being dumped if I ever get fat,” replied Megumi.

 

“I wouldn’t dump you for getting fat!” protested Rei, everybody present gave him sceptical looks, “I AM NOT THAT SHALLOW!”

 

“It’s okay Megu-chan,” said Nagisa, “If Rei-chan dumps you, I would totally find you are better boyfriend. Like Rin-chan!”

 

“Hey!” objected Rin as Rei tried to murder Nagisa with his looks.

 

“I don’t know if I would be okay dating Gou-san’s brother,” replied Megumi good naturedly, “I mean, if I mess-up I would earn the wrath of Matsuoka Gou! She’s so terrifying!”

 

“Stop going along with this!” Rei said to Megumi before turning to Nagisa, “And you stop using my girlfriend to secure your ship! If you want to get Rin-san off the market, so to speak, find some other girl or boy to throw in his path!”

 

“Will you all stop discussing my love life as if I am not here!” yelled Rin.

 

“You are right!” agreed Nagisa, “Let’s discuss Mako-chan and Haru-chan’s love…” that’s when they noticed that Makoto and Haru were not there anymore.

 

* * *

 

“I want to kiss Makoto,” thought Haru, as Makoto concluded his reasons for why he would be in a romantic relationship with Haru but now was not the time for confessions. Makoto had his concert and Haru had the games. But after the games, Haru had promised himself, he would tell Makoto everything and they would work together to find a way to always be together.

 

So for now, Haru thought of unromantic thoughts as a way of dousing his desire to jump Makoto. Occupied with his own thoughts, the normally perceptive Haru missed Rin’s reactions and only half heard Makoto’s reasons for why he might date Rin. It wasn’t of any concern, even if Haru felt a bit jealous but then again, Haru was even jealous of Makoto’s ‘sweetheart’ back in Iwatobi and she was a cat! But as pre-occupied as Haru was, he didn’t fail to notice Nagisa becoming the centre of attention and thus leaving him and Makoto relatively ignored.

 

Haru took his chance. Grabbing Makoto’s hand to silently draw his attention, Haru communicated his desire just with his eyes. Makoto understood, nodding he slipped away with Haru. Fans were lining up outside to be let in, swimmers from the national team filled sections of the stands assigned to them from where they would be able to easily slip down to the poolside for the big finally number. Various people involved with the production filled the aquatic centre otherwise, busy doing last minute checks, making sure everything was okay. So it took a while for Makoto and Haru to find a quiet place for themselves. It ended-up being the locker room, which were conveniently empty at the moment.

 

“This is kind of weird,” commented Makoto with a laugh.

 

Haru shrugged and got to the point, “Why are you so worried?”

 

“Well this is a big show,” whispered Makoto, marvelling at how Haru knew, just knew, that Makoto was, quite frankly, scared, “If I mess-up, its over! I don’t think I’ll get a second chance!”

 

Haru considered bringing-up Makoto’s debut single sales figures, his profile as a model and other things but decided he didn’t know enough about the entertainment industry to make comments on those things. So he spoke on a topic he knew a lot about, Makoto himself. “Makoto, you know what makes you great?”

 

“My sexy body?” joked Makoto, “Well I guess I could start stripping if my voice fails,” he added with a grin.

 

“Absolutely not!” said Haru, utterly seriously, “No stipping!”

 

“I am just joking!” said Makoto placatingly, realising he had somehow transgressed against Haru’s jealous streak.

 

Haru let out a deep breath, “Don’t joke about things like that,” Haru said sternly. There was a pause before Haru continued, “Makoto your strength is people. You don’t even try to go through life alone, suffering needlessly in stupid attempts to be strong by being alone. But you are strong and everybody loves you. They all want to help you. So… lots of people have come together to make this show happen for you and you’ll do fine because so many people helped you. You aren’t doing your best for just yourself. You are doing best for everybody who helped you and your fans who are ready to love you. So…” further words died in his throat as he was smashed against Makoto’s broad, firm and warm chest.

 

Makoto hugged Haru, “Thank you Haru-chan! You always put my mind at ease,” what was he worried about anyway? When all these people were helping and supporting him. He would do his best for everybody because doing this best for everybody brought him strenght. But still, “You are still my greatest strength Haru. Without you, it's meaningless,” because despite everything that had happened, everything that changed, one thing remained the same, Makoto was doing this because of Haru, because he wanted to be with Haru forev…

 

“Mako-chan, Haru-chan, are you doing H stuff in there or can we come in?” asked Nagisa from the otherwise of the door, “If you are doing H stuff, just let us know and we’ll totally go away!”

 

“They are not doing hentai stuff and we aren’t leaving!” came Rin’s voice.

 

“Woo! Rin-chan want’s to join in! I guess Rin-chan supports Marinka!” said Nagisa.

 

“Who the fuck in Marinka and why would I support… whoever this person is?”

 

“Oh, that’s the ship name for the threesome pairing of you, Nanase-san and Tachibana-san!” chimed in Nitori, “They write great smu… I mean, you know if you can’t choo… I mean, ah, senpai is perfect in all relationship types!”

 

“I… don’t know what to say to that…” replied Rin honestly.

 

“Well I know what to say to that,” it was Shiori, inside the locker room, Makoto groaned and buried his face more into Haru’s neck, wishing the ground would just open-up and shallow both him and Haru, because the dark hole would be too scary without Haru, just to escape this embarrassing situation.

 

Alas! No spontaneous holes formed underneath Makoto and haru as Shiori continued, “Only ‘ship’ Makoto is allowed to be on right now is MakoFan ship. Now,” she threw open the door, “Move 1m away from each other and maintain that respectable Japanese distance from each other at all times!” Haru was ready to be defiant and hug Makoto even tighter but Makoto decided to comply if only to put an end to this embarrassing scenario.

 

* * *

 

It was nearly show time, the nervous energy that had been permeating the air had intensified and it was not joined by the anticipation of the crowd, many of whom had been waiting to be let in for hours! Any last minute panic attacks Makoto considered having, including vomiting out the delicious snack bars Rei and his girlfriend Megumi made had to be put on hold because, “It’s time!” there was no time. Well, he’ll just have to have the panic attack and puke out the contents of his stomach after the show.

 

Up on the stands, Rei, Nagisa, Nitori, Megumi, who were now joined by Gou and her friend Hanamura Chigusa, “It’s starting!” Nagisa said redundantly as the centre’s lights began to dim.

 

“I am glad we weren’t so that that we missed the opening,” said Gou, she and Chigusa had first gotten caught in Tokyo rush hour and then lost getting to the aquatic centre from the train station.

 

“But we are here now,” replied Chigusa, “I hope Tachibana-senpai does well!”

 

Further conversation was cut-off when the dimming lights went out completely. There was a pause just long enough to get everybody to quieten down before a single spotlight appeared to reveal Makoto walking to the starting blocks. There was a smattering of claps and cheers but most simply held their breath in anticipation.

There was the familiar, at least for Makoto, beep that indicated he should get into position, which he promptly did. Then there was the familiar, ready, set and followed by the signal to go. Makoto dived and just as he hit the water with a splash the spotlight cut-off.

 

“No way!” cried Nagisa, as other panicked murmurs started to fill the aquatic center, “They wouldn’t make Mako-chan swim in total darkness! That’s dangerous! There must be a malfunction!”

 

“I am pretty sure that was planned,” interjected Rei, “look, there are little lights just under the water and string of lights hanging over head similar to the backstroke marker flags,” and there were, but they were too dim for the majority of the audience to make anything out but would be enough to guide Makoto to wherever he needed to go.

 

Suddenly the spotlight returned but now it illuminated the stage, namely a small trap door at the centre of the stage that opened into the water. Makoto emerged from the trap door and using his powerful arms to leverage himself out of the water. In the big screen, which is how most of the audience was getting a close-up of Makoto, every flex of his muscles seemed to be highlighted, almost inviting the audience to ogle and ogle they did, cheering loudly.

 

Finally Makoto approached the microphone on the stage as the trap door closed behind him, ignored and unseen by all except the most keen-eyed of the audience. And then,

 

Days confusion ever free

come through my heart

Heading for that moment when I will look away

 

The band started playing, who were in a stage built into the stands where a section of seating had been sacrificed to make way for the band’s stage. The song, Rage On, continued as on the big screen not only Makoto was featured by also clips from past team Japan successes in a magnificently edited sequence that seamlessly blended live shot’s of Makoto’s performance with the archival footage thought the magic of picture-in-picture. Finally, as the song approaches its also stanza, the footage of Japanese swimming turns to the Asian games.

 

As the aquatic centre filled with the colours of autumn the footage showed the Seto Daiya winning the Asian game trials for the backstroke and his named was announced. He walked to blocks that faced Makoto’s stage and got into the back stroke position and dived, starting to swim leisurely as the light in the aquatic centre changed to winter colours.

 

On the big screen the footage had changed to Hagino Kosuke winning breaststroke events, as Seto Daiya touched the wall on the other side, Hagino Kosuke dived in. As he was diving his name was announced. He too swam leisurely, easily being able to pace himself to time specified for him to make the distance to keep time with the both the song and the big screen display.

 

Half way, the colours in the aquatic centre change to pink of cherry blossom, heralding the coming of spring. Standing with the other swimmers, Rin turned away, unable to look on, to watch another swimmer swim the butterfly, knowing as he did, that this was meant for him. Because it was he who had wanted to swim in a pool full of cherry blossoms as a child and Makoto had made it happen in his PV. Would have made it happen again if only Rin had been good enough, good enough to win. Instead, he heard Kobori Yuki’s name be called and knew the former and most likely future Olympian had dived in and started his leg.

 

Rage on, dazzling light

Heading for that moment when I will look away swiftly

the sun is blazing on my armor

 

The light in the stadium started to shift to summer hues, as the footage started to show Haru’s record breaking swims and Kobori got to the end of this lap.

 

I don’t have time to look back on your mark,

it’s too late to turn back

 

“Nanase Haruka,” announced the big booming announcers voice.

 

“get set” resonates, go!

 

A deafening cheer went through the stands as the song ended with Haru swimming…

 

_“Haruka’s head rises to the surface. He commences the strokes from there. A catch that seems to embrace closely. A kick that bends softly with elegance. A rolling that seems to flow. Then, from that peaceful form, a high speed that can’t even be imagined._

 

_The sight that transcended reality fascinated and didn’t let go of not only Rin, but everyone watching. No, they’re not watching. They’re feeling it. No one here could have possibly kept from feeling the heatedly throbbing beat.” - Chapter 7, High Speed_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of the romantic things mentioned in this chapter came from the November Newtype magazine which featured character horoscopes. I used the translation of the horoscopes found [here](http://great-blaster.tumblr.com/post/64119491081) but basically, it went into some detail about what the characters looked for in a partner and what they brought to the table. Makoto and Haru also had a “star compatibility” thing that basically talked about how perfect they were for each other. Rin’s “star compatibility” was with Rei, so that was a bit tricky. The High Speed! translation I used in this chapter comes from [here](http://janeypeixes.tumblr.com/post/57554376477) I was going to write more but this seemed like a good place to stop.


	31. Chapter 31

As Haru completed his swim, Makoto made as seamless as possible translation into singing Catal Rhythm, another song set to rock n roll beat that had everybody jumping in the stands as Makoto’s powerful voice rang out.

 

“Mako-chan is so good!” said Nagisa.

 

“Beautiful, absolutely beautiful!” Rei chimed in.

 

“No wonder senpai loves him so much!” added Nitori. Megumi, Gou and Chigusa were too busy trying to sing along to add to the boys conversation.

 

The song wrapped-up to thunderous applause. As instructed by his stage coach, Makoto let it go for a moment before trying to speak, “Good evening everybody, thank you for coming to my show. I hope you have been enjoying yourself so far,” more applause to indicate that the audience had been enjoying themselves, “I would like to give special thanks to to the National Swimming team for joining me tonight,” more applause, “Swimming is very important to me. I have been swimming since I was a child. I have always swam with my bestfriend, Nanase Haruka who you saw before,” loud cheering and applause, “I am sure, Haru and his new teammates will do amazing things in the upcoming Asian games,” cheers, “But even as both Haru and I move on to new waters, I am sure we’ll both remember the sea breeze of our hometown of Iwatobi, that’s nurtured our friendship and so I wrote this next song about our seabreeze friendship,” and which that Makoto started singing a much slower, somewhat cheesy pop song but who could not enjoy it after hearing Makoto’s heartfelt words.

 

As the song wrapped-up, Makoto launched into another. A beautiful love song sang with dulcet tones that the programme identified as Towayuki. “Yes! One point for Makoharu!” yelled Nagisa, “Straight after friendship comes romance!”

 

“That could totally be aimed at senpai!” said Nitori.

 

“Dream on!”

 

“Not the time you two!” Rei tried to defuse the situation before it escalated. Nagisa and Nitori let themselves get washed away by the lyrics, finding themselves holding hands as Makoto’s voice soothed them like a big warm hug.

 

The song wrap-up to cheers, Makoto’s audience mesmerised by the range of his vocals. Rock to pop to ballad. “Thank you,” said Makoto, “I have just two more songs left,” there were cries of no, with some cries of encore and more, but Makoto pressed on, “I didn’t write this next song but every time I sing it, I think of another friend of mine. He’s also part of the National Swimming team and he will be swimming the butterfly for Japan. So let me dedicate this next song Matsuoka Rin as part of my wish that he’ll always keep walking forward towards his dream,” and so Makoto started singing the song titled Walk.

 

Wake up, I’ve failed again, attempting to whisper back

Do you have the same dream every night?

Connecting the trembling time

 

Yes, that’s right, bet everything you have

Rushing out to the place where we will have our battle

You can believe it

That’s the way it has to be

 

To win or not, what is its worth, the meaning behind it

There’s nowhere I’ve so deeply faded away

I get the feeling that there’s many more things that I’ve lost sight of

Blink when you realize about the miracle

 

Rin had been stunned to suddenly have his name mentioned and a whole song dedicated to him. He had expected Makoto mentioning Haru and singing for him but Makoto was also dedicating a song to him. A strangely appropriate song given the lyrics. Rin found himself smiling as everybody started or at least attempted to sing along to the rocking song.

 

Even if you have regrets, nothing is going to start

Thinking too much and letting the chance of today slip away

Let it all clear out

That’s the way that it should be

To find a word I can say to you

Sailing in the high seas, intercepting all

Put reliability in these hands in this moment

 

So tell me, ask myself, walk forward now, what am I watching?

Without seeing a remnant of this figure crying

Yes, you’re reaching out, walking out and then searching for something

Kick about without discarding the drawing of the present

 

“Yes! Senpai’s song is so much better than Nanase-san’s song!” said Nitori.

 

“Pfft! Mako-chan didn’t write this,” Nagisa pointed out, “This just happen to have lyrics that fit Rin-chan.”

 

“O enough you two!” Gou finally stepped in, “I am sure Onii-chan wouldn’t approve of you two fighting all the time. That is not the path to a healthy relationship.”

 

“Actually, that is an inaccurate conclusion born out of the assumption that all relationships must be the same,” said Rei in a lecturing tone, “Every relationship is different and some of the most honest relationships are ones where the parties fight a lot. Indeed studies have shown…” Megumi kissed him to shut him up.

 

“Not the time,” she told the red faced and flustered Rei with a grin after she broke the kiss.

 

“And that’s why Megu-chan is awesome!” declared Nagisa, glomping her.

 

So ask yourself, walk, it’s resounding

The rhythm of that day is now engraved within me

Yes, I’m reaching out, walking on for an ever long time

Grabbing ahold of the future that I saw from far away

 

The red pulse is rushing through and I can hear you

Strumming the overflowing noise

 

The figure of the future is like a bubble, distorted

It’s burst open, attracted to the miracles

 

With that the song wrapped-up as the aquatic centre reverberated with cheers and applause. “So now we are at the end,” said Makoto.

 

“Nooooooo!” screamed a number of people.

 

Makoto laughed, “Thank you for listening to me,” cheers, “Please join me in wishing our swimmers good luck at the games. I am sure they will not only swim for themselves but also for the team and Japan. So here is a song inspired by the ever blue waters of my home town and my friends with whom I loved swimming. Especially Haru, without whom it is meaningless,” said Makoto, “So,” he turned towards the swimming team, “Please take care of my precious childhood friend and best friend and Rin too,” he said, with a slight bow, “Good luck and please lend your voices to me for this next song,” he then turned to the audience, “Please lend me your voices as well and with it, show our swimmers that we’ll be with them in spirit, supporting them in their quest for glory in the Asian games!”

 

With that Makoto started singing Ever Blue as the swimmers joined in and the audience too in a disharmonious harmony as everybodies feelings aligned, even if their voices did not. As the song concluded, Makoto took a bow before backflipping into the water as the lights glowed dim and finally went out.

 

Makoto swam in the dark, guided by dim underwater lights before surfacings near to the exit. To his amazement, when he surfaced, a hand reached out to him, “For once, I get to help you out of the water,” whispered a kneeling figure.

 

“Haru!” Makoto took Haru’s hand and pulled himself out of the pool but they didn’t let go. Not until they were ushered away by production crew into the locker rooms where Shiori promptly proceeded to give them disapproving looks until they moved a proper, respectable distance away from each other.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay but I am taking part in the MakoHaru Festival and was working on some Rin fics for the 30daysofrin countdown, although I only submitted one to the countdown. But hopefully the next chapter will be done sooner rather than later.
> 
>  
> 
> Apologies in advance if I got the genre of Towayuki (Youtube watch?v=5P-tWT6S8GQ) wrong. I am not sure if it does count as a ballad (couldn’t get hold of translated lyrics to determine if it was telling a coherent story) but it read better to say “rock to pop to ballad”.
> 
>  
> 
> So “Walk” is an Oldcodex song that was the ending theme of Basketball That Kuroko plays the lyrics of which, I thought, rather fit Rin so…


	32. Chapter 32

There was an after-party, there’s always an after-party. Makoto’s debut show after party consisted of the production crew, various people who contributed to the album, other important or just people who needed to be invited from Makoto’s talent agency and the music company, Makoto’s friends, but not his family since Ren and Ran were still too young for such a late show, national team swimmers and a good number of reporters.

 

Under normal circumstances, for a new artist such as Makoto, there would only be a handful of reporters, most freelancers who would try and get their piece published by a number of outlets. Most of the other sites would just reprint the official press release with only a couple sending their correspondents specifically to cover the event. But thanks to the scope of the event due to the involvement of the National swimming squad, the close proximity to the Asian games meant that the press corp was out in considerable force. So much so that freelancers were grumbling that they would be unable to sell their pieces as outlets they would sell to had gone to the trouble of either contracting exclusives from a freelancer of their choosing or actually sent a correspondent.

 

There were also some sports columnists in attendance and it was the sports columnists who currently had Makoto and Haru cornered and asking questions. Mostly about swimming but a little about the music. Rin was off to a side, excluded and ignored but close enough to hear the questions. Shiori was with him, she too would not be noticed unless she drew attention to herself and only reason she would draw attention to herself is if Makoto got in trouble. Like now, “Why did you draw attention to Matsuoka-san?” wondered one of the sport columnists.

 

Rin jumped, “Well he’s my friend and as I said that song…” started Makoto.

 

“Yes, yes but…” started the columnist.

 

Shiori intervened, “I think Matsuoka-san being highlighted was appropriate given he appears in Tachibana-kun’s PV,” she tactfully pointed out, “Perhaps in swimming terms there were others more worthy of special attention,” besides her Rin flinched, it was also when the columnists noticed Rin was in earshot and so all of them assumed a polite, non-confrontational posture, “But Matsuoka-san is Tachibana-kun’s friend and so from Tachibana-kun’s point of view, there was no one more worthy. But of course, as you noticed, throughout the show we highlighted other stars of Japanese swimming in our multimedia projection.”

 

The columnist made noises of agreement and moved on. Rin walked away, wondering if the columnist would have pursued the line of question and indeed, might make a mountain out of Makoto singing Walk for him come morning just to set his column apart from the others. It was vexing to always have things he was enjoying ruined the next moment by other people.

 

“Rin-senpai!” called Nitori, “I am just going to get a drink, did you want one?”

 

“No,” Rin replied, “I need some fresh air,” with that he left the party. He didn’t have a destination in mind but this was the last day he wouldn’t have strict curfew and could stay out as long as he wanted. So Rin decided to do just that as he aimlessly wandered the streets of Tokyo.

 

* * *

 

Somehow or another, Rin found himself at a restaurant that was open late surrounded by school students enjoying their saturday night. There was a pile of food in front of him but honestly he didn’t really feel like eating. He had wanted to order the food but now that he was sitting down with it, he just didn’t want to eat anything.

 

Instead he found himself looking at his phone. There were multiple missed calls from Gou, one from Makoto and as he stared at it, it lit-up indicating Nitori was calling. Rin let it ring out. He thought of sending a message but what exactly was he going to say? “Stop ringing and enjoy the party”? Well he could say that but he doubted it would stop people from worrying about him. Rin sighed and decided to just ignore everybody.

 

Once again he found his eyes going to a gaggle of girls at one corner of the restaurant. There were four of them, swimmers he thought based on the muscles on them. But of course he couldn’t be sure. They seemed to be having fun, eating and drinking and showing each other stuff on their phones. Where was a brown haired girl who kept grabbing Rin’s attention. She looked warm and earthy. She reminded him of both Makoto and Haru for some reason. Rin sighed again, how long had it been since he was with anyone?

 

Not since he found out about Anne’s death now that he thought about it. After that, he just didn’t like the idea of seeking momentary comfort in warm bodies of people he couldn't care less about. Once he returned to Japan it all became mute. He had already decided that next time he didn’t it, he would do it with someone he cared about. Right now that someone was Makoto. So why did he keep staring at this random girl?

 

Before Rin could drop his gaze, one of the girls at the table noticed and said something to the girl he had been staring at. She turned around abruptly, meeting Rin’s gaze. She smiled, Rin dropped his eyes but not before noticing that she was getting up from the table. “Well shit!” thought Rin as he started to gather his wits to give a properly reply to whatever she’s about to say to them. Assuming that she was coming over and not just going to the toilet or something or to another table. God Rin hoped she was getting up to go somewhere else.

 

Unfortunately for Rin, she made a beeline for his table. Giving Rin, who had not looked up, a good view of her pursue that seemed to have a light-brown scarf bow tied on its long noodle strap that went across her chest. Surprised, Rin looked-up, she was still smiling as she said, “If you keep looking at me like that, Matsuoka-kun, you’ll give my friends the wrong impression.”

 

It was the scarf that had given her away to the point that Rin wasn’t surprised that she knew him, “Aki,” he whispered. Indeed, in front of him stood Yazaki Aki, Makoto’s Zaki-chan.

 

* * *

 

In a scene straight out of a shoujo manga, Rin found himself at a random, non descriptive park, sitting on a swing with Aki on the swing besides him, “Congratulations on making the Asian games team,” she said, after a moments silence.

 

So she had been following them. “Are you sure your friends were okay?” Rin asked, even as he nodded his acknowledgement of her congratulations.

 

“It’s fine,” Aki replied, “We were all pretty worn from Makoto-kun’s concert and were just about to head home.”

 

“You were at the show?” Rin repeated, surprised.

 

“I wouldn’t miss it,” Aki said with a grin.

 

Rin sighed, “You still love him,” he said matter of factly, but then this was Aki and he had always found Aki easy to talk to.

 

Aki blinked, “You… knew about that?” Rin looked away, Aki smiled, “It’s not that I am totally hung-up on Makoto-kun. I have tried to date since coming to Tokyo but every guy whose confession I accept and go out with, I end-up finding wanting. I compare them to Makoto-kun and even Nanase-kun, unfortunately those are not standards easily reached.”

 

“Then why…” started Rin before biting his lips, he was prying, impolitely so.

 

Aki answered anyway, “Because I couldn’t say goodbye a second time. Once was hard enough,” she said, “I didn’t want to of course but we were going to be separated for three years at the very least. I had no idea what I wanted to do after High school except go to college somewhere. Makoto-kun was equally clueless. It didn’t seem right to stay in a relationship. Everybody around us also agreed breaking-up was the right thing to do. So we did and it hurt! I couldn’t go through that again.”

 

“It wasn’t because of Haru,” Rin blurted out before he could stop himself.

 

“That’s why I said I couldn’t say goodbye a second time,” replied Aki, “I don’t know if Nanase-kun would let me have Makoto-kun forever.”

 

“Why are you making it sounds as if Haru already has Makoto?” demanded Rin, unable to keep the anger and frustration out of his voice.

 

This time Aki choose not to answer. Instead, she changed the subject, “I am glad Nanase-san is swimming again. I am not sure what happened to make him quit but he was very depressed when he was not swimming. It was painful to watch. Especially since he seemed to have a wound so deep even Makoto-kun couldn’t reach it. I think that was a new experience for Makoto-kun, he didn’t like being so helpless to help.”

 

Rin sighed and accepted the change of topics, “Yeah, he’s happy now. At least I think he is. He’s still incomprehensible to me. But then again, that’s why we are friends.”

 

“What?”

 

“I am weird,” replied Rin.

 

“That’s a given,” Aki teased, “I mean, you are friends with Nanase Haruka and Tachibana Makoto.”

 

“Huh? What about you then?” wondered Rin.

 

“I never said I wasn’t weird,” Aki replied with grin.

 

A moment of silence before Rin returned to his earlier point, “I had a friend, well at least he started of as a friend. Anyway, his name was Sousuke,” Rin explained, “Sousuke and I understood each other really well. When we were 12, I felt that he was the person who understood me the best. Yet that understanding didn’t bring me comfort. It actually just brought me pain. There was a time I could say what I felt honestly to him, because we were friend. But overtime, as I understood his feelings more and more, I just couldn’t be honest with him. He ceased being a friend and became more an alter-ego, a second self that I could not love nor hate. But,” Rin continued, “I could spend an entire lifetime with Makoto and Haru and I would still find both of them incomprehensible. It’s like…” Rin didn’t know how to describe it.

 

“You are a fish amongst dolphins,” offered Aki.

 

“That’s actually an apt analogy,” replied Rin, smiling for a the first time in a while, “But in our difference is the secret of our friendship. I know we will be friends forever.”

 

“Just friends?” wondered Aki.

 

“Are you fishing?”

 

“It’s not that,” replied Aki, “Just before I left Iwatobi, I found myself in front of the flower beds that our class laid, with the bricks containing our words.”

 

“Words you arranged into I swim free for the team,” Rin pointed out.

 

“Words that wouldn’t exist if you hadn’t come-up with the idea, Matsuoka-kun,” Aki complemented, Rin didn’t comment, willing her to go on, “It’s a little silly but as I stood in front of the flower bed, looking at the words we put on the brick, I kept thinking that we were forever linked like those bricks. Although with us, the cement that connected us was invisible and perhaps more enduring. I don’t know,” she laughed, “It was a silly notion but just now I remembered it and so asked a silly question. Don’t mind me,” she added with a grin.

 

Rin changed the topic, “Why do you still have that scarf?” he wondered, looking pointedly at the light brown scarf that Rin knew used to be bright white, before it fell into a river.

 

“How could I throw it away after Nanase-kun nearly drowned getting it back for me?” she wondered, “How could I cast it aside when it cause Makoto-kun so much suffering?”

 

Involuntarily, Rin shuddered, remembering that faithful day when Haru, bullheaded, idiotic Haru had refused to heed his bodies warning and tried to retrieve Aki’s scarf from the river near their old swim club while sick from influenza. By sheer coincidence, Rin and Makoto had arrived at the bridge over said river just as Aki had started to yell as Haru slid into the water. They had sprung into action, fishing Haru out of the river. Makoto had not been able to stop shaking, even as he calmly instructed Aki to go to the swim club, tell them what happened and get to them call an ambulance and gave precise orders to Rin on how he could help.

 

Rin and Makoto had piled into the ambulance with Haru and all through the ride, Makoto had held on to Haru’s shirt and kept calling his name. Still to this day, Rin had never seen a person so scared. “He denied it,” said Rin suddenly, “Makoto was scared but he denied it! Pretended he couldn’t remember and I let him. Fuck!” Rin buried his head in his hand. “Maybe I was worrying too much, is what I said to myself and then, the next time we went swimming, Makoto froze in the middle of his lap! Of course he wasn’t okay! He never is! But I…” Rin didn’t know how to go on. Aki didn’t say anything. Finally, “I am glad I ran into you, Aki,” said Rin, technically he should still be calling her Yazaki-san but somehow he didn’t want to, “It was nice to talk to someone who has the same memories but can never share the same lane with me.”

 

Aki smiled and looked to a the sky, no, not the sky, but the billboard for an ad starring Makoto, “It was nice to see you again too, Matsuoka-kun.”

 

They exchanged numbers, before heading to opposite directions. Aki didn’t tell Rin not to tell Makoto he ran into her but it didn’t matter. Rin didn’t think he could bring himself to tell Makoto he had run into his ex-girlfriend who was very much still in love with Makoto. Haru was bad enough. He didn’t need Aki in the mix as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yes, Yazaki Aki is from High Speed! and despite her importance in the novel, including the fact that it was she who organised the message bricks to form the sentence I swim (Makoto’s message) Best (Aki’s message) Free (Haru’s message) For The Team (Rin’s message), she didn’t make it into the anime. But the big thing about her, or at least what struck me the most, was that she seemed to have an understanding of Makoto and Haru. Also that both Makoto and Rin often went to her and all three spoke somewhat freely with her. Rin actually went to Aki first and tried to get her to convince Haru to swim the relay with him. But of course, Rin quickly learnt the truth that the only person who could get Haru to do stuff is Makoto!
> 
>  
> 
> Also Souske is from High-speed and yes he was something of a childhood friend of Rin’s but again, someone who seems to have been totally discarded in the anime.


	33. Chapter 33

Rin: I am sorry I bailed on your party. I just wanted some fresh air.

 

Makoto: Don’t worry about it. Me and Haru would have skipped out too if Shiro-san wasn’t keeping a close eye on us.

 

Rin: So you are off to Iwatobi.

 

Makoto: Yeah. Ran and Ren will start to hate me if I don’t go and spend some time with them ASAP. Besides, with you and Haru all tied-up with your training, it’ll be very lonely in Tokyo.

 

Rin: Don’t you have like a lot of interviews and stuff.

 

Makoto: This week I am booked solid. But starting this weekend I would be “old news”. Everybody interested in doing an interview would already have one and if they don’t, they aren’t interested. At least that’s what Shiori-san says.

 

Rin: So you get a week off?

 

Makoto: Yeah, after that I am playing some live music venues and getting back to modelling.

 

Rin: They are going to wear you out again.

 

Makoto: I don’t mind (^.^) Being busy means I won’t be lonely. I miss having Haru besides me most of the time and I got used to having you around a lot too.

 

Rin: After the games, you might see us more than you like.

 

Makoto: That’s not possible.

 

Rin: I’ll hold you to that.

 

Makoto: You are welcome to. (^.^)

 

* * *

 

 

Makoto: How is your practice going?

 

Haru: Fine.

 

Makoto: You don’t talk much as usual.

 

Haru: There is not much to say. Everything interesting is happening on your end. How is Ren and Ran?

 

Makoto: They were really angry with me the first day but then they realised they don’t have time to be angry and have been playing with me every chance they get! They really miss you, Haru. It’s just not the same going places without you. The beach, the pool, the aquarium. Everything makes me miss you since we always used to take the twins to these places together and so it’s all a little lonely. Not to mention I get worn down twice as fast! I never realised how much of a handful the twins are since we always handled them together.

 

Haru: Are you just missing me as an extra babysitter?

 

Makoto: Eh!!! Of course not! I miss you because you are Haru! I miss everything about you! Including the extra eyes for babysitting.

 

Haru: I miss you too.

 

Makoto: (^.^) Haru’s become more honest since moving to Tokyo.

 

Haru: I think you are getting me mixed-up with Rin.

 

Makoto: It’s different! I mean, you are expressing yourself more. It started last year, before the regionals but I don’t think you’ll run away now after well… telling me what’s in your heart.

 

Haru: No, I won’t be going for a run next time.

 

Makoto: Eh? Do you have something to tell me Haru?

 

Haru: No, not now anyway.

 

Makoto: Okay (^.^) When you are ready, I’ll be waiting.

 

* * *

 

Haru! Rin! I got great news! Apparently there is a Western style pub in Incheon called G7 that has a stage that can be rented out. So my agency is booking it out for a few nights and will be hosting some of the Japanese dignitaries, game officials and winning athletes during the games. They have a big party planned for the end of the game with some of our biggest stars. But they are going to hold couple of smaller scale events/parties. I have a slot in the first of these events that’s going to be on second last day of the swimming program!

 

But they are going to let me go a day early and I asked to stay an extra night. See for once the agency is footing all the bills because they are technically hiring me. But they wanted me to fly back straight after the event to save on hotel costs but I wanted to stay and watch Haru swim to the medley relay on the last day of the swimming program. So I worked it out so I get to fly in early enough the day before the event to see Haru swim the 4 x 100 metres freestyle relay and since the party starts after the game events finish, I get to watch Haru swim the 100m Free too!

 

Shiori-san got me tickets through her contacts and said I could stay at the penthouse apartment she and her husband rented out for the games the extra night the agency isn’t going to be paying for my hotel room as they have an extra bedroom. They are doing a working vacation or something like that.

 

I tried to get them to send me earlier so I could watch Rin swim butterfly and Haru swim the 200m and the 4 x 200m relay but they wouldn’t send me that early. (T.T) But I’ll get to see the shine medals you two win in those events when I get to Korea!

 

\- Makoto

 

I’ll be sure to win, Makoto and once I do, there is something important I want to tell you. - Rin

 

Ah, okay! - Makoto

 

I am going to win and after I do, I’ll tell you that thing I mentioned before. - Haru

 

Sure thing Haru-chan! - Makoto

 

Drop the -chan already! - Haru

 

* * *

 

They arrived in Korea about a week before the start of the games, moving into the athletes village and started training within the games aquatic centre. Rin and Haru were roommates again much to both of their relief.

 

Given that they were both competing on the second day of the games, both Haru and Rin skipped the opening ceremony. Haru had no interest in the athletes parade, the pageantry of the opening ceremony and no amount of “it’s an essential experience” would have convinced him to go even if he had no reasonable excuse. Although most people acknowledge that athletes competing on the first couple of days, especially the first day, may well be too nervous to take part in the athletes parade or simply be cautious and thus avoid anything unnecessary.

 

Rin, however, had wanted to take part. Mikoshiba even encouraged him to take part but then again, Mikoshiba’s event wasn’t until the 3rd day of the games. In the end, Rin decided to be play it safe, if only because his teammates still didn’t like him much. But he vowed that he would attend the closing ceremony with a medal around his neck. So he put all his frustration and annoyance into training and for once, he was able to let go of every negative feeling as soon as he hit the water and float free like a butterfly.

 

“Why are you smirking?” Haru wondered as he watched Rin leave the pool.

 

“I think I have been hanging out too much around Rei,” he replied, “I have butterflies in my brain,” Haru clearly didn’t follow, “Don’t worry about it,” said Rin, “I am just thinking too much.”

  
  


“Don’t think, just feel,” said Haru, “And the water…”

 

“O hell no! No more of water philosophy! Really Haru! You should become a priest of a water shrine,” said Rin, Haru looked serious for a moment, “I was joking! I doubt there is a shrine in the country that would actually take you in. You are too… difficult,” Haru actually looked disappointed.

 

* * *

 

Nagisa: Are you there Mako-chan?

 

Makoto: Yes I am here. Is this really okay?

 

Nagisa: Of course it is! It’s Haru-chan and Rin-chan’s first event! We should all watch it together!

 

Makoto: Yes but school…

 

Nagisa: Stop worrying! Even Rei-chan agreed this was more important than school! Megu-chan is in school but she can’t concentrate at all! She keeps texting us. She might as well have skipped like us!

 

Makoto: Are you sure Rei’s just not bothering her while she’s trying to study?

 

Nagisa: She’s not texting Rei-chan! Rei-chan would just tell her to concentrate and be all like “remember, you are taking notes for two!” He’s so fussy! He kept giving Megu-chan instructions on how best to take notes and you know what Megu-chan did? She did her own research and they had an actual argument over the best note taking method! It’s was worse than the time Rei-chan and Rin-chan got into a technical argument over swimming strokes!

 

Makoto: Ah that’s… wait, if are you saying you are texting Megumi-san?

 

Nagisa: Someone has to let her know how they are doing!

 

Makoto: Nagisa! She can use her phone to look up the results! Don’t bother her!

 

Nagisa: I am not bothering her! Honest! She asked me to do it.

 

Makoto: Fine, fine.

 

Nagisa: I wish you could be here Mako-chan.

 

Makoto: I wish I was in Iwatobi with you guys to but I couldn’t get any time off. Shiori-san booked me solid with modelling jobs and I also have to practice with the backup band that’s going over to Korea with us for the parties. If I become famous enough, I think I’ll make my own band. That way I won’t have to have to deal with the backup bands changing all the time.

 

Nagisa: That makes sense. It wouldn’t be nice for Mako-chan to always have new people behind him. I think Mako-chan does best when he’s surrounded by friends. Especially Haru-chan! Oh! Haru-chan’s heat is about to start! Are you watching this?

 

Makoto: Yes, I am at home right now. But I have to go in an hour but I should be back in time for the later sessions.

 

Nagisa: Oh! Haru-chan! He looks so cool! Hey Mako-chan, what is he thinking?

 

Makoto: Eh! You want to me to read his mind through the TV!

 

Nagisa: TV affects your telepathy?

 

Makoto: No, I mean, give me a minute.

 

Makoto: He’s thinking the sooner he gets this done the sooner he can go find mackerels to eat.

 

Nagisa: That doesn’t sound right!

 

Nagisa: Rei-chan and Ai-chan think that’s wrong too!

 

Makoto: Eh!!!!

 

Nagisa: Wow Haru-chan was awesome! He totally blitzed the field! Oh, pool-side interview.

 

Nagisa: Wait! Haru-chan actually was thinking he’s hungry and he wanted to swim fast so he could end it quickly and go have mackerels!!!

 

Makoto: Told you!

 

Nagisa: Rei-chan can’t believe he said that in front of an international audience.

 

Makoto: Well…

 

Nagisa: I guess Haru-chan wouldn’t be Haru-chan without his mackerel obsession.

 

Makoto: (^.^)

Nagisa: That was the last 200m heat but I don’t think Rin-chan will be out for awhile.

 

Makoto: He’s in the last heat since his time was pretty fast but I think he’s in one of the end lanes.

 

Nagisa: Hope Rin-chan does well. It’s hard to do well from the end lanes.

 

* * *

 

“Are you sure you are not going to be in trouble, Nitori-kun?” asked Rei, having been left alone with Nitori while Nagisa and Gou were getting more food and drinks.

 

“Yep,” he assured his companion, “Most of the swim club members are skipping classes and the teachers are looking the other way. Well in most cases anyway. The students who haven’t been doing well in their school work aren’t being allowed to skip classes or anything,” Nitori explained.

 

“Makes sense,” said Rei as he turned back to the TV.

 

“There’s sepai!” cried Nitori at the first sight of Rin, “He looks like he’s in good condition! I am glad, it means he’s going to win!”

 

“I hope so,” said Rei, “Rin-san’s been working very hard. I really admire him to be able to stay true to this thought process and still continue to move forward.”

 

“What do you mean?” wondered Nitori.

 

“I used to be on the track team,” Rei explained, “I was very good and won lots of awards before entering high school but when I got to high school, well my way of vaulting was no longer producing the results,” he gripped his forearm, making Nitori wonder if he had been injured at some point and if that was, what had affected his performance in high school, “My coach started saying that if I kept doing what I was doing, I wouldn’t be able to move forward. So I left the track and field club and joined the swim club. That’s not to say,” he quickly added, “I ran away. I wouldn’t want you to get that impression Nitori-kun. I was truly inspired by Haruka-senpai’s swimming and thought I could learn something beautiful and important from him and the rest of the swim team. But what it all means is that I sort of understand what Rin-san feels.”

 

“He has a lot of natural talent,” Rei continued, “Maybe not as much as Haruka-senpai but still he has a lot and he works very, very hard. He’s also a technical swimmer, thinking about stroke mechanics, the psychology and everything. But to fail after putting in so much effort, especially being able unable to swim the way he wants to, I can understand the bitterness it can leave on your soul.”

 

Nitori nodded, “I understand. Well no, I mean, I know the frustration of not being able to do what you want to but I am a mediocre swimmer and hopeless. I have come as far as my swimming will let me. I never had any grand aspirations. But senpai has real talent, so I really believe he can achieve his dreams!”

 

Further conversation was interrupted by the entrance of Gou and Nagisa with the food and drinks, “We didn’t miss onii-chan’s race did we?”

 

“No, no they are just striping off their track suits,” Rei assured them.

 

“Good!” said Gou, sitting down, “I hope onii-chan wins!”

 

“He will!” said Nagisa, “Even though he’s in the 8th lane, I am sure he’ll be fine!”

 

“I don’t really understand why being in the 8th lane is a bad thing,” admitted Gou.

 

“Well not the 8th lane per say but the outermost lanes have historically been less advantageous than the middle lanes,” explained Rei, “In the outer lanes, swimmers are affected by backwash which is created by the waves of the swimmers hitting the wall reverberating back to create more waves and less of a smooth surface to swim in. But modern pool technology has largely eliminated backwash issues. Still being the middle lanes is advantageous in that you are close to all swimmers. While the swimmer in the 8th lane has no clear idea what the swimmer in the 1st lane is doing. Theoretically, the 8th lane swimmer only needs to watch the middle lane swimmers because they are the fastest but just as we are hoping Rin-san will be snatching victory from the 8th lane, the person in the 1st lane…”

 

“They are about to start!” Nagisa exclaimed loudly, cutting off Rei’s explanation, “Go Rin-chan!”

 

“Go Onii-chan!” said Gou, once again regretting that timing, and to a lesser extent money, meant she couldn’t be there to cheer in person. But still she cheered as hard as she could and indeed, she cheered even louder when Rin won his race. Jolting the field as no one has expected him to win. Maybe place and be fast enough to go into the next round but the win was a big surprise.

 

* * *

 

Makoto ignored his phone. He knew Nagisa wanted to live chat during Haru’s race, the finals for the 200m men’s free, but he wanted to just watch. Just watch, he even had the TV on mute because he didn’t want the commentators to intrude upon this moment. So Makoto watched as the living water embraced Haru like a lover, caressing him and aiding him as Haru, using his powerful muscles and high stroke speed, glided through the water. It was beautiful to watch. Makoto was sure that no matter how old he got, he would always find this sight mesmerising.

 

Haru won, easily. Typically, his expression didn’t change and he also didn’t look-up at the clock. He didn’t have to. Makoto was sure the aquatic centre announcer was exclaiming loudly how Haru had set a new Asian record, thus automatically a new games and national record. Haru tried to walk straight into the dressing room but poolside crew had clearly gotten the “Nanase Haruka memo” because he was skillfully assured towards the waiting press. Makoto put up the volume.

 

“Congratulations Nanase-san!” gushed the reporter, “How do you feel?”

 

“Hungry,” replied Haru, “I don’t think I ate enough mackerels today.”

 

“Ah, well you must be very happy with your win!” prompted the reporter.

 

“The water was good to me today,” replied Haru.

 

The reporter was not sure what to make of the answer and decided to just press on, “How do you feel about setting a new Asian record?”

 

“I was trying to set a world record,” replied Haru, “But I guess I am not one enough with the water for that yet.”

 

“Ah, um, that’s very ambitious and a noble goal!” Haru simply nodded. The reporter was now thoroughly flustered, “You have more races coming up?” the reporter prompted but Haru only nodded, “Ah, can you remind the viewers which races they are?” the reporter clarified their intentions.

 

“I only swim free,” replied Haru. Internally, the reporter was on the verge of tears but outwardly the reporter tried very hard to remain professional and a little perky. But Haru could read the frustration in the reporters eyes and decided to have mercy, “So I’ll be swimming both the freestyle relays, the 100m free and the free leg of the medley relay.”

 

The reporter genuinely perked-up, “So we’ll get to see you tomorrow,” Haru nodded, “Good luck Nanase-san, all of Japan will be cheering for you!” one further nod and Haru was finally able to escape.

 

* * *

 

“Having a good day, Matsuoka,” was probably what the head coach was thinking, thought Rin as he swam in the warm-up pool to get ready for the finals of the 100m butterfly. He had qualified second fastest but only by half a second. Rin didn’t know if he was just having a freakishly good day or if he finally, finally, completely gotten over the wall he had hit back in middle school, the wall Haru and the others had helped punch a hole through. He didn’t know but he wasn’t going to focus on it too much.

 

“One stroke,” Rin reminded himself, “I just need to be better than the others by one stroke and I’ll win. Confess to Makoto and one way or another, turn a page in my life and start fresh. Just one stroke.”

 

Someone came to fetch Rin, “It’s time.” Rin pulled himself out of the water.

 

As he made his way to the competition pool, he passed Haru and a flustered Team Japan PR officer, “I’ll give you all the mackerel you can eat, Nanase-san, but please just answer the questions properly!”

 

Rin laughed out loud, “I wouldn’t make that promise,” he warned the officer, “Haru is a bottomless mackerel pit!” Haru glared at him, “You know I am right! And that’s why I’ll never compete against you in mackerel eating.”

 

Haru rolled his eyes before saying, “Good luck, Rin.”

 

“Thanks,” replied Rin, feeling unexpectedly light and cheerful, Rin walked out to the pool area grinning like his old self back in elementary school.

 

* * *

 

Haru was torn between watching Rin and getting his phone. He decided to do both, dashing to grab his phone and rushing back to the pool side. As expected he had multiple missed calls, all of them from Makoto. Indeed, before Haru could even attempt to callback, Makoto called again, “Haru?”

 

“Rin is about to swim,” Haru pointed out.

 

“I know but I just wanted to say congratulations,” replied Makoto, “You are truly awesome, Haru.” They didn’t need to say anything else to each other. So they turned their attention towards Rin, just in time to see him dive as the start signal was given.

 

“That was a good start,” Makoto said, easily falling into his role of talker, even at their present distance, “Rin really has a powerful kick,” which was true but the question mark hung over his stroke speed, “He fast! But the others aren’t holding back any long. They are really going at it.”

 

Haru nodded, then realised he was on his phone and so spoke-up, “This is not exactly a race they can hold back on,” indeed, Rin was struggling hard to keep-up but unlike many of the others, Rin had only this one event. He could given it is all and burnout afterwards and it wouldn’t matter.

 

“Wow! That chinese swimmer is not letting him get away!” commented Makoto, “But Rin is giving it his all, isn’t he? He’s keeping nothing in reserve.”

 

“Neither is Zhou Jiawei,” commented Haru.

 

“Ha?”

 

“I was curious about Rin’s opponents. Far more than my own,” admitted Haru, “Zhou Jiawei is 30 years old and is the current Asian games champions. Internally he only ever won in 2010, two golds one for 50m and one for 100m. He came 13th in 2012 Olympics and wasn’t in last years World championship. Even his Chinese national record is from 2009.”

 

“What… what are you saying Haru?” demanded Makoto but he knew where this was going.

 

“This is most likely his last game and he’s defending his titles, the only international titles he ever won,” stated Haru simply.

 

“Rin,” commented Makoto after a pause, “Really has bad luck with opponents doesn’t he?”

 

“I don’t think Rin would be satisfied winning easy races,” replied Haru.

 

“True that’s…” Makoto’s attention wavered as Rin entered the last 25m of the race, neck and neck with his chinese opponent. He let his hand holding the phone drop so he could cheer without deafening Haru.

 

On the other side of the line, Haru did the same and called out Rin’s name. Hoping to spur him on even if he was normally not the cheering type. But he was by the poolside and their other friends weren’t. So for once in his life, Haru decided to be the mouthpiece for everyone, everyone who was back in Japan and cheering at the TV screen.

 

* * *

 

It had come down to experience. Rin looked-up at the board in mounting annoyance. One stroke! That’s all he needed! He just needed to be one stroke better than his opponent! Why hadn’t he managed it? Why!!!

 

“Good swim,” his opponent commented, “Just managed to push the pressure pad a little harder than you I think,” for once that was literally the truth and not false modesty. Years and years of competitive swimming at the highest level meant that Zhou Jiawei knew just how to press the pressure pad at the end of the lane. The difference between him and Rin was 0.01 seconds.

 

Rin stopped and asked himself, “What would Makoto do?” and then swallowing back all his disappointment, anger and frustration, he said, “The win was a testament to your experience,” and shook his opponents hand with as much sincerity as he could manage. Then he pulled himself out of the pool and headed for the showers.

 

“Rin,” Haru tried to approach him. Rin didn’t stop. He needed a few minutes to himself. But then he noticed the reporter and promptly turned back to Haru. he really wasn’t ready to face the press, “Congratulations,” Haru said, ignoring Rin’s previous attempt at ignoring him and picking-up on Rin’s current desire to to avoid the press.

 

“Thanks,” replied Rin, silence followed.

 

“Makoto’s on the phone,” prompted Haru, offering Rin the phone. Rin all but snatched the phone from Haru’s hand. He felt as if he was drifting down into the pits of despair and whether he could or not, Rin wanted Makoto to catch him.

 

“Congratulations, Rin!” exclaimed Makoto, “That was a great swim!”

 

“I didn’t win,” Rin pointed out.

 

Makoto laughed, “That’s what I love about you Rin,” said Makoto.

 

“You like me losing?” replied Rin, trying to keep his tone jovial because he really did mean it as a joke but he noted it came out a little on the serious side.

 

“No, no, nothing like that,” Makoto assured quickly, “What I mean is that, you came third and only made it into the team because one the people who made it in pulled out. Most would say that you were being too hard on yourself and that silver was a great achievement. Indeed, all the commentators on the TV were gushing about you all day. Talking about how conventional wisdom would say you didn’t have a shot. But you, you don’t care what anyone says or what conventional wisdom dictates. You really are an idealist with big dreams and you try to stay true to those dreams and  true to your own opinions and individuality,” Makoto pointed out.

 

“I really like that,” said Makoto, “So I am not going to try and console you buy saying Silver is good enough or say something like, you tried your best and so you should be happy. What I am going to say is that I am very proud of you and so is Haru. As is, I am sure, Gou, your mother and your phone is probably flooded with messages from them, as well as Nagisa, Rei, Nitori and all your supports from Samezuka. So,” Makoto didn’t seem to know how to finish so he simply said, “Congratulations again,” weird though it might sound, Rin could hear the smile in the ensuing silence.

 

“Thanks,” he said to Makoto, sincerely this time before handing the phone back to Haru. Then he smiled, “Haru,” he said, even as tears flooded his eyes, “I won silver!”

  
“Congratulations,” he said again, this time flashing one of rare smiles, “Let’s go celebrate with Mackerels.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to anyone still reading. I’ll try and get the other chapter sooner rather than later and I promise it will be ending soon!. Anyway, yes the G7 is a real pub in Incheon. It is described as a pub and not a bar. Not sure if that means they serve sit down dinners like British pubs or not. The swimming schedule is based on 2010 Asian games. I couldn’t find the schedule for 2014 but I don’t think it’ll be very different from 2010.
> 
>  
> 
> Also, yes Zhou Jiawei is current 100m champion from the Asian games. Couldn’t figure out why he wasn’t in the world championships last year. I don’t think Zhou Jiawei has retired and maybe was just taking a year off and will be in this years Asian games. It’s just too early in the year for the countries to be announcing their squad.
> 
>  
> 
> Lastly, yes in competitive swimming the whole “pushing the pressure pad at the end of a lane” is something the swimmers train for and in really close races, the one who touches the pad best wins and I gather the more experienced swimmer does have a slight advantage with the pad.


	34. Chapter 34

Rin’s tears hadn’t dried by the time the poolside attendants started to usher both him and Haru away. Of course the awaiting media pounced and while Rin could ignore everybody else, he could not ignore the Japanese media without incurring serious management wrath. In an effort to end it quickly, Rin just decided to be as honest with his feelings as he could given the situation. He thanked his mother, Gou, his friends, various coaches he’s had in the past. He took special care to remember to name the head coach of Team Japan in his thanks, as well as thank Team Japan generally before proceeding to sideways hug Haru and thanked him. Rin ended with, “I would also thank my personal sponsors but I don’t have any so I’ll just thank the stray cats of Japan! They have been a great support to me over the years and all they ever wanted was mackerels, much like this one!” Rin squeezed Haru to him one more time.

 

“He seems to be okay,” thought Haru relieved. He was a little worried when Rin had come out of the pool looking, lost and defeated. But at least he was able to exit the pool. Not like the time in last years regionals when it seemed Rin didn’t have the strength to pull himself out. That had been painful to watch and if Haru had his way, he would never see such a sight ever again.

 

The satisfied reporter allowed them to leave and the two quickly scurried away. Once in the locker room Rin reached for his phone and as expected, it was flooded with messages.

 

Mom: “Congratulations! Call me!”

 

Gou: “Congratulations, onii-chan! I spoke to mom. She said to call her.”

 

Nagisa: “You were awesome Rin-chan!!!!! Korean BBQ on me once you are back!”

 

Rei: “You were beautiful, Rin-san! Megumi-kun also thought so. So congratulations from the both of us.”

 

Nagisa: “Oh! Megumi-chan also says congratulations! I bet Rei-chan forgot to pass along her wishes. She’s so sweet! Rei-chan hit the jackpot! She bought strawberry shortcakes for me!”

 

Nitori: “Congratulations Senpai! I know you didn’t win gold but you should totally still tell Tachibana-san that you love him! I am cheering for you senpai!!!”

 

“Lots of messages?” asked Haru, Rin nodded. “You are so loved,” Haru added.

 

Rin grinned, “Well I’ll find out soon enough just how much I am loved,” he said cryptically. Haru didn’t understand but then decided it was not important. It was late and they were all very tired.

 

Rin’s phone beeped just as he was about to put it away and head ot the showers. It was a message from Aki, just a simple “Congratulations.”

 

“Hey Haru,” Rin asked suddenly, “Did Aki call you?”

 

“Yazaki Aki?” Haru clarified although, common as the name was, she was the only Aki both Rin and him would know, “No. She doesn’t have my number,” explained Haru, “I didn’t get a mobile phone until High school and she had left by then. We do exchange New Years greeting cards but I didn’t think there was any need to give her my number. I mean, most people just call Makoto if they want me. Well,” Haru sighed, “They used to anyway. Now I do have to carry my phone around,” he said as he faintly glared at his phone, suddenly irrationally annoyed, “But why bring it up suddenly?” wondered Haru.

 

“No reason,” Rin quickly said, “I am just remembering the ‘best’ from our ‘I swim best free for the team’, I mean,” he added with a grin, “You actually will be swimming for the team tomorrow,” Haru was certain that Rin was hiding something but he let it drop. He was curious but not curious enough to dig any further.

 

* * *

 

Rin spent most of the night on his phone. First he called his mother and then Gou. After that he chatted for a bit with Nitori and Nagisa. They two of them were having a “sleepover” and in a TMI moment, Nagisa assured Rin they were going to have a lot of sex to celebrate Rin’s victory. Once again, Rin found himself wondering why he was even friends with the these dorks and also were the sweet, innocent and wide eyed Nagisa of his childhood had gone. Rin was not excluding the possibility of alien abduction in middle school. Finally he sent replies to Aki, Rei and a handful of other people who had sent him messages throughout the night, like Coach Sasabe.

 

He only managed a few hours of shut eye but that was okay as the games were over for Rin. Still, come morning Rin got up and in due time headed down to the aquatic centre since he had decided not to shirk his duties as a member of team Japan and so turned-up to support his teammates who were still competing, including Haru. Although, Haru was not in the morning program as management had decided let Haru rest. Instead, they let the substitute for the 4x200m relay team swim in the heats and even the quarterfinals.

 

It was standard practice in relays and designed to give their stars a break. Japan was slated to easily advance and so didn’t see any need to tax Haru by having him swim more than he needed to, factoring in that Haru still had the 4x100m, 100m and the all important medley relay. In track and field, the event with the most speed prestige was the 100m sprint. Olympic Champions in the 100m sprint, which usually took place on the second last day, with the track and field program brought to a close with the 4x100m relay.

 

In swimming the 100m freestyle was the prestige speed event and usually took place on the second last day but it was the medley relay that was the big closer of the swimming program. Team Japan wanted gold from both events. Especially the 100m Free since they had not won the event at the Asian games since 1998 and nobody wanted to publicly admit that Japan probably won back then because Chinese swimming was in disarray following a doping scandal. As a result of all this history, Team Japan were carefully managing Haru to ensure he wasn’t going to miss out on the gold due to fatigue and for his part, Haru decided the path of least effort was to just go with the flow.

 

Both Team Japan’s efforts and Haru’s willingness to go along with it were rewarded when he won his second gold of the games with the 4x200m relay. Best part of the win for Haru was that he could let his teammates, who were all his senpais, do all the talking while he counted the moments until he could get to a phone and talk to Makoto.

 

* * *

 

“So what’s the plan?” asked Rin, “Straight to the village, dinner and bed?” he guessed.

 

“My parents want me to go have dinner with them,” said Haru.

 

“Wait! Your parents are here?” demanded Rin.

 

“I am in my first international tournament, Rin,” Haru pointed out.

 

“But… I… are you close to your parents?” Rin was so confused.

 

“My parents aren’t like Mr and Mrs Tachibana. They are…” Haru seemed to choose his words carefully, “More traditional. But anyway, my mom wanted to come see me swim at least during the first couple of days. Neither of my parents are big swimming fans,” he explained, “They find it boring. So I am a little surprised they came yesterday and today. But they are at their limit. They are going to go on a proper tour of Korea starting tomorrow. I am supposed to join them after I am done competing.”

 

“Wait, is that where you were yesterday?” asked Rin, suddenly remembering he hadn’t seen Haru after the left the aquatic centre until Haru came into the dorm a little after curfew, at which point he had gone straight to bed.

 

“I had dinner with my parents,” confirmed Haru.

 

“You know, I don’t think I ever met your parents,” commented Rin.

 

“I haven’t seen your mother either,” Haru pointed out.

 

“Good point, anyway, I won’t keep you,” Rin said. Haru nodded and left.

 

As Rin made his way back to the athletes village alone, he decided that he didn’t mind having a solitary evening. He did have a lot on his mind, like how and when he was going to confess to Makoto. In galled Rin that he had fallen short of the ideal he had set himself but then again, that was the story of his life. Only once had he been able to achieve the ideal he had been striving for and that was during the relay in elementary school.

 

Back then, Rin had wanted to win the relay like he knew his father and his team had before he set out for Australia. It was his way to talk to his father, to reach his father. He had wanted to do it as a member of the greatest team ever and they were a great team. Not only did they win, they set a tournament record and he had connected with his father because the sight he saw back then was his father swimming in front of him, lead him to his destination. But that he had been able to do because of Makoto, Nagisa and Haru. On his own, well on his own it seems Rin was always destined to fall one stroke sort. But no, he wouldn’t think of such black thoughts now.

 

Instead Rin thought of laughing green eyes and tried to plan when to reveal how much he wanted those eyes on him always. Rin had no idea if Makoto would accept his feelings or reject them but one way or the other, Rin needed to know. “After Makoto’s show,” Rin suddenly decided, “I’ll confess after his show and that way, yes or no, we’ll have time to talk,” hopefully it’ll be yes and they’ll get to do more than just talk.

 

* * *

 

Makoto had a packed schedule from the moment he landed. As soon as he exited the airport, he caught a taxi to a hotel near the show venue where he would be staying but where his agency had also booked space for rehearsals and for pre-show preparation for some of the artists. Makoto was one of them. He was shown to his room, taken to where his backup band was setting-up and also pointed towards the dressing room he would be using on the night.

 

A quick lunch was followed by couple of hours of practice and Makoto was finally able to head out to the aquatic centre. But his timing was better than he expected as, once again, Haru was only swimming the semi-finals and finals and Makoto was in time to see both. Despite the fact that he had to sing tomorrow, Makoto shouted himself hoarse cheering for Haru, blushing all the while because it was kind of embarrassing.

 

Team Japan won! How could they not when Haru had given them such a commanding lead after swimming first. But certainly his teammates did not shirk their responsibilities. They swam their heart out, at the very least, not letting the other teams cut even a millisecond off the lead Haru had handed them. It was a great victory.

 

When the finally met, Makoto engulfed Haru in a big warm hug, “Congratulations,” he whispered hoarsely.

 

Haru frowned, “Don’t talk,” he said, “You were shouting too much.” Makoto pulled back and looked at Haru, smiling, “I heard,” Haru answered Makoto’s unspoken question, “You were very loud,” Makoto smiled sheepishly, a little apologetic, “I am happy,” Haru added quickly, “But Makoto should be more careful with your voice. So no talking! You need to rest it.” Makoto grinned and nodded in agreement.

 

Which is how Rin ended-up in the middle of the world’s weirdest dinner where Haru talked for both him and Makoto, not that it meant he talked all that much more, and Makoto somehow talked through Haru to Rin with just his looks. When the two of them were talking to each other, there was nothing but silence. It was like watching a long time married, old couple sitting together in total silence but actually having a riveting discussion with just their eyes.

 

If Rin didn’t have a little Nitori voice inside his head constantly going, “Don’t worry Rin-senpai! It’s just because they have known each other all their lives! You and Tachibana-san will be like that too one day! I am cheering for you!” he would really start to despair and maybe end-up abandoning his whole confessions idea. Also, when the hell did he get a little cheerleading Nitori installed in his head?

 

* * *

 

Thankfully Makoto’s voice was fully restored the next day and he was able to do a rehearsal at the venue with ease. Straight after, he headed to the aquatic centre, having tickets for all sessions starting from the quarterfinals straight through to the finals. Haru had made him promise not to cheer during the 100m but Makoto wasn’t sure how he was supposed to hold himself back but since he had promised, he would do his best.

 

He was seated in a different location to Rin, who was seated with the other athletes, closer to the pool. So the two of them ended-up texting each other, which was a little weird but still fun. Although Makoto was worried the Rin was ignoring the people around him.

 

Rin: I am not!

 

Makoto: Are you sure?

 

Rin: Didn’t I just say I am not ignoring anyone? I mean, I am sitting with the girls.

 

Makoto: Huh?

 

Rin: I don’t know any of the girls. I mean, I saw some of them around practice but never really talked. They all in their little groups with BFFs and are totally ignoring me. In fact I am pretty sure some of them are hoping I would just go away.

 

Makoto: You could make friends with them.

 

Rin: Not during these games! In fact, I am carefully crafting my body language to give the ‘not interested’ vide.

 

Makoto: That’s terrible!

 

Rin: Is that a terrible or a terrible?

 

Makoto: I don’t think what you are trying to say can be said in text.

 

Rin: Challenge accepted! First terrible, Rei - “that’s not beautiful Rin-san, that’s a terrible way to treat potential friends”

 

Makoto: Ah… I guess that might be something Rei would say.

 

Rin: Second terrible, Nagisa - “You are terrible Rin-chan!” *giggle* *giggle* *wink* *wink*

 

Makoto: Lol I guess I get the difference now.

 

Makoto: Well for my part the terrible was just me saying - “Rin you should share more of your wonderful self with the world”

 

Makoto: Ah, I have said something embarrassing but I hope Rin won’t mind

 

Rin: Look Haru!

 

Having successfully used Haru’s appearance to put an end to the stream of texts, Rin took a moment to bury his blushing face in his hands as he struggled to calm himself. Makoto was too sweet for his own good. Rin didn’t even like sweets but if it was Makoto, Rin was sure he would have nothing but sweets for the rest of his life.

 

* * *

 

“Nanase-sensai, my name is Toko Akihito. I am 6 years old. I just starting swimming and I am learning Freestyle. I saw you swim on TV. You were very beautiful. I want to swim like you. So I am going to work very hard.”

 

Haru was actually surprised at how pumped he was by the time it was time to swim in the finals. it wasn’t that he was craving the medal or determine to set a new record. Haru doubted winning for the sake of winning would ever motivate him. What was motivating him was something totally different, love. His love of swimming and his desire to share that love with the others. Afterall, he was the boy who wore a girl’s swimsuit, uncaring of what anyone would say so Nagisa, who he had just met, wouldn’t quit swimming.

 

“Nanase-sensai, I cannot tell you how beautiful you look to me when you swam in the 200m. I used to swim in high school but I gave it up when I got to college. Too busy with studies, partying, boys and part-time job and everything! But after watching you. I thought to myself, what am I doing that is so important that I no longer do something I really love. So yesterday I want swimming. I had forgotten how good the water could feel. - Yuri Minami”

 

Makoto wasn’t with him, that day, the day he swam in a girl’s swimsuit for Nagisa. Haru couldn’t remember what exactly had kept Makoto away but it was Ren and Ran related he was sure. Haru suspected it was the day Mrs. Tachibana was giving birth to Ren and Ran but it could have been shortly before or shortly the twins were born and Makoto had to stay home a lot to help out. Haru was ashamed to admit it but there was a time in his life when he really disliked Ren and Ran because they kept Makoto from him. He was over it now. Now, he loved Ren and Ran as if they were his own siblings. Actually, he probably loved Ren and Ran more than he could ever love his own siblings because they had all the warmth that Makoto himself has. His own siblings might have been a bit too like himself for that kind of affection.

 

“I started crying when I saw you swim. It was so beautiful. I never learnt to swim as a child. Didn’t really think I was interested in it. I only got to watch you swim because the TV was on in the background while I was cooking. Nothing else was on so I had it on the games. But then I saw you swim and I just couldn’t take my eyes off you. I was moved and I don’t even know why. I want to learn to swim now. I am 55, I hope its not too late for me. - Yamamoto Seiji”

 

Haru wondered if Ren and Ran were watching. If they were looking forward to their next outing to the community pool. It would be too cold to swim in their school’s outdoor pool now. Come of think of it, where anyone taking them to the community pool? Surely they were old enough. He and Makoto went a lot of places by themselves at that age. It’s just that both Makoto and him were used to spoiling Ren and Ran that the twins seemed to be maturing slower than they had. Or was it that Makoto matured quickly because Haru had always been, as his mother put it, “a little adult”. He hoped not. He hated the idea of Makoto maturing too quickly because of Haru.

 

“My name is Momoko Koko. I am 7 years old. My parents said I could either join the swim club or the archery club. I couldn’t decide since I want to learn both but then I saw you swim and I knew I had to learn to swim too! I hope you will win the rest of your events, Nanase-sensei!”

 

Haru really wanted to hear from Ren and Ran but he had been finishing too late to call them. Maybe after everything was over, he and Makoto will sit down and call the twins together. Strange as it may sound, he hoped Ren and Ran would become his fans. Just like they were Makoto’s fans. They had even written fan letters to Makoto. Of course, they hadn’t posted it to Makoto’s agency like his other fans. They had sent it to his home address. Haru would love for a cute fan mail from Ren and Ran. He didn’t think he was the type of care about other people’s opinions, especially strangers but he had been handed a printout of fan messages that people had submitted through the Team Japan official website and reading through them, he had become pumped and motivated.

 

“I used to swim. I can’t anymore. I am too old. But watching you brings back fond memories. So please swim with all your heart and bring back a lot of gold for Japan. - Midorima Takao”

 

He had meant to only glance at it, just to appease the Team Japan PR officer who had handed it to him, beaming and looking happy. There was the usual stuff about his swimming being beautiful and how fast he was but there were also stories of getting inspired, getting motivated or just remembering what it was like to swim now that swimming seemed to no longer be an option for the person sending the message. It was then that Haru had felt love well-up inside him. His love for the water for swimming and for better of or for worse, winning seemed to be the best way to spread that love.

 

It was only that time against Rin that winning had actually been the straw that broke the camels back and drove someone away from swimming. But most of the time, winning was the most efficient way to share his love and so he was going to win. With that, and from a signal from a games assistant, Haru got-up and followed the other competitors out into the pool area.

 

* * *

 

Makoto sat transfixed as he watched Haru glide through the water, with each stroke he was pulling further and further away. His competitors seemed almost uncouth next to Haru and his beautiful form. “You really are a dolphin, Haru,” Makoto found himself thinking, “Why were you born on land when you clearly belong in the water?” he wondered, “But I am glad you did,” he thought and stood-up with the others and clapped as loudly as he could, mindful that he promised Haru he wouldn’t scream, “Because I got to meet Haru.”

 

Down in his section Rin was screaming himself as he cheered with the rest of Team Japan. First 100m gold since 1998. A new Asian record, and thus a new games and national record. A part of him wished he was down there too! Swimming with and against Haru. But this time they would not tie. Rin knew that. A fire was burning inside Haru that was propelling him forward at high speed towards a future that Rin was sure would be glorious. Perhaps Rin himself had grown in the past few months because he wasn’t feeling despair. If anything, he was feeling motivated himself. A renewed vigor to swim freestyle as well as butterfly and swim with Haru in various relay teams and against him in the 100m. But for now he would put all his emotions into cheering for Haru, even if Haru didn’t look like he needed the extra encouragement.

 

* * *

 

Makoto: Congratulations Haru!

 

Haru: Thanks. I want to be with you but apparently I have to stick around for press stuff.

 

Makoto: It’s okay. But I have to get going to start preparing for the show. Rin’s coming with me now since he doesn’t have anything else to do. You have the spare room keys right. The one for my room and the one for my dressing room.

 

Haru: Yeah. I also got permission from management to see your show. They weren’t happy but I have won enough gold for them already.

 

Makoto: Are you sure its okay? You don’t have to come to my show, its just the same songs you have heard already.

 

Haru: Makoto...

 

Makoto: My dressing room has a bed because well, its just a normal hotel room in which they dumped some of the costumes and makes space for the make-up artists equipment. But  you can have a nap before heading down to the show. My set is pretty late and I don’t want to wear Haru-chan out.

 

Haru: Alright.

 

Makoto: I’ll see you soon Haru!

 

* * *

 

Shiori had organised food to be delivered to Makoto’s dressing room. By now, used to the tight times, Makoto begged Rin’s apology for his rudeness and started to stuff his face in a way that rendered talking moot. Rin didn’t mind and ate his own meal, which Shiori had also organised, in silence while thoroughly enjoying Makoto’s cute “stuffed full” face.

 

Rin was only halfway in his own meal when Makoto rushed into the shower. He wasn’t in there for five minutes when the make-up artist, hairdresser and customer came in. Makoto begged a few more minutes through the bathroom door but was soon out, his hair still wet, wearing nothing but a bathrobe.

 

On account of communal showers, there was nothing under the bathrobe Rin had not seen and beside, there was just too many people in the small room for Rin to feel anything but annoyed at the prospect of Makoto’s “goods” being seen by strangers. Makoto himself had gotten used to stranger touching his body and treating him like a doll and so quietly subjected himself to be fussed over.

 

Rin finished his meals, took the meal trays out into the corridor so they could be collected and then decided to go for a walk around the block and give Makoto some space to get ready. Rin was gone for fifteen to twenty minutes before deciding that Makoto was most likely ready, given that he didn’t have any elaborate costumes or anything like that.

 

As it was the make-up artist was still there, putting on the finishing touches but the others were gone. Leaving Makoto in what Rin guessed was considered “rock chic” with a hairstyle to match. “You look hot!” Rin exclaimed.

 

“Thanks,” Makoto said with a grin.

 

“Please hold still for a little while longer, Mako-chan,” begged the make-up artist in a small voice, barely above a whisper.

 

“Sorry,” Makoto apologised as Rin started to poke around the other stuff in the room. Ordinarily, the room was a good sized twin room with plenty of space around the bed and the other furniture. Now one of the beds had been covered with clothes and that was in addition to the cloths that were filling the room’s wardrobe.

 

There were a bunch of costumes that looked like they belonged to a visual kei band. More of the “rock chic” clothes and for some bizarre reason a maid’s costume. Rin picked-up the maid’s hairband and stared at it perplexed, “Put it on,” came Makoto’s voice.

 

Rin turned around to see that Makoto was alone, the Make-up artist having left while Rin was preoccupied. “What?” demanded Rin.

 

“I think its part of the costume of the Le Vierge Rouge,” said Makoto, “They are a visual kei band that dress-up as maids when performing. I am sharing dressing rooms with them. I think they are on stage right now,” he commented, checking a nearby watch.

 

“But why maids?” wondered Rin, “More importantly why do you want to see me as a maid?”

 

“I think Shiori-san said it was a play on the name. Apparently, their name means ‘the red virgin’ in french and virgins can be referred to as ‘maids’. So as a joke they dress-up as french maids,” explained Makoto, he was blushing but Rin was sure his blush wasn’t related to the visual kei band’s naming choice.

 

“And you want to see me as a french maid because….” Rin prompted. Makoto mumbled something, “I didn’t catch that,” Rin said.

 

“Gou told us about how you dressed-up as a maid for the maid and butler cafe for Samezuka cultural fair. She didn’t take pictures since she said you wouldn’t let her but,” Makoto’s blush deepened, “I always wondered what you looked like.”

 

“Pervert,” Rin said with a smirk, “Oh so is that your kink!”

 

“What? No! Not at all!” protested Makoto.

 

Rin pressed on anyway, “So you want me to dress-up as a maid,” he put on the headband, “And then say,” Rin upped the pitch of his voice and did his best to sound like a girl, “Welcome master.”

 

Makoto blushed a deep, deep red, “That’s…” he couldn’t finish. He was drowning in cuteness.

 

“Or maybe that’s not enough for a hardcore pervert like you!” suggest Rin.

 

“Eh!”

 

“Maybe you prefer a cat-maid!” suggest Rin, slowly, unconsciously seductively walking towards Makoto, “Maybe it’s more, welcome master,” he raised his hand to make cat paw-like fists, “nyaan,” Makoto laughed, blushed and looked like he couldn’t decide what he wanted to do exactly, laugh more or be totally embarrassed, “Or maybe its more,” Rin saddled the still seating Makoto and wrapped his arms around Makoto’s neck, “Welcome back, Master Mako-chan, nyaan,” and kissed Makoto on his lips.

 

“Shit!” screamed a voice in Rin’s head as he realised what he had done and he quickly pulled away and would have gotten right off Makoto but stopped when he realised Makoto’s arms had at some point come-up to wrap around his waist.

 

“Rin,” Makoto said, his voice full of shock and confusion.

 

“I love you,” Rin blurted out and was then surprised to see he had used the word love and not the more tempered like. But then, Rin knew the difference between like and love and he knew he loved Makoto. So why pretend otherwise. “I…” Rin’s words failed him as Makoto sat dumbstruck. So Rin gave-up on words and kissed Makoto again, noting that Makoto let him and not only that, was kissing him back. Makoto wasn’t rejecting him, Makoto was…

 

A dull thud sounded behind Rin, startling him and making him instinctively get off and away from Makoto, “Haru!” cried Makoto.

 

It was Haru, who had just opened the door and had seen them kissing. The thud had been his bag that he had dropped in his surprise. He hadn’t even crossed the threshold. The look on his face… hurt, betrayal, jealousy? Rin wasn’t sure but he had never seen Haru look so expressive.

 

Haru turned and ran. “Haru!” cried Makoto again and followed. Seemingly forgetting all about Rin.

 

As for Rin, he sank down on the nearest bed, wondering how harmless teasing had led to a premature confession. Wondering if Makoto had accepted or rejected him. Wondering if he had just screwed-up and lost two of his closest friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey! Have you seen the great artwork produced by reader of Losing Makoto? Please enjoy [this MakoHaru](http://viella-art.tumblr.com/post/70967955850/) pic by [viella-art](http://viella-art.tumblr.com/post/70967955850/bit-of-makoharu-since-ive-been-reading-a-fic)  @ Tumblr and [this beautiful Makoto pic](http://lordzuuko.tumblr.com/post/74485007849) by [lordzuuko](http://lordzuuko.tumblr.com/post/74485007849) @ Tumblr. I am of course trying to distract you all with pretty art because well… now you find out why this fic is classified as angst! Also my Tumblr [tinnictheguardian](http://tinnictheguardian.tumblr.com/) for those interested.
> 
>  
> 
> On to references, the bit about Haru putting on a girl’s swimsuit for Nagisa was from the Drama CDs. Basically, Nagisa’s sisters played a plank on him for first day of swim club (for Nagisa that is). Nagisa met Haru (who was without Makoto on that day and since its such a rare thing, I decided that it was Ren and Ran related) in the locker room where he had discovered he didn’t have proper swimsuit and commented that he “hated swimming”. So Haru swapped his swimsuit with Nagisa and worse the girl’s swimsuit into the pool. Relevant in full below,
> 
>  
> 
> NAGISA: Ahhh!
> 
> HARUKA: What’s wrong?
> 
> NAGISA: My swimsuit… there’s a girl’s swimsuit in my bag… This is my sister’s… That’s so mean… They did it on purpose, I just know it… Now I can’t swim… I hate swimming! [cries]
> 
> HARUKA: You can really hate swimming over something like that?
> 
> NAGISA: Eh?
> 
> HARUKA: If you don’t like that swimsuit, you can wear mine.
> 
> NAGISA: But… then what will you do, Nanase-kun?
> 
> HARUKA: [picks up girl's swimsuit] I’ll wear this instead.
> 
> NAGISA: Eh?!
> 
> HARUKA: Being a girl or a boy doesn’t matter when you’re in the water. What you wear doesn’t matter. As long as I can swim… as long as I can feel the water… that’s all that matters.
> 
>   


	35. Chapter 35

While Makoto is not necessarily great at making his way in life, he is able to find the friends he needs. Once he is close to someone, he will never betray them. Romantically, he is the type to concentrate strong love onto his partner. However, he could be a bit feared because his love is too deep.. - Free! Character Horoscope, Newtype magazine

 

“Haru!” Haru ignored the cries and kept on running, he needed to get into the water. He was a fool to think anything, anyone other than the water could be trusted. A fool.

 

“Haru stop! Please!” begged Makoto. Haru didn’t. Instead he yanked open the door to the stairwell and started heading down, “Haru!”

 

Makoto tripped over himself as he tried to take the stairs two at a time like Haru was stumbled and hit the wall at the bottom of the flight of stairs. That did it. Long conditioned to respond to Makoto in distress, Haru stopped and reached for Makoto, “Don’t do that you idiot!” he barked, “Watch where you are going!”

 

“Haru!” Makoto hugged him, effectively trapping him but at the same time keeping his arms loose so that if Haru wanted to pull away, he easily could. It was so Makoto that for the moment, Haru lost all will to resist, “I am sorry, Haru! I am so sorry!”

 

“You should be,” thought Haru but, “Makoto, why are you saying sorry?” asked Haru, his face still pressed against Makoto’s chest.

 

“I hurt Haru,” replied Makoto readily, “I am sorry, Haru. Rin kissed me and said he was in love with me and I didn’t think. I started kissing him back. I am sorry, I shouldn’t have done that, not when I knew how Haru felt.”

 

Perhaps by instinct but most likely due to the long years they had spent together, Haru sensed that they were not on the same wavelength, “Makoto, why do you think I was hurt?”

 

Makoto was taken back at the question, surely there was only one explanation as to why Haru was so upset. But then why was Haru asking him that question? “Because… because Haru likes Rin?” offered Makoto tentatively, not as confident of his answer after Haru’s question. But that had to be the only explanation right?

 

Haru tore out of his arms, “You! You idiot!” cried Haru, “I am in love with you!”

 

Makoto was floored. No, no, this couldn’t be, this wasn’t right. How? When? Why? “Why didn’t you tell me!” Makoto finally demanded, “Why didn’t you… why did you let… Zakki-chan…” the words died in Makoto’s throat as his thoughts scattered. As for Haru, he was never good with words…

 

* * *

 

Shiori was having a bad day. Today’s line-up consisted mostly of stars. Young spoilt stars who who thought throwing tantrums before and after a show was their right as stars. There was a reason she always dropped these creatures once they had “made it” and pushed them on to managers with more patience or at least with the kind of personality that allowed them to put-up with the trouble making idiots.

 

Of course, most of them would grow out it. Maturing and settling down but some of them never would grow out of being rebels, since no one stayed at the top forever, would inevitable reach a point where getting them work would become a chore because they simply would not remain hot enough to be worth the trouble.

 

That said, Shiori was fairly confident Makoto was different. He seemed like the type of reach the top and still remain humble and wondering how someone like him managed to be at the top. Indeed, Makoto was the first person Shiori was considering staying the manager off even after his inevitable superstardom. If only because there was something utterly innocent and honest about Makoto that Shiori wanted to protect from the vultures in showbiz. Speaking of vultures, “What are you doing here, Shinji?” demanded Shiori, instantly annoyed at the site of the failed idol turned composer.

 

“You didn’t get the memo?” Shinji asked with a smirk, “Management wanted me around to mingle since all the songs Tachibana was going to be singing were written by me,” he said, sounding incredible self satisfied.

 

Shiori had heard rumours just before she was set to go on holidays but she didn’t think management would actually do it. She had certainly advised her boss that Shinji was a huge risk overseas due to his history with drugs but clearly someone, somewhere had decided it was worth the risk. But that didn’t mean Shiori had to like it, “Don’t get in trouble!”

 

“You are always so suspicious, Shiori-san!” Shinji whined.

 

Their conversation was brought to an end at the approach of a frantic looking assistant. It seemed the lead singer of the rock band that was suppose to be on stage after the current set had decided he wasn’t doing the show unless someone got him an Anpan. Needless to say, Anpan was proving difficult to get a hold of. So they had decided to move ahead the set of Makoto, gentle, reliable Makoto, while management found some way to appease the tantruming singer. They had about 30 minutes before Makoto would need to be one stage. Cursing again all stars to hell, Shiori decided to walk over to the hotel and escort Makoto back herself.

 

* * *

 

Haru treats those, whom he feels he can open up his heart to, like family. Because of that, he does not like being with people who only act like his friends on the surface. He has a deep relationship with only a few friends. Romantically, he is fully devoted. He is the type to give himself over completely to his other half. However, he tends to get highly jealous.  - Free! Character Horoscope, Newtype magazine

 

“I thought about what it would be like to be with Haru like that when you kissed me back in Middle School,” Makoto admitted, “That’s why when Zakki-chan confessed to me, I didn’t immediately accept. I didn’t reject her because it was Zakki-chan but I wanted to know if the kiss meant more to Haru than just a first kiss with a best friend because it was easier. But you didn’t… you said…” Makoto couldn’t go on, “Why did you do that, Haru!” Makoto demanded.

 

Damn it, he had to explain himself but then he had explained himself to Nagisa and Rei, so why not Makoto. “Someone saw us kiss,” Haru explained, “Afterwards, I found both our lockers vandalised with with bits of paper with homophobic slurs and used condoms and other stuff,” Makoto’s eye’s widened in surprise, “You were late. So I cleaned-up both our lockers and acted as if nothing had happened. But that’s when I decided being with you was not as important as protecting you from people who would hate us just because we loved each other. That’s why, I was okay with Aki even though seeing you with Aki...” Haru didn’t need to put into words his feels because Makoto could clearly read the pain and heartbreak Haru had been feeling at the time. How had he missed it? How could he have not noticed his best friend was in so much pain?

 

“I knew Aki would never come between us,” Haru went on, “We would always be best friends and Aki would actually help make sure we stayed friends. I had this vision of us staying exactly were we are now but with you and Aki married with kids, living in your house. I would babysit your kids when you and Aki go on date nights. I would water your garden and look after the cats you will inevitably have when you take your family on vacation. But we’ll still game, still go shopping together and just be best friends,” Haru felt as if he was about to cry, Makoto actually was tearing-up, “Forever and ever. I was okay with not having your romantic love if I could… if you would just have a normal life with a wife and kids. I was okay with Aki,” Haru repeated, “But Rin!”

 

Haru was angry but he wasn’t sure who he was angry at. But the black rage was welling-up from somewhere deep inside his heart and he couldn’t stop it, “What have I been suffering for? What have I been protecting your from if you just end-up with Rin!”

 

“Haru I…” he what? Makoto didn’t know, “You should have told me Haru! I wouldn’t have cared about the bullies. I never cared about the bullies if I could just be with Haru! I mean its not like,” Makoto stopped himself.

 

“Not like what, Makoto?” demanded Haru.

 

“I was okay with not having any friends except for Haru,” replied Makoto, “When Haru wasn’t there, I didn’t like it. It was meaningless without Haru there to share my day with me. But its not like I didn’t get bullied for just being Haru’s friend! Zaki-chan was always amazing but there were others who would pick-on me even as they would start off approaching me to be my friend but then when I bought-up Haru, they would… just turn on me. But I didn’t care! Because Haru was worth it! Haru’s always been worth it! So you should have told me!”

 

“I am telling you now,” pointed out Haru, “I love you. I have always loved you. So…” Haru trailed off, waiting for Makoto to say something, anything.

 

“I… care about Rin,” Makoto admitted as Haru felt his eyes grow wide, “I care about him a lot but if its…”

 

“No!” Haru suddenly cried, “I don’t want to be the one you choose between me and Rin. I want to be the only one you can ever imagine being with because I can only ever imagine being with you. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life being jealous of whatever portion of your heart Rin has managed to capture or even Aki! I want all of you Makoto!”

 

“Haru! You are asking too much!” whimpered Makoto, overwhelmed by the intensity of Haru’s feeling, of his own feelings. “Aki and I were together for three years. I hated breaking-up with her. I still sometimes think about what it would be like to just run into her. Of taking her out to coffee to catch-up and then… I don’t know!” why was this so confusing, “And Rin, I was practically living with him Haru! Over the course of this year I felt I really got to know Rin. Really got to see his entire self, the fragility of his heart and idealism of his dreams. Now he told me that he’s fallen for me. I can’t just… not think about it!”

 

It was all the wrong things to say, “But your mine!” cried Haru, jealously tearing into his heart and all but overwhelming him. Indeed, he was moments away from slamming Makoto into the wall and doing and saying things he would no doubt regret but then Makoto’s phone rang.

 

Before Makoto could react the door to the stairwell opened, “There you are,” it was Shiori, “What did you do to Matsuoka? He looked like he was on the verge of tears but when I approached him, he totally lashed out and ran out of the room.”

 

“Where is he now?” asked Makoto, suddenly panicked, wondering if Rin had heard anything. Because surely the distressed Rin would not wait for a lift just like Haru hadn’t.

 

“A lift door conveniently opened as he headed his way and he took it up,” said Shiori.

 

“Up?”

 

“I don’t think he was thinking straight,” she explained, “Which bring me to my question, what did you do to him? Indeed, what’s wrong with you? Have you been crying?” she turned towards Haru and was startled to see the raw rage pasted all over his face, “What’s going on?”

 

Makoto didn’t know how to answer, but for once Haru did, “I am not going to settle for pieces of you Makoto,” Haru said with finality, “I want all of you!” with that Haru headed-up, past Shiori, remembering his bag now that a cold, calm had descended on him. He still wanted to slip into the water as soon as possible but he was now calm enough to put it off until he reached the athletes village.

 

“Well…” said Shiroi, “Dare I ask?” she wondered. Makoto didn’t reply, still reeling from everything that’s happened. Shiori sighed, “We need to go, they moved your set up.”

 

* * *

 

Somehow, Rin found himself in the roof, just staring blankly over the city scape. His mind was strangely blank and he was happy for it to be so. He didn’t want to think about the last hour or so. But he knew that was impossible. Soon his mind would open and he would begin to think. But for now, he was enjoying the silence inside his head.

 

His moment of peace was broken by the vibration of his phone. Sighing he reached for it. It was a message from Makoto.

 

They moved my set up. So I am leaving for the venue. Haru’s left. I think he’s going back to the village. Rin

 

The message cut-off. Did Makoto accidentally hit send or did he hit send because he didn’t know what else to type and in his agitation didn’t end the message currently. Rin was just about to put the phone away when it vibrated again.

 

I really care about you Rin. But Haru… is Haru. I didn’t know he was in love with me. I thought I knew everything about him. But I can’t just forget you. So… I am confused Rin! I am sorry. But please bear with me.

 

Rin put away his phone. It wasn’t an acceptance but it wasn’t a rejection either. It was limbo but for some strange reason that made him feel better. After a moment he decided he would go and attend Makoto’s show. If for no other reason than to support Makoto.

 

* * *

 

Makoto typed out the messages to Rin as he and Shiori waited for the lift, finishing it in the lift with his phone successfully sending it once they were in the lobby. Makoto considered sending a message to Haru but what would he say? No, Haru had made clear what Makoto had to do. Makoto just needed to get his own thoughts and feelings straight before he could even think about approaching Haru. If he approached Haru in the confused state he was now, he would do more damage than good and that was the last thing he wanted.

 

“Makoto,” Shiori cut into his thoughts, “I don’t know what’s happening but please remember you are a professional. You can’t let your personal life affect your performance or at least do you best to make sure it doesn’t.”

 

Makoto nodded. He wasn’t sure if he had the professional pride that he was supposed to but he knew that a lot of people had been supporting him and working hard with him, like Shiori, Shinji and his backup band. He couldn’t let them down, he just couldn’t!

 

Although if part of him being professional meant hiding his turmoil, he clearly wasn’t doing a good job because the first thing out of Shinji’s mouth when he saw Makoto was, “You don’t look so good! Are you sure you can perform?”

 

“He’ll be fine!” said Shiori, “Take him to the waiting area,” Shiori told an assistant who was nearby, “It shouldn’t be long now.”

 

In the waiting area Makoto found himself slumping into a chair. Ah, this was no good. He was supposed to be more perky and cheerful. But right now he just wanted to curl up and cry. He had hurt Haru! The one person he never wanted to hurt! And no matter how he looked at it, he was going to end-up hurting someone. Either Haru or Rin and he didn’t want to do either!

 

“Hey,” it was Shinji, “Here, drink this,” he passed Makoto a water bottle, “Cheer-up. Well, the drink will help with that.”

 

Makoto wasn’t sure how water was supposed to help him cheer-up. If anything it was just depressing him more since nothing reminded him more of Haru then water. But he supposed having a perched throat wasn’t going to help him. So he quietly took the water and drank it down. It tasted a little funny and seemed to leave him more thirsty than before.

 

* * *

 

Rin was happy to see that Makoto’s performance was not affected. He wouldn’t have forgiven himself if Makoto hadn’t been able to get on stage and sing his heart out. Rin wasn’t delusional enough to think that Makoto was at his best. Other people might not be able to tell but Rin could tell that Makoto was struggling. His voice was flawless as ever but his body language was subdued, there wasn’t the joy Rin had previously seen. He also seemed to be guzzling water between songs.

 

Thankfully Makoto only had three songs to perform: Rage On, Walk and Catal Rhythm, having just a short set. It was a success and Makoto was applauded and calls were made for an encore. Unfortunately for Makoto, who really did just want to bring the set to a close while he was still feeling strangely light despite everything, the lead singer of the other band was still throwing a fit and so the word was pass to Makoto to sing something else. It was a good thing that both Makoto and the back-up band had practiced for this scenario.

 

So Makoto sang Ever Blue. Makoto had been the one to write the song and he had been thinking of his friends, all his friends including Rin and Haru when he wrote the song. So it was unsurprising that tears started to roll down his eyes half way through the the song. But his voice didn’t falter, so at least that was something.

 

* * *

 

Rin left the club straight after Makoto’s set finished. For some time he just loitered outside, wondering if he should go back in and try and find Makoto. But then he remembered Makoto’s tear streaked face and decided he had done enough to upend Makoto’s emotional well being for one night. Besides, Makoto would probably have to mingle with the high profile guests now.

 

So Rin headed home to the athletes village, where he would have to face Haru. Maybe he would go somewhere else. Have some coffee or something. Or maybe just walk around for a bit. Physical activity always cheered him up.

 

Thinking these things, Rin turned a corner and noticed an ambulance barreling down the road and head in the direction he just came from. He kept walking but for some reason he couldn’t get the sound of the ambulance’s sirens out of his head. Seemingly randomly, Rin thought of Makoto. Rin came to a dead stop and then suddenly, seized by a compulsion he couldn’t quite explain, Rin turned and ran back the way he came. The way the ambulance had gone.

 

* * *

There was a pool in the athletes village. A leisure pool used mainly by the non-swimming athletes to relax and maybe do a little bit of training. That’s where haru was, floating aimlessly and wondering how it had come to this. How he had missed the signs that Rin was falling in love with Makoto and that, at some level, Makoto was returning it. His feelings were a mess and he was trying desperately to sort it all out. There was anger, there was jealousy, even a twinge of sadness but strangely there was no fear.

 

 

Haru wasn’t afraid of losing Makoto. How could he when he loved Makoto so much. Surely Makoto would, “Nanase!” screamed Mikoshiba, rushing into the pool area and interrupted Haru’s thoughts, “Nanase, get out of the pool. You have to come with me.”

 

Haru sat up in the water but made to move to come towards the edge, instead he blinked in confusion as he floated in place. Mikoshiba had a look of panic written all across his face, “Matsuoka called me. It’s Tachibana,” he said, the words rushed, his tone confused, as if he didn’t know how best to say what he was about to say, “He’s been taken to the hospital,” now the panic was beginning to infect Haru as the ice cold fingers of fear started to grip his heart, “He’s in a coma,” Mikoshiba continued, “From water poisoning.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, water poisoning is a thing.


	36. Chapter 36

He was drowning in a pitch black sea with monstrous waves. Big, monstrous waves kept crashing down on him, forcing him down below the water surface, stealing his air. But it it wasn’t just the waves, something had wrapped around his legs and was pulling him under. The touch paralyzed him and he could not move his legs, so all he could to was frantically use his arms to pull himself towards… towards what? He couldn’t see anything! All around him was the darkness of night and seemingly endless ocean. What was he swimming for? Where was he swimming to?

 

Just as Makoto was about to give-up, he saw something, he wasn’t sure but he thought he caught a glimpse of a sandy shore. Yes! There it was! A small light on a beach. Makoto started to swim towards it. Even fighting against the paralysis in his legs, willing them to move as he moved what muscles he could. Finally he reached the shore. But then was filled immediately with despair!

 

The bit of land was no larger than a room and contained nothing but an old fashioned but miraculously lit lantern, sitting outside a storm ravaged tent. Makoto collapsed on the sand. He was lost, confused and utterly alone. How did this happen? How did he get here? The last thing he remembered was being very, very thirsty and drinking lots of water. Shiori-san was telling him he had to go mingle with the guests. He was going to but he needed just one more drink of water…

 

Then he was here. Wherever here is. But even if he didn’t know what here was, he knew why he was here. This was his punishment for hurting Haru and adding to Rin’s suffering. He deserved to be here, alone, surrounded by raging seas.

 

* * *

 

By the time Rin got back to the club, the ambulance was already driving away. He picked-up snippets of conversation in Japanese and English that seemed to indicate that someone had collapsed. Nobody outside seemed to know from what but they were happy to speculate. Rin ignored them and tried to get back into the club.

 

His passes easily got him in and then he made a beeline for the backstage. Now that he was actually here, he was feeling rather silly for thinking any of this had anything to do with Makoto. He had seen Makoto on stage less than an hour ago. Surely nothing had happened but somehow, Rin just needed to see Makoto to put his mind at ease. He didn’t even need to talk to him, just seeing him from afar was enough.

 

“Stop,” said someone in english, Rin looked-up to find himself face to face with a Korean security guard, “Only performers and their assistants past this point.”

 

“I have a backstage pass,” said Rin as he held it up, “My friend is back there and I just want to meet-up with him.”

 

The security guard scrutinised his pass closely but even after he was satisfied it was genuinely, did not see inclined to let Rin pass, “Who is your friend?”

 

“Tachibana Makoto,” said Rin.

 

The security guard immediately stiffened and Rin’s stomach plummeted, “Come with me,” he said, after a minute, “I’ll take you to his manager.”

 

The guard led Rin not backstage but away towards what Rin guessed were the office area accessible only by the staff. Unlike the backrooms designated for use by performers the new area was almost devoid of people. One guard stood outside the office to which Rin was being ushered towards, which made Rin really worried. Why did they need a guard outside the office? As they neared the office, Rin could hear slightly raised voices speaking in Japanese.

 

“It’s not my fault! I was just trying to help!” came a male voice.

 

“By slipping him ecstasy! Even if he wasn’t a minor, you still spiked his fucking water! And now he’s collapsed. Its clearly water poisoning, so he’s likely in a coma. He might die!” replied a female voice.

 

Rin froze, he knew the female voice. Actually he knew both the voices, Shinji and Shiori. Wait what did Shiori just say…

 

“Makoto’s not going to die! He just… collapsed. I am sure he’ll be…” Rin pushed the door open, even as he struggled against the security guard who was trying to block his path.

 

“You fucking bastard!” he was screaming, “What did you do to Makoto!!!”

 

“Matsuoka calm down!” said Shiori, dropping the honorific in her agitation, as she moved towards him.

 

“I didn’t do anything! I keep telling you people,” protested Shinji, “Makoto looked awful! He was barely holding it together. No fucking way he could perform. So I helped him out a little. How was I supposed to know he was going to drink water until he collapsed.”

 

“O you fucking bastard!” screamed Rin, both the guards were now restraining him, “Let me go! I am going to kill that motherfucking asshole.”

 

“You will do no such thing!” declared Shiori, “Not unless you want to lose that shiny medal you just won because you punched Shinji’s lights out. Did you forget that the Asian Games is organised Olympic Council of Asia and they have that charming ‘bringing the games into disrepute’ clause for stripping medals and banning athletes.”

 

“I don’t care about that!” screamed Rin, he would think of himself as little more than trash if he ever put a medal above his friends.

 

“But I am sure Makoto wouldn’t forgive himself if you lost your medal over him,” said Shiori calmly.

 

“But that bastard…”

 

“Matsuoka-kun,” Shiori said firmly, “I am going to act in a way that assumes Makoto is going to be just fine. I suggest you do the same,” she declared, “For now, please calm down and wait outside. I’ll deal with Shinji and then we can go see Makoto together,” she nodded to the guards, they bodily removed Rin, who gave-up and swallowed back his intense desire to beat-up on Shinji. Rin was now just calm enough to reluctantly agree that getting thrown in jail for assault was not going to help anyone, let alone Makoto.

 

Left on his own, ironically with a bottle of water, Rin contemplated whether to call Haru or not. Haru had a race tomorrow but then again, Haru was already plenty disturbed. Although a hospitalised Makoto was something else entirely. Rin knew Haru wasn’t going to race tomorrow if he found out about Makoto. Rin was sure Shiori wasn’t going to call Haru and maybe Haru would spend the next 24 hours oblivious to Makoto’s condition.

 

Rin started laughing, this was absurd. There was only one right answer. Only one thing to do. Rin called Haru. Haru didn’t pick-up. Haru was either in their shared room or the pool. Most likely, he wasn’t paying attention to his phone or deliberately ignoring it because of what had happened earlier. So Rin called the only other person he could call a friend within Team Japan, he called Mikoshiba.

 

* * *

 

Shiori hadn’t been surprised when Rin told her that he had called Haru but she was surprised to find both Haru and Mikoshiba at the agreed pick-up point near the athlete’s village. Mikoshiba’s race was over, he had won silver, and so he was free, actually freer than Haru who was violating a bunch of rules by leaving the village at this time of the night, so there was no way Mikoshiba was not going to come along. Especially when Haru was nearly catatonic in his shock.

 

“Haru,” whispered Rin, when the two of them piled into the back of the rental car that had Shiori behind the wheel. Haru didn’t seem to hear him.

 

“What happened? I mean, I thought water poisoning only ever happened to Marathon runners,” Mikoshiba asked. Rin had told him very little. Just that Makoto was in the hospital, most likely in a coma from water poisoning.

 

“He was slipped some ecstasy, which is why he was drinking so much,” said Rin, forcing himself to speak. Knowing Haru was listening even if he was unlikely to talk, “I saw Makoto drinking water in between his songs while on stage but I didn’t think he had drunk that much.”

 

“He drunk a litre or two before going on stage,” said Shiori, “I think he finished a litre in the 20 or so minutes he was on stage and straight after coming off, he drank more. It all happened so fast. One moment was I telling him he had to go mingle with the guest and the next, he just dropped on the floor. But he was guzzling water even as I was talking to him. So I think it was most likely water poisoning. The paramedics thought so too but we’ll learn more at the hospital.”

 

“Why does the water always hurt Makoto?” Haru wondered suddenly.

 

There was a moment of silence in the car as all three wondered how to deal with Haru personifying water. Even Rin, who was used to it, didn’t know how to respond. But finally Rin broke the silence, “The water tried to take you too,” he pointed out,  “Maybe it just doesn’t want to two of you to be together,” as soon as he said the words, he regretted them. Indeed, he wasn’t even sure why he had just verbally lashed out at Haru so cruelly but it was too late, the words were said.

 

“Fuck you!” the words had double impact simply because Haru was not given to swearing.

 

“I don’t know for sure what happened between the three of you,” Shiori said sternly, “But it stops now. I am not having you two cause a scene in the hospital.”

 

“I just want to be with Makoto,” said Haru, “I don’t care about anything else.”

 

Mikoshiba cleared his throat, feeling more than a little uncomfortable but someone had to say it, “What about your race?” Haru shot Mikoshiba an incredulously look, “You should let management know you are not swimming,” Mikoshiba added quickly, not really wanting to get Haru angry, “I mean, its probably the last thing on your mind but you do have teammates to consider.”

 

To this Haru could return no reply and so he asked Mikoshiba to kindly call the head coach as he didn’t have his mobile phone with him.

 

* * *

 

Since people’s individuality is important to Rin, he can become friends with someone who is of a completely different type from him. He treats his friends equally, no matter what sort of person they are. Romantically, he is not fond of those who are clingy. He seeks a love with someone where they can both lift each other up, while also putting importance in their own lives. - Free! Character Horoscope, Newtype magazine

 

He must have fallen asleep, there was no other explanation. One minute he was on the deserted island and the next minute he found himself standing in front of a fancy looking apartment door. But he didn’t seem to be in control of his body. Although he could feel it when he reached out and punched in a number to unlock the door. In the entry hall he took off his shoes before entering further and was immediately greeted by a stunning view of the Tokyo skyline that formed the backdrop of a large open plan living area with a kitchen at one end, a living room + dining space. It was very western with a very stylish minimalist decor, accented with animal prints. It all reminded him a little of Rin.

 

So Makoto was unsurprised when the self he was inhabiting but not controlling, calling out for Rin, “Are you home?” asked his self.

 

“I am in the bedroom,” came Rin’s voice.

 

As he body moved towards what Makoto assumed was the bedroom, Makoto heard a soft mewing come from a different room, “Don’t let her out!” warned Rin.

 

“Eh? Why?” wondered the Makoto as he opened the door to reveal, Rin kneeling on the bed in an oversized white dress shirt that was clearly Makoto’s, completely naked from the waist down, “I am going to ride you all night long and that damn cat is a cockblocker!” declared Rin as he smirked sexily.

 

Makoto was shocked and mildly turned on, the “Makoto” whose body Makoto was inhabiting was surprised, pleased and REALLY turned on. The “Makoto” grinned and moved towards the bed, undressing as he went and reached for Rin. Makoto, the real Makoto, did his best to get out of this “Makoto’s” body because it wasn’t right. This “Makoto” was clearly about to make love to his boyfriend and the real Makoto felt too much like a voyeur staying inside his head. But there didn’t seem to be anything he could do to look away as “Makoto” spread Rin open beneath him and made slow, sweet love to him.

 

Next thing Makoto knew, it was morning and he was playing with a fluffy red cat with wine red hair just like Rin, “Let’s get you some breakfast,” he, or rather the “Makoto” whose body he was still living in, told the cat and headed towards the kitchen. The cat obediently followed.

 

Rin was at the breakfast counter, drinking coffee and channel surfing. “I put some stuff out already,” he said, pointing to a filled cat bowl as he settled on a news program. The cat made a beeline for it as Makoto got himself some hot chocolate.

 

“What are your plans for today?” wondered “Makoto”.

 

“Oh, you know,” said Rin airily.

 

“Ah…” whatever the “Makoto” was about to say was lost when a picture of Rin flashed-up on the TV screen.

 

“As we reported last night,” said the sportscaster, “Olympic Butterfly champion Matsuoka Rin has announced his retirement. He made the announcement last night during an interview with our sister program. Here is what he had to say.”

 

They showed a clip of Rin giving an interview that started with the interviewer asking, “So what’s next for Matsuoka Rin, now that you have won Olympic gold on home soil?”

 

“I am retiring and getting married,” declared Rin.

 

The “Makoto” of this reality jumped. Rin had never mentioned retirement. As for marriage… they couldn’t in Japan. Not legally anyway. “Rin what…” he turned towards Rin to find him on bended knee, holding out a silver band studded with a single ruby.

 

“They want you to move to Hollywood right,” said Rin, “So you can try and make it in the US? Well, we can get married in California. So…”

 

“But Rin, what about you?”

 

“I reached the goal I had set for myself,” Rin readily replied, “Now for the next goal. I love swimming and I love cooking. So its time to combine the two and launch a restaurant specialising in healthy but delicious food and a gym specialising in aqua fitness. First I’ll conquer California and then I’ll take over the world!”

 

Makoto laughed, both the real Makoto and the “Makoto” of this reality laughed and said together, “You don’t dream small do you?”

 

“How can I dream small when I have such a giant of a man besides me?” wondered Rin but before Makoto could answer, he was back on the island but this time he was not alone, the red kitty was with him.

 

* * *

 

Haru had once believed that the sight of Makoto’s unconscious, barely breathing, body that night on the beach was the scariest thing he would ever witness. He was wrong. the sight of Makoto’s unconscious, barely breathing, body hooked-up to numerous tubes and machines was something straight out of a horror movie.

 

“Makoto…” Haru cried, “Makoto!” Haru started banging on the glass, “Makoto wake-up! Makoto!” He turned towards the door but it was still blocked by a nurse, struggling to hold her ground against the ferocious looking Rin.

 

“You can’t go in!” she said firmly, “Doctor’s orders.”

 

“Matsuoka calm down! You can’t help any more being in there then you can being out here,” Mikoshiba pointed out.

 

“Can’t help?” thought Haru, “Am I really that helpless? Will Makoto not hear me even if I am in the room? But he can’t hear me through the glass can he?” wondered Haru, then he decided he was going to make Makoto hear and banged on the glass as loudly as he could and screamed Makoto’s name until the nurse called security and had Haru removed. They would have thrown him out but Shiori intervened and had him taken to a waiting area to cool off and calm down.

 

* * *

 

“Makoto!” came a faint voice, carried by the wind but from where Makoto had no way of knowing. But he would know that voice anywhere.

 

“Haru!” Makoto called back, “Haru!” He thought he heard Haru call him again but he couldn’t be sure. It was too faint, “Haru,” Makoto collapsed on the sand as tears started to gather in the corner of his eyes. The cat jumped on his lap and subconsciously, Makoto reached down to scratch it.

 

“What are you doing, Makoto?” came Haru’s voice, distinct and clear and right behind him.

 

Makoto whirled around and came face to face with Haru. Suddenly he realised that he wasn’t on the deserted island anymore. He was still on a beach but this beach was not dissimilar to the beaches of Iwatobi. There was also a mountain behind the beach and perched on the side of the mountain was a house that was a strange but aesthetically pleasing blend of western and Japanese architecture. Instantly Makoto knew that the house belonged to him and Haru. He also knew that Haru probably had a large hand in designing the house.

 

“Makoto?” Haru called again.

 

Once again Makoto found he had no control over the body he found himself in, “Sorry, Haru-chan,” said the Makoto of this reality, “Let’s go back inside,” with that Makoto found himself reaching down to pick-up the cat he had been petting. It turned out to be a black cat with stunning blue eyes.

 

They walked-up wooden steps to reach the house and entered through shoji doors. The room was a standard tatami room with very little furniture. But in the middle of the room was a playpen in which was a little baby boy that somehow had Haru’s eyes but what looked like Makoto’s hair. Perhaps more accurately, Tachibana sandy brown hair, not to mention that trademark Tachibana grin. “Dada!” the boy said and immediately put his arms out toward Haru and Makoto.

 

Haru picked-up the baby boy and headed towards the door at the other end of the door. As soon as Haru slid open the door Makoto was struck dumb with awe. Suddenly his mind flash back to the underwater hotel in Dubai and the sketches Haru had made of a house with wall to wall aquariums. This was that house and before him was that living room Haru had drawn out in meticulous details with specially designed furniture that didn’t interfere with the lines of the aquariums, which were filled with goldfish of all colours and sizes.

 

That was when Makoto remembered the bedrooms. Haru had designed three bedroom. One bedroom with aquariums and a large king size waterbed. Another bedroom that was simple and clean with no aquariums, decorated only with their orca and dolphin lamps. Finally there was the bedroom with painted walls depicting the sea.

 

Makoto, the real Makoto, the powerless, helpless Makoto who was stuck in the role of an observers withered in almost physical agony as he realised the horribly, terribly wrong assumptions he had made regarding those sketches when he first saw them. It was all so clear now! As his other self followed Makoto and the baby, their baby, through the living room into a bedroom, Makoto knew it would be the bedroom with painted walls and ceilings depicting the sea, the bedroom Haru had intended for their child but Makoto had mistaken as the guestroom. He knew better now. It was obvious now that the large king size waterbed was meant to be shared by the two of them as a couple and the real guest room was the plain bedroom decorated with just the orca and dolphin lamps…

 

* * *

 

Haru was back outside Makoto’s room, his face pressed to the glass. His mind blank. He could have been here for hours or days, he couldn’t tell. At some point Shiori had brought him food and drinks. He didn’t have any appetite but Shiori had insisted. He gave and started picking on the food just to make her go away faster.

 

Haru was vaguely aware of Mikoshiba leaving with promises of speaking in person with the coach and explaining the gravity of the situation and why Haru couldn’t come himself to explain. He wasn’t sure where Rin was but he was sure Rin was around somewhere.

 

Rin for his part couldn’t sit still and found himself endlessly pacing the halls, at one point he left the hospital and started walking around the block over and over again. At one point Shiori suggested he return to the athletes village and get some rest. Rin glared at her and resumed his pacing. He would have preferred to be running but didn’t seem to master the energy.

 

* * *

 

“There are no stars,” was the first thought that crossed Makoto’s mind when he found himself back on the deserted island, flat on his back. Just a moment ago he was flat on his back on a waterbed with a naked Haru saddling him and getting ready for round two.

 

The reality with Haru had jarred Makoto to his very core. It was so quiet. He had been there long enough to know he was still in show business but Haru seemed to have done with public life and had withdrawn into that semi-remote location by the sea to devote himself to raising their son and paint. It was a very Haru thing to do. It was also very different to the fast paced, high pressure life Rin had been planning in that reality.

 

Makoto wasn’t dumb. He knew what he had experience. He was being given glimpses of the very different futures that lay ahead of him. Makoto sighed and sat-up. That’s when he realised his deserted island had become a little less deserted as he now had two cats with him. The wine red cat that reminded him of Rin and the black cat that might as well be Haru in cat form.

 

Cat Rin tried to crawl on Makoto’s lap. Cat Haru was having none of it and getting out his claws, viciously slapped Cat Rin. Cat Rin yowled and turned on Cat Haru without a moment’s hesitation.

 

“Stop it!” cried Makoto, “Stop it you two! Don’t fight over me!”

 

Suddenly, Makoto had a flashback to the time when they discussed who they would date among them if they were girls. Makoto had listed the good qualities of each and dodged making a choice by claiming it was too hard. Haru had called him wishy-washy for that and Rei had warned, “Makoto-senpai, You’re going to be in trouble one day.”

 

Makoto started laughing, “You were right Rei,” he said as his laugh slowly turned to sobs, “You too Haru. I am a worthless wishy-washy guy who is in deep, deep trouble! Who doesn’t deserve either of your friendship and love. I don’t...” he thought of Rin offering him a ring on bended knees, he thought of Haru in house that seemed like it was out of a dream with a child in his arms, “I don’t know what I want anymore.”

 

* * *

 

“Hey Makoto,” Haru thought, willing the silent and unconscious Makoto to read his mind like he always did, “If I swim, will you wake-up and come watch me like you always do? If I win, will you get-up and cheer like you always do? Once I finish my race, will you get me out of the pool?” he wondered, “I don’t know what to do Makoto. I am not good for anything but swimming Makoto. So if I swim will this nightmare be over? Makoto?”

 

Absurd as the idea was and deep down Haru knew it was absurd, he was still seized by the concept. Makoto was always there to pull him out of the water. Surely Makoto would… somehow know that Haru was in the water and needed Makoto to come pull him out. Even that time when Haru nearly drowned trying to retrieve Aki’s scarf from the river, Makoto was there to pull him out. Surely this time too Makoto would be there.

 

Haru left the hospital. It had gotten dark but not wearing a watch or having his phone with him, Haru had no idea what time it was exactly. The race would have finish long ago for all he knew. Still he made his way to the aquatic centre and only remembering he had nothing with him once he got there. But as luck would have it, he was seen by a Team Japan official.

 

“Did you come to swim?” asked the official, “I thought you withdrew.”

 

Haru didn’t know what to say but the official didn’t seem to mind Haru’s non-answer and made the necessary arrangements to get Haru passed security and into the locker area where the rest of the relay team had gather, having just won their semi-finals with the alternate freestyle swimmer. They were surprised to see Haru there.

 

“I knew you would come,” someone said, Haru wasn’t really registering his surrounding properly to identify who it was.

 

“Nanase, are you here to swim? Can you swim?” someone asked, doubt lacing his every word.

 

“Nanase, you don’t look so good.”

 

“Coach?”

 

“This once, I will leave the decision with you.”

 

“I think Nanase should swim in the finals. I have a spare jammers he can borrow. We are about the same size.”

 

“He would be taking your place.”

 

“I know.”

 

“He’s clearly not all here and we can win the medley relay without him.”

 

“I know. But I think Nanase should still swim. I mean, he’s here. I don’t think Nanase would bother turning-up if he wasn’t going to give it his all.”

 

“Let him swim,” someone else said, “The people out there, they are waiting to see him swim. Win or lose, they want to see him. So, I think Nanase should swim with us.”

 

That was how Haru ended-up in borrowed jammers and at the starting blocks. His mind curiously blank, almost numb. He saw the touch and reacted on reflex born of long practice. As soon as he hit the water, everything melted away and the belief that Makoto was waiting for him intensified ten folds. Haru didn’t want to keep Makoto waiting so he swam as fast as he could and he was very fast despite being sleep deprived and having not eaten properly all day. He made the turn and sped-up even more, because the belief that Makoto was waiting for him at the end of his lap was just too strong.

 

Then it was over, he touched the pressure pad, stopped the clock in world record time. Surfaced and looked-up to see the hand, the hand that was always there to pull him out of the water. It wasn’t there. There were smiling faces but not the smiling face of Makoto. There were voices raised in loud cheers but none of the voices belonged to Makoto. None of it was there, not the smile, not the voice and especially not the hand. There was no Makoto waiting for Haru.

  
A loud strangled cry rent the air and cut across the cheers of Haru’s teammates. More than seeing Makoto’s unconscious body hooked-up to machines and drips with wires, the absence of Makoto’s hand hit Haru harder. If only because it finally occurred to Haru that that hand may never pull him out of the water ever again. So Haru slipped underwater, even as his teammates screamed his name and even his competitors reached for out of concern. What was the point of getting out of the water, if there was no Makoto outside of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know if I pulled of this chapter...
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway, yes Japan is quite good in the Medley relay. They are the reigning Asian game champions. They even managed a bronze in last years World Aquatic Championship and a silver in the 2012 Olympics. So a medal in the medley relay would be a sure bet with or without Haru.
> 
>  
> 
> Haru and Makoto’s houses are described in the PASH! fanbook for Free! I found it interesting that Makoto lives in a “reformed from its original Japanese style to a more Western style” while Haru’s house is “refined Japanese house that is over 30 years old”. Made me think that Haru and Makoto’s house would be a blend of Japanese and Western to reflect the types of houses the two of them are used to living just with aquarium for walls!
> 
>  
> 
> Also the boys discussing who they would date comes from the Drama CD 1. Basically Nagisa wondered who they would pick as their boyfriends if they were girls. Relevant sequence is as follows,
> 
>  
> 
> NAGISA: Then what about you, Mako-chan? Who would you go out with?
> 
> MAKOTO: Me? Well, let me see… hmm… I’ve been with Haru since we were kids, so I feel relaxed around him, and Nagisa is a cheerful person, so I have fun being around him, and Rei is upright, so I feel like I can expect him to take really good care of me… You all have your good points. Hmm… I can’t choose.
> 
> [All three sigh]
> 
> MAKOTO: Eh? Huh? What’s wrong, guys?
> 
> NAGISA: Um… what do we call that kind of attitude again?
> 
> MAKOTO: Eh?
> 
> HARUKA: Wishy-washy.
> 
> MAKOTO: Ehh?!
> 
> REI: Makoto-senpai… You’re going to be in trouble one day…
> 
> MAKOTO: Wha– why?!
> 
> HARUKA: Being too nice brings the worst results.
> 
> MAKOTO: Not you too, Haru!
> 
>  
> 
> So I think this is a good time to explain how this story has umm… evolved and changed. Originally when I started writing this story, I wasn’t going to have any “overt” ships. I was going to try and stick to the KyoAni playbook of implying if you so wanted to read it that way or just assuming its just friendship (i.e. no romance). I also started writing this story before Free! finished. But as the anime went on and I wrote more of the story I decided it would be more interesting to have actual romances. But from the start, even when this was going to be about friendship, I was going to have Makoto end-up in the hospital.
> 
>  
> 
> It started off as a simple car accident that resulted in some broken bones, then as the story got more romantic, it escalated into a car accident that resulted in a coma. But you know what, accidents are REALLY hard to set-up. Plus a car accident seem so… wrong. So then I had a balcony collapse that landed Makoto in a pool but that seemed too dramatic and contrived. Then I vaguely remembered reading about a girl who died from water poisoning after taking an ecstasy tablet. I thought water poisoning fit with the concept of Free! better. I mean, in the anime Makoto nearly drowned (hurt by water) and in High Speed! it was Haru who nearly drowned (again, hurt by water). So I was like, yep, water poisoning it is.
> 
>  
> 
> From what I could gather, for water poisoning to happen, you need to drink a minimum of 4 litres in under an hour. Also, three cases of ecstasy leading to water poisoning that I found through a quick web search (including the one I remembered) involved teenage girls. Given Makoto’s healthy and physical characteristics, he probably had to drink more the the minimum 4 litres but I decided to take liberties with the medical probability in this case because water poisoning just seemed so poetic in this context.


	37. Chapter 37

Haru hadn’t slept for 24 hours, he had barely eaten all day. What energy he had, he had used up completely in the race, along with any and all mental and emotional fortitude. So it was unsurprising that his teammates and fellow competitors met no resistance when he was pulled out of the water. He had passed out as soon as he feet hit solid ground and so rushed to the hospital. The doctors gave Haru a sedative so his overworked body could get some rest, while they restored much needed hydration and nutrients to Haru’s body. Physically at least, they expected Haru to be fine in the morning. But as Rin stood outside Haru’s room, watching him sleep, he wondered what’s Haru’s mental state would be come morning.

 

“You should get some rest yourself,” said Shiori, as she walked-up to Rin with arms loaded with food, “We don’t need you collapsing as well.”

 

“I am not an idiot,” replied Rin, as he took the food, “I am not going to collapse.”

 

Shiori wasn’t convinced but decided not to push it. Instead she asked, “Matsuoka-kun, who did you list as your next of kin? For Team Japan to contact I mean.”

 

“My mom, why?” wondered Rin.

 

“Nanase-kun listed Makoto,” Shiori revealed.

 

“What!”

 

“It caused quite a commotion when Team Japan realised that the Haru’s next of kin was lying in a coma and no one had any idea who to contact given that Makoto was indisposed. They knew Nanase-kun’s parents were in town, since he had asked for a late curfew to go have dinner with them twice, but they had no way of contacting them,” Shiori sighed before continuing, “For their part, Mr and Mrs Nanase also had no way of contacting anyone but Makoto. I mean, they had their son’s number and they had Makoto’s number. Apparently Nanase-kun had decided that was all his parents needed to know.”

 

“I take it that they found out Haru had collapsed from TV,” guessed Rin.

 

Shiori nodded, “They had just returned to Seoul after spending a couple of day in Mt Seorak. They had returned in time for the medley relay finals and so innocently turned on the TV to watch their son swim and win. They had no idea Makoto was in a coma,” she explained, “They watched him swim and post a personal best time for his leg, set a new world record as a consequence and then, they watched him collapse back into the water seemingly with a desire to drown himself then and there.”

 

Rin shuddered. He hadn’t seen what had happened. Indeed, he was carefully avoiding see replays of Haru’s collapse but what he heard was enough to wring his heart. He could only imagine what Mr and Mrs Nanase was thinking. Especially if they had no idea why Haru was in the state that he was in.

 

“So they called Makoto’s phone and got me instead,” Shiori went on, “As soon as Mrs Nanase heard my voice she immediately asked if something had happened to Makoto and if that is why Nanase-kun had collapsed. When I explained Makoto was in a coma, she went into hysterics. She is convinced that if something happened to Makoto, Haru will never recover.”

 

“It’s true,” Rin whispered, “Haru is like a deep river. On the surface he’s all cold and stoic but that’s only because of how deep his emotions runs. Makoto,” Rin sighed, “Makoto is the base of the river that is Haru, always supporting the pace of Haru’s journey,” said Rin, “Right about now, Haru must be feeling as if he’s losing his base.”

 

“Don’t be fatalistic,” chided Shiori, “Makoto will wake-up.”

 

“Oh I know Makoto will wake-up,” said Rin with absolute conviction, “I believe in Makoto’s inability to hurt the people he loves. He knows if he dies, he would break my heart, plunge Haru into the darkness of despair, destroy his siblings childhoods and condemn his parents to the special kind of living hell that people who lose their children endure,” Rin of course, was thinking of his grandmother who had outlived her son and had never stopped grieving, “Makoto won’t leave us. He too selfless for something that selfish.”

 

“Dying is selfish?”

 

“I always thought so,” said Rin, “But then, I have lost two, too many people to death. So maybe I am just biased.”

 

* * *

 

Come morning, Mr and Mrs Tachibana insisted that Haru move in with them at their hotel. His father had forked out an obscene amount of money to secure two adjoining room. Haru didn’t have the strength to refuse, especially when the doctors made it clear that due to concerns regarding his mental health, he would not be allowed to visit Makoto. Haru tried to protest but he was just too weak. One night’s rest was apparently not enough for Haru to recover fully.

 

The part of him still capable of rational thought decided for now it was best to rest and recover and wait for salvation in the form Mr and Mrs Tachibana, who were arriving later in the day. Once they came, surely they would help Haru convince the doctors to let him be with Makoto and then… then Haru’s mind went blank. He didn’t know what he could do once he got to be with Makoto but he decided it that wasn’t important right now. What was important was to get on the other side of that stupid glass and get to hold Makoto’s hand again. That’s all he wanted right now, to feel Makoto’s big, warm hands in his.

 

* * *

 

_“Interviewer: Let’s talk about your life as a high school student. I’ll ask first about the people in Iwatobi High School, okay? We’ll begin with the captain, Tachibana Makoto-kun. How did you guys first meet?_

 

_Haru: …I don’t remember. It was way back, even before kindergarten.” - Character Interview Vol. 2, Nanase Haruka_

 

Cat Haru and Cat Rin were sleeping peacefully for now. They were inside the tent, which Makoto had fixed and were curled-up on Makoto’s chest as Makoto found himself lying down and staring blankly at the tent canvas. Makoto was happy to have the cats, it would have been really lonely just being by himself. He was already despairing as he still had no idea how to get out of here. He knew he was dreaming/sleeping and so had to wake-up but how?

 

“This is my punishment,” he said to himself again, “For hurting Haru and Rin. Maybe I am supposed to stay here and just die,” but he couldn’t just die. Not because he was afraid of death. No, what he was afraid of was the consequences for those left behind should he just give-up and stay on his island forever. He imagined his parents, the twins at his funeral and he just knew he couldn’t give-up.

 

He had to wake-up, even if he woke-up into a world where Haru and Rin had both left him behind and moved on. That was a possibility. Makoto had no idea how long he had been on his lonely island. There was no way to tell time here. He didn’t even get hungry or thirsty. For all he knew he could have been here for only a few minutes and when he woke-up, he would still be at the club. But there was also a chance he might wake-up and find that years have gone past. Years in which even his family would have forged new routines around the fact that he was asleep, most likely in a hospital.

 

He could imagine it now, his mother coming everyday and checking on him. Watching in dismay as his body degenerated from long periods of inactivity. Maybe she and his father might be debating turning off whatever machine was keeping him alive. Fighting over his fate… he didn’t want that. His parents never fought, ever! When one got angry, the other would just leave the room, sometimes the house until they both calmed down and then they would talk quietly over tea, then proceed to traumatise their kids by failing to keep quiet as they had make-up sex.

 

Well, at least Makoto had been traumatised as a kid. By the time the twins were old enough to be traumatised, Makoto was old enough to read the signs of imminent trauma and always made sure to take the twins away to either Haru’s house or in the very least, mask the  them by playing loud videos or music. Makoto didn’t want his parents marriage being destroyed because of him.

 

“Maybe life would have been better for everyone if I had never been born,” Makoto was sure if he thought the words or if he spoke the words out loud but Cat Haru and Cat Rin seemed to respond to the words by viciously scratched him.

 

“Hey!” he sat-up abruptly, annoyed at his rough treatment only to find that the cats, the tend and the island had all disappeared. Instead he was on Iwatobi beach and facing the stone steps that ran along side his and Haru’s house!

 

Makoto got to his feet and ran up the stairs. His house was first… but was it really his house? Where were his mother’s plants? Why did the sign say ‘Yamamoto’ and not Tachibana? Makoto knocked on the door, a very, very old woman answered, “Can I help you?” she asked.

 

“Sorry to disturb you,” Makoto said, “But I was looking for the Tachibana family. They are supposed to live in this house”

 

“I am sorry but I don’t know anyone by that name,” said the woman before closing the door. Somehow, Makoto wasn’t surprised by the response.

 

“Haru!” thought Makoto as he headed back-up the stairs. Now knowing that this must be a reality where he didn’t exist. What was Haru like? Was he fine without Makoto? What had changed for Haru? Did he still swim?

 

Makoto knocked on the door of the Nanase household. Haru’s mother answer, “Can I help you?” she asked in her soft polite voice.

 

“Ah,” now that Makoto was face to face with Mrs Nanase, he realised that he had made a terrible miscalculation, how was he supposed to ask about a boy he didn’t know? Makoto decided to not overthink it and just go with the first thing that occurred to him, “Sorry to bother you but I am a friend of Haru from school. I was wondering if he was home.”

 

She gave him a strange look full of suspicion, “Haruka doesn’t have any friends. He hasn’t been to school in years!”

 

“Wha… what are you saying aunty!” in his distress forgetting all about how he doesn’t exist in this world, “Why would Haru not have friends? Why would Haru not go to school? It doesn’t make any sense!” Makoto insisted, “I mean, it’s not like he’s a hikikomori! He likes his alone time and isn’t the type of people who have loads of friends. But that’s because Haru doesn’t care for swallow connections. But he still get’s lonely, so he wouldn’t just stay by himself all the time right? And why would he have to? He’s a wonderful person and the best friend a person could ever have! Why would he… why would he hide away and not share his wonderful self with the world?” demanded Makoto.

 

Mrs Nanase stood in silence for a good long moment before finally saying, “Haruka is a hikikomori. Has been since middle school. Nobody has ever taken the time to get to know my son. He has never had a single friend. I don’t know who you are but if this is some kind of prank then you can go tell your friends…”

 

“No, no, you got it all wrong!” said Makoto, “I am Haru’s friend! I can prove it! Um… Haru’s favourite food is mackerels, he loves water, he loves swimming but he only swims freestyle, he’s really good at drawing and he loves drawing underwater scenes. He loves cats and his favourite colour is purple and that’s why all his jammers have purple…”

 

“Haru can’t swim,” said Mrs. Nanase.

 

Makoto was floored, “What!”

 

“You got everything else right,” conceded Mrs. Nanase, “I am not sure how but it is true that Haru only eats mackerels and loves the strays around the neighbourhood enough to share his mackerels with them every night in the garden. He also loves soaking in the tub for hours. I thought that meant he might enjoy swimming and so when he was young I tried to get him swimming lessons but it didn’t work out.”

 

“Eh…” that’s right, Haru and his first swimming lessons had come from Makoto’s father. Who had taken them to the community pool while they were still in kindergarten to teach them to swim. Then it had been Makoto’s idea to join the Iwatobi Swim Club so they could get even better at swimming. It was also Makoto that took the lead in taking active part in their schools swimming related activities. Swimming was something they always did together.

 

“As for his drawing,” Mrs Nanase sighed, “It has never helped Haruka. In play school he would just sit and draw by himself, ignoring the other kids,” she explained.

 

Makoto flashed back to kindergarten, of sitting with Haru for hours just watching him draw, “Haru-chan is really good at drawing!” his younger self would often coo.

 

Even if he wasn’t watching Haru draw, he was sitting with Haru as Makoto himself read, or tried to draw or played with some toy or another. Eventually, Haru didn’t just sit by himself and draw but also playing with Makoto. Come to think of it, Haru even started getting jealous when Makoto wasn’t paying Haru attention and often playing with others in groups, just because Makoto was. Erase Makoto and Haru was alone, drawing endlessly all by himself.

 

“Sometimes I wish I had smashed his hands so he couldn’t hold a brush,” Haru’s mother confessed, “Maybe then he wouldn’t have found it so easy to shut out the world! Damn you!” she said suddenly angry with Makoto, “I don’t know who you are but damn you! Damn you for your lies of being my son’s friend! My son doesn’t have any friends. Maybe if he did…” she couldn’t continue.

 

“I am not lying,” but Mrs Nanase wasn’t listening. She slammed shut the door. Makoto could hear her locking it. But still, Makoto felt eyes on him. He looked-up to see Haru looking down on him from the corner of his window, the curtains opened just enough for Makoto to get glimpse of his thin, gaunt, muscle-less frame. Haru shut the curtains and moved away as soon as Makoto made eye contact.

 

How much had he heard? This Haru who didn’t know Makoto. Did this Haru wonder how Makoto knew those facts about him? Was he wondering what it would like to be able to swim and really be one with the water that he loved, even in this reality? “Haru,” whispered Makoto, suddenly wanting to bust down the door, rush upstairs and… and what? This Haru wouldn’t welcome him.

 

* * *

 

With nothing to do and no sense in being obstinate, Haru had gone back to sleep after an hour long soak in the bath straight after moving into the hotel room. His parents had gathered his stuff from the athletes village and that was good enough for Haru. He didn’t even bother checking to see if they got everything.

 

His mother came-in at someone point with a large brunch and made him eat before letting him get back to sleep and escape into dreams full of Makoto. In the afternoon, his mother returned. This time with Ren, Ran and Rin.

 

“Haru-chan!” cried the twins as they flung themselves on Haru, “They wouldn’t let us see Onii-chan!” Ran informed him.

 

“Onii-chan is going to be okay, right?” asked Ren.

 

“Of course he is,” Rin said, “Haven’t I told you that already? Your Onii-chan loves you too much to die,” he assured them.

 

“What are you doing with them, Rin?” wondered Haru, his jealousy flaring up because damn it, all Tachibana belonged to him!

 

“I was in the hospital when Mr and Mrs Tachibana arrived,” said Rin, too tired to even notice Haru’s less than friendly tone, “The arrived at the hospital straight from the airport but when they got their the doctors suggested it wasn’t a good idea to let the twins see Makoto the way he was. Plus they had a lot of things to discuss with just them. So I offered to look after them. Shiori-san suggested I bring them to you since they were asking for you.”

 

“We wanted to see Haru-chan,” Ran told him.

 

“We saw Haru-chan collapse in the pool!” Ren explained, “It was scary!”

 

“I am sorry,” said Haru, hugging the twins tight, “I am sorry for scaring you. It’s just that,” tears started to roll down Haru’s cheeks, he was crying. He was actually crying. He couldn’t even remember the last time he cried, “It’s just that I got to the end and Makoto wasn’t there to pull me out of the pool and I,” he hugged them tighter, “I didn’t want to leave the water if there was no Makoto waiting for me on land.” Neither Rin nor the twins had any response to that.

 

* * *

 

Makoto walked aimlessly down the streets of Iwatobi, wondering why he was still here. He got the message. He couldn’t just erase is near constant presence in Haru’s life and assume Haru would just be fine. So why was he still here?

 

“Stop it!” begged a small, pitiful voice, “Please just leave me alone!”

 

Nagisa? Makoto looked around and yes, it was Nagisa. A very scrawny Nagisa who didn’t seem to have an ounce of confidence, let alone the mischievous cheerfulness of the Nagisa he knew. But then again, he was being shoved up against a building by a bunch of delinquents.

 

“What’s the matter Nagi-chan? I thought you liked sucking on sausage!” with that he took a bunch of raw sausages and stuffed them in Nagisa’s mouth!

 

“Hey!” Makoto didn’t like violence and was always weary of using his body as a weapon. He had good reason too. He was six feet of pure muscles. He could do some serious damage if he wasn’t careful but damn it, they were hurting Nagisa! “Leave him alone!” he said as he carefully but firmly, pulled the delinquent shoving sausages in Nagisa’s mouth away from him.

 

Nagisa spit out the sausage bits as all the delinquents focused on Makoto, “What the fuck dude!” demanded the delinquent Makoto had pulled away from Nagisa, “Don’t tell me, your a fag too?”

 

Makoto blinked, “You were picking on Nagisa because he’s gay? That’s… that’s disgusting. You should be ashamed of yourself. I mean, it’s not like Nagisa being gay effects you guys or anything,” Makoto told them, “Also you should wash your hands,” he said, eyeing the delinquents soiled hands, “If you don’t wash-up properly after handling raw meat, you can get food poisoning.’

 

Delinquent spat at Makoto’s feet, “Do we look like the kind of people who care about getting good poisoning?” he demanded to know.

 

“You should,” replied Makoto, “Food poisoning can be very serious issue. If you are lucky, you might just get a runny tummy from food poisoning but if you are really unlucky you can end-up in the hospital or worse! You don’t want to die do you?”

 

“Are you threatening me?” demanded the delinquent.

 

“No, no,” insisted Makoto, “I am just suggesting you go wash your hands and don’t skimp on the soap. Because just washing your hands with water won’t do any good when preventing germ transfer from raw meat. You really have to lather the soap to get your hands really clean.”

 

“Are you for fucking real?”

 

“I have no idea what you mean by that,” conceded Makoto, a little sheepishly.

 

“Let’s get out of here,” said one of the other delinquents, “This guy is creeping me out!”

 

“Tha… thank you,” said Nagisa, as the delinquents left.

 

“You should wash out your mouth with a good strong mouthwash, Nagisa,” suggested Makoto, “Let’s go get one of those travel size ones for the convenience store,” he reached into his pockets and much to his relief, found he had his wallet and so, hopefully, cash, “And we’ll also get some strawberry milk. They are your favourite, right?”

 

Nagisa nodded, “But how did you know?” he wondered.

 

“Don’t worry about the details,” said Makoto, it was a line the Nagisa he knew would say but for now, Makoto felt it was the most appropriate response.

 

* * *

 

When Makoto was able to coax Nagisa’s story out of him, it was obvious what had went horribly wrong. Nagisa was used as a living doll by his sisters at home and bullied at school because of his name and also because he was one of the smallest boys around. His father had told him to get strong and so he had enrolled in Iwatobi Swim Club but one the first day of his training, Nagisa had opened his bag to find that his sisters had played a prank and replaced his swimsuit with one of theirs. Nagisa had been humiliated and refused to swim or to go back.

 

In Makoto’s world, Haru had been there to lend Nagisa his swimming trunks and to wear the girl’s swimsuit Nagisa’s sisters had slipped him and still go out and swim. Because, as Haru had told Nagisa, “Being a girl or a boy doesn’t matter when you’re in the water. What you wear doesn’t matter. As long as I can swim… as long as I can feel the water… that’s all that matters.”

 

It had changed Nagisa’s life. What had Nagisa said? “Haru-chan wasn’t embarrassed by it at all and he wore the swimsuit without hiding himself… He was really cool! When I saw him, I felt that everything that was troubling me really wasn’t that important after all,” and also, “Even while wearing the swimsuit, Haru-chan’s swimming was really pretty and it made me think that I wanted to be strong like him. I wanted to swim freely like he does.”

 

Nagisa had stayed at the club, had gotten stronger. Had gotten more confident. But the Haru of this world didn’t swim. Wasn’t there in the locker room to inspire Nagisa. End result, this Nagisa was a depressed and bullied lonely teen. The one friend Nagisa did have, apparently got creeped out when Nagisa came-out to him and not only stopped hanging out with Nagisa but also outed him to their entire school. Making the bullying that much worse.

 

“I wish you were my friend,” Nagisa said suddenly, “I mean,” Nagisa seemed to panic when he realised what he had let slip, “You are really cool and nice and handso…” Nagisa’s panic seemed to intensify, “I don’t mean it like that! I mean, II am not coming on to you!” it might have occurred to Nagisa that Makoto might take that in the wrong way and scrambled to assure him, “I mean, I do find you attractive but I am not coming on to you or anything and I don’t mean that I wish you were my boyfriend, I just wish you were my friend. Although you would probably make a great boyfriend too but,” maybe it occurred to Nagisa that he was just digging himself deeper, “Please don’t hate me!” Nagisa begged.

 

Makoto laughed, “It’s okay, Nagisa,” he assured him, “I am used to both men and women finding me hot and wanting me to be their boyfriend. Unless they are obsessively stalking me or something creepy like that, it honestly doesn’t bother me.”

 

“It… doesn’t?” asked Nagisa. Makoto shook his head. Nagisa welled-up, “I really, really, really wish you were my friend!”

 

Before Makoto could say anything or do anything to comfort Nagisa, he heard an achingly familiar voice behind him go, “Yo, are you the mother hen that gave my boys a lesson in sanitisation?”

 

Makoto turned around to come face to face with, “Rin!”

 

* * *

 

_“After Haru got home from school, he would shove everything he needed into his bag and then hurry out of the foyer. After descending the stone steps, he would look up at Makoto's house. Makoto's house was pressed in close, facing the stone steps, and the stairs leading up to its entryway stretched to meet the base of shrine's stairway. Usually he timed it so that he could meet up with Makoto and his smile.” - Chapter 2, High Speed!_

 

Mr and Mrs Tachibana had picked-up Ran and Ren, promising Haru and Rin that they would talk to the doctors about letting them enter Makoto’s room. They both felt that the isolation in which Makoto was being kept was prolonging his coma. It was a  thoroughly unscientific assertion since they couldn’t offer any logical reason as to why Makoto being kept in a silent room would be prolonging his coma. It was just a feeling that Makoto who was used to a lively home, of being around Haru and lately around Rin, who had not liked living alone in Tokyo but endured it because he needed to do it to build the future he wanted, probably wasn’t getting the stimulation he needed to wake-up separated from those he loved by that cold glass wall.

 

After Ran and Ren left, Rin was set to leave too. But Haru suggested dinner and unsurprisingly, after dinner they ended-up at the hotel pool. Rin choose to sit by the poolside, dangling his feet into the water, while Haru just floated on his back with a sad pensive look on his face.

 

“I bet you regret ever meeting me now,” said Rin, suddenly.

 

“Rin!” Haru exclaimed, righting himself and floating upright.

 

“I mean, its partly my fault Makoto’s in the coma,” Rin said, “If I hadn’t fallen for Makoto, if I hadn’t kissed him, Makoto would have been his usual serene self. Shinji wouldn’t have even thought to ‘help’ by slipping him drugs. Makoto wouldn’t be in a coma.”

 

Haru stayed silent for awhile, giving the impression that he agreed but in reality he was just gathering his thoughts before he swam over to Rin, coming to rest his forearms beside him even as he kept his body submerged, “I was escaping into the water back in elementary school,” he confessed, “I was escaping from all my trouble but also my connections. I thought it made me a strong person. I was stupid.”

 

“I actually did a lot of stupid things in back then. When I left for swim club, after getting home from school, I would carefully time it so I could meet-up with Makoto. But then when he was running late I wouldn’t wait,” Haru went on, “I would tell myself that there was no need to wait since we never planned to meet-up. I would tell me it was better for both of us if I just went ahead rather than wait for Makoto to be done with whatever, usually the twins, and get irritated from waiting. I was a terrible human being,” Haru declared.

 

“Ha…” started Rin but Haru interrupted him.

 

“It was also stupid. I didn’t need a reason to wait for Makoto other then I wanted to wait for Makoto. I wanted to go to swim practice with him. I wanted to be with him but in my misguided attempt to be strong, I was being stupid. But when you made me swim that relay, I ended-up forming connections in the water,” Haru explained, “With you, with Nagisa but most importantly with Makoto. I never swam anything competitively but free and Makoto didn’t want to compete against me so he never swam free. We couldn’t be rivals. If you hadn’t come along we wouldn’t be teammates either,” said Haru, “But most importantly, Rin, if we hadn’t met, I would still be running away into the water. So whatever happens, Rin, I’ll never regret meeting you.”

 

“Not even what happened with us in middle school?” asked Rin.

 

“In a way that was good too,” said Haru, “It made me remember that Makoto wasn’t my friend because I was this amazing swimmer. Makoto didn’t care if I swam or if I didn’t. Makoto wasn’t going to leave me just because I stopped living life and just started killing time. Makoto...” Haru started shaking.

 

“Haru!” Rin grabbed Haru’s arm but stopped from pulling him out just yet but being ready to do so if it seemed necessary.

 

“Makoto is supposed to always be with me! He’s supposed to be… He’s supposed be HERE!” he snatched his arm away from Rin and dived under, swimming away. Rin let him but continued to watch him to make sure he was… that Haru just wanted to swim.

 

* * *

 

“Rin!” cried Makoto again, but was this really Rin? The redhead that stood before him looked like a punk, complete with the hoodlum look and many, many piercings. Well at least Rin was as handsome as ever, piercings, punk outfit and all.

 

“How do you know my name, mother hen?” wondered Rin with a sneer.

 

Makoto burst out laughing, he couldn’t help it, Rin was clearly trying to be ferocious but he was just sort of cute, “What so funny!” demanded Rin.

 

“I am sorry,” said Makoto, trying to get is laugh under control, “I know you are trying to be scary but you are Rinrin and Rinrin’s more a kitty then a tiger. So...”

 

Rin just looked taken back now, “How… who told you that name? Tell me! I owe them a beating!”

 

“Nevermind that but why did you call those delinquents your ‘boys’?” wondered Makoto.

 

“They are peeps, my crew,” said Rin.

 

“Rin, have you been listening to too much rap music again?”

 

“Shut up! And I asking the questions here!”

 

“Well you just asked one question and I think you pretty much figured that answer is yes by now,” replied Makoto, “But what are you doing with a bunch of delinquents? Shouldn’t you be swimming to get a place in the Olympics?”

 

“How did you…” Rin started before deciding to just answer, “I quit swimming.”

 

“But why?” wondered Makoto, “Rin’s an amazing swimmer and started swimming Sano. Rin wouldn’t be affected if I never existed and Haru didn’t take-up swimming. Right? Because Rin would still go to Australia and form a relay team in Iwatobi Swim Club just before going to Australia. Rin would be okay right?” insisted Makoto.

 

“I don’t know how you know all this but I didn’t make a relay team,” replied Rin, “I did transfer to Iwatobi Elementary and Iwatobi Swim Club just before I left for Australia. I did want to make a relay team and win, just like…” Rin cut off.

 

“Like your father,” Makoto supplied.

 

Rin glared at Makoto but continued, “Yes but I never made the team. I didn’t want just any team. I wanted a great team! But there wasn’t anyone in Iwatobi Swim Club good enough for me to make a team with. Unsurprising really, I was always wiping the ground with Iwatobi trash,” said Rin.

 

“That’s right”, thought Makoto, “Haru in free and me in breaststroke were the only ones who would win against Rin in the meets. Everybody else lost. Because Rin was so awesome.”

 

“No wonder I couldn’t do anything in Australia,” Rin went on, “Feh, I couldn’t even form a relay team and I thought I could get to the Olympics.”

 

“I am sorry,” said Makoto suddenly, “I am sorry, Rin! I am sorry that I can’t stop screwing-up! If I exist I screw-up by being a wishy-washy guy who is too nice. If I don’t exist, then Haru becomes a hikikomori and doesn’t take-up swimming. Doesn’t save Nagisa. Doesn’t help you win the relay and become your rival and your friend! I am sorry! I am so sorry!” and just like that, Makoto was back on the deserted island. The cats at his feet, the ocean before him.

 

* * *

 

“One at a time and for no longer than five minutes,” said the doctor.

 

“You go first Haru-chan,” said Mrs Tachibana. Haru took the offer at face value and didn’t even try to be polite and suggest someone else should go first.He simply nodded and headed in.

 

“Makoto,” he whispered once he was inside, willing himself to move nearer to Makoto even as the sight of him, lying in bed with those wiring coming off him, repulsed Haru because that’s not how it should be! “Makoto,” he called again, “Please wake-up. Please! I don’t care any more who you choose to love romantically. Rin, Aki, your favourite orca plushie Ori-chan, whoever and whatever, I’ll be okay with it. Even if my heart breaks, I’ll deal with it. Just please wake-up and return to my side. Even if I can just be your best friend, as long as I get to stay with Makoto forever, I’ll be happy! So please,” begged Haru, “Please just wake-up!”

 

* * *

 

Back on his island, surrounded by the pitch black sea, Makoto heard haru. “Haru,” he whispered back, shocked at the layers and layers of emotions dripping of Haru’s tone. Haru was not being stoic now and suddenly, Makoto understood.

 

“Haru,” he called out, “Haru! I am afraid. I have to go into this ocean. I have to swim in it. No, I have to dive under. That’s the way out! I think I have always known it, the way to get out of this place. But Haru! I am afraid, I am so afraid!”

 

“I’ll always swim with you,” continued Haru’s disembodied voice, sounding as if it was coming from very far away, “Because it's… IT’S MEANINGLESS WITHOUT YOU.”

 

Makoto found himself laughing, “You sound embarrassed Haru-chan. I want to see your face,” said Makoto suddenly, “I want to see what kind of cute face you are making!” and with that thought, Makoto walked into the sea. The sea that represented Haru’s all encompassing love that wanted to engulf Makoto and keep him all to itself.

 

It was awful, big and scary but it was also beautiful, at least below the surface. Just like Haru, you had to dive deep to see the light and there was light. Countless star like lights that illuminated the depths but could not be seen from the surface. The enticed Makoto down, down, down below until a pair of light filled arms, familiar and unfamiliar at the sametime, wrapped around him and pulled him down until all the air left Makoto’s lungs and he surrendered completely to whatever fate awaited him.

 

* * *

 

The machines were beeping. The doctors and nurses rushed in. They pushed Haru away, ordered him out. But how was he supposed to leave? “Makoto!” Haru screamed, even as someone tried to drag him away.

 

“Makoto! Makoto!” Rin was screaming from outside the room.

 

“Onii-chan! Don’t die!” the twins begged, also from outside the room.

 

“Makoto!” Haru yelled, holding on to the door frames, not wanting to be thrown completely out, even though he knew he was probably getting in the way, distracting the doctors but he was so afraid! Afraid that if he left the room, then he would never get to see Makoto again! “MAKOTO!”

 

 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Haru… ka.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentines! So this chapter got out of hand but that’s unsurprising given my brain insisted on inserting the whole “Makoto doesn’t exist alternate universe” in the last freaking minute! Damn you brain!!!! Hope its not complete crap!
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway, I referenced it a couple of chapters back but once again, the Nagisa and Haru meeting for the first time story comes from the Drama CD #1, track 5. Nagisa also explains about the bullying in that track but his sisters using him as a living doll comes from FrFr! #2


	38. Chapter 38

There was a dream Haru used to have of actually getting what he always professed to want, to be left alone. He would dream that Makoto wasn’t his friend, though they still lived close to each other and attended the same school. In his dream, Haru was never certain why he wasn’t friends with Makoto. Just like in real life, Haru didn’t know how he and Makoto had become friends. They had just always been friends. Haru had no memory of a time when Makoto wasn’t his friend. Makoto was like water and just like Haru could not remember when he took his first sip, or had his first bath, he could not remember when he met Makoto and became his friend.

 

In his waking hours, a world where Makoto wasn’t his friend was as unthinkable as a world without water. But in his dreams such a world did exist. But then again, Haru also sometimes dreamt of a world of endless desert where water was scarce and person after person didn’t even have a drop to drink. In his dreams of the desert world, he was always a wanderer searching for water. In his dreams of a world where he and Makoto were not friends, he was always yearning for Makoto because he would be inevitable, inexplicably attracted to Makoto but for Makoto, Haru would be just someone in class he sometimes said hello to. Haru would not be in Makoto’s circle of friends, which for some reason would be made-up of basketball players.

 

That made sense. Given Makoto’s build, if he wasn’t swimming he would most likely be playing basketball and Haru would be watching. Always watching and sketching. He wouldn’t be a stalker in that he wouldn’t go out of his way to follow Makoto around and make him uncomfortable. He would just watch when he could, in class, from his bedroom window, during Makoto’s basketball matches. He would watch and draw, he would even indulge in his hentai fantasies and draw Makoto in erotic poses.

 

Then one day, purely by accident, Makoto would find out what he had been drawing and the Makoto who was not Haru’s friend would be creeped-out and go out of his way to avoid Haru. But he wouldn’t expose Haru’s secret to his classmates. Even creeped out, Makoto would give Haru the benefit of the doubt and would believe Haru had no ill intentions. Maybe even pity Haru and that was usually the part that made Haru wake-up in tears. Like he was today.

 

“Why did I have that dream again?” wondered Haru as he tried to wipe away his tears, “Why now? Makoto just came back to me!” or did he?

 

That had been a lingering question in Haru’s mind since yesterday. He thought he heard Makoto call him by his name, Haruka, just before Rin had been ordered by Shiori to take him away. “GET HIM OUT OF THERE BEFORE HE GETS IN THE WAY MORE!” she had screamed even distrot, Rin had seen the logic of what she said and did as told. Haru himself had started to gather his scattered wits and more or less allowed Rin to lead him away, with Ren and Ran being also asked to go with the two of them by Mrs Tachibana. It had been a good idea.

 

Away from the emergency surrounding Makoto, Ren and Ran could be reassured and calmed and since Haru had to be the one to do it, he had, had to calm down as well. By the time Shiori came to get them, all was quiet but they were not allowed to see Makoto and told to go home. They had been reassured that Makoto was finally out of danger and out of the coma but to Haru the words would be hollow until he could see Makoto’s smiling face again.

 

* * *

 

“You can’t be serious! You can’t let Shinji get away with poisoning Makoto!” screamed Rin.

 

“What do you want me to do exactly?” asked Shiori, “Go to the police? Report it? Do you have any idea what kind of publicity it would cause? Contrary to popular belief, not all publicity is good publicity,” she explained calmly, “Had Makoto died or been seriously injured, I would have ensured Shinji paid for what he did. But it looks like Makoto is going to be making a full recovery. Do you want me to taint his career?”

 

“What about what happened? How are you explaining that away?” demanded Rin, “Surely the hospital…”

 

“The hospital in question does not have a policy that requires they report ‘accidental poisoning’, even of minors,” replied Shiori.

 

“Accidental… bullshit! Shinji spiked…”

 

“And for that he’s been fired without any additional compensations and, per the clause in his contract that stipulated he wasn’t going to pull this stuff anymore, we have cut his royalty percentage by half,” explained Shiori, “He’s won’t coming near Makoto again so…”

 

“Wait, wait,” Rin interrupted, “He pulled this shit before?”

 

Shiori sighed, “There was a band he was working for before to whom he supplied drugs. But it was different. He didn’t slip stuff to them without them knowing. He just…”

 

“I don’t care what he did exactly,” said Rin, interrupting yet again, “I am just amazed you let someone like that near Makoto!”

 

“Have you met Makoto?” wondered Shiori, “For someone who grew-up in a small town surrounded by well wishers, Makoto’s pretty sharp. He isn’t someone who can be talked into doing something he doesn’t want. Nor did he strike me as someone who would do something wrong by rationalising it to himself. Makoto’s judges what he should and should not do as, would I be okay if my siblings were doing this or would I have to hide this from Haru. I knew Shinji would never get him hooked on crap,” defended Shiori, “I just didn’t think that Shinji would rationalise spiking Makoto’s drink to himself as him ‘helping’ Makoto.”

 

“I don’t know if I should be impressed with how much faith you have in Makoto, shocked that you were so callous but I am most definitely disgusted that you are letting someone like Shinji get away with shit like this,” said Rin.

 

“If Makoto wakes-up and says to me he wants Shinji prosecuted, I’ll do it. I have enough information to have Shinji prosecuted and we can just explain the delay in filing a police report by saying we didn’t know exactly what happened until Makoto woke-up. But I think Makoto will have other things to worry about once he wakes-up full.”

 

Rin didn’t know what to say to that. So Shiori said bluntly, “For what it is worth, I was in your corner.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“In the months I have been looking after Makoto, I got the impression that in Makoto’s world, there is Nanase-san and then there is everybody else,” said Shiori, “They are, for want of a better word, soulmates but somehow, even that term feels inadequate to describe them. So I really wanted you or someone else to be his love interest. Because what I fear most for Makoto is Makoto getting shut inside a bubble where nothing and no one else exists but himself and Nanase-san. So I wanted Makoto to have someone else in his life.”

 

“He has his family and…” Rin couldn’t say it.

 

He didn’t want to say, and we’ll always be friends. But he still remembered that painful moment when Haru had turned to him and asked, “Did you hear it? He said my name! He’s awake! Please tell me he’s awake!” Rin hadn’t heard anything but beeping of machines and the incoherent noises of the doctor barking orders to the nurse and orderlies. So he couldn’t reassure Haru but if Haru was right, then Makoto had made his choice. The pain of heartbreak would be worse for Rin if he hadn’t been relieved that Makoto was not going to die.

 

“Makoto will always have friends who love him and refuse to let him go,” Rin finally managed.

 

“Not the same thing,” Shiori replied, “While I am sure Makoto will look after his parents when they become elderly and he’ll always be close to his brother and sister, but already Makoto is living his own life independent of his family and when I said in Makoto’s world there was Haru and then there was everybody else, I meant that especially when it came to his friends or rather I should say, Makoto doesn’t actually have a lot of friends.”

 

“Where did that come from!” demanded Rin, “Makoto has lots of friends!”

 

“I don’t know about that,” said Shiroi, “Makoto is pleasant to everyone and so everyone is pretty much pleasant back to him. But I am not entirely sure how many of the people Makoto himself thinks of as his friend. If I had to guess, aside from Haru, I would say right now Makoto’s only friends are you and me.”

 

“Wait! That’s not right,” insisted Rin, “There is Rei, Nagisa, my sister Gou and…” come to think of it, that was it and all the people he had named were, going forward, likely to be geographically separate from Makoto. Unless, of course, they came to study in Tokyo but even then, they are likely to spend more time with other friends who were… doing the same things they were. Attending the same college, working in the same place… Shiori was right. Makoto’s friend circle had just collapsed to just him, Haru and Shiori, and Rin wasn’t sure he was okay with Shiori anymore given she was basically letting Makoto’s poisoner walk away.

 

Shiori sighed again, “I really do hope that you and Makoto remain close. Someone like Makoto, really shouldn’t be living in a world that does not extend beyond him and his soulmate. More importantly, that’s not good for Haru either. But I think they two of them do get the majority of what they need from each other and so it is easy for them to lockout the world. They can’t for awhile because of the pesky necessity to earn money but…”

 

Rin didn’t know what to say. “I suppose there is no point in worrying,” Shiori added, “What will happen will happen. But please,” she begged, “For Makoto’s sake, don’t stop being his friend.”

 

* * *

 

They were waiting outside Makoto’s room, waiting to be allowed to see Makoto. An awkward silence hung over them. Rin couldn’t think of anything to say to break it apart from, “You win,” Haru looked at Rin, “If he indeed awoke with your names on his lips, you clearly win.”

 

“I didn’t realise we were competing,” replied Haru.

 

“Well we both can’t be with Makoto,” said Rin, “So it couldn’t be anything but a competition from the start.”

 

“I don’t really like the idea of Makoto being a prize to fight over,” said Haru, “That’s what used to irritate me a lot in school. All the girls, especially around Valentines and Christmas, would fight over Makoto. Not taking into account what he thought or felt. It was disgusting.”

 

“We didn’t compete like that,” Rin pointed out, “We were both just ourselves with Makoto but Makoto had to make a choice. Either make you his everything or let me have the position of lover even as you hold the position of best friend, oldest friend, soulmate and… I don’t know, everything but lover,” Haru didn’t know what to say to that. Plus he didn’t want to hurt Rin by saying something accidentally. That was after all why he stopped talking.

 

“I hurt a lot of people,” Haru suddenly confessed to Rin, “When I was in Kindergarten. It’s not that I wanted to make people cry. I always felt sick and miserable when people would get upset. Especially Makoto but I would just say stuff, the first thing that came to my mind or just something without fully thinking it through and I would make people cry. It… drove people away… and it wasn’t as if I had a lot of people around me to begin with. After awhile, I just stopped talking. Only with Makoto could I be free and even with him, there were things I couldn’t say. I am getting better now and besides, we don’t need a lot of words anyway.”

 

“Because of your mind reading thing,” guessed Rin.

 

Haru nodded, “It wasn’t always this way,” explained Haru, “He used to take it to heart when I said he was annoying or embarrassed him in some way without meaning to. But he never once said he hated me and didn’t want me to talk to him anymore. He never once pulled away from me. On the contrary, his tears were because he was afraid I would pull away from him! But because he had no intention of pulling away from me, I was able to make-up with him and after a while, we understood each other and he knew when I meant something and when I was being contrary. Even when I didn’t know myself I was being contrary.”

 

“Haru,” whispered Rin, “You know that doesn’t make sense. How can you be contrary without knowing it!”

 

“I don’t want to hear something like that from a tsundere!” countered Haru, a moment of unexpected levity descending on them.

“Ha! I am not...” Rin couldn’t complete the sentence because he knew he was as tsundere as they came.

 

Haru sighed and continued, “There are many things I think I want but when I get them they taste bitter and awful. If Makoto had actually stopped being an annoying busybody… I don’t think I would have made it this far. I am,” Haru paused for a second, “Really sorry, Rin! But I can’t let you have Makoto! I don’t care if it make me weak and pathetic but I need Makoto! I...” Haru swallowed back his remaining words as a doctor came to see them.

 

“Which one of you is Rin?” he asked. Haru’s mind went blank as Rin followed mechanically. Haru crushed whatever hope had reared its ugly head in his heart into the ground as Rin struggled not to let hope bloom in his.

 

* * *

 

Makoto didn’t look like Makoto, lying in bed, still connected to tubes and looking weak and fragile. Rin felt an almost overwhelming surge of protectiveness even as Shiori’s words rang in his head, “Have you met Makoto?” Yes he had met Makoto and while Makoto was strong, he wasn’t invincible. he couldn’t survive on his own. He needed a god damn defense force and damned if Rin wasn’t going to be on that defense force no matter what!

 

“Rin…” his voice was weak and it was clear that he was having difficulty speaking, probably why he cut right to the chase, “I am sorry.”

 

“I figured,” replied Rin, “You did wake-up with Haru’s name on your lips,” he saw Makoto’s eyes widen in surprise. But Rin had guessed that Makoto wouldn’t necessarily be aware he had said Haru’s name as he awoke. “But I want you to know that I want to remain friends. Even if its awkward until I get totally over you, I don’t want to lose your warmth from my life. I…”

 

“I dreamt… about you…” Makoto forced himself to speaking, he needed to say this now, to get it out because he doubted he would ever get to say it again if he didn’t say it now, “Dreamt, life with you. We had a cat. Cute cat and lived in Tokyo. Big,” Makoto paused for a long while, “Apartment with view. We loved each other,” another pause, “A lot. Adventures, our life, always. Because your dreams were big and you followed, encouraged me to make, follow, big dreams.”

 

Rin didn’t know what to say. So he stayed silent and let Makoto gather his strength. Seeing Makoto struggle like that, Rin couldn’t help but want to rush out and find Shinji and beat him into a pulp. He also wanted to call-up Shiori and tell her once again how wrong she was to let Shinji get away with this.

 

Rin’s thoughts were interrupted when Makoto started to speak again. “Life with Haru was quieter,” he explained, “Kid, cats, house by remote beach. No limelight. My choices… stark.”

 

“But you choose Haru?”

 

“Haru… was wrong. Never work out between me and Aki. Can’t…” he couldn’t continue. He felt too weak and the thought was too complex.

 

Rin, however, understood, “Haruka is a demanding mistress,” Makoto managed a grin at Rin’s choice of expressions but it was true. Just like the Sea, Haru demanded a lot from he who dared to call himself Haru’s soulmate and Makoto, well he had decided he would give it his all.

 

* * *

 

When Haru went into see Makoto, his energy was all but gone. It was okay though. They didn’t need words. Rin had already told Haru that Makoto had indeed decided to be with Haru completely. Details, plans and verbal declaration of undying love, because even Haru felt he had to say it and hear it at least once, would have to wait. For now, Haru sat by Makoto’s bed, held his hand and offered him what comfort he could through his touch and let him rest and recover. Then the rest of their lives could start...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everybody for reading the story. This last chapter didn’t go quite as I planned. I did just plan to skip ahead and finish with an interview were Makoto basically does a PSA on watching your drinks at clubs and it is implied that Shinji got away with it because “the person who did it wasn’t caught”. He then meets back-up with Haru and they head-off together. Meantime, Rin is in the verge of falling back into his habit of using sex with whoever is willing as comfort and stands outside a shop ready to make a pass at the next person his age that comes out but the person who comes out is someone he actually cares about and so he curses fate and luck but ends up going home with the person and breaking down while playing with their cat. But in the end I decided to go a different route and this is what result. Hopefully this wasn’t too lame!
> 
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> 
> Anyway, it is now over… but there will be a bonus chapter of “future scenes” from a hypothetical sequel that I most definitely WON’T be writing. This is because I am very bad with finishing sequels. So this time, I am not even going to start! But I thought I would put all the random scenes I thought off in a bonus chapter of sorts. But this fic is “complete”. Thus the status changes and stuff.
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you again to everyone who stuck with this fic to this end. I know it couldn’t have been easy given how long it is and how I seem to have an inability to edit and don’t currently have a beta reader who I work with. So I am sure people have caught plenty of typos and grammar errors. Thanks again to SoheiSasahara for pointing many of them out to me.
> 
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> 
> Big thanks to everyone who took the time to review. I do enjoy reading reviews and the reviews did encourage me to get on writing the next chapter and stuff. Also thanks to viella-art @ Tumblr and lordzuuko @ Tumblr for the beautiful art! Hopefully everybody who stuck until the end enjoyed the story, even if it did go all over the place and was just too damn long! ^.^


	39. Bonus Chapter: The Future

The apartment was obnoxiously large and overlooked Tokyo harbour. It had three bedrooms, a large living area and good size kitchen. This was the new home of Haru, Makoto and Rin. It had leaked out that Makoto was going to be sharing an apartment with his old friends, Rin and Haru. Since the apartment had three bedrooms, there was no reason to ask any further questions. No one suspected and certainly neither Makoto or Haru were going to reveal the fact that they would be sharing the master bedroom as a couple. Rin would take the bigger of the remaining bedrooms, with the spare bedroom being kept in reserve for friends and family who might come and visit them.

 

It wasn’t that Makoto’s management company, whose sport division was also now handling Haru and Rin, wanted Makoto and Haru to lie about being a couple exactly. They just decided Makoto and Haru should just not talk about their romantic life. That suited Makoto and Haru just fine. They weren’t about to start kissing in public and could still hang out together without raising suspicion on account of being best friends and if they were a little too touchy feely, people just chalked it up to them being childhood friends. So it was only those closest to Makoto and Haru who knew they were now a couple and they were all happy for Makoto and Haru.

 

In his own way, so was Rin. It’s just that he wasn’t over Makoto yet and so it still hurt to know Makoto was just at the other end of the hallways connecting the bedrooms and with another man. Even if the other man was Haru, it hurt.

 

* * *

 

Nitori: Are you really okay with the living arrangement, senpai?

 

Rin: Yes, why?

 

Nitori: You aren’t over Tachibana-san. So living with him and Nanase-san must be tough.

 

Rin: It’s actually better than being by myself. Haru moved out of the dorms straight after the Asian games. Since we are no longer newbie and in the team for the long haul, we get to make our own permanent living arrangements. So I tried a flat by myself. I got lonely.

 

Nitori: Lonely?

 

Rin: I never really lived alone. I moved from my mom’s house to my grandmother’s to my a dorm, where I always had a roommate. Coming home to an empty apartment depressed the hell out of me. Now I get to come home to Makoto’s smile, even if it is just friendship, a pair of fluffy kitten, since the condo allows pets as long as they are kept inside all the time and I get to do the commute with Haru. The arrangement is a lot better than it was before.

 

Nitori: You could share with someone else.

 

Rin: I don’t have the energy to make a friend out of a stranger and I don’t want to live with a stranger. As for sharing with a friend… everybody is high maintenance compared to Makoto and Haru. Besides, I want to stay with them at least for a little while.

 

Nitori: Senpai… you have been saying that a lot. That you don’t have any energy. Are you sure you are okay?

 

Rin: Yeah but maybe I am just a bit burnt out from the games, what happened with Makoto, then straight after I had to study for university exams while keeping-up at least basic training. Man, I really wish I was a genius like Haru! He barely had to study to ace the exams and get into the University of Tokyo Fine Arts program.

 

Nitori: You did really well too Senpai!

 

Rin: But I had to work double hard for it. That’s the point. Ah, never mind. Not all of us get to be good at everything except English.

 

Nitori: I have been meaning to ask, did Tachibana-san get into college? I remember someone, I think it might have been Nagisa-kun, who said that he was planning to attend to set a good example for his siblings.

 

Rin: Yeah, he studied very hard and managed to scrape together the points needed to get a literature course. But he’s doing it part-time. His load is really lite. Like two subjects. It’s going to take him ages to finish but I suppose that’s okay. It’s not like he needs the degree to make a living. It’s more a hobby at this point.

 

Nitori: Must be so nice to be able to have talent that lets you treat college as a hobby! Not only do I not know what I want to do in college, I don’t even know if I can make it to college! Plus Nagisa-kun and I will probably have to break-up after this year. That sucks to!

 

Rin: No one said you have to break-up.

 

Nitori: I think its inevitable. Nagisa-kun is getting bored of me already. Ryugazaki-san said that Nagisa-kun is the type of person for whom open relationships were invented. I think if we tried to have a long distance relationship, I would definitely have to let Nagisa-kun sleep with whatever cute guy he runs into wherever he ends-up. I don’t think I can do that. I can’t do that. I am really old fashioned when it comes to that sort of thing.

 

Rin: Has Nagisa said anything?

 

Nitori: Of course not. Only thing he said about the future is that he isn’t going to go to college but try to make it big in show business somehow. So he wants to move to Tokyo and said I should aim for Tokyo universities too.

 

Rin: If that’s the case, I suggest you stop assuming Nagisa will dump you at the end of high school so he can live the life of a swinger or get a boyfriend who is okay with an open relationship. Just… talk to him. Even Makoto and Haru had to talk before they understood each other fully and those two can read each others minds!

 

Nitori: You are right Senpai! I always feel better talking to you! I just wish I could make you feel better too!

 

Rin: You do. Just being able to vent helps.

 

* * *

 

“Am I a sex addict?” Rin wondered randomly, “That’s a thing right?” he asked himself, “And sex addicts like alcoholics don’t really enjoy what they are doing. They just do it for other reasons. Like compulsion and because they live shitty lives and they need the escape. Is that why I am checkout all these people and wondering who I could take to a love hotel for a quick romp? Has my life hit rock bottom again?”

 

“But why?” he kept wondering to himself, “I am in the National team training program still. I won a silver medal in the Asian games and a good prospect for the next Olympics. I got into the course I wanted in university. So why am I so miserable? Why do I want to just make a pass at the next person that comes out of his random convenience store frequented by college students and see if I can’t get the person to the nearest love hotel. Ah, what does it matter. If the person agrees, at least I’ll have a bit of fun,” with that Rin got ready to try and pick-up the next person that came out of the convenience store.

 

The doors slide open and out walked, Yazaki Aki. “Matsuoka-kun!” she said joyfully, “What an unexpected surprise!” Rin was shocked, then he started laughing, “Ma… Matsuoka-kun?”

 

“I think I am being sent a message,” replied Rin cryptically.

 

“A message?’ wondered Aki.

 

“Don’t worry about it,” said Rin, it would be awkward to explain afterall. But Aki was one of the few people who Rin wouldn’t just use as a random warm body to gain momentary comfort from. So it was clearly a sign that  “If you are free, let’s get some coffee.”

 

* * *

 

“Are you happy?” asked Makoto.

 

“What do you mean?” asked Rin in turn.

 

“I take that as a no,” said Makoto as he sighed, “But why Rin? Aren’t you doing what you want?”

 

“I am happy when I train,” replied Rin honestly, “I get-up and look forward to training. I am really excited in the morning. I also enjoy my classes. I am always a bit reluctant to actually get to class but once I am there, I am pretty happy. It’s just that after I have done everything, finished training, finished my coursework that…” Rin couldn’t really put it into words but he did his best, “I read books, play games, try to keep myself amused or just get the rest I need. But I don’t know… I just feel so listless. It’s like, when everything I have to do is out of the way and I am free to do what I want, I don’t want to do anything.”

 

Makoto wasn’t sure what he could say in reply to that. All he could do was apologise, “I am sorry, Haru and I, we haven’t been very good friends to you.”

 

“What are you talking about! Haru spends more time with me then he does with you! It’s only natural that when he’s finally done with his own studies and we have both finished the chore of eating,” because eating was a chore now given how much they had to eat, “He would want to keep you to himself.”

 

“But we should have more fun together, all three of us!” said Makoto, “When term break comes-up, if you and Haru can get a few days off training, let’s go somewhere together!”

 

“Ah, I don’t really want to be a third wheel on a romantic outing,” replied Rin.

 

“No, no! We’ll ask Rei and Nagisa too! It’ll be a group outing! I mean,” Makoto added with a smile, “Rei and Nagisa must be stressed too! Thinking about the future, especially since Rei has university exams to worry about as well.”

 

“Well, I suppose that would be okay.”

 

* * *

 

Rin: It’s frustrating.

 

Nitori: What is?

 

Rin: Watching Makoto and Haru.

 

Nitori: Umm… is it because they are one of those super cute, annoyingly lovey dovey couples?

 

Rin: Actually, they aren’t all that different from what they were before they got together… aside from the kissing and sex. But Makoto is pretty considerate. So its not like I keep walking in on them or anything. No, I mean it’s frustrating watching Makoto limit himself because of Haru. He just shortened a tour schedule against his managements advice because Haru didn’t want him to be away for too long.

 

Nitori: But isn’t it supposed to be like that in a relationship? Compromise and give and take?

 

Rin: Yeah, but… I don’t know. I just feel as if Makoto and Haru are both settling for less then they can achieve and its frustrating because both of them have so, so much potential.

 

Nitori: But maybe they just want to be with each other above everything else? Maybe that’s their goal and so they don’t care if, I don’t know, they aren’t… I don’t know, everything they could be professionally.

 

Rin: Don’t you think they might regret it? Later?

 

Nitori: I don’t know. But maybe they would also regret not spending enough time together too! I mean, Nagisa-kun told me about what happened in their training camp back when Nagisa-kun was a first year. So Tachibana-san has already nearly died twice! I think that might stop them from taking much for granted.

 

Rin: Yeah, you have a point.

 

* * *

“Go out with me,” said Rin.

 

 

“Absolutely no!” replied Aki.

 

“But why not!”

 

“Matsuoka-kun, in the last 12 months you have had six girlfriends, one boyfriend and that’s just people you were together for more than a week! I don’t think even you know how many one-night stands you have had,” Aki pointed out.

 

“That’s why I am asking you to go out with me,” replied Rin, “For once I want to be in a relationship where I can just be myself.”

 

“The answer is still no,” said Aki.

 

Rin sighed, “Fine, I’ll just have to remain in the friendzone and slowly but surely show you what an awesome guy I am!”

 

“You’ll be in the zone for a long time,” replied Aki.

 

“That’s okay,” said Rin, “You can’t win a gold medal without being in the training zone for a long, long time.”

 

* * *

 

“So remind me again why I am doing this?” asked Rin.

 

“Because Haruka wanted to be taught by you,” said Aki, “I thought you would be happy that your little princess wants you to be her swimming coach.”

 

“I know about Haruka but why am I also teaching Makihiko?” demanded Rin.

 

“Because Haru-kun only swims free?” offered Aki.

 

“Aki!”

 

“Well that’s why he’s here. Haru-kun taught him freestyle, Makoto-kun taught him a bit of back and a bit of breast but felt he might pass on bad habits and so wanted you to check his breast and back strokes and teach him butterfly. So I made a play date!” said Aki with a grin.

 

Rin made dissatisfied noises but before he could reply, the door to the living room burst open and little Haruka ran in with Makihiko. “Daddy! Look, look, Mako-chan is here!”

 

“Mako… shouldn’t it be Maki-chan?” asked Rin.

 

“I like Mako-chan better,” said Haruka, “I mean Uncle Nagisa says we are the next MakoHaru! Whatever that is!”

 

Rin’s eyebrows twitched in irritation, “Nagisa said what…”

 

“Papa Haru says MakoHaru means we’ll always be together, Haru-chan,” said little Makihiko, all Tachibana smiles and adorableness, “Just like Papa Haru and Daddy Mako!”

 

“I want to be with Mako-chan forever!” said little Haruka.

 

“Over my dead body!” declared Rin.

 

Haruka teared-up, “Daddy is so mean!”

 

“You are awful!” declared Aki.

 

“Don’t cry Haru-chan! I’ll change Uncle Rin’s mind! I…” Makihiko started to say.

  
“Let’s just go swimming before this get’s any more…” Rin didn’t know what to say, so he gave-up and added with a sigh, “Let’s just go swimming.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, a bonus chapter of a sequel to “Losing Makoto” that I am NOT writing. I think it should be obvious why I won’t be writing the sequel. The sequel would be more Rin-centric but obviously with lot of MakoHaru. But it would just be an endless stream of MakoHaru fluff and no one wants that! Right? Anyway, hope you enjoyed this bonus chapter. I don’t know what, if anything, I am going to do in Free!dom. invisible kid Jr I know wants me to do a full MakoRin. I myself have toyed with turning my one-shot based on the ending AU Hoping & Waiting into a multi chapter fic. Although I was thinking of it more from Nagisa’s point of view as in the ending he’s a köçek (wiki it if you are curious) in the ending and they didn’t have the happiest of lives. But I don’t really have a plot for that story. So I’ll just wait and see if something occurs to me. In the meantime, thanks again for reading! Have fun!


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